July 28th, 2005

perfect as im ever gonna be

(no subject)

ive come to realize slowly, but through time. i am NOTHING to you. you might love me, but you have loved the girl before & after me as well. making me nothing, but another girl who came into your life, longer, yes, but not any different. ive wondered how it was possible to love someone & yet treat them so poorly at times. ive learned hard that NOBODY would hurt somebody the way you have hurt me. i should have known that coming into this when people would tell me how you claimed to be single, when we were together. the biggest slap in the face! the fact is if i know you lie, and i find out some "truth" after i force you to tell me.. then, how much else are you hiding?

all my GOOD guy friends ALWAYS teach me to keep my head up, its not worth the fight so its not worth the tears. which is true to every extent. sometimes i get far too distracted and lose sight of all the MORE important things in life. if i hold on long enough to see what i have maybe then ill never worry about letting it go. ♥
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    accomplished
perfect as im ever gonna be

(no subject)

update whore today. whatever.

my goals for the rest of this summer:
(a). lose weight/get toned [dont say shit about me NOT needing to lose weight. youll see the finished product so then you can bitch]
(b). grow my hair out longer/get it darker [sick of cutting it, im addicted to it]
(c). get darker
(d). start researching more colleges
(e). new job=mine sucks!
(f). party!!!
(g). enroll in some design classes at joanns that they do.
(h). look into taking lessons [dance, kickboxing, etc.]

i need some EXTRA motivation, man. so if anyone wants to join me, thatd be awesome.
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    amused amused