March 10th, 2005

perfect as im ever gonna be

(no subject)

i cant believe im so lame enough to buy a cd that sucks just out of pure boredom, and now i cant take it back. go figure. ill sell it to someone for like.. $5 (tori amos, compared to the $16 i bought it for). tomorrow, before work, im going to buy fiona apples' so somewhere, they better have it.

i cant wait until summer. everyday im planning to wake up by 11, work-out every few days :: sand volleyball, go to the gym, basketball, football, soccer, the whole 9. anyone down for it with all seriousness, let me know now because pretty soon you'll be harrassed by me :) no, but i seriously want someone who would do that, im all for the partying, but i dont want it to fly byy again. i slept in most of the summer, and it sucks wasting my day away. at the beginning of this i worked-out, lost 10 lbs, gained muscle. it was nice, but i get bored of not having some sort of source of motivation. im pretty hard core about stuff like that. i know brandy & i kept promising to work-out together, but this time, full seriousness.

i dont have time to waste on sitting there wondering if so & so likes me, because i truly dont care. we waste too much time worrying/caring, not enjoying the moments with the people who truly do care. im not afraid of rejection because i dont care, it works to my advantage, one less guy i have to wonder about. i had the best summer because i didnt settle down, it took the end to settle me. it took a guy who spent 4-5 months trying to settle me down.

guys think that once they got you, they dont have to try anymore. if they have you, they can try to get exactly what they want without worrying about anything else, most of us give that to them without a problem, so it makes it easier for them to move on to something else. you know? not all guys, but just some advice for other girls who can relate. "girls go weak when guys go soft", and if you tell yourself you wont get attached, and keep telling yourself that, you wont. <3