January 16th, 2005

perfect as im ever gonna be

(no subject)

i had the BIGGEST laugh of my life.. :) needless to say I cannot share it, it is kind`ve cruel to laugh about in spite of others.

anyways, im talking to my old neighbor. i ADORE him, seriously... we grew up together. lately, ive been raking my brain to actually take the time to drive out & see him. i think most of it is nerves. i wonder if we'll pick up where we left off, and be like we use to be, or have NOTHING in common. to him, i use to be ONE of the guys.. i could go over his house & play basketball, chill with his family, or he could just chill with mine. i miss that kid, i swear. its nice knowing that hed always be there to take care of me, and if i needed him to kick someones ass, hed gladly do it. hes suppose to be going to boot camp, as for the time, its been put on hold :/

ps. i have a job now, at the mall.
perfect as im ever gonna be

(no subject)

rant:

people really fucking amaze me. they voted against bush in the elections for reasons being they were AGAINST war, against innocent people dying, against fighting a war they didnt believe, they didnt believe we should be there, didnt see what was relevant about it.. and now i see why as much technology as we have, why so many OTHER countries hate us. see, they mock us because we go to war on their soil, and yet the people who PROTEST against this war are the same people who will so easily point a finger at someone, and wish death on them. how is that any different? if you have the NERVE to drink & drive, get into a car, kill someone else.. how is that any better? how is it any better than spreading an uncurable std around when you know you have it? how is it any different than not taking care of yourself properly or eating properly? yet i see some people in this country who laugh when someone else dies in our country .. they voted against him when they still light up ciggarettes everyday, and are somehow/shape/form killing themselves.. who defines innocence anyway? who IS that hypocritical to point fingers at eachother, when they cant point fingers at themselves? people get SO offended when you dont think their way, when in all rationality/truth they are only killing themselves. people want to own guns, they think its ok to have an ak-47 to protect them against an intruder.. who NEEDS that? some people have weapons not even the military is equipped with. little kids get a hold of these guns, and kill themselves because mommy & daddy were TOO stupid to lock it up. what kind of world are we creating for ourselves if we feel we NEED to protect ourselves by having a gun? you think its that much different than fighting a war, but the truth is.. its not much different at all. more people die from lung cancer, from killing eachother, because our society is SO corrupted. instead of punishing people for crimes, we give them chances to redeem themselves. most serial killers did something that got them in trouble with the law, but think of all those lives that could have been spared had we NOT let people off so easily. people who fuck up in school can still easily bring on the tears, and still they are handed their diploma at the end of the year, thus setting an example for other graduates out there. people dont want to be known as the bitch or the asshole, and what it comes down to is.. YOU HAVE TO BE every now and then.

we are so easy to destruct now because we are so easily persuaded, easily corrupted, easily pushed/brainwashed.

sorry, HUGE rant. it may not make sense, im trying to get somewhere WITHOUT trying to point fingers at one single person, or at anyone in general, because it really isnt. it is just somethings to think about. somethings rushing through my brain.