Jen (_steamysex) wrote,

i cant say im NOT bitter, because i do understand. i dont want too, though. thats how i always am, understanding. i do forgive you, and i do not blame you. part of me wants too. weve been through so many things together, ive always considered you one of my bestfriends. i cant say it doesnt hurt that not being able to hang-out with me is being a hypocrite or hurting someone, and if you had to hurt someone.. id ask it to be me. i wish i didnt always have to rationalize people because it keeps me from staying angry at them. why am i so loyal? im like a puppy dog. im always cheerful/outgoing/loyal, you hurt me & i ALWAYS come back.

i am happy for you. i wouldnt trade how life worked out for anything because id be bargaining with the devil, and i know i didnt make you half as happy, we were always better as friends. we had a good relationship, but we were always closer to eachother as friends. ill always love you because you were my first true love, and nothing can change all that. im sorry if i put so much confusion into your head, but i want you happy. i dont want to be the girl of the PAST, the bad side. i feel like she makes you happy, i make you confused. i dont want that to be the side of you i get.
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