Jen (_steamysex) wrote,

i think of this song by dave matthews right now, and in my head it goes something like, "come crash into me". it kindve goes on repeating itself, and i have all of these images flicking into my head. i think of all these mean things i can say back to my ex in response to all of the shit he says to me. then wonder, have i gone too far? 3 years ago, i never acted this way. i never made someone hurt the way they hurt me. i cant believe the things i say now to some of the people i love/care SO MUCH about. i want to feel bad, but i feel somewhat justified. that still ISNT what i need to hear, though.

i want to hate you for calling me a slut, implying that im fat/gained weight, or lying to my face. i want to hate you for at one point making me feel ugly. now you refer to me as some self-centered bitch, but the truth is.. i dont have a low self-esteem about myself. i know its me that you keep running back to, i know its me you spend your time apologizing to. i know its me who always forgives, just never forgets.

by the way. im not a slut, i remained faithful to you when i was with you. i am not ugly, im one of the few girls who can feel comfortable without a MASK on her face. im not fat, im under my body fat percentage. im not self-centered, i just dont care anymore.
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