Tags: dr shlomo zelig

amysedaris cooking

(no subject)

thanks to dr. shlomo zelig for, always, pointing me to the grotesque foodstuffs:

MAYFIELD DAIRY birthday cake ice cream

maybe this is what she is having

i mean, look at her. poor b is like "oh shit, since jigga kicks my face in with his tims nightly, i hide my hurt in a bowl of buttercream". awww poor b, she's a survivorcakecream eater.

b'day cakecream? birthday bday?

HAPPY BDAY BEYONCE! HERE IS SOME TYPE II DIABETES, which we shall affectionately call "tha 'betes".

product description:

Sugar cookie flavored ice cream with a blue icing swirl and colored buttercream freckles

now everyone, in your best sawyer voice: HEY THERE BUTTERCREAM FRECKLES.
you dont worry

(no subject)

_stadtkind_ (9:53:42 AM): imagine
_stadtkind_ (9:53:45 AM): a kids party place
_stadtkind_ (9:53:47 AM): run by
_stadtkind_ (9:53:48 AM): kraftwerk.
_stadtkind_ (9:53:54 AM): partywerks!
drzachary (9:53:56 AM): i'd quit my job to work there
_stadtkind_ (9:54:06 AM): even if it was only minimum wage?
drzachary (9:54:15 AM): yeah
_stadtkind_ (9:54:43 AM): whoa.
_stadtkind_ (9:55:17 AM): the DEVO SKATE RINK
_stadtkind_ (9:58:06 AM): KATE BUSH CONCESSION STAND
_stadtkind_ (9:58:33 AM): kate bush concessions. isn't that what people who date me usually have to make?
you dont worry

(no subject)

i have decided i'm dressing like a low-rent early 80's siouxsie tomorrow, sans makeup.

a) because it's an outfit that's easy for me to grab from my closet

b) because oh, the humor...

also, i am watching this mtv show on which a girl, who already has a boyfriend, has her parents select two alternate boyfriends they prefer to her current beau. the girl then goes on individual dates with each of her parents' selections, while her parents and her current boyfriend watch (together) each date on television.

fuck i am glad i have cable.

_stadtkind_ (6:39:41 PM): while there are people who can not afford water?
_stadtkind_ (6:39:47 PM): i pay
_stadtkind_ (6:39:51 PM): so i can view things of this nature!
drzachary (6:40:08 PM): russ == marie antoinette
_stadtkind_ (6:40:50 PM): LET THEM EAT MUSIC TELEVISION

temple of rex da dawg

_stadtkind_ (10:51:44 AM): do you currently now
_stadtkind_ (10:51:45 AM): or have you ever
_stadtkind_ (10:51:46 AM): minded
_stadtkind_ (10:51:48 AM): the theft of
_stadtkind_ (10:51:51 AM): doughy yeast loaves?
drzachary (10:55:12 AM): depends
drzachary(10:55:40 AM): if from the food-entry-points of those who live lavishly and flaunt their wealth in front of others
drzachary (10:55:42 AM): then no, i don't mind
_stadtkind_ (10:56:19 AM): suppose, though
_stadtkind_ (10:56:24 AM): these edibles
_stadtkind_ (10:56:26 AM): are spread out
_stadtkind_(10:56:29 AM): on a flat surface
_stadtkind_(10:56:33 AM): and those who are consuming them?
_stadtkind_(10:56:38 AM): have this food stuck in their throats
_stadtkind_ (10:56:40 AM): thereby
_stadtkind_ (10:56:43 AM): blocking air passage?
drzachary (10:57:53 AM): in this hypothetical scenario, would the agriculturally-inclined infant offspring of forced servants be laboring?
drzachary(10:58:15 AM): and would this flat surface you've mentioned be coated in a sanguinary fluid?
_stadtkind_ (10:58:23 AM): i believe so!
_stadtkind_ (10:58:27 AM): and the oddest part
_stadtkind_ (10:58:28 AM): is that
_stadtkind_ (10:58:30 AM): someone
_stadtkind_ (10:58:32 AM): while all this is going on?
_stadtkind_ (10:58:39 AM): is suffering from pains of mal-nutrition!
drzachary(10:58:58 AM): what an almost unbelievable irony!