In the sun

(no subject)

Another night bled into morning causing sharp rays of light to pierce through my eyelids. It didn't help my hang over. Groaning, I cover my face with my arm and pull the cheap motel blankets up over my head with the other arm. It doesn't matter now, I'm wide awake, my memories stopping me from drifting back into a deaden slumber.

There was a time where I would have relished the sunrise. I would feel awed by its beauty.
Not anymore.
These days I'm lucky to be awake early enough to see the sunset let alone the sunrise. I spend my nights drinking and my days sleeping. I hate this life yet I can't stop myself. I'm not strong enough...there's not a good enough reason to.

Damn you Bethany, what have you done to me ? I mentally scream in anguish.
As if to response a vision of loveliness fills my memory as I think of the dark-haired succubus who lead me into temptation and then left me in darkness. I remember her and lust fills me again as does the feeling of self-loathing
Why didn't I recognize her for what she was ? How could I possibly think that she was human ?
But I didn't stop to think about it.
No, I just ran into her arms, giving her my heart and soul.

God...no. I won't ask for your help. I can't, I think as I reach over the side of the bed, feeling for a bottle. My hand finds it and I take a swig of whiskey. No I won't ask for your help because you wouldn't give it to me even if I did.
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