lol this cracked me up!!

[mood| Giggly ]

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
  • Current Music
    Matchbox Twenty - Could I be You
  • Tags

Soooo funny ^^

Mari posted this to boricuas and i just had to show this to ya guys..

Un puertoriqueño en el jotel

(This is a letter from a Puerto Rican... who didn't know how to express

himself in English.)

Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:

Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.

I cum from Puerto Rico as touris to Niu Yol and estay at yor jotel. When I

cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit

in my bed? Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: "I wanna shit". Dey tell

me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my bed". Dey sey

"You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch".

What is that of sonnawabitch?.

I go down for di restoran for breikfast. I order beicon and eggs and two

pisses of toast, I getta only one piss oftoast. I tell di waitress and I

points to toast. "I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"... I say

"No, No, I wanna piss on my plate". She den say to me: "You piss on yor

plate, I col da cops, you sonnawabitch". Secon person who don even know me,

and chi col me sonnawabitch!

What is that of sonnawabitch?

Later I go a dinner into restoran. Spoon and knife is der but no fock. I

tell di waitress "I wanna fock!", and she tell me: "Sure, everybody wanna

fock". I tell her "No, no, you don onderstand me. I wanna fock on di table".

She den tell me "So you sonnawabitch, you wanna fock on de table? Get yur

ass out of here". So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil. I

no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the porter say

to me: "Thank you and piss be with you". I say "pis son you too, you

sonnawabitch! "

If I go back to Guaynabo City , I'll never more comma stay in your jotel,

you sonnawabitch.


John Towers From-the-Ass, (Juan Torres Delano )
  • Current Music
    No tengo dinero - Los Kumbia Kings