If there's anything I'm cocky or conceited about, it's my little baby girl.

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This entry is too good to be friends-only.
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Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?

It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?

It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?

It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?

It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?

It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?

It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?

It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?

It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?

It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?

It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?

It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?

Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?

Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?

Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?

Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?

Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

Then it's Love.
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HOW TO LOVE A GIRL: tell her you think that she's cool. tell her why you think she's so cool. smell her. talk to her in movie theatres. pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the river, she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it. hold her hand and skip. hold her hand and run. just hold her hand. pick her flowers out of other people's gardens and give them to her. tell her she looks pretty. let her pay for stuff if she wants to. introduce her to your friends as 'the coolest girl i know'. sit in the park and talk to her. take her to the library and playgrounds and train stations. tell her dirty jokes. tell her stupid jokes. talk about politics. write poems about her. just walk around with her. throw pebbles at her window at night, when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. take her to shows of bands she's never heard. hold her hand in the mosh pit. let her fall asleep in your arms. call her. call her back if she calls you. sing to her, no matter how bad you are. carve your names into a tree. get her mad, then kiss her. give her piggy-back rides. go see her band play even if they really suck. and tell her that they were great. give her space if she needs it. push her on swings. stay up with her all night when she's sick. make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones. teach her guitar. lend her your cds. write on her. make her mixtapes. write her letters. if she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even it it means a 5 hour train trip. take her to cool shops and let her take you to even cooler ones. listen to all the bands she mentions. dont tell her that her favorite bands suck. when shes sad hang out with her or stay on the phone even if shes not saying anything. buy her ice cream. when you find out that she used to be a teenybopper dont bag her about it. let her take all the photos of you she wants. look into her eyes. slow dance with her, even if the music if fast. kiss her in the rain. when you fall in love with her, tell her.

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Yeah I'm making my journal friends only again. woo hoo! Here's the list of the people that are definately staying, either because they comment and I know they read it, or because they give good head. If you're not on the list its probably because you never comment or you give bad head. If you want to stay on my friends list, leave a comment and I'll keep you. Tomorrow I'll probably start taking people off.


















I had it all alphabetized then I realized I forgot to add kelli on there. So yeah lol theres a random c at the end Today school was rather interesting.

First hour->Same old

Second hour->took a test that I thought I was going to fail but I think I wound up doing really good on it. After the test we didn't have really anything to do so I was talking to Billy, Dan, and Trevin and they were drawing things on the overhead and the sub that we had didn't even notice it. They were drawing like obscene things and anarchy symbols. It was pretty funny. Then dan was GAY and pulled my hair out, then he threw my notebook and my red book in the garbage and the loose papers in my notebook went all over the room. Then he like touched my face and rubbed my eye and my make up smeared and he claimed it wasn't his fault. LOL w/e. I hate him! yet I love him!

Third hour->took another test which I think I did okay on except a couple questions but go figure. Nothing really happened.

Fourth hour->weight room again

Lunch->Rachel and I had to make up a lie that she could tell her mom. She got written up in fourth hour and she thinks shes going to get a detention for it so she was freaking out, haha, loser.

Fifth hour->Another effing sub. We had to do an entire section outline which was retarded, I have two full pages as of right now and I'm not even half done. Me and Dustin were making up names for Ms Jens. He called her MJ dawg and I called her Ms Jensizzle. g00d times?

Sixth hour->ANOTHER effing sub and ANOTHER effing test. We had to read the first 42 pages of the Great Gatsby over night but none of us did so at my table me, amanda, tony, john and adam did the test together lol we're such cheaters. I'm over it. We had so much fun in that class. We had to do a study guide for the first chapter and the sub asked us one of the questions about what kind of person Daisy is and tony raised his hand and goes ''She's a WHORE!" and i go ''No she's just easy'' LOL

Thats about it. I was invited to a few places tonight but I dont think I'm going out. I can't and I'm tired anyway so I don't care too much. I'm going to dye my hair tonight I think. I'm dying it darker brown and I'm putting either blonde, red or purple in it, I'm not sure what yet. Oh well. Well that's it, leave comments?

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    XMAS MUSIC !! woo hoo

That's a fun story

So anyway last night's entry was kind of a rant which I'm sure nobody read because rants are boring. Oh well, i don't know why I felt so horrible, I probably felt worse than when me and Gabe broke up and thats crazy because you can't compare five months to two days. But anyway Today school was pretty gay but oh well. First hour was boring so I wrote Tyler a note explaining something. Second hour Mr Ossy showed us a video, made us copy down questions to the video and take a quiz all at the same effing time. Third hour I actually did my work. I've been doing everything in there lately and I've been getting 100% on all my work so I'm hoping that by the time I get my progress report my ecology grade will be like a high C or even a B. I'd be so happy. I'd die happy. Fourth hour we did a bunch of ab work outs which really hurt my abs like they always do then we ran for like 10 minutes. At lunch Adam gave me back the note I gave him to give Tyler and told me Tyler wasn't in his 3rd hour and I hadn't seen him at school either. So oh well. Lunch was pretty gay because Rachel was in pain and she thought it was her appendix and she was all worried because she had all the symptoms of needing her appendix out and she had them last night too. Government we took notes and did a section review which I didn't finish >:o . English we had to read the first two chapters of Great Gatsby but we only read a few pages so I have to finish that tonight and there's alot of it which is gayyyy.
We got out of school early today, woo hoo! not that much earlier, we got out at 1:50 though lol.
I'm bored and I'm tired and I want food because it makes me happy. :(

Me and Jessica are telling fun stories!
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Fucking shit.

Tyler right now, is I guess too stressed out to think about having a relationship with me. He told me that he didn't think things through when he asked me out and I guess now he like regrets it. Well I'd regret asking me out too. It sucks though because this is the reason we took a break back in the spring and the reason it took us like 9 months to get back together. Last time we broke it off he was stressed and couldnt deal with having a girlfriend at the time. I told him I'd give him time to think about things and we just wound up never going back out, two months later I found Gabe and now we're right back where we started (or ended). Blah I can't be mad at him for it though because it's not like its his fault. I'm just so tired of having guy problems right now, which is really selfish of me but I mean blah I've been stressed about it. Tyler doesn't intend to hurt me in any way but I mean it does hurt, I wish he had thought about what he really wants before going and building my hopes up. I don't want him to be in a relationship with me if he doesn't want to be though because that would just not be right. Idk, when it comes to my relationships I always get way too emotionally involved which isn't good but I mean I care so much about Tyler and he's one of my good friends besides my boyfriend so I can't help but wish things weren't so effing complicated. Earlier I was thinking maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with Gabe. Maybe I wasn't thinking right. Maybe I'll never find someone who treated me so well, who showed every day just how much he loved and cared for me, even in the smallest ways. Maybe I should've stayed with him. Maybe I shouldn't have told Tyler I wanted to date him again. Maybe I should've just fucking stayed with Gabe. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I have no feeilngs left for Gabe, and if I had stayed with him any longer I would've lost it. Sure, Gabe cared for me and showed it every day and I"ll probably NEVER have that again, but i cant stay with someone just for that.
I know what most of you are thinking. You're thinking I should break up with Tyler. Well I'm not going to , its his decison what to do. I can't make up his mind for him. BLAH and I was really happy too. :(
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