Another angel with clipped wings...

This is the type of self realization that mighta killed the lord....

24 February

It's interesting if when observing the recent trend (maybe not so recent) in online communities, you pay particular attention to the sections dedicated to the open ended "About You/Me" response. For the most part you'll find a mix of responses. Some people have book length descriptions while others merely describe their physical being. Then there's always the blank ones, the picture filled ones, the quote filled ones, the list goes on. I want to say this as a generalization, but I know I could be deeply wrong... but for the most part it feels like for those of us who leave those sections blank, or let pictures or quotes do the talking for us, to an extent there's a lack of ability to truly talk about ourselves. Whether it be because we're just not comfortable setting things in stone, or because we just don't know ourselves that well. I'm not sure where I fall in that spectrum. I know for a long time I was the fan of pictures, quotes, and the like, still am. There's an aesthetic aspect it to that's undeniable. Who knows this little piece of writing in a few months, maybe a day, could be replaced with a solitary picture.

But at the moment, at this point in time, I feel comfortable writing about myself. I wouldn't say it's because I've reached some level of enlightenment or even because I have myself figured out, but I guess it's just because I realized that no one ever really does, at least not at this age or any time soon. It's a life long process and who's to say when it's over? Is there ever really a cap to how much you can learn? Is there ever a point where you can sit and comfortably write your own biography, beginning, middle, and end? To me that's ridiculous, that's becoming complacent in the idea that you're done with life.

I stopped paying attention to this section so much because this journal has become a very personal endeavor. You wont find my deepest darkest secrets on it, but it's definitely become a very personal therapeutic tool. I don't use it as a calling card, or generally publicize it much, so I don't really bother with things like this, but I had the urge to do it today, no clue why. I guess this is for the random person who finds my journal on random, or if you click on my name after an interesting post, or for friends who from time to time check on journal pages.

My public entries seem sporadic and hard to follow, but that's mainly because the majority of my entries are 'friends only.' As trivial as that sounds, I can assure you my life is not that great or fabulous, just something I prefer to do. Then again though, even if you are a friend, my journal can still be very weird and sporadic. I tend to be overly repetitive and probably harp on small details, but I do so without apologies now. I realized it's stupid to apologize for being to detailed or lengthy in a journal, because the very concept of a journal holds the premise that you're a little anal in that you want to document every little detail of your life.

About me? I'm young, hopeful, and eager to learn about everything and anything. I'm not good at judging things for what they are or always making the best decisions, but I always have my heart in the right place. I love good people, good times, and just living- as difficult as that can be sometimes.

Life's a struggle, it's a lesson... that's about it.