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...off topic - random babble

I made this livejournal some time ago, and decided to dedicate it to only icon-related updates (hence the title 'scarlett icons' - Scarlett being my name). As readers of this message are well aware, I usually post my updates on several icon communities (mostly harry potter related) directing visitors back to this space, and I don't force in irrelevant little anecdotes for my own personal ranting exposure. Today, however, I decided to take one small break from icon updates. I won't be posting this mini update on any communities, and I am not looking for feedback on anything (but if you want to share your thoughts on my situation, you're very free to :)).

Basically, I wish to grow up.

I am currently majoring in Advertising at Centennial College near downtown Toronto. I am 21 years old and this is the second time I've started college. The first time didn't go too well (I hated the courses), so I took a little break, decided to work for a while to save up for my own tuition for future education, and then enrolled in Centennial for Fall of 2005. So far, it's going great. I'm receiving decent grades for all my courses, I've managed to not get on the bad side of any of the professors, and I have more friends than I can possibly count... but the one thing I wish would go away is insignificant drama.

At the beginning of the school year, two girls (we'll call them Mary and Sarah) and I became friends instantly. We would spend most of our time in the building together - and we'd also go shopping in downtown Toronto sometimes. Now, I had just met them, so I didn't want to get so close that I would fail to see their flaws... and boy did they have many. When you're friends with someone, the little things can sometimes be ignored. For instance, whenever we'd be walking down the hallways together, they would just leave me without bothering to inform me. Obviously, this isn't a big deal. It's rather miniature and I didn't think much on it. But it started to occur on a daily basis. We'd all be in the washroom, and they'd walk off without telling me... then when I finally managed to find them, they'd insist that it wasn't done on purpose. I figured, okay, that's just how they are, no big deal. Like I said, the first month of a new school can't possibly dictate to you the personality of every single student you interact with. I assumed that they were indeed nice people, despite their constant lack of communication. However, things began to take a different toll when they dared to accuse ME of leaving them without saying so. They would get upset with me for ditching them, or not including them in my washroom breaks. Hmmm...

Sometimes I can't help it. I treat people with the philosophy... "an eye for an eye"... Maybe that's a bit hypocritical, and even judgemental and insensitive, but it's a characteristic flaw that I've had to struggle with for some time. I told them that I assumed it was how they were - that they wouldn't care. This was the truth, and I really didn't think they'd mind at all. But they did.

That, however, wasn't really what drove me away from them. Another flaw I found while being friends with them was that they ENJOYED excluding people. Our classroom desks are comprised of long tables, fit to sit about 4-5 people - so we'd always sit beside each other. I was usually at one end - only because I don't like sitting in the middle. Now get this, whenever a conversation arose during class, the girl sitting in the middle would turn her back to me, completely, and chat it up with the other. I thought maybe it was just a bit of paranoia in me, so I decided to test it out. During one computer class, I sat in the middle... and guess what happened? They would bend over me and talk to each other.

Now, at this point I had concluded that they didn't want me around. I was perfectly all right with that. I hadn't known them for more than a month, and I was set to branch out and talk to other new people in the class. So, I told Mary that because of the way they treated me, I would seek friendship in other people... Mary (one of the girls, over MSN) kept insisting that they never ignored me on purpose, that I had to make an effort as well. What she failed to see was that if she really wasn't doing it on purpose, than she shouldn't have been doing it at all - because I had talked to her about it quite a few times before reaching this decision. No effort was made on their part. I tried to let it slide. I attempted to put aside the little things... But often, if the little things are ignored, they build up so high that in the end... it's all you see...

I also told Mary that I still consider both her and Sarah great girls, and that I would also consider them friends. I didn't want any drama, especially considering the fact that we were all in college. It was just a fallout - and maybe we weren't meant to be close. I told her it didn't matter because we didn't know each other well anyway, and that perhaps we'll all be better off this way, and that there really are no hard feelings - that I just feel this is what should be done. Apparently, she told Sarah about this, and both of the girls decided to ignore me for the next month.

Honestly, I don't have time for situations like this at this point in my life. Thankfully, the friends I made afterwards are a group of amazing people - who know what a friend really is. They're all so great and I am thankful for being given the chance to hang out with them. I guess I should thank Sarah and Mary...

If, however, you are in no mood to read about a certain situation that occured in the last couple of months at my college, then perhaps these MIGHT make up for it. (click the icons for a larger view of the image. The first is one of Jessica Alba. It was originally a black & white photograph of her. I gave it colour. The second is a request for a Harry Potter blend. You may take either one if you wish, however, please remember to abide by the rules of this livejournal.

And last, I will leave you with a word of advice - treat others how you want to be treated.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 1st, 2005 09:41 pm (UTC)
That blend is beautiful. =] Perhaps you can do a tutorial on doing coloring on black and white images?
Dec. 3rd, 2005 02:21 am (UTC)
Hey, thanks for liking the blend. I actually made it using a tutorial I found... right here. Enjoy!
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 9th, 2005 08:28 pm (UTC)
Hello. I gotta say, I followed all the steps that was posted in that other member's LJ... But, I'll make one anyway. Check back in about a week or so. If I post it up earlier I'll leave a comment for you. :)
Dec. 9th, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
That sucks about the whole thing with Sarah and Mary. They seem somewhat immature and still in the "High School" mode and make things that aren't that big of a deal, a big deal. Well, at least you found better friends so I guess it happened for a reason.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )



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