Drawn Away

 Hello Livejournal Friends!

Although I've loved writing on this blog (and will still post here from time to time) for now another blog is occupying my bandwidth, so to speak.

I've taken up the challenge of sketching something every day and writing about it.  I'm hoping that the combination of images and ideas will provide something for everyone, and start some conversations.  However, that won't be possible without readership!  So please do come and take a look  at:

"She's So Sketchy" at www.shessosketchy.blogspot.com 

The kinds of sketches I do will vary widely, and I'm very open to suggestions!  

I'm looking forward to hearing from you over the next 342 days! 

I Say the Darndest Things

Printing large documents, especially in color, takes time.  I like to allow 20 minutes or so, and I tell customers to go and come back later.  They are baffled by the idea that their printing is not instantaneous.  Here are some of my favorite answers as to why not:

- "It's a copy machine, not your fairy godmother."
- "Millions of copies are made.  Only a few make it out."
- " Machine copies take twenty minutes.  It takes longer if I paint them."

Expensive Technology Helps Restore Faith in Humanity

Seconds ago a student came into our office saying she found an iphone in the women's room and called the last person it texted to tell them she was leaving it with us.

Meanwhile the Text-Receiver found the Owner, who called the phone while the Samaritan was still here. Owner and phone were reunited within seconds.

Technology allowed a good deed to be done at an amazing speed, and one college student helped to slowly improve my view of the human condition.

iPhone and its minor discontents

A short post as I am writing from my new iphone! Get excited. I have not activated it yet, but there seems to be wireless here at the Zero Arrow. Yes, i am at the world famous Club Oberon. More on that later. Only trouble so far is that underscores are not on the keyboard, so I had to find my username and copy/paste it! Still, I seem to have entered the 21st century in terms of my technology (even though I am currently working in 1979.)

Snakes in a Motherf*c%ing Opera!

Tonight and one night only, Berklee College of Music's first opera "Holy Ghosts" (costumed by yours truly!)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 8:15 p.m.
Berklee Performance Center
136 Mass Avenue, Boston

The world premiere of an original opera based on the play by Romulus Linney. Music by Larry Bell, libretto by Linney and Andrea Olmstead. Bell conducts a cast of 22 opera singers and electronic instrument players (all instrumentalists are Berklee faculty). Fully staged, directed by Eve Summer

Many of our brilliantly talented singers are also members of  Boston Opera Collaborative, so I have costumed them before. 

Everyone sounds beautiful and looks appropriate disheveled.  And there are snakes.

The Book of Mark, Chapter 16, verses 17 and 18:
“And these signs shall follow them that believe. They shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents.”


My grandmother passed away this afternoon, having lingered for a week in a coma after a sudden respiratory attack.
She was 70 years old and otherwise in excellent health.
She had no fear of death... she was a parent to me... I cannot begin to know how to mourn her, or to what extent I may.
But I miss her.

On Love

I don't usually like to pontificate on weighty topics out loud, since my compulsive tendency to attempt full sentences either makes me trip up over my words or else say something that sounds terribly prophetic and pretentious. Nor do I commit them to print, since that is anathema to the comical essay (my favorite form.)

But I've been thinking tonight about love.

Not about dating... dating is an exercise. Like physical exercise, people do it different ways and many find it fun.

Speaking of physical exercise.... I'm not equating love with sex. Sex isn't about love, sex is about trust, because sex is full of mishaps and foolishness, and one has to know that such silliness won't be held against them. Although sex leads to me to how I want to talk about love... because what love does for sex is give leniency. Someone loved can do nearly no wrong, and what otherwise might be a mediocre hook-up becomes a step to a better next time, when there will be more knowledge and more trust.

Basically, someone loved is nearly perfect and worth improving. Really ANYTHING loved is this way... from a pampered dog to stamp collection: Superior to other things that might take focus, and worthy of investment.

Here's a story. When my parents split, a drama starring my parents was revealed, one that could have fueled the Lifetime channel for a year. My then boyfriend asked for the whole story, so I sat under a tree in my old hometown and gave it to him in unemotional bullet points (which only underlined the garish truth.) He gave the kind of sparse, sweet reaction that would probably be typical of anyone I'd date. And two weeks later he broke up with me. Over the phone. While I was driving up to see him.
When he sent me a message two weeks after that, we had a conversation which led to me mentioning that I probably hadn't been very easy to love. He said something I'll never forget: "It isn't about how easy you are to love..."

Whenever I try too hard to earn someone's approval, I think about that... that I should be allowed to be whoever I am and someone ought to love me in spite of that for that.

Of course, you'll recognize the thing that'll screw a girl up is if I write you his whole sentence:
"It isn't about how easy you are to love...I just never loved you."
Meaning love is totally out of one's control, but easy enough to feign and to mistake.... revelations which are, (to use the sarcastic form of a usual Cara-ism)....lovely.

But what of the people who say they love you but treat you terribly? How do they fit? Or those who say that if YOU loved THEM, you wouldn't ask for them for anything that they might not be able to provide, because it pains them to say "no?"

Now, I don't normally like Coldplay (have you noticed that Clocks is just an inversion of Speed of Sound? I consider that cheating) but I did always love the song Yellow:

Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones/
Turn into something beautiful/
And you know, you know I love you so/
You know I love you so...

We don't make ourselves better so someone will love us.... we seem better because they do.
Except when they don't... in which case we can love ourselves, if we are to have any hope of advancing.
And we can love others, and tell them so... I always say so, even though I've been told it sounds alternately silly and scary when I do... I think it's important that people know that they are loved; that they are nearly perfect and worth perfecting.

Well, I'll keep trying to love... universally, but specifically. Investing in other people, and trusting one day to turn around and find I have more help than I'd dared hope. Even if I'm laboring under a false definition. Even if it hasn't worked so far.
  • Current Music
    Walter Reed -Michael Penn

Chop Chop. Also, Pirates.*

Chop Chop: I'm considering bobbing my hair. Thoughts?

Pirates: Raised as I was on the North Shore, I am partial to pirates and other sea-faring folk. Love me some shanties, stories about the West Indies, and tales of haunted captain's houses.
However I recently found YA author John Green's brilliant answer to that age-old question: "Pirates or ninjas?"

"Ok- On the one hand we have a bunch of alcoholic peg-leg smokers with scurvy, and then on the other hand we have perfectly trained killing machines in excellent physical condition. So...Ninjas."

I may have been officially swayed. Damn you, sense-making!

*(I would say "and Ninjas," but the ninjas are invisible.)

Guerrilla Marketers Took My Shoes

I took an early lunch because I had an important errand to run that involved bolting to the bank on Federal St.

Well, in the lobby of the WTC East were a group of Australians in New Balance apparel, who stopped me and asked me if I wanted to exchange my current sneakers for the new "New Balance 768's."

I was wearing Skechers that I bought at TJ Max for $10. They were slip on and very cute (yes, actually cute...the mesh of the design was lace and ribbon.) In fact, I had just been thinking on Monday of how dirty they were getting and what a shame that was and how I hoped I could replace them when they wore out.

Being pragmatic, decisive, and in a bit of a rush, I consented to having my shoes replaced, figuring that the monetary value of a new pair of running shoes far surpasses that of depreciated TJ Max finds that could theoretically be replaced.

So the Australian guerrilla marketers took my shoes and took my picture in the team leader's funny plastic hat (but didn't have me sign anything consenting to its use, so I don't see how that does them any good)and sent me on my way to the bank.

I ran to the bank (which I would have done in whatever shoes) and managed to roll over my ankle due the unfortunate combination of new, unsupplemented running shoes and slippery dress socks. That made me regret my choice. Plus, I realized I would miss my cute sneakers, which served their own unique purpose (read: slip on) and could not be simply supplanted by these 768 things.

I felt better upon completing my errand (putting money straight into undeserving peoples' bank accounts, which I could have done from any state in the g'damn union had they seen fit to sanction it earlier, not that I am bitter, see locked post.) I also got free Starbucks Pike Place Blend coffee, which filled my quota of free-stuff-that-definitely-isn't-worth-it as opposed to free-stuff-that-gives-you-mild-second-thoughts (free donuts also belong in the latter category, in case you wondered.)

Returning to the office and the internetz, I gave myself good and bad news.
The bad news is that Skechers denies that it ever made the cute shoes I was wearing this morning, and the closest equivalent is $50, so the chances of me replacing them are pretty slim.
The good news is that the New Balance 768's are both a highly anticipated recent update to shoe technology and a $90 value. So I figure I win, though I'll be saving these running shoes until my current (expensive, three-month-old) ones wear out.

Um, this post has been brought to you by New Balance, caffeine, and the hyphen { - }

Attack of the Good News

Ready? In no particular order...

- I'm drawing the cover for the Ye Olde Playhouse of Pain showcase program. I set myself the difficult task of foreshortening something. Foreshortening is haaard I've discovered I can do very well in two hours what a true artist can do very well in 20 minutes...but it does get done. Plus, I love art & crafts by trail & error.

- My lovely sallelite housemate A made me an "angry mix." It starts with Sum 41's "Fat Lip" and goes from there. Only a quick pull of the headphone jack separates my cowokers from streams of obsenity. A, you crazy bitch- you muthafuckin rule!

- Speaking of work...free half a really good chicken sandwhich. Thanks, Corporate America! HOM nom nom nom nom...

- Sandman count: 5 down, 4 to go. I'll tally my thoughts when it's all over but, for now, I'm very much enjoying the ride.

- I'm awake! I have no right to be on the high I'm on right now because I haven't slept. Must remember that the iced coffee from the downstairs restaurant is magical...

- This summer I'll be dramaturging According to Tip for New Rep. A good thing too, because all of my old politic textbooks were feeling sad and neglected.

-I'm going to my mother's tonight. She has a $10 Starbucks gift card for me left over from some holiday, and this is the stated reason I needed to come to her this week. Free coffee money! Also, she will watch Bos vs. NY with me.

- The Yale student's abortion-as-art project is (as I had hoped) a hoax. I can't be bothered with linkage but it's worth looking up if you haven't heard about it. My feelings about the whole debacle are visceral, not moralistic- but I say thank goodness it's not real for the sake of her own body and for the psyches of anyone else who has every needed to deal with abortion in a more thoughtful way.

- I plan to vacuum the apartment again this weekend. Believe me, this is good news.

Those are all the happy thoughts for now! All you travelling types stay safe and have fun!

UPDATE: Yet MORE happy...Passover not only takes people out of town, it also brings them back again! Fomer roommate Aaron and former satellite roommate Christi are coming in from NJ! I dance the dance of the pleased! :)
  • Current Music
    the angry mix