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Nov. 3rd, 2006 @ 03:05 am
Why Do I care? Its been over a month..and yet....I find out something new, which completely tears me apart again...I feel like throwing up right now, my stomache is turning, eyes getting all liquidy, and my arm shaking. I cant believe I still care about her...or about this whole situation. I am probably over reacting...or maybe I'm not...I dont know. It doesnt seem fair to have waited 6 months for someone to get over an abusive bf....to only have them wait a month after getting over me to move on to their next conquest... and to think, she told me she loved me..and I to her. Than to be told "just get over it, I got over you a long time ago", this is supposed to help...who do you think you are? You have no right to walk up to me and tell me to get over my own god damn feelings. They are mine, and really all I have control over. Don't walk up to soemone who you rudely/imaturely/foolishly broke up with and tell them that you are with some new great guy already who you met only a few weeks ago. That doesnt make anyone happy, it makes them feel like garbage, especially after they spent (perhaps wasted) nearly two years with you! After they put in so much sacrifice..losing ALL of their friends to make you happy! Don't you dare lecture me on my emotions...I know they are ill placed, I know they shouldnt exist, I KNOW these things! But, YOU should know NOT to treat a person in ways in which you dont want to be treated. If you are going to treat me like human garbage, to use me, make me wait, make me beg, make me suffer at your whim, dont expect a fucking chearful exuberance from me when you tell me you have a new boyfriend and he is great. I know you wont see this, and I am glad. I know others will see this, and I am sorry. My emotions are mixed right now, a mixture of furious anger, and extreme sadness.

I'm sorry to you who I grew to ignore over the years...both in your advice..as well as your actions. I was wrong to ignore those who truly cared about me, and to turn my backs on them. I knew that it was wrong, I have no true excuse, other than that I know, and knew that no one would get along with each other, so I attempted to space people out. But by doing so...I ignored the majority, and only focused on the one. *Sigh* Mistakes we make in youth, I may only hope that these mistakes are not repeated too often. I hope to see you all again, and to not feel too awkward.

Sorry for the long winded letter of self pitty. I am such a drama king tonight...But it's ok, because..I needed to vent, I needed to express myself in some way that windows cannot destroy if it crashes. I needed...an outlet for my emotions tonight, and this is what this silly damn thing is for. (OH AND BTW I FEEL LIKE I AM IN HIGH SCHOOL...) Maybe that is because the person I dated acted like it too..

Jun. 8th, 2006 @ 12:44 am
1 down in the "war on terror" http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5058304.stm
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has been caught and killed in iraq. Wow, didnt believe it when I heard it...

Apr. 27th, 2006 @ 03:40 am
There is nothing better than listening to upbeat Cuban Music when you study! Its PURE BLISS! =D

Apr. 26th, 2006 @ 12:46 pm
I am not sure if this season..or last season of 24 is better! Gah....Amazing, a show in which conan really does blow up AF1!

Apr. 23rd, 2006 @ 10:25 pm
You Are 39% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!
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I hate the kids outside, on their homemade skate ramp...going on it for 2 hours now..can't study as it sounds like constant construction and deconstruction are occuring...*sigh*, I should pressure wash them with a hose...
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The listel refunded the 800 it took out of my account...and never charged me for the room...how interesting? :)
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Hurah! I am finally doing at least decent in a realistic portfolio scenario! I created a portfolio, realistic of $10k about..a week and a day ago. Within that period my portfolio, which is, I believe, properly diversified, has performed excellently, neting me a healthy 9.8% so far. Of the top winners in that portfolio lie, True Religion, up 9.35%, Jupitermedia Corp, up nearly 18% (with a stop at 20% and 15% gains) and the NYSE group, presently up around 16.2%. The companies in my portfolio are:
Of these businesses, we have two energy companies, a shipping company, financial group, media group, NYSE (financial I would assume) and a retailer/brand name. So, I would say that I am fairly decent as far as my diversification is concerned. Jason would probably know better then me (so I would appreciate your feedback). I dont believe that it is necessary to have 20 or 40 equities as some say, and, while bonds are profitable, if I can turn a 20% profit in two weeks with little risk (based upon research and other factors) I might as well do that instead of 4% gains in a year. While the latter is obviously more stable, less risky, and better...I prefer the short gain, and while I am in the lowest tax bracket as is, I dont worry much about cap. gains tax. This isnt real though, I wish it was haha, but thats ok. Practice makes perfect.
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How come some people just fit into steriotypes perfectly? Accross from me, is a heavy breathing, angry looking slob of a man, he has food stuck to his unshaven face and lips, eyes are set a little bit under his brow, however the bone juts out, overshadowing them. His hair is unwashed (perhaps for days), not long, but not short, probably a MO look, like from the three stoges. He continuously looks over at me, I don't know why, often breathing heavily and making strange grunting/warthog sounds... He is lounging back....letting it all hang out, and picking his nose at the moment. EWW! He ate it.. :-\. Some people..they just..fit it to the T.
I realize this is random..and somewhat mean, but I had to vent as I was tired of him looking over here and giving me strange looks like I was his next meal.
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