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Sunday, November 7th, 2004

Subject: And now, a list.
Time: 10:55 pm

//Firewalled against Angel

Seriously, he's spending ALL his time trying to get info out of invisichick. And for some reason, I'm not allowed up there. Seriously, if I had some alone time with that thing, I'd make her spill. Oh, yes. Yes I would.

Since that is, apparently, not happening any time soon...

Top 10 Reasons Why My Vibrator is a Better Boyfriend than My Boyfriend
10) My vibrator does not spend all of its spare time angsting and brooding in a dark room.
9) When its power winds down, all I need to do is change its batteries.
8) My vibrator is selfless. It only gives and gives and gives and never expects anything in return. Which is good because my boyfriend can't actually GET anything in return.
7) No worry about fangs or blood games.
6) My vibrator is always there for me and is never too busy, nor is it too tired. And it certainly never has a headache.
5) No need to worry about the undead syphillis.
4) Three words: Cold. Dead. Seed.
3) No fear of my vibrator going evil.
2) Attachments!
1) It has multiple speeds as opposed to just "quickie".

//end firewall

Wow! Current events are wacky, aren't they? I long for the simpler days... admittedly, in the simpler days, I was alive and often being forced into bearing demonspawn, but hey. Can't have everything.

22 comments :: leave a comment

Thursday, September 30th, 2004

Subject: ...
Time: 12:32 am

You know, it's funny. I came back from SF with some sourdough and I was going to make a sandwich and I turned around to grab some condiments and it was gone. Now, I know that Dennis doesn't eat anything and neither does Illyria, really... and Angel tends not to....


4 comments :: leave a comment

Sunday, September 26th, 2004

Subject: Brief Note.
Time: 7:03 pm

Dear Angel,

Going to SF for a few. Will be back later with Sourdough Bread.

Even though I don't eat, that doesn't mean that I don't like to. Unlike some people that shall remain nameless.


Crystals and Tears!


9 comments :: leave a comment

Friday, September 17th, 2004

Subject: Um... crap.
Time: 1:52 am
Mood: worried

Well, for a change of pace, we did not have any demons to slay, today. Instead, we had a murder investigation. Petite blonde girl. Kinda reminded me of that sacrificial virgin a while back... Reports indicate that the murder was of the demony variety.

But, um, when we reviewed the security tapes.... well, they weren't complete. But we did see....

Well... a certain someone was with the body.

I'm currently refraining from judgement as there is obviously a lot of stuff we're missing, but, um... it doesn't look too good.

Has, um, anyone seen Connor, recently?

Recently, as in, since yesterday?

1 comment :: leave a comment

Wednesday, September 15th, 2004

Subject: Note to self: Do not drink the 42 oz Mountain Dew right before bed. (Don't ask.)
Time: 2:23 am
Mood: Over-caffeinated

Dear Livejournal:

Today was a fun day. It was a wonderful day. It started out normally with Dennis and our daily exfoliation ritual. It then continued with a muffin and coffee. Yum. Breakfast. You don't really appreciate breakfast until you don't actually need to eat, anymore. Go figure.

After that, I had a fun day of lounging around the office and trying to will visions to come to me. "Oh!" I would think to myself, "Please let me foresee some poor innocent becoming brutally mauled to death by some vile creature so that my friends and I can prevent it!"

Failing that, Xander and Harmony showed up at my door complaining about lots of tiny demons that had unionized. Yeah, okay. That works, too. And I got Angel and with a rallying cry of "Forsooth, we must leave post haste!" we were off to slay the viscious little demons of DOOM!

Oh, and lo for there was fighting! Us against the demons. Xander verbally assaulting Angel. Xander being verbally assaulted by I! It was truly glorious. Then, when hark, what should occur but random maulings of US by the little demon things! So startled was I, that I promptly glowed and my bright incandescence illuminated the room and all the little demon things were so startled by my brilliant presence that they promptly fell over dead! Oh, JOY AND RAPTURE!

And there was much rejoicing. Except by Xander who decided that then would be the ideal time to go blind as no one ever told him to never stare directly at bright objects when he was a child. Henceforth, he shall be forced to wear yon Ray Bans whenever within 20 feet of mine most amazing and magnificent self.

It was a good day.


15 comments :: leave a comment

Monday, September 13th, 2004

Subject: Sympathy cards....
Time: 12:46 pm

//firewalled against Cole and Morri

Damn you, Hallmark. Why do you not have cards that read, "Our deepest sympathy and regrets over the loss of your wife. May you soon be able to find happiness and bliss with the woman that is currently carrying your love-child."

Okay, um, guess we'll have to go with this one.

Blessed are those who mourn; for they shall be comforted.
—Matthew 5:4

I will not tack on the obvious part. I will not tack on the obvious part.

I am sorely tempted.

//end Firewall

God dammit. Can SOMEONE get La Blue Girl a hobby? She's been following me around ALL WEEK!

It's creepy.

8 comments :: leave a comment

Monday, August 30th, 2004

Subject: Dear God
Time: 10:04 pm

David Hasselhoff.

Remember the good old days? When my life was NORMAL? Yeah, those were...

...really boring, now that I think of it.

11 comments :: leave a comment

Saturday, August 28th, 2004

Subject: Oh, yay. A Vision.
Time: 11:33 pm

I love these! We need to go to North Hollywood. There's an evil nasty doing some deep soul sucking.


I claim the sword!

22 comments :: leave a comment

Friday, August 20th, 2004

Subject: I hate packing.
Time: 9:52 pm
Mood: busy

Packing sucks.

You never realize just how much stuff you have until you try to stuff it into a million boxes. And then when it doesn't fit, you end up trying to put some stuff in some other stuff in an attempt to consolidate room. But then you get frustrated by it all and end up throwing, like, half of your stuff out only to replace it with even more stuff once you get to where you're going.

It's a vicious and horrible cycle.

A cycle of stuff.

I hate packing.

27 comments :: leave a comment

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004

Subject: Well, that's one question answered.
Time: 9:35 pm

And... I think I just found Dennis.

Morrigan? I need a lift. You willing to, um, teleport me - or whatever it is that you do - to Cleveland for a bit?

We have a ghost to pick up.

6 comments :: leave a comment

Tuesday, August 10th, 2004

Subject: Um...
Time: 9:43 pm
Mood: worried

Has anyone "seen" Dennis around?



I wanted to talk to him and he's NOWHERE to be found. DENNIS! Where ARE you? Come out right this instant and I'll let you do that thing you like to do with the loufa?


Oh, something here isn't right AT ALL.

2 comments :: leave a comment

Thursday, August 5th, 2004

Subject: Well, I'll be durned.
Time: 11:00 pm
Mood: nervous

Apparently, I have fen. That's kinda neat. I never realized that I had fen. I knew I had cultists.... Hello, fen! If you would like an autographed 8X10, I can arrange it! Really! (Or maybe not. That might get kinda weird. Especially considering that some of these photos are kinda... slutty.)

I guess it's been awhile since I posted here. I *was* planning on making a post a few days ago about a weird dream I had where I was in Baltimore surrounded by a bunch of people dressed as Japanese Schoolgirls and video game characters and Connor was there but he was wearing a dress and had angel wings and a halo and it was all very very weird, but I never ended up getting around to it. And some guy was there that SOUNDED like Angel but he looked nothing like Angel and kept calling himself Squall. Oh well. (I will never eat sushi before bed ever again. Ever.)

As it is, I've been kinda busy. I have my new identity and everything. From now on, I am officially... hear this... Maeve Jameson.


Hello, yes, I am now my coworker's dead sister that isn't actually legally dead. Talk about awkward. I know I asked for this to be speedy, but still. ODD.

But at least it's still an identity. And with an identity... that means I can do some things that I've been meaning to do for a while, now. Or, not actually a while, but for long enough, anyway.

I'm dreading the conversation that I'm going to be having about it all, later....


11 comments :: leave a comment

Tuesday, July 20th, 2004

Subject: ...
Time: 5:33 pm
Mood: Disgusted


Michael Jackson is having four more children.

Clearly, this is a sign of the apocalypse.

It doesn't matter how many different ways The Powers come up with to keep him from breeding, he keeps finding ways around them!

And then he gets multiples!

Ugh, I need to go clean out my brain with a vat of bleach.

15 comments :: leave a comment

Thursday, July 15th, 2004

Subject: Oh look! It's power! We have it back!
Time: 12:21 am

The camels were a dead giveaway. So, we all showed up at the local cable office and lo and behold, there was Harmony!

Apparently, she was punishing us because we didn't appreciate her and her new position or something. Seriously, ALL THAT because we didn't appreciate her enough.

So, I told her that she did good for herself. It was what she wanted to hear. And poof, she said she'd get right on getting our utilities back.

Thank God. Though I don't know what we're gonna be doing about that livestock.

Shame that there aren't any sheep here. I'd know where to send them.

10 comments :: leave a comment

Friday, July 9th, 2004

Subject: Grr...
Time: 11:54 pm

First no cable and now no water? Utilities? Oh, there's something going on around here, all right.

Until then, Cole has been a dear and offered to let me use his shower. Thank goodness. We can't have me being too dirty, now can we?

4 comments :: leave a comment

Thursday, July 8th, 2004

Time: 11:32 pm

5 comments :: leave a comment

Tuesday, July 6th, 2004

Subject: Not much to say and a million things to say all at once.
Time: 8:55 pm
Mood: blah

Sometimes you can't put things into words, no matter how hard you try, because words won't do them justice.

So, instead, you either say nothing or blather on about something else entirely.

//firewalled against Angel

Awkwardness with the not-quite ex-boyfriend is probably worse than awkwardness with an ACTUAL ex-boyfriend. He's weird around me... as a result, I'm weird around him. I don't like it, dammit.

//end firewall

Have been, uh, *bonding* with Illyria. I really don't quite know what to make of her. The whole looking like Fred thing is creepy, but then I think that at least Fred would be glad to know that her body wears anime boots. (Fred was weird.) And there's absolutely NO comprehension of how to relate to people on Illyria's part (though, Fred has been known to have similar problems at various points) but parts of me are incredibly amused by her penchant for violence. And I admire Illyria's ability to say exactly what she's thinking - a trait I value. It would be nice, however, if said thought didn't always involve entrails and eyeballs.

Basically, since Spike left and she'd been spending all of her time staring mournfully at the plants, I promised that I'd help her find a new pet. Problem is, she wants a pet that she can abuse, which means that kittens and puppies are pretty much out of the question, and I refuse to let her adopt a stray demon and keep it in the hotel. Gotta admit, Spike was good for something: Being a pet who WILLINGLY wanted to get the crap beat out of him while still being able to take the punishment and that wouldn't trash the Hyperion or mess up the rug.

Note to self: Annoy Cole about getting me a new identity. Do that this week. NO MORE PROCRASTINATION. WANT TO SHOP - and do something else.

25 comments :: leave a comment

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004

Subject: You know what?
Time: 7:25 pm
Mood: chipper

//firewalled against Angel

I'm of two minds on this.

On one hand, good, I never liked her anyway.

On the other hand, I feel bad that Angel was dumped.

First hand wins! Yay my boobs! My boobs rock. (And I always knew he thought so. Had a habit of buying me gifts that emphasized my cleavage.)

//end firewall.

Things to do:

1) Get identity.
2) Get identity.
3) Get identity.
4) Get identity.
5) Get La Blue Girl something to hit as she is going stir-crazy without a Spike to punch.

8 comments :: leave a comment

Saturday, June 12th, 2004

Subject: BWA!
Time: 11:37 am

//firewalled against everyone in the Hyperion.

Heh. If he thinks that having a fight with Nina was the most horrible thing ever, then he's going to HATE this.

I am taking a hint from one of my anons and selling Angel's Stingray on

He loves that Stingray.

Picture under hereCollapse )

No one chastises me when I did nothing wrong. I still say that Bitch totally deserved it.

//end firewall

Now, where was I?

Dear Lindsey,

Get a haircut. I know this may disappoint you, but mullets aren't EVER coming back.




7 comments :: leave a comment

Subject: Well, that was fun.
Time: 12:17 am
Mood: angry

Bitch. Angel brought his little ho to the hotel tonight.

She completely had it coming to her. Hell, just by BREATHING, she had it coming to her.

Cat fight. Dog fight. Doesn't matter. She's the one that's ripped and bloodied and I think... yes, that IS a chunk of her hair on the floor, there.

There is no messing with one Cordelia Chase.

12 comments :: leave a comment