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Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
4:49 pm - in a day
mood: hungry
music: solidier in a box - hot hot heat

the end.


Thursday, September 8th, 2005
11:29 pm - open to offline friends?
mood: sleepy
music: bandages - hot hot heat

yes i am still alive. i've been roaming around myspace, you're still not forgotten! we got our film shown at media night yesterday, we were one of the three chosen of year 11's to have ours shown!

anyway, i've been contemplating on giving an offline friend my lj url... wise move? i know i can use 'friends only' but i'm comfortable with it open to public eyes except for people i know in person. i like the idea of just having random friends across the globe. maybe i should open a new account just for offline friends with no strings attatched to this at all... hmm.

seen the new video clip of
'the ghost of you' by mcr

i think i should wash my hair.


Monday, August 29th, 2005
11:45 pm - mother and fish
mood: pumped (as in excited.. for the weekend, that is)
music: call me - blondie

we got a new shower curtain and i seriously got a shock when i saw it. i don't know what is up with my mum and fish swimming around in the ocean. first my bedroom curtains (which i absolutely had no say in) and now the shower curtains? fish in the bathroom just makes more sense though.

i left a 1000 word legal studies essay two days prior to the due date.. and i gave up on it an hour ago with the false believe i'll skratch an A. i'll probably have to take the first few periods off tomorrow morning to complete it and have it ready for submission by wednesday. i've been really busy, not really really stupid.. well maybe a bit.

after wednesday school stress dies temporarily, on friday i'm going shopping with harding to find a this years formal dress (for myself, hah) but i won't be trying anything on -just having a browse, because i don't want to bore him and embarass myself with fittings, indecisiveness, my pickiness, budget, etc. i have to help him chose a tie best suited to the dress (if he skrews up my photos i'll have to shot him). it was his idea to come colour coordinated. no one else's partner thought of that. bestestest partner ever! i'm thinking fluro hot pink. hahaha.. erm no, not that mean.

i'm finally feeling creative again. after weeks of being creatively drained and blank all these design ideas are pouring into my brain.. from web and graphics, to fashion and craft and to my traditional drawing. i miss this feeling so! i just need time to gather it all and make something.

i'm on the hunt for icons. can't really be bothered making my own and so many people here are amazing at icons, so i'll borrow others. i also want to extend my vocabulary.

ps. apparantly i'm a bogan. HAHA.
define:bogan in google:
"(Bogan) is Australian (especially teenage) slang for someone who is not `with it' in terms of behaviour and appearance, someone who is 'not us'; hence, someone horrible, contemptible."

the world now suddenly makes sense.


Friday, August 26th, 2005
5:22 pm - stereotype survey
mood: creative
music: i touch myself - jack off jill

gees. i hate is when poeple try to pick up online. nothing completely wrong with it because i've heard of marriages due to internet relationships, but i hate it when people try to pick you up online. i get randoms adding me on msn expecting me to end the conversation with an "i luv u 2", but instead getting a completely different reply basically saying "who the fuck are you again?". anyway, i'm not one of those who are interested in online relationships with strangers who only see you through your jpegs/video files and hear you through your writing/audio files. it's not enough and it's (usually) not enough to make someone feel that way towards you. i find the best way to meet someone special is face-to-face, not through a monitor. i don't know, that's just my opinion. but then again, i'm not totally critisizing it, as i said, it's worked before. for others though, and rarely i'm sure.

friday night. well saturday morning now. nothing to do. 12.19am down here in australia. i think i'll go and read harry potter now. i'm working 11 - 7.30 tomorrow. long ass shift. stop. full. stop. p. ing.
btw, newly discovered band i'm listening to at the moment. good stuff, man i love discovering new unknown bands- whether they're from today or years ago. don't you? what's the most recent band you've discovered and how?

The Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?: yes
Do you party a lot? How often?: sometimes it depends on the time of year, almost every second week..
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?: no
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: not often
Do you skip classes? How often?: no
Do you steal?: no
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: define inappropriate clothing..
Do you drool over celebrities?: not anymore
Do you watch a lot of TV?: not a lot
Do you ever watch the News?: all the time
Do you even care about world issues?: yes
Do you read books often?: yes
Are you failing a lot of your classes?: i'm a nerd so no
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: not most of my time
Do you smoke cigarettes?: no
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at 7-11s?: the city.. so malls then
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: not at the moment. i haven't had a crush in ages but when i did i'd fall for almost every second guy i'd meet.
Do you cuss a lot?: yes
Are you desperate to fit in?: in a way, yes.
Are you intelligent?: i'd like to think so

The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?: no
Black eyeliner?: definitely
Black eyeshadow?: sometimes.. yes
Black trenchcoat?: no
Black boots?: no
Black fishnets?: for that pimp & hoe party i went to, but otherwise never
Black nail polish?: if i had them, yes. i still love my red best.
Cigarettes?: no
Heavy metal music?: yes
Marilyn Manson?: no
Kittie?: what?
Cradle of Filth?: don't know. no.
Constant frown and perpetual angst?: no, lol
Do you like to be seen as: seen as what? and i dunno!
Are you an intellectual?: i'm not sure
An atheist?: no
Horrible home life?: not always
Hopelessly depressed?: at times
Suffering with suicidal idealities?: lol.. what me? no
Self-mutilation?: what? hahaha

The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?: ..huh?
Big black boots?: no.. i said no to black boots before! but i want some nice leather chocolate ones from my vogue mag.. lol
Mohawk?: won't suit me, but they're totally hot!
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]: no
Loud, confident and opinionated?: yes, in a way
Wild hair colors?: fo'shoa!
Rancid?: no
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: dunno

The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?: not sure
Do you watch a lot of sports?: no
Play a lot of sports?: lmao no.. only the olympics 8)
Talk a lot about sports?: why? no
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: i don't even think about it. not once. never.
Are you arrogant?: yes
Are you a male or female whore?: female... "whore"
Are you homophobic?: no
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: no
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: not reaaally
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?: no.. no thanks. i already work at kfc.. god no.

The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearance?: yes!!
Have you ever been on a diet?: several times. healthy eating starts tomorrow! pffft
How much did you lose?: 3 kilos.. but gained it when i gave up.
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?: no, it was diet for sure. i'll try eating disorder sometime..
Make yourself throw up?: i'm having thoughts of doing this, haha.. i'd be too scared though
Make-up?: always. only at school & home i dont wear..
Low-cut tops?: yep
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: well.. i wouldn't know if i didn't realize it would i?
Giggle a lot?: yes
What's the deal with boys?: i go to a catholic all girls school and i honestly suck with boys.
Pretty bras?: yes, lacy & cute ones. i spend heaps on my bras.
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?: we don't have those mags in aus, but i've grown out of young tb mags.. i read vogue, russh, yen, marie claire, cleo & cosmopolitan
Who's the weaker sex?: i dunno. both in their own ways i guess.
Are you a feminist?: in ways
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: no, not really. he can look hot but nah
How often do you shave your legs?: i'm too lazy to at the moment. they need shaving, haha
How about your armpits?: not often, lmao.. it's cold down here so i won't need to in a while.
Are you emotional?: yes

answer at least one of these questions in your comment(s)


Friday, August 19th, 2005
10:19 pm - skip and stomp, little girl
mood: sleepy
music: golden slumbers - the beatles

she just fell down in the dirt. just fell down in the dirt, like giant with a big foot just came along and stepped on her. just ump- ... like you'd step on an ant" -dill, to kill a mockingbird

ps. R.I.P mrs b


Friday, August 12th, 2005
7:46 pm - text messages
mood: confused
music: bolero (closing credits) - moulin rouge soundtrack

hey, how've you been?

good. whats up with you?

yeah, nothing much. same old. gotta catch up, haven't spoken to you in ages.

yeah that's cool. as long as you keep the things i tell you to yourself.

i honestly didn't realise i had done anything wrong until i read that last message. what did i do to upset her and stop her from talking to me? now i could have replied with a...

what? i don't know what you're talking about.. what do you mean?

but instead, still unsure i replied with...

yep. promise i will this time. i guess i owe you an appology for being a blabbing bitch. sorry.

now i don't know whether that was the right thing to do- owning up to something i wasn't quite sure. i'm basing that message on the fact that a few months ago i remember her catching me telling her cousin she had done something she regretted, which i had completely forgotten about until just recently.

no reply yet.

it'll be a long agonising wait to find out whether she's forgiven me or not. i'm not expecting her to if what i'm thinking i had done was the reason for all of this. it was a mean thing of me to do and i'm truly sory. hope i've made sense.

ps. does any one know of any eerie music? something musical/orchestra with no lyrics. preferrably suiting a murder scene of a film. this is for my media assignment (10 minute film), so it would be great if you help by recommending something (off a soundtrack of whatever). if possible, something which builds up tension but also nice to listen to, etc.


Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
5:18 pm - issues
mood: depressed
music: darkness surrounding - avenge sevenfold

i'm exetremily angry, so don't read if you're looking for something pink, light and fluffy.

everyone in my family hates me at the moment and i fucking hate them back with passion. i'm the one screws everything up, it's always my fault, i'm so irresposible, i'm forgetful, i'm extremily useless, i'm so stupid.. there's always something fucking wrong me! no matter how hard i try i'm never bloody good enough. they said they didn't raise me to be the way i am. i swear i'm going to need therapy and couselling and shit with the way they make me feel. they love to make me hate. fuck 'em.

today was a shitful day. by far the worst i've had in a long, long time. raining, cold, slept in, told off.. nagging... came to school late. i was given a warning saying that if i didn't have a note for my lateness i'd be given the new "red card" for a detention. fucking system. i borrowed the camera forgetting to let my dad know i was bringing it to school (would he have let me if i told him i'd bring a $600 camera there?) and he called up during class. i quickly turned off the phone because it wasn't on silent. in 5 minutes the receptionist ran into class with a note for me: "call dad immidiantly during recess. urgent!"
so yes, i did.. he started cursing, swearing and yelling at me. he said he'd never let me use it without permission from him. he was overreacting so i hung up.
when mum picked me up there was more nagging but i couldn't help answering back. when we got home she recieved a letter saying i had failed to return chocolate drive money which was due two months ago then she got even more vicious. i didn't know who to give it to and i didn't want to ask some teacher cause then they'd be like "why haven't you returned it yet? that's not very organised" and shit like that, i just expected it to be deducted from school fees.

im normally i'm a happy person but now i'd me hate as a daughter. see? these are the litte things they make you feel. all the time. one day i'm gonna explode.


Monday, August 8th, 2005
4:10 pm - cameras, no school & fashion mags
mood: motivated
music: nuite blanche - viva la fete

i got a new digital camera. it's the size of my palm! and this means i can be a cool kid like you guys and take heaps of random photos for lj friends and passerbyers.

note to people who love art and fashion (mainly fashion though):
Hint Fashion
. i had a ball with the designer eye candy, check out the ideas they have at the archives. for the past few weeks i was creatively drained but after checking out heaps of online fashion & design mags and labels, from clicking one link to another.. you gets stacks of inspiration. highly recommended ;)

i also just found out i have a day off school on friday. god bless midterm breaks. so.. plans for my long weekend...
FRIDAY: Going to the city to do some badge making (10c a mini badge!), lunch and seeing sin city with spence, alyssia and little one. maybe. or i could be smart and stay at home and try to get ahead of (if not catch up with) school work.
SATURDAY: work 11.00 - 8.00
SUNDAY: work 10.30 - 8.00 (fuck..)

ps. yes, i do love electro music (from tencho/dance/trance and whatever the hell is the genre of music which i'm listening to now- good catwalk music) oh and healthy eating starts tomorrow, no junk goes into my mouth without thinking twice.


Friday, August 5th, 2005
5:24 pm - im hungry
mood: happy
mood: hidden track - from first to last

yes please, quinn <3


Saturday, July 30th, 2005
1:35 am - escape
mood: sleepy
music: the everlasting gaze - smashing pumpkins

oh god i need a life. it revolves too much around my social life at the moment and i know i'm much more deeper than spoiling myself with matialistic expenses, racing with fashion and getting with pathetic little boys at parties. i need space, i don't quite now what for but i want to do something different. i've been trying to escape through my art which is working quite well.

speaking of art, my painting "eve" got sent off for the charity piece auctioning this morning. bidding starts at $200 for all art. man, are they getting jibbed or what?




my character is chloe russel. influenced by the designer label chloe and the stuff toy label russ. genious.


Friday, July 22nd, 2005
11:48 pm - hello potential friend?
mood: irritated
music: friday night - the darkness

why didn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?
he had no guts.

it's funny how time goes faster when it knows you have heaps of important things to do. bitch. i have a hugeass legal studies assignment due next week which is 30% of my total semester mark as well as a painting to start which has to be sent off for darn auctioning by next friday. urgh. URGH. on the upside i have 2 friends. wanna be one? don't be too ashamed to say hi and i'll most likely add you.
today i shopped til i flopped and i have a hair appointment in the morning. i'll show you the photos of the debutante i'll be attending tomorrow if my camera's charger decides to show itself. i know i said i'd intoduce myself for this entry, but that was til i discovered the user info page. tch.

something random: give me a believable excuse to escape a lame, time-consuming conversation on the phone.. and i'll love you forever.


Thursday, July 21st, 2005
11:33 pm - take one, darling
mood: lazy
music: cemetary drive - my chemical romance

as i want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and sleep, i'd best save my introduction for tomorrow. i'm sure you'll look forward to reading about me seeing i have such an intersting life compared to yours (yes, you've read this far already i'm definitely talking to you). before i go, one thing you'll need to know before leaving this page is that i'm a my chemical romance obsessed, sarcastic shit who won't shut up and needs a blog in order to save my social life.

ps. and i love art. oh, and if you didn't know i'm a girl. my name's audrey.


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