Profiterole (_profiterole_) wrote,

Bleach Crack!Drabbles

I love Bleach. At first, it wasn't very interesting, with all the fights against the Hollows. But once the story moved to Soul Society, it became really good. This anime has lots of bishies and cool phallic symbols zanpakutou. My muse likes that a lot. So here are 3 crack!drabbles.

Bleach isn't mine, blah, blah.

Title: Zanpakutou
Characters: Ichigo, Renji, Byakuya
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100

Ichigo wasn't worried. He had already fought against Renji. He launched himself at the shinigami, brandishing his zanpakutou. "You can't win. Look how big mine is!"

Renji fended it off, smirking. "Size is not everything." Then, as Ichigo drew back, he called: "Roar, Zabimaru!" and his zanpakutou just grew and grew and grew until it reached Ichigo and injured his shoulder. Renji laughed: "Now, mine is much longer than yours!"

At that time, Byakuya arrived, majestic as ever. He looked down on them and released his zanpakutou: "You fools! Mine can turn into sakura petals. Just how gay is that?"

Title: Shi Kai
Pairing: Zangetsu/Ichigo (I told you it was crack ;-) )
Rating: R
Word Count: 100

"Call my name," the mysterious man asked.

"But I don't know it," Ichigo answered.

"My name is ..."

It was useless, Ichigo couldn't hear it. And yet, he needed to know the name. He felt he was getting closer. The tall dark man was stroking his cock faster now and Ichigo was losing himself in the sensations. That was all he could do in this upside-down world: losing himself. And he was so close...

"Now, you should be able to hear my name. I am Zangetsu."

It was right in time. Ichigo screamed the name as he finally reached orgasm.

Title: Ban Kai
Pairing: Zangetsu/Ichigo (because my muse seems to really enjoy that)
Rating: R
Word Count: 100

"Hurry up to find my true form," Zangetsu declared.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying. But all these zanpakutou... I'm young. This is arousing!" Ichigo replied.

"Oh! Maybe I should do something about it..."


"But we are not alone."

"Oh, don't mind Yoruichi-san. Maybe she'll stop pushing herself on me after that. She doesn't want to understand that I am gay!"

So Zangetsu kneeled in front of his master and began sucking his cock.

"Zangetsu..." Ichigo moaned.

When she saw that, Yoruichi was so shocked that she turned back into a cat, her hair standing on end.
Tags: bleach, fic

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