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you gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

Jul. 23rd, 2009 | 09:56 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated
music: fall for anything- the script

i'm annoyed. i want to move. not because of my family but because i want to be in a completely new surrounding. like i want new friends, new places to go, a new job, new everything. preferably new york cause thats the city that holds my heart. my friends here don't feel real, like yeah maybe a select few but even they sometimes let me down. but doesn't everybody at times? whatever. i'm literally just writing everything down that comes to my mind. i hate wanting to do something and then nobody else wants to, or when they want to it's at a really inconvenient time or something. i can't just do things alone, but believe me i'd probably have a lot more fun that way. like just go and do everything i've ever wanted to do and i'd guarantee i'd be doing most of that stuff alone cause nobody else would want to. i feel like it's hard for others around my age to relate to me because i don't drink or smoke or take drugs and i'm into just having plain old fashioned fun, doing stuff that doesn't hurt my body in any way. like yeah, i don't mind going to a party, those are fun! i'm not gonna deny that but it always seems like around here if you're gonna party it means getting wasted off your ass and having to stay somewhere because you're too drunk to drive home. get yourselves together! and i feel like i can have 4050669309000 friends but which of them really matter? i mean my 3 closest friends didn't even live near me during the majority of my recent college years. 2 of them were in boca and my best friend was in tallahassee. and so i had a group of people i'd hang out with during the school year but all that came out of that group was drama and 'fun' that wasn't actually fun. i just feel so frustrated that i want to scream! i want to change people and make them be REAL, make them be trustworthy and caring and actual good friends. whatever happened to friends who would actually be there for you? i feel like nowadays people are your "friends for now" or your friends when it's convenient. i don't even know if any of this makes sense to whoever is reading it but like i said i'm just typing whatever comes to my mind. you know what i really want? a bunch of money. to be a billionaire and just go travel the world and see new things and buy whatever i want and stay wherever i want and just meet new people and live new experiences. wow that'd just be amazing. like going to different cities and tourist spots and just taking advantage of all of them?! like going to all the hot spots in each city, wow that'd be amazing. i want to travel the world. but i say that and then when i have the chance i don't do it because what i really want is to see these things on my own yet have my family right by me just to know theyre there. im so attached. so attached. i love my family more than anything. i can be more annoyed with them than ever but i still want them near me because they are my home. they are my life. i cant be far away from them for too long. if i am i'll get anxious and need them near me instantly. call me a baby, i don't care, i want them there. oh i thought of something else- people who can't accept others for how they are. like there will be people who make fun of me for being 20 and still liking disney channel celebrities.. wow seriously live your own life and get the hell out of mine. don't call me weird or childish or whatever else you think about it cause i don't care- you're not the one paying them any mind so why care if i do? i'm not ashamed of liking what i like- it's who i am; since when was there an age limit as to when you had to stop being interested in something? i mean i can understand being a 50 year old man and lurking 16 yr old disney stars, but come on. ahhhh people annoy me. like so so so so so so so so much. i really want cable in my room. im tired of having to go to alex's room anytime i want to watch tv. and even then i mostly have to accomodate to what she wants to watch if she's home. i could go to the family room but then mom would be out there on the computer and that'd be annoying. and i dont want to watch in my parents room cause that's just weird. i don't know i just want one in my room so i can be comfortable, you know? yeah. i'm listening to the script right now. explain to me why they're so awesome? oh dear God if i had an endless amount of money i'd probably be at a concert every night. honestly if i had a lot of money i'd just be spending it every day which isn't a good thing. ok i'm still super frustrated but i don't know if i want to keep typing. i want to watch the 16&pregnant reunion but alex is watching big brother on her tivo. of course i have to wait. of courseeee. im actually really pumped to start school this semester. like really excited. i mean i'm not good in school or anything and i don't always make the effort that i should but i'm really pumped to go back. i cant really explain it, but i wanna go back. i also want a new job, but that would require a place actually hiring, and that's pretty much...........no one. is it crazy that i was curl up into a ball and just either cry or scream in my bed right now? i'm really frsutrated right now. like really really and i don't really know why. i think i'm gonna be PMSing soon to be honest cause right now everything is annoying me and i kinda want to punch everything. i'm literally so bored right now i think i'm going to straighten my hair and put on makeup for no reason. it's 10:20. why am i so lame right now? ha i love it. ummmm should i really keep typing forever? who really cares, right, i mean nobody's going to read it anyway. alright i'm off bye.

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can we please just...?

Jul. 19th, 2009 | 01:17 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative

a: can we just please meet some new guys?
l: for real
a: is there some sort of place we can just go and strike up a convo? cause id like to go there. tonight.
l: for real. that'd be great.


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moving this hurrrrr.

Jul. 19th, 2009 | 11:28 am
mood: satisfiedsatisfied

apparently the main theme for the dreams i had last night was "famous people" because i had a crazy amount of dreams involving famous people.

the first one was that i went to the movies with karleigh & katie santry (http://youtube.com/ksantry918) ...this probably sounds so creepy on my part if they ever read this, but i guess i can't control my dreams. but here's a good part- Rob Pattinson came with us! He was really nice in my dream and we bought Icee's and he took pictures with some fans. but kinda weird, the movie we chose to watch was Twilight4. which would be...Breaking Dawn, i believe? But i thought was odd cause why would he agree to watch his own movie?

The next dream involved me watching Aubrey Graham's livechat (actor from 'Degrassi', or now better known as Rihanna's boytoy/Rapper 'Drake') and i guess somehow we were friends? (yeah, apparently i'm friends will all these famous people...?) and so we started texting. and then i guess he was my 'friend' on Facebook and like he had a girlfriend.. (but in my dream i don't think it was Rihanna) and then ..this part is so lame, haha.. but he started telling me that when they got home from their date they were going to watch 'The Niley Movie' (he didn't know that I had made a youtube video of it, though, and I didn't tell him) and then he confessed that he loved High School Musical.... So strange!

Then I had a dream where I was staying in a hotel and DaveDays was with me? (http://youtube.com/davedays) [it's kind of weird, i rarely ever watch his videos..] and we were comparing phones and he had a tiny one and I showed him my blackberry. and then I was in this room asking for my luggage to be moved from the blue hallway movie theater(???) to my hotel room and the lady was being mean, but then I looked out the window and I saw MaryKate&Ashley Olsen in disguises trying to hide the fact that they were MK&A (but I knew better! haha) and so I pulled out my blackberry trying to get a picture but ofcourse in dreams you have a hard time accomplishing anything so my screen kept showing random pictures until finally I got a picture and then I saw more&more famous people like The Kardashians, the cast of Run's House, Billy Ray and some others.

Soooo, those were my veryy long, veryy 'famous-y' dreams! ..I should document all my dreams cause they are strange, let me tell ya!

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updation boredation lameation pointlessation.

Jul. 17th, 2009 | 12:47 pm
mood: calmcalm
music: demi lovato- catch me

amanda, lindsey & i went to cracker barrell & then shopping yesterday! i bought like 3 new items + 2 headbands + the august issue of elle magazine with miley cyrus on the cover... and spent lots of money which i'm not happy about, but they were on sale. so whatever. i really need a new job :) lol. this economy sucks though! =/

i think alex and i are going to go look for makeup brushes today, she needs to show me which to get since she is the makeup expert. & today's elle's chat but i can't make it since it'll be sabbath by the time she airs.

i'm hungry.. i should eat breakfast.

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scrabble slam & writer's block.

Jul. 15th, 2009 | 11:53 pm
mood: tiredtired
music: parachute- she is love

nicole, chrissy, lindsey & amanda just left my house. we played scrabble slam & uno & watched the real world :) i liked scrabble slam, it was fun, but a short game. i wish they had more cards. tomorrow amanda, lindsey & i are going out to lunch :) should be nice. i love my girlies.

@#^&@$% i'm supposed to write a new episode to 'as lovers go' but i feel so much pressure to make this one scene near perfect & i'm not ready to write it. or maybe i just don't have the desire to. lack of inspiration? i don't even know :( why can't i just write it? i'll try. eeeek okay, i will try.

oh yeah i did my live chat- the viewers must've hated me cause i was sooo boring. they all said i wasn't but i felt like i was, haha.

oh, on a completelyy random note- textsfromlastnight is so funny. definitely made my night today lol. hilarioussss.

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useless information, have fun reading.

Jul. 15th, 2009 | 12:37 pm
mood: hungryhungry
music: dashboard confessional- clean breaks

i'm supposed to go 'live' tonight at 6pm :/ to be honest i don't really want to, because i already did a live chat this week but i suppose i will do it again. ummmm i also want a good breakfast..or should i say lunch, but there's like not much to choose from right now. we need to go grocery shopping.

i signed up for my newspaper course. the school had to make me my own course number because it only offers college newspaper I&II but because this will be my third semester participating on the newspaper staff, they had to create a "newspaper III" course number for me. so my prof spoke to the secretary at the college and they worked it all out, so i signed up for it today. dad needs to fill out FAFSA.. i love financial aid :) it's a blessing.<3

have i mentioned that i love 'the script'? awesome awesome music. oh & dashboard, of course. they just played on my itunes. <3<3<3

okay i don't have much else to say (surprisingly!) i'm gonna go clean & stuff before the live chat & then my guests tonight.

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catching up like it's going out of style ;)

Jul. 15th, 2009 | 12:43 am
location: the room where i sleep, aka mine.
mood: pleasedpleased
music: wanted- jessie james. (idk why?)

woweeeee! i haven't updated this thing in such a long time. well, a year-ish, but that's a 'long time' to me. what has changed? well, i'm unemployed at the moment. not gonna lie, i'm actually pretty happy about that. i wasn't fired or anything, yet i didn't exactly quit- it just kinda happened. it was like it was just time for me to let go & take a break & i couldn't have asked for a more perfect time for that break. this was back in january, right after my new years trip to the city that holds my heart- NYC<3 . & so i focused on school & decided that was my top priority, got through the semester & now i am enjoying what's left of my summer before returning to my (can you believe this?!) THIRD year of college. WOW. i'm going to be a "junior". well, not exactly sure if they have ranks at community colleges but if there were then i'd be a junior!

i just chose my classes for the upcoming semester earlier this week- of course i will be working on the newspaper staff yet again (duh, who's annette if she's not on a staff? staffs have been my home since the 7th grade, i can't deal without them- it's like a part of who i am is missing.) i'm hoping to make the most of this semester's newspaper staff- peter will be gone (the old EIC) & i really don't want to take on the position of EIC only because i don't think it's a responsibility i want to take on just yet. i know Speere (the prof) would offer it to me in a heartbeat, or better yet appoint me it in a heartbeat- but i think i need to stick to reporting. i love writing. don't get me wrong, overseeing the staff is great, but last semester not writing really got to me. i felt like i needed to be, and my position wasn't to be a writer, so i didn't. i shall write this semester. i shall :)

i'm also taking up acting, haha. not, like, legit- but for fun. as an elective. good grief at 9:30am though. i told my sister this morning "the only real acting i'll be doing is try to stay awake". that's the truth, haha, Lord only knows if i'll actually be able to keep my eyes open. did i mention i'm not a morning person?

wow this is so weird, writing down my thoughts... i feel like i can go on forever. mainly i'm deciding to update today cause elle & i were chatting & we showed each other our old livejournals & i read back on my previous entries [i used to have soo many more but last year i went thru and deleted them cause i felt embarassed cause they were so pointless and i was just a high-schooler when i had written them... looking back now, i shouldnt have deleted them. those posts were what was going on in my life at the time & i could've looked back on them.. guess that's not an option anymore? note to self: do not delete posts, no matter how embarassing they are.... k lying, if they're super embarassing delete them, but for the most part, leave them- if only for the memories.]

um, twitter's taken off. it's so much fun. i loooove twitter. i could tweet tweet allll dayyyy looonggg. thank God for twitterberry on blackberry! oh, that's something else! i have a blackberry :) it's a sweet little thang, that bberry. but sometimes it acts up & i'm like, 'this is unestablished.' so yeah.

tomorrow i'm having friends over to play Scrabble SLAM. I just bought it this week cause me & amanda love Scrabble & we kinda freaked out when we heard about SLAM. k, more like we DID freak out. and we tried to buy it at walmart & target but they were both sold out the two times we went. not fairrrr :/ so i was at target the other day & ta-da! it was there! they had just restocked so it was like i hit the jackpot! woot :)

i think i'll update this thing more often. i really could keep typing, but for the sake of whoever reads this- i won't. leave 'em wantin' mo'. fa sho. yeaahhhh.

i should take up rapping, bye.

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support the WGA Strike!

Dec. 3rd, 2007 | 10:02 pm

write a letter to Jeff Zucker, President and CEO of NBC/Universal expressing your opinions on why you support the WGA Strike.

If you don't know anything about the TV writer's strike, basically they're upset because major networks like NBC will replay television shows through the internet and those writers won't be paid for it. yet, during those internet streamings of the tv shows, there are paid advertisements.. and who gets the profits from internet views?? the company, (ex: NBC) NOT the writers.
it's ridiculous!

I think it's important to support each and every writer out there.

i love to write and i can't imagine being robbed of my work by some major network.


send letters to:
Jeff Zucker
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112

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countdown to one tree hill season 5

Nov. 21st, 2007 | 11:34 am

8:00 pm- 10:00 pm
2 hour season premiere =)

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true story

Nov. 19th, 2007 | 09:08 am
mood: contentcontent

"being young is brutal, but the best part is you can change yourself. you can become what you will yourself to be. it's entirely easy if you just stop letting other peoples opinions dictate your actions. enjoy the challenge and in ten years you'll be everything you thought you could be. anyone who is doubting this is still living with fear in their heart" -dane cook

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