Tags: self-portrait

where is my mind


My computer has been acting weird lately. Maybe it's because this thing has been on nearly every day. I'm excited to see the end of this project for that reason alone. Turning this thing off for a straight week would do me some good, I believe.

I'm staying in because it is cold out and I'm tired. I need to save my money and I need to get some rest. I think this would be the perfect time to detox, ya know?

I know I look distorted in this, and I like it that way.
where is my mind


Primus has changed my life. I want to be the next Les Claypool, but I will be called Lis Playcool. I've always figured that the bass was my instrument. I've grown quite tired of playing guitar, I don't think it was meant for me. I thought it was funny that John and I dyed our hair red and black for Primus and Les Claypool was wearing red and black. We ran into quite a lot of people. Was everyone at Primus?! I think so. I think my favorite song of that night was when they preformed "Sgt. Baker."
where is my mind


I'm planning on taking a trip out to South Carolina in a few weeks. John and I are going to visit his sister at school and go see OK Go while we're there. I'm super excited about it. Never been to any of the Carolinas. Should be a great experience, I'm sure.

October is looking to be a very, very busy month for me. I hope I don't get any crap for taking several days off. Besides, I deserve it.
where is my mind


Yesterday, I visited the school that I will be showing at. The gallery was fairly small, with three walls for me to fill up. It was less intimidating than what I was expecting. It relieved a lot of the fears I was having and this should work out very well.

Afterwards, I headed to my parents house. I was helping them pack and move furniture into two Pod trailers that were sitting in the driveway. They sold their house and will be leaving for good on Monday. It was an incredibly sad day for me. I sat in my old room and went through boxes and boxes of random things I had stuffed away in the closet. I found my old softball gear and yearbooks and things that I hadn't really looked at in so long. That was my childhood house. I grew up there and lived there for 21 years. I will miss the beautiful flowers and plants my mother planted. Doing flips and handsprings down on the long front yard with the green grass under my feet. Playing basketball in the driveway. Playing roller hockey with my friends and neighbors in the street. Having birthday parties and sleepovers in the basement and in the backyard. Everything. All of these memories are flooding.

Try and pack 29 years away into boxes, you will realize it isn't so easy. I have never seen that house so empty before. It was quite a surreal feeling knowing that I will never step foot into that house again. It is actually, very overwhelming.

I guess the one part of the day that hit me hard was when I turned in my house keys to my mother. I didn't even want to give them up. I at least wanted some piece of the house that I could keep forever. Unfortunately, I must move on.

I will miss that house, most definitely. But, I realize this is a good thing. A good thing for my parents. And I'm really happy for them.

Today is a rainy day, quite fitting actually.
where is my mind


It's been a kind of interesting past few days. I wonder if it's because the fall season has started. The air seems a lot more different. The feel of every new day seems different. Maybe it's because I'm working more so than ever before. I'm practically at work everyday, so I see and hear a lot of interesting things. Now, I feel like I'm beginning to ramble on. Enough about work. Work is work, let it be work.

The inspiration for my gallery is really moving along. I'm beginning to buy the supplies I need and I have dreams about it even. I just like to imagine it the way I would like it to be. I hope the end product is what it looks like in my dreams.
where is my mind


I confined myself to my apartment today even though it was a lovely day outside. Hungover from last night. Drank way way too much. I had fun for the most part, but I definitely drank too much. Eeek. My head was pounding and I ended up taking, like, 3 naps throughout the day. So glad I was smart enough to request today off.

Eventually I worked up the energy to buy groceries and I made a very good dinner. I feel better about everything.
where is my mind


In my kitchen. The kitchen is probably one of my favorite places. This is where I cook my meals and chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes. Being in the kitchen is actually quite a therapeutic thing for me, seeing as how it's the one place that gets the dirtiest the quickest. I actually really enjoy cleaning.

I still have a lot of decoration things to do for this place. I hate that these cabinets are so boring and white. I've been going through a lot of my art recently. There are so many drawings and paintings that I would like to fix up now that I have come back to them; I can see where a lot of the flaws are. Don't you ever do that to your work? You look back on something that you drew/painted 2 years ago, and suddenly, you have a whole new take on it? I have a lot of work to do.

Do you have any questions for me? Ask them here.

I'm pretty sure I didn't get paid for one of the days that I had to come in and work. On my paycheck it said I had 20 hours, but I definitely know for sure that I had 24 hours because I went in early on Friday morning. Ugh, now I gotta get this all figured out. I thought my paycheck seemed unusually small for what I was expecting.
where is my mind


Yesterday at work I was given the opportunity by my manager to work in the grocery department. Said they needed an extra person to do code stuff, I really don't know what it entails, but apparently I will have to be incredibly thorough. That kind of scares me, but at the same time, I guess I wouldn't mind trying something different. After all, being a cashier can get very old, very quickly. Too many grumpy people to have to deal with. It amazes me sometimes how busy this store can be, even on a weekday.

So I will be going in on Friday morning, which now equals to 30 hours this week. I'm going to be rolling in the dough, my friends. Maybe not...
where is my mind


I'm in my new home. It feels lovely. The floors are nice. The bathroom is clean. The kitchen is decently sized and has a good number of cabinets. I'm extremely excited. I think John and I are going to explore a little today. Maybe buy some groceries. It's like a bizzaro south side out there. Looks the same, but feels completely different.

I somewhat have internet access. The reason I say somewhat is that some times it will cut out. There's not many unsecured networks around that I can mooch off of. Also, this internet is super, super slow and it took me a while just to upload this photo. But at least I will be able to upload photos here and there. Oh, and I took this photo last night, so I'm not cheating. Promise.

I changed the date of this photo to coincide with the project.
where is my mind


I'm not going to do what I did last time regarding when I was talking about the apartment I was so confident in getting, since we all know how that ended...but we looked at another place this afternoon. We liked it so much that we put money down on it, and we shall find out by Monday what the deal is with that place.

Everything went quite smoothly, and now we just need the owner's approval. We have good credit, jobs, etc etc. I don't see how this could fall through that is, of course, if the owner decides to give it to someone he knows. Then we're all just fucked.

My fingers are crossed that all works out well. So sick of looking for apartments. I just want it over with already. I want to transfer to another store already. Too much anxiety and frustration for me to handle.