Tags: self portraits

where is my mind


You could say that I'm a feminist. I'm not crazy, nor am I unreasonable. I certainly don't hate men or wish death upon them all. I guess I'm sick of men parading around like they're god and women subjecting themselves to how the media wants us to act, look, and feel. Every where I turn, every thing I hear, and see in adverts is women sexing it up. I'm so tired of it. Come on women! Why are we letting this happen? Why are we letting men control us and exploit our bodies? There are so many women in history who have done really courageous acts and who pushed the boundaries and made a change. And now, when I flip through the channels, I see shows like The Kardashians and The Bad Girls Club and other senseless shit. I can't pick up a magazine without a woman on the cover completely airbrushed to the point of not even looking real. Is this really how you like women to be portrayed? As money-hungry, fame whoring, catty and bitchy, self indulgent idiots? That we are so completely obsessed with diamonds and jewelry and other pretty, sparkly things? That we are so completely immersed in ourselves and our looks than to care about anything else?

I took a women in humanities class for my last class at college, and I really had learned a lot. About how women are exploited in the media and how they had such little say in the arts and religion in specific time periods. There weren't many records of women creating art or being involved with the church. These women weren't allowed to do anything. They weren't allowed to work, draw, paint, write, read, study, speak their minds, participate in church gatherings; instead they were expected to stay home and pop babies out of their uterus and allow their husbands to have multiple partners even if that was something they didn't want. They were seen as being subpar to men (and we still are!). They weren't even treated like humans.

It's really quite astounding to see how far along women have come. All the women who stood up for themselves and fought against injustices, you are my inspiration. I really wish we hadn't turned it into how it is now; women taking their clothes off in beer commercials, "cat fighting" for the sake of entertainment, over sexualized performers. You want to know who is behind these adverts and such; it's men! Let's not give them the satisfaction of accepting their misogynistic bullshit.

Ladies, when did we start becoming against each other? We should be sticking together and not resort to calling one another bitches and whores. If we want to be respected, we must first respect ourselves and each other. We can't possibly make a change for the better if we let others control us. Let's stand up for ourselves. Let's fight for our rights. Let's not let ourselves be manipulated by men. We hold the power. It is up to us to use it.
where is my mind


It is mind-boggling to me to see how much my photos have reached so many people. Since I started this 365 day project, I noticed that I gained many, many friends and contacts not only on Flickr, but LiveJournal, DeviantArt, and Tumblr. It feels really good. I'm happy that people are taking notice, and are seeing something in my work. It means a lot to me. So, I thank you all for the encouraging words and for listening to me and befriending me. I'm happy to appease you and inspire you. This is why I do this!

So, I am completely on top of the world. No one can bring me down. Today, I went up to the north side with CiCi and the boyfriend, to check out this apartment. CiCi found it on Craigslist and informed me about it, and I immediately fell in love even just by looking at the pictures. It's a bedroom, pretty spacious, and cheap as hale! It is a steal! It's right by the beach and in a very lively part of town. It is absolutely perfect.

Seeing this place in person made it even more clear to me that this is where I want to live. The woman who showed us the place really liked us as well (heh, who wouldn't?!) and was actually trying to convince us to move in sooner. She said that we were the only people who were content with the size and the neighborhood/parking, so that makes me feel even more confident that we will get this place.

I'm so excited! Can't you tell how excited I am?!
where is my mind


My lips get so dry in the winter. I hate it.

John pointed something funny out to me a while ago, he told me that he noticed that a lot of his favorite tracks on an album is always track number 6. I began to pick this up as well. Maybe there are some unexplainable forces out there...? Not really. I'm sure that is not the case for every album, but I found that interesting.

I want to take a trip somewhere, but I don't know where to go. Somewhere warm. I would like to go back to California. I felt like the last time I went there, I wasn't really able to do everything that I wanted to do, which is a shame. I had a lot of fun there though. And I still can't believe that my little ole Ford Focus was able to make it to Cali and back to Chicago in one piece. That's my baby!
where is my mind


Colors. I feel like I understand colors extremely well. While I was in college, for the last year I was there, I took all art classes. I'm talking Drawing I & II, Painting I, Photography, Photographic Design, Computer Art, 2D Design, and Printmaking. Alas, I didn't make it through to the end in printmaking because my workload became too much to handle, and so I dropped that class. But, in all of these classes I learned some hardcore lessons in color. Since then, I haven't looked at color in the same way that I used to.

Because of this, I noticed that I started to wear colors a lot more and wear colors that were complimentary. My photos have a lot more color in them, as opposed to the usual B&W's. I'm embracing colors a lot more.

My favorite color of the moment is green. I love green. I love wearing it, I love buying things that have green in it, I love smoking it, I love laying in it, everything! It's a neutral, friendly color. It's very earthy and natural. Perhaps that's why I've grown to love it.

What's your favorite color, and why?
where is my mind


Wow, day 20! I'm happy to say that I'm keeping up with this project.

This morning I cleaned my room. Every time I clean my room, it gets cluttered all over again in a matter of days. I like to clean though. I don't mind doing the dishes or the laundry or cleaning my room - it's actually quite therapeutic for me. I like to declutter because all these things we have can become such a nuisance.

Before I move out, I'm going to go through every single thing in my room and decide whether or not it is necessary to my life. There is no reason for me to keep all of these things if they serve no purpose. I'm going to get rid of old clothes and give it to charity and give away little itty bitty things to others that might benefit from it.

I remember there was a time when I would keep every single little thing - whether it be from others or from school, etc. And I remember the day when I finally tossed all that crap out. It was incredibly relieving and freeing. I never want to go back to that stage again.

I noticed that I do something really funny...whenever I'm ready to take a photograph, I always take the cap off of the lens and I place it somewhere random. Then I end up forgetting completely where I put it and I have to retrace my steps. I'm so silly.
where is my mind


I love ginger ale.
I like drinking out of straws.
I love my green glasses.
I like playing touch screen Mah Jongg at this coffee shop called Ashbary's (which is where I'm going now).
I love cappuccinos.
I like smoking pot.
I like dancing in my room when no one is home.
I enjoy doing yoga.
I love to read.
I love good music.
I like being a sarcastic mother fucker (some people can't handle my humor, they just don't get it!).
I like to browse clothing websites like Karmaloop.com for hours.
I love buttery nipple shots.
I like Dell computers.
I love everything about The Matrix Trilogy.
I love expensive cameras and plastic cameras.
I love leopard print.
I love gin and tonics, my drink of choice. Always.
I love watching Project Runway and Top Chef. Also, the Food Network!
I love fashion photography and would love to do that one of these days.
I love sexy high heels even if I can't walk in them.
I love Pukka tea!
I love washing my hair with Organix Shampoos.
I like to dye my hair with henna and nothing but that.
I love stinky cheese.
I love the west coast and I wish I lived there dammit.
I love to cook!
I love the White Sox and the Blackhawks.

What about you?
where is my mind


I actually had to rush home to snap this shot. I spent the morning looking for apartments, calling people, setting up appointments - and I didn't have time to take a photo. We found a place in Albany Park, but the guy who was supposed to show it to us didn't have a key, so we just ended up driving around and writing down numbers to other places. I think I found the neighborhood where I want to live! I hope it works out, plus there's a Jewel-Osco there that I could possibly transfer to. I think I might apply to Northeastern and start going to school there perhaps in the summer. Who really knows?!

I don't know my future after this weekend and...I don't want to.
where is my mind


Still searching for apartments. I'm actually starting to get a little worried. I'm worried that I will find a place that I really like, apply for it, and end up not getting chosen to live there. It's all a tricky business. This happened when I first attempted to move out, but then I ended up getting a place that was bigger and better.

I'm also incredibly nervous about moving. It's absolutely terrifying and I just know that I will be much further from home this time around. I hope my parents support me with this decision. I told them a few months ago about my plans of moving out to an apartment and they were bothered by it. They rather I get a condo, but I don't have money to get a condo at the moment. I'll wait till I'm 30 for that. Ugghhh, parents. They just don't understand!
where is my mind


I've been playing a lot of Super Mario lately. Wii is a fun game system. I don't care if you elite gamers think I'm not a real gamer because I play Nintendo. I find all systems to be enjoyable for their own reasons. I love Nintendo because of Mario Kart, New Super Mario Bros, and all the other Mario games. I like that you can download games off of the internet and from like 5 different systems.

I love Sega for Sonic and Boogerman and I would play that Power Rangers game all day long with the Sega CD. Tom Jam and Earl is another favorite. I remember playing that in my apartment a lot whenever I got bored.

I love Playstation for introducing me to Spyro. That is probably my top favorite game of all time, next to Mah Jongg. I hear they're making a movie about Spyro, lolll I would totally go to the theater and watch that. Crash Bandicoot was the first playstation game I ever played. I wish they kept making more games. The last one I remember playing was the third one (Warped!) or maybe it was Crash Team Racing..

I'm not a big Xbox user, but I'm very fond of Doom. Although the original Doom game- I'm talking about computer disc, ID software style Doom- is obviously much better.

Does anybody remember Day of the Tentacle? I'm trying to get my hands on that. Can't find it anywhere.
where is my mind


Woke up with a hangover this morning. I can't think of a better way to start the day! I've been quite sick lately and I think it's because of this quitting smoking thing. I've been coughing a lot with mucus sticking to my tongue. Getting rid of the toxins, I suppose is what it is.

That Darkroom bar is actually a really cool place. They had this back room sectioned off into the corner with black drapes shading the area for live photos being taken, which was then projected onto this screen. They had people jump off this couch and the photographer would catch your jump in mid air with this giant round flash. Cici, John, and I got our photos taken and it was pretty fun. They served Colt 45's, which I never had before and I never want to have again! Hah!

I noticed that I never used to get horrible hangovers like I do now. I suppose my body is finally giving me a hard time because I have been giving it a hard time. No more drinky for me, at least not for a while. It's always funny to me when I wake up from a crazy night. Clothes are scattered all over the floor, my makeup is smeared, I can't find my money or my phone, my breath reeks of alcohol, and I am dying to quench my thirst. Not a pretty sight.

I need to make myself a meal. Know any good recipes that includes bell peppers? I have too many in my fridge.