Tags: hopeless

bringing my sweet loving home to you.

It was brought to my attention that I MAY have polycystic ovarian syndrome [ link ]. i started reading and the symptoms are there, I started to cry... because I haven't had my period in about 3 months and I'm currently experiencing very severe acne... this is all too much for me.

It wasn't too long before I started crying, it happened too quickly for me to stop it before it started but when I did realize I noticed I had my hand hovering over my face like they do in the movies. A nice movie cry, it made my smile.

I quit my job because it was so horrible but I received paperwork from COBRA so I can extend my health benefits which is helpful. because I am on coumadin, levothyroxine and adderall.

I know my health problems are very small compared to things like AIDS and etc but I am so frustrated, I feel defeated because I'm trying to lose weight but everything is combating my efforts. Maybe I should reconsider my doctor's option of the weight loss surgery?

I don't know right now... I'm just so upset :(

how am i...

how am i to keep faith and keep high hopes or even a sliver of hope when things are going more than not so well....

i had been in the hospital for two blood clots in my lungs and then one in my bottom left leg, i was out of work for 3 weeks. i finally get back into work and things are starting to get better or so it seems...

my boyfriend decides to quit his job because he feels they have been doing him wrong, he decides to work with this guy he had been working for about 2 to 3 years. the guy told him everyone was getting 40 hours plus, well he found out quickly it was a lie and that they were barely getting 20 hours a week. so, he quit thinking he'd be able to get another job with his skills..... i guess he didn't realize the economy we're in...

so, he's been getting work ever so often, not every day like he's been led to believe by numerous folks... they say yes we will be working tomorrow, when he calls or shows up at the job site, its "oh, sorry we meant to tell you, "...

now he did apply for a job where my mom works, where he stocks at night... him and a friend... his friend still has a job and he guess what? he gets a callback on labor day for him to start work this upcoming Monday.... no phone call for my honey :(

and amidst all of this the bills are still rolling in one by one and the all are due on the same day, a day of course i can't accommodate... so of course, i make as many payment arrangements as possible... but payment arrangements cant be made for rent...

i remember the nasty letter we received because my boyfriend had turned in the payment 1 day late because he was at the hospital with me.... i doubt it'll be any different...


also, all my funding for college has been canceled because the school had be listed an out of state student, once i corrected that all my loans become null and void, i have no funding whatsoever. i've had to drop all my classes and i'll have to return all my books.

school was one of the things i looked forward to, since i work at a job that absolutely hate and i swear the stress from it makes me sickly.

right now, i'm pretty scared and worried and i have no idea of what to do.......