here by special request...

 where do i get my flavoured cigarettes... well it's actually called beedies, bidis, biri or beedis. you can get the herbal beedi which has no nicotine nor tobacco some contain no tar or very minimal tar. You can also get a flavoured beedi with tobacco which actually opens a lot more flavours for you it looks like. but here is what they look like:

oooo yum yum

rolling patrollin

I usually buy soex which comes in these flavours: Raspberry, Chocolate, Lime-Lemon, Wild-Cherry, Nutty-Coffee, Menthol, Vanilla, Strawberry, Black-Liquorice, Grapes, Natural and Clove.
or you can get bali-hai which are really good and they have these flavours: Chocolate, Mint, Vanilla, Clove, Cinnamon, Strawberry, Apple, Orange, Banana, Grapes
ranvir brand has the most flavours, they have: Strawberry , Cherry,Two-Apple , Peach , Guava ,Lichee, Orange , Grape Fruit , Green Apple , Fruit –Punch , Mulberry ,Tropical Fruit , Cashew Nut , Mango , Watermelon , Passion Fruit , Pistachio , Truity-Fruity, Black Current , Pineapple , Aniseed, Liquirise , Almond , Root Beer , Vanilla , Chocolate , Coffee , Clove , Cinnamon , Banana , Mint , Menthol , Rose , Jasmine & many more.
but i have YET to find somewhere that sells the Ranvir Brand online. I'm still looking for a distributor for you all because many of you have expressed that your specialty smoke shop doesn't carry them.
here are all the links to the bidis i mentioned in this post:

also check out ebay for these items :)

favourite movies

 1. the truth about cats and dogs
 2. garden state
 3. v for vendetta
 4. home is where the heart is
 5. pretty woman

what are your favourite movies? :)
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so much to keep up with?

i have a website
i have a livejournal.
i have a twitter
i have
i 'm also on myspace & facebook but i don't give a fuck about those accounts.

is it all too much? i know everyone is probably signed up to a whole lot more than i am. i wish there was a way to condense everything into one big community but that's not the way things are going. right now it's hot to create niche type things instead of something that can do everything.

anyhoo do you ever feel its all too much? or is it just my adhd?

but i think it also has to do with the fact that i have so many other projects going on as wellll.....

i'm working on a series of children stories
i'm working on a series of sex books
 & both of these things are not just books. i've got illustrations, music, animation and etcetera to work on for these.
i'm working on a line of hoodies and handbags.
i'm also planning out an elaborate "road trip" where i'm touring all of the usa and possibly canada
along with that i'm working on drinking all my water, working out and remembering to breathe.

i think i should just slow it down.......


she's gone.
in the valley
singing whimsical psalms
her hair flows back
in pretty silk threads
as her eyes shimmer
like glazed stained glass.

she walks.
the sun sets for dawn,
weaving and concluding
fables, myths, then tragedies.
her hands were laced
within a flowers' petals,
voice sharper
than the blades that cut meadows lean

because she's gone,
out wandering free...
no one knows her,
she sews her heart together
as the night fades into her skin
an image maintained, well kept
she's gone ...
no one yet knows

new year's resolutions.

* To Drink More Water
* To Stop Eating So Much Sugar / Drop It Completely
* To Eat More Protein
* To Exercise
* To Stop Putting Weight Loss Deadlines On Myself

* To Keep In Contact With ALL My Friends Not Just New Ones
* To Get Back Into School
* To Get My Portfolio Back Online
* To Get My Personal Website Back Up
* To Take More Pictures

bringing my sweet loving home to you.

It was brought to my attention that I MAY have polycystic ovarian syndrome [ link ]. i started reading and the symptoms are there, I started to cry... because I haven't had my period in about 3 months and I'm currently experiencing very severe acne... this is all too much for me.

It wasn't too long before I started crying, it happened too quickly for me to stop it before it started but when I did realize I noticed I had my hand hovering over my face like they do in the movies. A nice movie cry, it made my smile.

I quit my job because it was so horrible but I received paperwork from COBRA so I can extend my health benefits which is helpful. because I am on coumadin, levothyroxine and adderall.

I know my health problems are very small compared to things like AIDS and etc but I am so frustrated, I feel defeated because I'm trying to lose weight but everything is combating my efforts. Maybe I should reconsider my doctor's option of the weight loss surgery?

I don't know right now... I'm just so upset :(

welcoming the vampyre life.

i quit my hideous job, during a recession... i think i made the right decision, even if i do end up working at walmart afterwards. it'd be a lot better than where i was before, my mind couldn't take it anymore.

plus, i have wanted to quit for so long. ever since i've worked there i've been so sick and i've been calling out a lot and this is crazy for me because i've always had WONDERFUL attendance. and eversince the first time i was sick, i was out for almost two weeks --- but i had pretty much every infection you could think of at once, the previous employer has held it against me.

i felt like i gained a reputation of a slacker and someone who doesn't care about their job. which is far from it considering that there was no way for me to go up the ladder because my health which causes me to miss work, i couldn't really do anything. although, i knew a lot more about everything overall compared to my co-workers, but does it really matter when you're never really there?

that was two days ago....

a few weeks ago i posted an ad on craigslist looking for people that wanted websites created. i offered the service for free because i'm trying to get a few references and a few pieces for display on my website.

here's my current projects: gay & lesbian online magazine, radio station website, online music magazine, hair stylist website and a personal site for a friend.

i've shown a few of them my work so far on their sites and they've offered me money and i'm not turning it down! some are even wanting me to work on future projects as well.... i'm hoping this will turn me into a freelance designer.....

do you know how amazing it'd be? i'd work from pretty much 10pm until 6am, go to sleep around 6am or 7am, wake up around 1pm or 2pm, do misc. house chores (including cook, bleh), go work out, bum around with friends. my breaks and lunches would consist of lots of video games and reading. ha ha! get the good times rolling!

i really hope & pray everything works out.

tiny achievement

i started reading the twilight saga because ONTD made so much fun of it. so far i really like it. i didn't think i'd make it through the first book but i'm half way thru the third book and there's only one more book left.

that's an achievement for me.

i remember it taking at least a year for me to finish all the potter books.

but i love each and every one of those books.

i'm sorta motivated.... we'll see what becomes of it