random thoughts of a freak show.

I have a nice job, I've lost 80 pounds, I have a best friend for the first time in my life, a boyfriend, and a cool droid razr maxx, but i'm fucking bored.

life is boring when you have shit.

meow.

let's try this whole writing our feelings in a journal thing one more time. but not right now, okay? :)

I went through the trouble of making my livejournal look better so it's suppose to make it more enticing for me to type in... but really it didn't work. Only because I don't like sitting on the floor and typing up novels, it's so odd to me.

I got a call from my job, she kind of scheduled me on short notice but she probably didn't and I just wasn't paying attention... yeah, it happens. Anyhoo, I just realized I couldn't make it because of things that were scheduled prior but I told her I would but now I have to let her know I can't! Wonderful.

I'm going to take a nap after I conjure up a good excuse because my prior engagement was really me just sleeping and reading but I don't have the money to pay for a new white collar shirt that has long sleeves. Something simple should cost like $10, it's like $25. So, I'm waiting for my mom to come home so she can spot me $5. Yup. This is my life!

I hope your Saturday is awesome as mine! ♥

i started writing this around 9am on thursday, its now 3:45am on friday. the air is sweeping through my window is making everything alright and this cool water in my disney princess sippy cup is it's companion.

so today.

what should i write... dear livejournal, i love you but why is it so hard to write something longer than 140 to 160 characters? maybe my life will be automatically renewed when i receive my gift.


I AM SO EXCITED FOR IT!


you really have no idea. so what shall i talk about? everything? that sounds good.... :)

so, it's been about 4 months since i moved back in with my parents. i think my quality of life is way better since i've been home. i really needed stability and that's one thing i can count on with my parents.

with being at home i realized things were an incredible mess. i hadn't done most of the things i wanted to! i blame mostly myself along with the situation i was in.


i've decided to get back into school and honestly, it does scare me. not because of my age or for going back so late but because my mental state has deteriotated. i don't remember things as i should and i don't pick up things as fast as use to! it's really going to be a challenge to push myself but even i value a great education.

other than that, just working on taking care of myself. having a better diet, working out, reading more, doing more art, pretty much just enjoying myself.


i am having a hard time with decorating my room as i dont want to decorate my room and make it my own because i feel it is temporary. yet, i know i'll be here for some time as i've made it my goal to not leave until things are where they should be. what do you think? not that you read this but if so, let me know.

xo - shenae

i hate how i suck at updating this thing. i hate how i suck at journaling... the funny thing is i actually enjoy journaling... i just prefer to write it. i think i'm going to flip my website into a paper journal... just start scanning my journal. and ever so often type it! i think it will work this time... maybe.


february 10th is my birthday. i have failed a lot, especially in the past 2 years. you live you learn, i'll never do that shit again.

upon realizing all my shortcomings, i have realized that i kind of forgot about school. oops. i'm turning 26 this year i'm suppose to be done. so i started going through my catalog looking at all the classes i wanted to take. pieced things together and realized i should be going to school for anthropology.

so that's what i am doing.... along with trying to get a place again... but i'm not quite sure if i am ready to move out again. we'll see. i want to take things as they come but not really as i am impatient and get frustrated easily!

plus, i don't have the income to live by myself yet. i'm looking into selling porn again or running some sort of escort service. dead serious, i need money!


yet things aren't so bad. i have a job, i have a car again. i just need a bank account, to clean up some debt (who fucking doesn't?) and i need a new phone REALLY REALLY FUCKING BAD!

seriously, my little maroon env2 has had it. it's been beaten to death and it wasn't even from me. the 0 & 8 key barely work and my qwerty pad was fucked a month after purchase. i went to the verizon wireless store and played around with all the phones i had an idea i was in love with the droid. i saw it online, read a lot of reviews, played with the dummy phone they had in bestbuy it was disheartening because it gave me second thoughts! but when i played with the apps and features on it for a few minutes in the verizon store, i knew we'd be in a committed relationship very soon.

i'm thinking about buying it february 12th as my bday gift.... you know that's awful because i owe my previous landlord $1500 and i haven't paid a cent yet. i have intentions... fuck, i need a payment plan.


speaking of love! i love my boyfriend! FUCK YEAH! my friends say i talk like mclovin'..... i'm starting to think so as well, haha.

oh yeah.... i'm obsessed with youtube like a lot a lot a lot. i want to lose weight soley for youtube because i want to be on youtube and i find it absolutely golden! i need to think of what i'd call my channel... help me?

also i'm in love with formspring.me ; i find it so amusing because of the questions and mostly how people perceive me.

all in all. things are good and are going to get better.

p.s. i need to eat more soup! soup makes you skinny!!

I just fixed the settings on my livejournal and i'm now doing a text test entry, let's see how it goes :)

VoicePost 344K 1:45

(no transcription available)

VoicePost 22K 0:06

“Hi, this is Shenae and this is just a test.” Transcribed by: _plastica

i don't like this livejournal layout that i have at the moment. srsly, i am in the market for the new.


i'm browsing and brainstorming now.