lights

Wouldn't mama be proud?

You're only as sick as the secrets you keep.
Secrets. When I was a child, my father always told me, "The truth will always find you." You may not tell the truth or even plan on it, but it will find you. Thats a scary thought. I always ask my closest friends and family to tell the truth no matter what. I don't lie, so I don't expect other people to lie. One lie can ruin and entire marriage, friendship, etc. So why is it that lies are so appealing? A few days ago some masked fool left my sister a message that said I was ugly inside and out. Sure, I may be ugly outside, but the fact that I'm honest and very opinionated with my responses makes me ugly inside too? I don't think so. The truth hurts, it stings, it bleeds, but it heals and goes away. You know, I can count every lie you ever told me. I'll forgive, but I will never forget.
Lies are ignorant. You think you're protecting someone from the harsh reality, but you're only killing them softly.



We live in a world of jealousy and hate. Brought on by lies and deceit.



Is it possible to live a perfectly happy and well adjusted life with hate in your heart?


I'm starting to think not. Its fine, and then it isn't. It creeps up and eats everything you know like acid on the skin. The littlest remarks, the smallest of change in a facial expression. It eats you alive. SO is it possible to live with hate? It could be, I think it is..to an extent. I think you can live with it until its brought to the surface. Until you go to bed and feel homesick, empty, and alone. When you realize that suddenly everything inside you has been eaten away. Can you love with hate? I think some hate is brought on by love. I do believe love is possible with hate, though I don't think it will last very long.


So... How sick are we? What kind of life are some of us missing?






See you later.
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    elliott smith
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party

Wow, today was great. Thank you to: Anthony, Morgan, Chris, Danielle, Tim, Jessicat, Jillian, Leesa, Tyler, Deborah, Brett, and Katie for coming over and being all nice n stuffs.. and to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. AND to Dustin, Brandon, Saundra, and James. I know they all wanted to come but couldn't make it. It's all good though. :)  This has honestly been the happiest birthday I've ever had. =)  I had fun eating cake and watching Danielle act all silly like. Opening gifts was fun, and almost impossible thanks to Anthony. I think everyone was really bored by the time I got it open. After all that some of us sat around and played nintendo, others watched Hellfest. It was all really fun. I'm a happy kid. :)  Thannnnk you!

As of now, mum says I have a kidney infection. Something in my stomach is swolen.. my body feels like it's going to fail me... I hurt. :/

Oh, and btw. For the fag that commented anonymously in my journal. If you don't like what I say, don't read it, dear. and if you MUST read it, keep your comments to yourself. ;)

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    nothing
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just not enough of this

I think I have a bladder infection. :(  I woke up and almost cried. As of now, I'm feeling okay.   ickky.. I think my b-day's gonna be good. Deborah's coming over tonight to spend the night, 'cause she couldn't make it tomorrow. My stomach just started hurting.. I'm gonna hop off of here. I think I'll go let the bunny out of it's cage so it can run around.

 

..:so give me all your poison, and give me all your pills, and give me all your hopeless hearts, and make me ill:..

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    My Chemical Romance
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Long ago

Yesterday was gay. I saw Dajita, and the twin. Bought christmas gifts.

Oh yeah, a bone came out of my ear while I was on the phone with Anthony. He says it happens to most everyone who get their ears done, yet I've never heard of that before. Icky. I guess I have one less bone in my body now. hrm...

My birthday is in two days. Yay for me. :P I hope people actually show up. D

..:just like the hearse you died to get in again:..

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  • Current Music
    My Chemical Romance - 'Helena'
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you've got your gun to my head

No more school for two weeks. Ohhhh yeah.

School was nice today. Me, Deborah, and Susannah snuck off and hid from alll the other losers. It was great. annnnd we pissed them off, which is what we set out to do in the first place. awesome. I got to see the baaaaby, annnd I took pictures of him in his little Santa Clause outfit. Ohhh my, it was so cute. I'll post them later.  After that, Anthony, Brandon, and Jaime came over for a bit, then I went to Mancester. That's my last piano lesson for 2 weeks also. That, my friend.. is rad. Dad let me drive home for once, which was really strange.. and then I went to the movies to see Ocean's 12. I guess it's a good movie.. I just couldn't pay attention/stay awake. Then I got to see Dustin. Yay on that!   So today wasn't so bad. I got to see Anthony, and ohhh did we need that. I get so depressed sometimes, and he's the only one that can make it better. (++++ John too) But I haven't been able to see either of them lately. That sucks. So seeing him really cheered me up. :)  My birthday is tuesday... so I'll get to see most of my friends (hopefully) and that's cool.

 

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    nothing
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i don't wanna know.

 

 

So how did today go? Eh, it was alright I guess. For some reason I feel really sad today.  Why do so many people that are so close to me have to hurt? I feel bad when they feel bad.

Henry said sorry today. That made me feel a bit better. I know he meant it when he said sorry, 'cause he was pretty wasted when he said the mean things to me,  I'm still upset with him though. : (  High or not, he should've known that would hurt me. Let's not get into that again though.

These are for anyone who's feeling down today.

 rip. the gals.. they're slowly dying, and that's a sad thing.

..:i can be anything you want me to be. just say something... i miss you:..

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    Songs: Ohia - 'The Rules of Absence'
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we'll fight for our rights

John! Get a new job! I hate not being able to talk to you. }: (  I misssss our stupid conversations about really really weird things.

It's the last effing week of school! RAWR!  Raaaad. I can't wait until it's over. I'll be bouncing off of the walls. No more being grounded, no more school, and hello birthday. You fags better show up.  I don't give a crap less if you don't/do bring gifts. Just show up. :]  

..:because only we can pass for people tripping on lsd without actually doing it:..

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    Anti-Flag