I now loathe the job I used to love. Waiting tables isn't my thing. Yeah, I make good money on busy days, but I have too many insecurity issues to be a waitress. Every time I'm tipped less than 20%, I panic and start thinking I suck, which leads me to screw up with my subsequent tables. It's the slippery slope of doom :( Also, I'm kind of anti-social, which is a problem because socialising = better tips = better waitress!me. Obviously, there's a problem here. I want to quit, but I can't find a job anywhere else, so I guess I have to stick it out until I go back to school.
Speaking of school... I miss it so much it literally hurts :( I've never been homesick, but I get schoolsick the moment I'm off campus. I want to go back to USC and LA. Chicago is a great city, but it's about as exciting as watching grass grow. All I can do is eat myself into oblivion, drag myself to work every once in a while, attempt to write and bemoan my failure as a writer when I can't manage more than a sentence, and read/reread/rereread yaoi. My father drives me up the fucking wall, all my close friends are elsewhere around the country, and there's no one around to get me off my ass and to the gym. I'm just about as useless as this city.
Um. More malware somehow found its way onto the computer at work. It started out as a stubborn combination of Vundo and Smitfraud, but somehow Antivirus snuck into the system as well. The computer might be beyond repair this time. I've tried everything, but nothing can remove the trojans. I've been going back and forth with someone at Geeks to Go, and he hasn't helped much. I won't be near the computer for the next few days, so... shit.
Even though my schedule is pretty much empty, I have too much to do. I only work 2-4 days a week, but they're long hours (8-10 hours) which don't allow me time to work on computer stuff. When I have free time, I idle it away. This is a problem. I've got articles to write for my school newspaper and emails I need to send out to various people. More importantly, I've got to start putting some serious effort into my hd_inspired fic and SKoM, because once I get my hp_cross_fest assignment, I'll be fucked. Unfortunately, I'm stuck on both of those fics -- I can't think of a theme to structure the HDI fic around, and SKoM is being stubborn as usual. I've actually been going back and forth with the wonderful lapislazuli67, who's translating SKoM into German, about some of the mistakes she caught in previous chapters and the fic in general. Sadly, my beta is MIA, so I'm desperate for someone to whom I can ramble about my fic XD But the more I go over the fic, the more I'm starting to regret ever writing it. I started writing with a decent idea, but the fic grew a mind of its own and ran away from me o_O Way too many inconsistencies slipped past my beta (whom I get the feeling is too scared or lenient to point out plot issues -- not that I don't love her). *sigh* To add onto my rapidly growing pile of WiPs, I've also got a million editing projects to work on for DP. Most of those are enjoyable, though, so they're not so much work as fun :D