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AI7 Top 5 Performances

  • 29th Apr, 2008 at 9:51 PM
All things considered, not one of the more memorable performance shows this season.

Oh, and before I get to the review, let me just say that I love seer!Paula and succinct!Simon. I had to pause the video for a few minutes so I could crack up after the confusion over Paula thinking Jason had already sung twice. Poor Idol. They tried so hard to cover the fact that the judges go into the performance shows having already watched the dress rehearsal performances, but alas, Paula just can't be controlled. I love her. And Simon's summaries of the first performances? ABSOLUTELY ON TARGET. I'll address them in a bit. Also, WTF @ them showing the UCLA sign on camera. UCLA sucks.

Cook 2 - "All I Ever Really Need is You" - 10/10 - I didn't like this the first time I saw it, but then I rewatched it and fell in love. I freaking LOVE when Cook starts out slow and then builds up. It's like a musical orgasm. COOK FTMFW. If seer!Paula says he'll win the competition, it'll happen. Trust me.

Cook 1 - "I'm Alive" - 8/10 - Simon's comment: slightly above average. I think the "slightly" should be dropped, but to be fair, I hardly remember this performance (mostly because it was eclipsed by Cook's second performance). Cook sang a typically rock-ish arrangement; nothing extraordinary there. Yeah, don't have much else to say.

Archie 1 - "Sweet Caroline" - 7/10 - Simon's comment: amateurish. Okay, I disagree with him here. I thought this performance was really cute. It was nice seeing Archie sing a fun, upbeat song instead of the depressing, end-world-hunger ballads he usually chooses.

Syesha 2 - "Thank the Lord for the Night Time" - 7/10 - Great. First a song about the American dream, and now a song about thanking the Lord. Too bad KLC isn't still around, because she would've loved this shit. Ugh, I hate this song. The performance wasn't too bad, though. I think the high note she hit redeemed her. I really wish Syesha wouldn't choose gospel-ish songs like this. Just because she's black doesn't mean she's a diva. IMO, her voice is better suited to softer, prettier songs like "Yesterday" or jazzy songs like "One Rock and Roll Too Many".

Syesha 1 - "Hello Again" - 6/10 - Simon's comment: old-fashioned. Too true. I think everyone knows I adore Syesha, but honestly, I forgot to include her in my reviews of the first round songs. This performance was very forgettable. The song was too slow and boring. She sang it pretty well, but I don't think she did herself any favours by choosing this song.

Archie 2 - "America" - 6/10 - Awww, voice crack. Poor bb. Oh god. This song is disgustingly patriotic. What's with the blown up image of the flag waving in the background? Well, anyway, yeah, the judges are right, it WAS the right song choice. The rednecks down south who voted for KLC are gonna love it. However, I didn't like the performance. It didn't do it for me. I AM SO MOTHERGODDAMNING SICK OF ARCHIE'S INSPIRATIONAL SONGS OMG SRSLY JUST STOP.

Brooke 2 - "I Am...I Said" - 6/10 - Sorry, but I can't help cringing every time I see Brooke on stage. SHE'S JUST SO AWKWARD. Yeah, sitting behind the piano is "where she belongs", but she always has that deer-in-headlights look on her face when she sings. She looks anxious, and that makes ME anxious. The first part of this performance sucked hard, but she picked it up once she hit the chorus. Still didn't like it very much.

Jason 1 - "Forever in Blue Jeans" - 2/10 - Simon's comment: forgettable. I completely agree. To be honest, I don't even remember this performance AT ALL. I just know that it sucked, because I was tuning out for most of it.

Jason 2 - "September Morn" - 1/10 - Um, so yeah, this performance? WAS TEH SUCK. It sounded exactly like everything else he's sung on AI so far. I'll go into more detail after I finish reviewing the performances.

Brooke 1 - "I'm a Believer" - 0/10 - Simon's comment: a nightmare. Again, he couldn't be more right. This was the most horribly awkward performance I've ever watched on AI, and that includes her performance of "Here Comes the Sun" on top 11 night. WTF. She wore the ugliest pants in the universe, looked like she didn't know what to do with the big guitar hanging off her shoulder, and didn't get into the song at all. I don't give a crap if she had "fun", because I sure as hell didn't.

Taking both rounds into account, my overall rankings for the night are...

1. Cook - He wins the night BY A MILE. I'm pretty sure this man can do no wrong. Have I mentioned that I want to have his babies?

2. Archie - At the moment, it looks like a David squared finale is inevitable. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that Archie won't get Melinda'd, because it looks like he's heading down the same path as her (peaked early, great voice, very humble... he has the power of fangirls on his side, though). Can you imagine how awesome a David-David finale would be? Like someone on IDF brought up, Ryan would totally pulling something like "And the winner of American Idol is David..." (pause) "...results after the break!"

3. Syesha - She is SO CUTE. Omg, I love her hair the way she did it tonight. I think she has the most gorgeous voice out of all the remaining contestants. Unfortunately, she hasn't got a chance of making it into the finale unless she has a "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" or "All By Myself" moment next week. (I say next week because DI has her on top, but then again, DI sucks when it comes to measuring two lines.)

4. Brooke - All right, I'll admit that when it comes to Brooke, it's a matter of personal preference. I for one can't stand the inflection in her voice, but one of my best friends loves it. The point is, SHE'S JUST SO AWKWARD. And every time she opens her mouth to speak, I want to give her a good slap. Bitch needs to stop shooting the judges wounded looks, stfu, and just SING (or not sing, which would be preferable).

5. Jason - Two words: pity votes. I'm about 90% certain he'll make it to next week. He's got the fangirls on his side, and as well all know, they couldn't care less about the quality of the performance(s) they vote for if the contestant is pretty. Jason played the cute card tonight, and it'll definitely help him. But seriously, I don't think Jason could be more redundant even if he tried. The only song I can remember him singing this whole AI run is "Daydream", because I LOVED that performance and thought he'd become my favourite after I saw it. Then he started singing the. same. shit. every week, and I lost patience. Jason needs to go.

Oh, AI. I'm really hoping the results turn out the way DI is predicting right now, which is, for the record:

1. Syesha
2. Cook
3. Archie
4. Brooke
5. Jason

Tell me that wouldn't be an awesome elimination order. Well, I'd prefer to switch Syesha and Cook, but I wouldn't be upset if Syesha won AI. Cook is going to pwn everyone after the competition, regardless of whether or not he wins.

And speaking of DI, check it:

Illinois always knows what's up every week. YAY GO HOME STATE ♥ California sucks for voting for Jason, but I forgive them: most of the people who use DI base their votes on how the current DI votes are looking, and since CA people vote after the rest of the country, they usually feel like it's up to to them to "save" the contestants falling behind. West Virginia sucks, btw -- Cook as the loser and Brooke as the winner? WTF, what are they on?

P.S. - Thank you to everyone who has already responded to my survey post :) You guys are AWESOME ♥ I'm already halfway to the minimum number of surveys needed :D