Annie (_pinkchocolate) wrote,

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Ramblings about nothing


(begin original post)

Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't an ATW update. I started chapter 33 last night but I only got about half a page written before my friend called and made me realise that I had applied to the wrong school (UIC instead of UIUC), so I was up all night frantically finishing the UIUC app since it's due today. My lack of sleep therefore resulted in several embarrassing moments this morning of which I won't elaborate on. But even so, I don't really want to rush this chapter, so I'm only going to write when I feel like something good will come out of it. I don't really have the time to sit for hours in front of the computer and force myself to write a page only to erase it a minute later, either. So yeah. ATW will take a while.

Anyway, anyone who came here looking for an update can stop reading here (and no, as touching as they are, I will ignore all comments that run along the lines of "OMG PLEASE UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!111").

My H/D fic is going along...somewhat well. The only problem is that I've lost my ability to write angst. Then again, I wrote fics like The Sweetest Sin and What's Left of Me when I was like, fluctuating between mild and severe depression, and now I'm more stressed than depressed, so I can't really pour my own misery into my characters. My writing is just sorta...bland. And shallow. Very shallow. It's like nothing I write anymore has any real feeling behind it (that's why I don't want to force ATW right now). It's very frustrating, because now Harry and Draco refuse to mope around and hate the world like they're supposed to. And if they're not depressed, they won't get together. What a dilemma, indeed...

Anyway, I'm starting chapter 4 of Miraculous right now, and I REALLY need a beta (uh...hint hint?). Seriously, for the first time in my LIFE I actually pored over a chapter I wrote and edited it. I HATE editing. It's time-consuming and I'm never completely satisfied with my work, so it's endless. Besides, what I need is a second opinion. But I always feel so awkward with a beta...either they're inadequate or not very devoted to the job, or they're great but I feel bad lobbing chapters at them at random intervals. Eh, whatever, I'll worry about it once I finish with ATW.

In other news, I've developed an unhealthy obsession with Jesse McCartney's music. As I was searching for lyrics I could use for chapters of Miraculous, I kept adding Jesse McCartney songs to the list (further proof of the loss of substance in my writing). His song, "Just So You Know", is amazing. I highly recommend it.

Squee. I found THE cutest H/D fanart in the history of ever just now. It was done by Qthelights.

*happy sigh* They look so squishy. Loves it.

Oh yeah, and one more thing. I posted this music video on here before, but I somehow managed to come across it again today while I was searching for Jay Chou on YouTube, and I couldn't help but watch it. It's just as heartwrenching the second time around. So watch it:

Even if you don't know Korean (like me) and don't have any idea what the hell the song is about, watch it for the story. It's really sad. I think I'm going to watch it over and over again (and then reread Fruits Basket or something) until I'm feeling angsty enough to start writing ATW again.

Okay, enough of that. I'm done rambling. I feel slightly better now. Again, please be patient about the ATW update. As much as I wish they could, comments urging me to update soon won't help the chapter write itself any faster.

*sigh* I can't help but feel bad for JK Rowling...I mean, if I'm stressed out over a measly little fic like mine, she must be all but going insane what with the WORLD pressuring her to hurry up.

♥ Annie
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