February 16th, 2005

melek

(no subject)

It's amazing how relieving one single sms can be. or maybe it's just my extreme typical gemini being, getting over happy from any kind of contact / communication with people. these last two years i figured out something very simple about myself, something that was always there but i didn't notice until i was left really alone: i should not be alone! i know that many people shouldnt be. but in my case, loneliness is a real murderer. my brain stops, my heart freezes and gets broken by every small second of nothingness. sure, i enjoy a bit of time alone now and then but only when i am sure that there is some people i can call later on or some events coming up where i can get to be social.
so in brief, i finally feel alive cause there is a bit of socializing starting in my life. i am ready to take all the chances to make everything even better.
oh and one great thing about having met with random swedish people is the fact that i finally truly want to be able to speak swedish and put some true effort in it. and i feel fine here!!! (never thought i would say this. however i have done and said so many things i thought i never would lately, which is just sheer beautiful). i don't feel the need for planning on moving away from here constantly. on the other hand i don't have any plans of settling anywhere either.
my heart is getting bigger, emotions stronger, and i can feel my wings finally healing under the warm sunshine.