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Insomnia. Bah. I haven't written in this in forever! Just stopping by to say my nephew finally arrived this past Monday.
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    ecstatic ecstatic

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"Variations on the Word Love" - Margaret Atwood

This is a word we use to plug
holes with. It's the right size for those warm
blanks in speech, for those red heart-
shaped vacancies on the page that look nothing
like real hearts. Add lace
and you can sell
it. We insert it also in the one empty
space on the printed form
that comes with no instructions. There are whole
magazines with not much in them
but the word love, you can
rub it all over your body and you
can cook with it too. How do we know
it isn't what goes on at the cool
debaucheries of slugs under damp
pieces of cardboard? As for the weed-
seedlings nosing their tough snouts up
among the lettuces, they shout it.
Love! Love! sing the soldiers, raising
their glittering knives in salute.

Then there's the two
of us. This word
is far too short for us, it has only
four letters, too sparse
to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish
to fall into, but that fear.
this word is not enough but it will
have to do. It's a single
vowel in this metallic
silence, a mouth that says
O again and again in wonder
and pain, a breath, a finger
grip on a cliffside. You can
hold on or let go.

To whom it may concern

I miss the friends I used to keep in touch with. I wholeheartedly apologize for dropping off the face of the Earth from time to time...I am not quite sure why I do this...and I am just now becoming aware and admitting that I actually do this. To anyone I have hurt by being distant and closed-off, you have my sincere apologies. I never meant to come across as heartless or an asshole. I am aware that I have a problem with letting anyone close to me. I am working on it.

I tend to isolate myself when I am stressed/anxious/emotional...although I know it is not the best thing to do. I am through pretending to be perfect because I am far from it.



Escaped from the madness of family to write a post.

The family had a nice pre-Christmas gathering, complete with delicious food. Now we will eat more delicious food and open presents. Gotta love Italian holidays. We always have too much food.

I hope my girl likes my gifts! I miss her right now. It really sucks trying to coordinate our schedules and it frustrates the crap out of us....we've been together for 5 months already. We've had our ups and downs but I love her so much. I'm willing to work through things to be with her because I know I'm not the easiest person to be in a relationship with. Now I'm getting all teary-eyed...damn.

In other news, I have secured a job that I'm actually growing to be quite fond of. The atmosphere is very relaxing, the people are extremely friendly, and I'm getting the hang of everything. I also think there is room for advancement in the future which is especially awesome. I think I could get used to an office job...although I never thought I would say anything like that. I'm also developing an interest for industrial/organizational psychology which may be the direction I am heading in (this changes daily, so who knows..)

One more semester left until graduation! Then my wonderful college loans kick in....ah well.

I am definitely taking a break after graduation and am not jumping right into graduate school. I have officially made that decision. I have set things in place (letters of recommendation, gpa, research experience etc.) for whenever I plan to go to graduate school....immediately is not very likely because 1) I need a break 2) I need to be sure of which area I want to pursue 3) I need to get some shit in order before making such a serious commitment.

My grades so far:
Cognitive Psychology: A+
Modern China: A
Behavior Analysis: A

Damn, I haven't written LJ entries in so long that I've lost the hang of it. I hope everyone has a splendid holiday!


Finals..When will they be over? I'm still typing up my experimental psychology take-home that has reached 20+ pages.

I graduate next semester..if I can survive!

By the way...this is such a procrastination entry.
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    cold cold

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So the headache has subsided and I'm feeling significantly better. I just have to make sure I go and eat something soon because I'm feeling rather zombified.

I spent a really wonderful evening with Samantha..just drinking Sangria (yum :D) and watching The Corpse Bride. It has been a really long time since we just relaxed together and spent some "quality time" with one another. It was definitely in order. I visited her new house which absolutely in-ground pool, huge name it, it is there.

Samantha's younger sister gave me this poster. I've always wanted it and she decided she didn't want it anymore..why, I do not know. ;) I am sure just about everyone has seen this picture of two girls is pretty popular..but if you haven't or if you want the pleasure of seeing it again you can stop by my house because it will be on my wall very shortly or go to this site:

The Poster

The semester is half over and the weather has been lifting my spirits lately. It is refreshing to not have to scurry to my car after class in the freezing cold. It also eliminates the feeling that the entire day is over at 5:30pm. I'm not quite sure if I would ever be able to go to grad school too far upstate or in a place where the weather is really dreary. I think I would just be asking for depressive episodes.

Ok, a shower is needed and I should jump on the producitivity wagon before it leaves.

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I have a really terrible headache that is slowly going away thanks to Excedrine. It is probably from my sinuses but Excedrine seems to work anyway. I need to go to the ENT but have been putting it aside..I really hope I am not getting yet another sinus infection because they fucking suck.

So school has been going really well..I aced two of my exams so far and have successfully completed a large portion of the work needed to finish this semester.

I'm trying to get myself into gear to study for the GRE's but they drive me crazy...I completely suck when it comes to test like this....I clam up and become really anxious just because I am aware of their significance. When I take the practice tests, if I mentally relax myself my scores improve TREMENDOUSLY. The problem with this is mentally relaxing myself on the test day will probably prove impossible.

In other news, I just saw my girlfriend who makes me really happy. I made her a turkey sandwich and we shared my tomato soup.

The end.
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