These words float through my mind as I dance, moving to the beat. Club Atomic's a hot spot for the college students most nights and tonight is no exception. Music pounding, the dance floor is packed and I am right where I want to be, dancing in the crowd.
It was the phrase 'I want fire' that really struck me. It was those words that made me listen to the song, to focus on the words.
On fire.. I want fire...give it to me...
Did the singer even understand what he was asking for ? Did he understand the scorching heat of fire ? It's power ? Funny, how such a simple phrase could impact me so. Probably because it contains the one thing I'm always thinking about. Fire. Bane of my existence. Powerful life force. It pulses in my veins even as I dance. It warms my skin and fills me up inside. Or so I fancy. Through there are other things that I wouldn't mind using to warm my skin, I think as I catch the eye of a cute guy at the bar. I force myself to break eye contact, flushing and hoping that he doesn't come over. For his sake.
I have to get out of here, before I get into trouble. Before I do something I'll regret. Heading to the coat check, I quickly hand my ticket over and retrieve my coat before heading to the door. On my way home I cut through the park. I shouldn't because I know why I'm going this way. I want to burn something. I want to feel the fire again. Walking past a garbage can, I will it to burst into flames. Instantly flames appear and destroy the contents of the can. This goes on for a few minutes as I watch, my hands practically in the fire itself. Not that it would burn me anyway, all I feel is warmth. I know I could set the whole park on fire if I'm not careful. Hell, not just the park but the whole damn town if I wanted to. The scary thing is that part of me wants to try. No. Shaking my head, I dismiss the fire in the garbage can which goes out like a candle.
Just what I need to do, give the government another excuse to hunt me down. I glance over my shoulder involuntarily. Looking for government agents, men in suits to come out of the darkness to drag me off back to the Shop. No one is there. Just my imagination. Paranoid much ? Yes. I have to be.
It keeps me alive, I think as I turn and continue home. For now.