Tags: summer 06

blue

(no subject)

You asked me what I saw through the shattered watercolour glass -
A burned strawhat, heated coals, the occasional sunrise, I replied.
You couldn't handle the disarmament of a dream,
as if leading me through the wrecked forest of a child's dream
would redeem our innocence, You swearing by moonlight that
there were no more wolves to fear. But moonlight fades fast
and your smile lost its truth, your hand lost mine and we walked onward,
alone.
This dream should be so telling, the queen and her cardmen or
did you think they were bushes? Candy corn fences -
something out of another fairytale where the ending is telling, wanted.
All the kings horses and all the kings men (yes, that is what they are,
knights on horses, full speed ahead!) couldn't put this puzzle together
again.
The secret of glass being, like a wave, the wind and love,
it only exists once in its present state, like our skin and selves.
And once broken or altered can never actually, truly be mended -
once shattered, always torn -
which is why a glass cut will remind you of a broken heart.
So when you ask me when I see through this broken glass,
I will tell you I see you, labouring under all illusions
of didactic warnings and happy endings. You by the fire,
altering, smoldering this, attempting to make it whole again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I painted for the first time in months and my brushes are ick and I need some practice, but it felt marvelous. This piece is over one of the paintings I did today.
blue

(no subject)

An opportunity for all of you, I think ....


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FUSE Network is doing a show about all aspects of dating, love and hooking-up. We're looking for any funny, crazy, scary, happy, sad INTERESTING stories you've got.

will only take an hour to share your story

Topics include:
- true love - overcoming the odds and you're still together
- chance meetings
- one-night stands
- cheating, being cheated on, or catching the cheater
- breakups
- blind dates
- internet dating
- funny sex stories
- "beer goggle" hookups
- pick-up lines

CASTING IMMEDIATELY

If you and possibly your significant other (if they're still around) want to share your story -

email hunterangj@yahoo.com subject line - DATING


Job location is Manhattan

Compensation: TBD-depending on time involved

no -- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!

no -- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

no -- Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

::Ahem::

(oh my goodness, I'm becoming that blogger who updates constantly, I'm sorry, I'm just home a lot these days. I can't even believe I'm a blogger. Lord, what has happened to me?)
  • Current Music
    [wes hutchinson] things we need the most
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popstar

The Great Hunt continues ...

Well, I am an avid, courageous adventurer, getting myself out of bed and coffee-ed before 10am to once more throw myself into the great unknown of the classifieds of New York. Craigslist, New York Times, Village Voice, etc ... and mind you, not only am I on the hunt for a job, a somewhat awkward adventure in itself but I am also on the very risky hunt for an endangered species that may soon be extinct in this fine city. That's right, affordable housing.

(rolls eyes).

First of all, before we get into the fun jobs I'm now considering, let me explain what I mean by "unemployed". It's not that I have nothing to do. It's not that I don't have a career, it's not even that I don't have work. I have plenty of all of the above and am quite happy about my career as a choreographer/writer/art-thing in general. However, next time you're eating in midtown as your waitress/er what their real job is.

So you see, I am working year-round in youth theater and am ecstatic to be doing so. I also have a number of projects in the works, and am transitioning into teaching open adult/professional classes. These things are all there and real in my life. The fine print to all of it is the inconsistency of the money flow. I can tell you first hand that trickle-down is a cruel and unusual illusion, there is no trickle down in the arts. There's a magic pool of money at the top that disappears into electric bills, supplies, rights, costumes, rentals, etc ... leaving little to the people who actually do it. (Well, maybe trickle-down is fair, i mean, its not called waterfall, which would be the real illusion i suppose). True enough, it's the nature of the beast and hey, I'm not complaining, after all I chose this! (Cue rent soundtrack: Some life that we've chosen!) I could have been an accountant interning at some firm downtown, money being a part of my vernacular! Instead, I dance for those people. And money is a word from a foreign language I struggle to pronounce elegantly, properly.

Okay, so that's the deal. I'm definitely a choreographer with work, definitely writing and working on publishing things, but I need a consistent job that pays me regularly so that I can function in a society not built for artists (simply made livable by them! of course.)


This is my favourite possibility so far:

FIRST MATE POSITION

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: job-179281965@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-07, 7:12AM EDT


I am looking for a first mate EXPERIENCED in personal yacht care.


Job location is Worlds Fair Marina

no -- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!

no -- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

no -- Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.


-------------------------------------------------------------------

Quick, someone give me a crash course in yacht care! Can't you just see it, the sailor hat, a striped polo and khaki-colored slacks (knee-length shorts on hotter days), the Mr Rogers boating shoes - whistling the Gilligan's Island theme all day.

A distinct possibility. I do love the ocean.

Here's a marvelous opportunity:

Bikini Contest

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: tecc_com@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-07-07, 2:49AM EDT


www.CalendarContest.com will soon be launching and in preparation for our debut, we are searching for amateur models for our web-site as well as our calendars.

Looking currently for our College's of NY series.

Please respond with picture (swimsuit picture if possible), your age, college attending or have attended, your major, where you were born and raised, where you currently reside, a contact number and e-mail, talents, interests, why you should be the cover girl, and anything else you find pertinent.

As, Total eXcess, the company that owns www.calendarcontest.com, is a fledgling company, there are no prizes other then for the cover girl. The only other prize we can offer the rest of the contestants is a valuable one, which is simply the exposure of being in the calendar and having your picture posted on the web-site. Exposure, in any variety is of great value in this industry.
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Exposure. No kidding. You think they realized their own pun? I am tempted to take on another identity and do this. However honey, this exposure doesn't pay the bills .....

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There are a number of ads looking for live-in nannies, for infants of like 3 weeks! My favourite thing to read is "Parents are very loving, but very busy ..." Ah, yes, the checklist of life: BA, check. Engagement ring that cost enough to feed an entire African nation, check. Wedding that cost enough to feed the entire African continent, check. Secure job with 401K, check. Child, check. Nanny, check. Gym membership for life ...

Truth be told, when I'm in the zone of endlessly applying and writing cover letters, I imagine myself in these jobs and I see myself for a moment, living on the Upper East Side in some grand place, raising someone else's child and it kills me a little. I can't do it. Maybe part-time nannying, pick-up the kid from school, listen to all their stories, make peanutbutter sandwiches, do homework. I'm a big sister, it's my natural role ....

Finally, I could just donate my eggs. After all I'm a dancer and an "intellectual", artistic and yet analytical. My genes are gold (we'll just over look the possibly inherited diseases that run rampart in my family, I mean, hey, everyone's got something!). It's a simple procedure, really, they just dig em up, save them for someone who really needs them, someone who will know how to use them.

Miracle of miracles, if I'm really lucky, I could donate my eggs and in approximately nine months be the nanny of the child with my genetics that I never had!


That's the update for now.

This mornings episode is brought to you by the raise in rents and my empty wallet!

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

[janis joplin]
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    [ellie lawson] gotta get up from here
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blue

(no subject)

Introductions, or Upon Meeting

when he puts out
his hand,
you retrieve as
such -
you want to shake firmly
but not too firmly,
you out not frighten him
away,
you want to shake softly,
but not too softly,
as you want it to be known
you stand your ground
despite your high heels.

this is how you make
a first impression,
balance your truths
with white mysteries,
(don't call them lies
until you have deleted
the ifs and the coulds,
the woulds and the maybes
from the conversations
you haven't had yet).

this is how you slide
smoothly through the
first moments,
knowing you are
smarter and paid less
or better read
and underrated.

don't mention your published
dissertation
unless cosmo has deemed it
okay,
mind your lipstick prints
and nail shape,
don't let on that you
secretly enjoy power-
tools in your hands,
gas petals beneath
your feet -

hands are for rings,
feet are for heels.

this is how you
master the initial
moments -
don't worry about
the game or what time
the library closed,
certainly not about the
election
or the courts final ruling.
assure yourself that
those things will pass
like sand through your fingers,
hold tighter instead to the
solid ivory tower and be sure
to cross your ankles.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i want to lose the library line, replace it with something with a little more weight or sting ... hmmm this needs some work, but has some potential methinks.
  • Current Music
    [joni mitchell] songs to aging children
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    ,
blue

(no subject)

I don't know if I posted this revision yet, but I'd like some new feedback, I think .. it's done? (if any art is ever done!)

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Wane

wane: the period of the decrease of the moon's illuminated visible surface; a defective edge of a board caused by remaining bark or a beveled end.

your half moon fingers
graze the edge of
this porcelain case:

we are fabled to be
made of marble, but
a darker purity
lies in our mold.

tiretracked,
the orchard lies
hidden, like some
forgotten menagerie.

glass apples,
glossed over
with an iridescent gaze:
the illusion of paradise.
a soft scent of apothecaries
the sweetest poisons
are coated over in
pitiful beauty.

your iron claw branch
reached through the strings,
plucked, arched, sanded down
these dimensions
to a single space existence.

flattened as if by stone,
the trees cower
beneath the weight of
their vial fruits -
the branches arch
unwillingly to the ground.

these fairytales,
your reasons compiling upon
these rubber grounds,
your finger to my heart, arching unwillingly,
an acute angle,
spilling enlightenment
over these roads,
nearly gnarled,
forgone by craft.

i will meet you
in these lost corners
when our china faces
bend the light in
some twisting of,
some dancing with
those unmasked, unspoken parables
tales of how we were,
how we could have been.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

merci!
popstar

Public Announcements

It's 3:00am and I should really be just about asleep now, but I'm pretty awake, maybe caramel corn and vitamin water at midnight were a bad idea?

I leave for Cape Cod tomorrow, I don't have a return trip planned, don't know when I need to be back here, don't know what's going on in general.

Pondering over the hard reality of how one can be a successful artist with an unsuccessful bank account, though as those twisted sisters the Fates would have it, as I am mulling through this the field is giving a conference entitled "Day Jobs Worth Keeping". I guess I should go? Learn a lesson or two?


On an unrelated note, you New York cool-types should head over to the Knitting Factory on July 7th and check out Visible From Space's CD release party (ready, here's the website: www.visiblefromspace.com) -- they're a great group, good clean fun kids, with a piano-man who keeps a certain girl quite happy!


There's so much going on and not going on that I can't quite pin it down at three a.m. However, I am determined to get a big blog chronicalling my adventures going - aka my suave commentary on life. This is inspired by the fact that I sat across from a woman who was the human embodiment of Miss Piggy on the LIRR the other day. Miss Piggy, I swear. And yes, there was a Kermit with her, and yes he was cute. And yes, they were happy. And I thought, this is it. I must become a famous blogger - since romance ain't my department ...

So I bid adieu with some quotes to muse on (Caitlin style now:)

"I was almost hit by a bike - how European!" - Angelo

"There are lots of flavors out there! ... Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!" (-Friends.) ((How ironic, I don't even watch TV anymore))

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me" -- Kermit the frog.

"And what it all comes down to is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet." -Alanis Morisette
  • Current Music
    [the pretenders] angel of the morning
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blue

Haphazardly strung together ...

i don't know why god insists on saving me, but she does and i'm grateful for it - makes me think maybe there is something to the golden rule, to karma, to some kind of cycle to the good we do. not that everything is planted before us, but i feel like i crashed and landed myself this weekend into the most positive pool of energy i've been in for some time.

went out to coney island and met up with jon, mermaided all weekend long basically, just hanging and being, meeting some fabulous people, just going and every once in a while i'd catch myself, tap myself on the shoulder in the middle of a friendly bar or conversation and go, "hey, yeah, its you here."

i decided last week to spend my last "paycheck" (aka not big enough wad of cash) on what my beautiful friend kristen has termed, retail therapy. normally, i am not one for such. however, i don't usually shop. groceries are about it. so i went to mark morris and bought myself a ten class card, determined to be physically prepared not only for my own teaching, but also for UBW which is probably going to kick my sorry postmodern butt anyway ... onward to st marks where i purchase a lovely pokadotted dress, perfect for swing dancing, dancing in the park and perhaps some outdoor jazz .. as well as a corset top dress, which will most likely become a costume for a solo piece ... and, my mermaid skirt. pink and long and frilly, in a peasanty way. it flows and it was love at first sight. happened to match my plaid bathing suit.

the parade was fabulous, just a marvelous gathering of beautiful people with beautiful body paint and ridiculous costumes. jon knew a group of mermaids and i ended up knowing people too, just a great day. the rain stopped just for the parade, but just as the last of the fruits were thrown into the atlantic, it down poured. and continued to do so. everyone scattered to the boardwalk bars and canopies, makeup running everywhere, it was quite the sight. jon and i walked back in the pouring rain, and ended up making me a new dress (my clothes were still drying this morning) out of fabric on his couch. quite a lovely halter dress if you ask me ... then we hung out with some mermaids and then we headed to an engagement party in park slope and enjoyed the hipsters and more importantly, his friends from north carolina. marvelous people, including a short man named franklin who apparently lives in a short house! he's a short (no pun intended) story waiting to be written, i swear. spent most of the evening with ben and pregnant-with-number-three-emily, who are wonderful, and her friend missy who lives in the east village. we landed there, but had to take the long subway ride back to coney island as my keys were in jons place. all over the place, so great to just be going and doing, i don't have photos, but i'll be sure to acquire some.

just so much positive energy, it was like some falling into some safety net.

this is just a quick update, didn't want you to think that i was drowning in self-pity/anger, just such a frustrating week, such a frustrating thing to weather things out sometimes, but hey, that rainbow story has something to it ... in this case though, i'll take the beautiful rain we had!

Maybe this says it better than I ever will:

And forget not that that
earth delights to feel
your bare feet and the
winds long to play
with your hair.


-The Prophet.


Peace.
  • Current Music
    [norah jones] the nearness of you
  • Tags
blue

Sea-side, part II

exist only this once,
it was a moment:
framing our translucent selves,
like attempting to capture
the siren's song in a
shell --
the sea's breath, like
a child's
will only sing to you
a secret misplaced
or perhaps broken,
stolen, in any way
lost
when the coral's
pink skeleton
still danced upon the sand, -

so you become
like the sea,
locked by land,
forsaken by sentiment

while i linger,
a sky meeting
your horizon
in an endless line
of transparency,
fleeting,
framing
a curved spine.

---------------------------------------------------------

i am attached to that middle section and the sky/sea thing, but feel like there may be room for growth in both of these ... hmmm
degas

(no subject)

Hello my loves,

This is just a reminder that my class down at Elevation Yoga (www.elevationyoga.com) begins tomorrow - June 25, 2006 - at 1:00pm. Come around 12:30 for sign-in and changing, etc.

Attire is comfortable dance/yoga wear. Bring a smile. (And a friend).

(And yes .. I am aware I made the grave cultural trespass of beginning a dance class on Pride Day. It happens. Take some time from your partying and take a feel good class! )

Tomorrow: Sunday, June 25th
1:00pm
Elevation Yoga: Fulton at Nassau.
$15 for the first class.

Bring a friend, bring a smile.

See you there!

Sincerely,
Patrice

http://patricemillerny.tripod.com
http://tobedatnoon.blogspot.com
  • Current Music
    [janis joplin] take a little piece of my heart
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blue

(no subject)

I have to take my CPE today ... the can-you-read-and-write-test that allows me to graduate school. And I'm supposed to be reading through the assigned reading for it .. but it's so poorly written that the first page made me slightly nauseous ... So I opted for writing. So here's a new and improved poem:

Wane

wane: the period of the decrease of the moon's illuminated visible surface; a defective edge of a board caused by remaining bark or a beveled end.



your half moon fingers
graze the edge of
this porcelain case:

we are fabled to be
made of marble, but
a darker purity
lies in our mold.

tiretracked,
the orchard lies
hidden, like some
forgotten menagerie.

glass apples,
glossed over
with an iridescent gaze:
the illusion of paradise.
a soft scent of apothecaries
the sweetest poisons
are coated over in
pitiful beauty.

your iron claw branch
reached through the strings,
plucked, arched, sanded down
these dimensions
to a single space existence.

flattened as if by stone,
the trees cower
beneath the weight of
their vial fruits -
the branches arch
unwillingly to the ground.

these fairytales,
your reasons compiling upon
these rubber grounds,
your finger to my heart,
arching unwillingly,
an acute angle,
spilling enlightenment
over these roads,
nearly gnarled,
forgone by craft.

i will meet you
in these lost corners
when our china faces
bend the light in
some twisting of,
some dancing with
those unmasked, unspoken parables
tales of how we were,
how we could have been.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do we think? I feel like I might have ruined it? I don't know!