Miss Rice (_onlysky_) wrote,
Miss Rice

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To Sir, With Love. 

dear you, 

I. mornings are hardest

  for the past week now
   i rise, make coffee, 
   still in the habit for two, 

  while dressing around 8am 
   i hear a single honk outside
   my street level window
   and believe for a moment 
   that it is you, checking in, 
   that although you normally 
   wouldn't - 
   this is what you have been 
   reduced to - a car horn in
   the morning telling me,
   you're there.

  Often after working late 
    nights it happens. 
  Waiting for the crosstown
     train, ghosts of my exes 
     stand across at the north
     -bound platform. 

    I tell them I miss you. 
     They shake their heads
      remorsefully and say 
      he knows

     Most often though, I think
       I see your car, I count 
       the nison maximas with 
       sunroofs, sitting in harlem
       where I know you have no 
       business, I saw you three 

    After the long day of chasing you
       out of my heart, at my corner
       a gold maxima, sunroof closed
       the light changes, I think

      this is how you see me.

    There are facts i chose along the way 
        not to memorize - your license plate,
        the address of the bar, the cross-
        streets of your chinese food take-
        out, all so i wouldn't find you when
        you left.

    I lied. 
    I sat in the bar waiting
     for you, on business - a
     meeting, some drinks, your
     absence. i wanted your friends
     to see me and wonder. 

   I wanted you to see me 
   walk these streets alone.

   but you didn't. 
     and like I said, I only imagine your car, 
     briefly entertained the reality of you 
     walking into the bar. You've probably
     avoided these streets, saught refuge
     in your living room, knowing better,
     knowing me better, as if seeing me
     might cause you to wonder how i am,
     maybe pull over and ask, maybe even 
     make you want to do this all over again. 


very raw, but i wanted to get it out, up. 

feedback as always. :] 



Tags: poetry, summer 07

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