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♥ ♥ They left you with nothing, and left me for dead [entries|friends|calendar]
♥ Sharky ♥

[ website | She kills, with foreign films, the emptiness of day to day ]
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New years cheers [02 Jan 2008|03:50pm]
[ mood | reborn. ]

Fresh year calls for a fresh start and thats exactly what I was yearning for.
I needed this so bad it was sickning.
How just a minute can change a year amazes me, and in a reference to time it can be compared to my life and its just what the doctor ordered, that sudden and drastic change is exactly what i wanted. and it feels good to have received it. i think thats why i cut my hair i needed something that would be fast and different. or maybe that was boredom
time will tell but this year is for me. im going to succeed in what i want to do, and im not letting anyone or anything hold me back.

so heres to 08. cheers.

1 ♥ make damn sure.

very random update [27 Sep 2007|03:07am]
[ mood | drained ]

Go Cubbies.
Fall is here, im way too excited.
I dont sleep anymore.
Halloween is right around the corner, i cant wait to be even more ghoulish
Im dooonee with dan. finally.
Im going to columbia, for advertising next sem. and im probably moving downtown.
I met a new guy, so far so good and i really hope everything works out between us he makes me realllllly happy.

Oh and did i forget a little something,
i met the love of my life matt skiba at the metro when he played there like a month ago with chuck regan.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

cant forget that!

life is gooood :)

2 ♥ make damn sure.

oops hey! [19 Apr 2007|03:56am]
[ mood | :) ]

Wow, its amazing how much of a good time you can have if you just let yourself. it sounds so stupid but its true, and im not talking dirty fun! just good clean fun. Dans words are really sinking in now, before i couldnt understand but now i do im going to enjoy being young and free while it lasts. before i thought omg, omg now that me and dan are done i have no one to hold me love me blah blah blah. but now ive realized this is my time, to have the time of my life with my girlfriends, and dans right we have the rest of our lives to be tied down to one another. i mean we do love eachother and we know that eachother is the one, and all that But right now, times with our friends are precious. and well i couldnt agree more.

its fun:)

make damn sure.

longing. [14 Mar 2007|03:03am]
[ mood | sad ]

hmm i dont know, lately i just dont feel so right, or like myself would be more accurate. I forgot what it was like to laugh, and smile for no reason, and that sounds so trite for people who are "depressed" and i guess i wouldnt say im depressed, not quite yet i dont think its considered a sickness at this point but it feels close. Im just having a really hard time with things.
I still really cant accept jackies death, and i see people around me and they seem to be moving on just fine, but i cant. i miss her so much and it hurts so much without her here. It makes me think about how amazing time is, its so crazy how time is the center of everything in the world, like how in time my heart will mend back to place, and how 4 months ago jeh was here and living. I cant understand it i just want to go back in time, and hug her and tell her how much i really did love her and appreciate our friendship, but i know i cant, i just hope she knows. I want to find peace, i want to find happiness. And i just want dan back in my life. I thought this whole us enjoying being young thing would be okay but the truth is, i need his love in my life right now more than ever.
i miss everything. I just want this to pass.
and i guess in time it will but how long. I want things to be back to the way they were before the world around me seemed to crash down.

please help me find peace.

make damn sure.

All smiles, Maria taylor, Bright eyes at the [metro] Chicago. [28 Feb 2007|02:15am]
[ mood | awake ]

This past sunday, i achieved one of the goals on my list of things to do before i die. lol Thus we can skip right over the other nonsense and i can die happy.

Thanks to amanda, for pulling conor oberst out of Smartbar for me:)

he was truly an amazing person, so soft spoken, sweet and had he brightest most beautiful eyes ive ever seen in my life.

as he walked towards me i felt my legs shake under me.Collapse )

make damn sure.

Everything must belong somewhere, I know that now, that's why I'm staying here. [29 Oct 2006|01:25am]
[ mood | calm ]

Life has been real good.
I feel good lately, like everythings where its supposed to be and everything just feels so right.
I know it sounds conceited but even everyone has been telling me that i look so good lately
and its because i am so happy. im like glowing.
and you know many say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but i think the most beautiful thing is when you realize that you are the beholder.
No one else can think that your beautiful unless you do.
and i finally have learned that. I finally feel beautiful and it shows. Confidence is everything really, and you cant love anyone else before you learn love your self.
Its easier said than done. To truly love yourself.
we all have flaws and know it, but its just that we have to realize that EVERYONE has flaws. models, moviestars, singers...etc nobodys perfect.
Once you realize that then youll get over your imperfections, and realize that you are beautiful.

But enough of that. Lets talk about my 19th b-day being in t-minus 16 days. way cool.
and this semester of school almost being over. ahh i cant wait. lol
Another thing im excited about the new Bright eyes song thats out called everything must belong somewhere. love it.
but other than that everythings grand.

im going to bed. night.

1 ♥ make damn sure.

smile [09 Oct 2006|02:30am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

were back on.
and it feels so good to finally be home again.
I love to love him.

1 ♥ make damn sure.

when i let my mind wonder it brings me right back to you [30 Aug 2006|02:22am]
[ mood | confused. ]

A lot is happening right now and i know i can vent in this journal and not get a bunch of crap for it, and not have to answer a million questions.
my mind is so busy.
I love dan so much and I miss him more than anything. I mean every passing day, I think about him and I even catch myself laughing to inside jokes we have together and I want us to be together again so bad.
But its so hard, im so scared.
My heart is in a million pieces.
I cant pick up the pieces fast enough and now this talk of us being together again is like a dream come true but at the same time the scariest thing to think about.
in my heart I see us getting married, having kids and growing old together. I just need time. I want to take this slow, so we last forever.
I cant take another heart break because this heart is still broken. and it cant possibly handle another crash.

just time. time to make a foundation of our strongest points and base our love off of that. because a love like ours comes around once in a life time, and I know that. I just need to know I can trust him and know that hes in this for love, and wont hurt me the way he did.

I dont know whats going to happen in the future but baby we gotta give it a shot.
I dont know what its like to live with you, or anything but ill never know if we dont try.
I wish you would have realized that.

I just cant stop loving you.

1 ♥ make damn sure.

no where to look but ahead [26 May 2006|05:54pm]
[ mood | so happy ]

wow i cant believe that i graduated high school already. im so excited to see what my future has in store for me now.
I feel like grown up all of a sudden like this is my real life starting right now.
No more useless drama, or people backstabbing other people, its about time we all acted cool with eachother you know?
this summer will be awesome and packed with things to do.
I start college in fall so thats going to be a whole new experience all in its own. but an exciting one at that.
♥ ♥ ♥
here i come life <3
this is the end of one chapter and the start of another and i cant wait to see what this chapters all about.

4 ♥ make damn sure.

inside jokes are awesome [06 Apr 2006|11:43pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

On the random...

big bro
jiggly puffs
pout crack
undie grunds
oh tiki tiki
net face
midnight snack
trip to the petting zoo
snasage sandwhich

And on the sayings...

i lalu so muts
honey bunches of oats
love peace chicken greese
smoochie boochies
shake a tower
out like doubt
down like clown
honkity honks wonkity donks
yoinks doinks alittle bit of boinks
hi dan its dee uhm...

8 ♥ make damn sure.

its long but really read it [24 Mar 2006|12:39am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Do you ever get in the mode where your driving, and you put on a really good record that brings back alot of good memories, and your looking all around you taking in everything your eyes can possibly see?
the skyline suddenly sparks your greatest interest, noticing how beautiful the sunset really is, and how its there everyday but were usually too busy or careless to see it.

I got sucked into that mode today, and i loved it. it was like a cleansing drive for me.
it made me think about so much, where i am in my life right now, where ive been.
and how i dont regret a thing because life is so unpredictable, and thats what makes it worthwhile.

You see we live life trying to please everyone around us but a day comes that we realize its impossible, and we become so selfish and bitter for self appreciation that we only care for ourselves
and it turns into a cycle...
when we start to lose people because we give to much, we give up and then lose people because we give nothing.
it seems like an uneven balance between happiness, and despair, in which we need both in our lives to function.
but why do we do this, and why do we feel these things?
I mean we all love to be happy, but dont always know how to achieve it, it doesnt seem so hard, think about it why dont we just take all the little things that make us happy and make them one
its mere impossible sometimes.
and then sadness
and emotion need it in our life to realize what happiness is.
if there were no such thing as sadness we wouldnt know that we were happy,cause the feeling would be non existent.
and with people and sadness its always i had or i have...
and thinking about overcoming and what weve overcome is when were happy
we need to know that we made it through or are fighting through those things to know that the light will shine again, and it will. it always does.

As messed up as life seems sometimes, in reality, even when its hardest to see it, life is perfectly balanced
the bad voids the good
the good voids the bad
everything in this world is balanced.
its all connected and perfectly in place even when it seems so messed up.

But through it all im glad to be apart of this adventure,and ill make the best of it.

2 ♥ make damn sure.

sex me up [02 Mar 2006|12:20am]
[ mood | glowing<3 ]

the love we make is so romantic, and passionate.
the way he looks at me♥
and the way we synchronize our movements.
our chemistry is amazing.
oh we make music.


and we cant get enough of each other

2 ♥ make damn sure.

Valentine's day [15 Feb 2006|07:10pm]
[ mood | innn looove ]

I had a looovely valentines day.

Danny got me 2 dozen roses [[red of course]]
a big teddy bear, which i love because it still smells like him and i cuddled with it at night like crazy
a card & chocolates.

-We went out to eat at Girdanos it was soo fun we were cracking up the whole time and i just couldnt take how much i love him.
its moments like those that you have to savor.
and i did.
Then we went to see what was at the show, but there was nothing out so we rented a movie and watched it as his house
It was as very very nice night.

Im so glad we got to spend valentines together again. I couldnt ask for a better valentine.

Oh to be in love

make damn sure.

So in love♥ [09 Feb 2006|12:20am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

I just love life lately.

♥ Im so in love with danny.


♥ I got my prom dress [[peaches]]. & it took everyones breath away.
[im not telling anyone what it looks like because i dont want anyone else to get it]
not like they will, it was the only one made in the country!

♥ I got a job in a dental office, and im quitting the OTB
this means training for school and expierence for after which is amazing.
Im really moving forward in life, and feel like im growing up finally.
and it feels wonderful.

thats all
Love dee
2 ♥ make damn sure.

Hands down, so i told him lets go. [05 Feb 2006|02:08am]
[ mood | loved ]

only me. so priceless.
So, im driving home today and the road was slippery due to the weather conditions, and ahead was an ambulence with some lady inside [her car was in a ditch] so i begin to slow down, but instead i start sliding all over the road and hit the ambulence!!! hahahahhah i seen the paramedic jump out of the way and role down the ditch, then he gets back up and we all start laughing hes like "i cant wait to tell my buddies bout this one" and we were talking and they just let me go. it was pretty awesome. And i think the new dent on my car gives it even more character. i just think its so funny, cause this poor lady was already in an accident then thinks shes safe inside the ambulence, and gets hit again! lol she must have the worst luck ever.

oh, but on another note;

i love dan♥
oh so much

i thought this was adoreable, and figured id share it with you guys.
I fell asleep at dannys house last night and he told me i was snoring. haha i was like great!
and hes like, yeah i was sleeping then i had that thing where i fell off a cliff, then i woke up and i heard you snoring alittle, i thought it was cute so for the rest of the night i just listened to you.
oh, he makes my little heart melt.

4 ♥ make damn sure.

hands down [09 Jan 2006|01:59pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Brief update &[scattered thoughts]:

Today is Dannys birthday♥, I got him two gifts, one public and one private [wink] lol
im going over there in a little bit to drop of part of his gift, and spend the day with him and his family <3 im so happy about us. i love everything about him and couldnt ask for more

- - - -

oh, back to school, back to school.
yeah today was also the first day back to school.
which doesnt make me too happy. I mean this break was absolutely amazing<3
uhhh I loved it so much.
and now school. pssh.
but...ill admit... it wasnt that bad.
im kinda just making the best of the short four months that I have left there.
its kinda crazy to be borderline done with highschool.
nonetheless, im so excited to move on to a new chapter in my life :)

- - - -

Theres a possible vacay in my near future also.
Argentina Jan. 21-29. I wanna go like woah but im scared about school.
ill probably just go, enjoy it to the fullest, and worry about everything when i get back.
lol im young, ill bounce back real fast.

- - - -

Well thats all for now.

5 ♥ make damn sure.

i dont think, that i ever loved you more [01 Jan 2006|03:06am]
[ mood | loved ]

Mark your calanders everyone.
& Lable it : Deanna being in complete bliss,
and having the best new years of her life.

Me and Danny went to this kid Oscar's house.
& e v e r y o n e was there.
it was sooo fun.
were were chatting and laughing until
the count down began
and it started 10...9...8 etc.
and Right at New years Dan kissed me,
and after the kiss, he pulled closer and said right in my ear.
will you go out with me?
i felt like i was in a movie.
I am so happy.
He couldnt of picked a more perfect time to ask me out.
Hopeless romantic♥
were both victims of that.

so were official again

January 1, 2006.
mark that too.
were together forever...


im so happy 05' is fianlly over.
ugh, what a horrible year / im so happy it's over.
fresh slate. clean. new.
its so cleansing.
[results monday.]
if all is well this year's going to start off so wonderfully<3

4 ♥ make damn sure.

I want to take you far from the cynics in this town, and kiss you on the mouth<3 [27 Dec 2005|02:27am]
[ mood | wonderful ]

I had a very merry christmas<3

with car adapter, and the works.
♪ clothes
♪ purses
♪ escada sentiment perfume
♪ britney spears fantasy
♪ the whole line of bedhead
♪ tiffanys ring
♪ make up & make up bag
♪ victoria secret bra & undies
♪ snow vest & jacket
♪ 3 books- one being angles&demons
♪ and a loot of little stuff.

and danny got me the most awesome gift in the whole world
♪ the fresh price of Bel-Air seasons dvds! which is going on the ipod
& 50 bucks to best buy so i can spruce up my ipod.
oh i love him ♥


2 ♥ make damn sure.

♪ ♪ ♪ [21 Dec 2005|10:57pm]
[ mood | Free ♥ ]

a load has been lifted off my shoulders.
i know i probably shouldnt, but,
i feel happiness max.
haha in a werid cork to "screw me over" you actually made me feel a lot better.
situational iorny? i think so.

- Cut-To -
+ CT 28th.

06' is looking very bright ♥
and im excited!

laugh often, live well, love much


5 ♥ make damn sure.

forever more ill be loving you♥ [06 Dec 2005|12:58pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

isnt it funny how things decide to happen?
and how everything happens for a reason?
somethings happened, that ive only dreamt of occurring again.
but this is real and i couldnt be happier♥ me and dan are finally together again<3 and really this time were really together. my heart feels whole again. Ugh before i was like always pushing myself to move on, move on to someone who i wanted to be just like dan & spending my days contrasting and comparing those guys ive attempted to like to dan. In which i never liked any of them because of the meer fact that they werent dan and no guy will ever be able to replace him. i only wanted dan back in my life. you see
dan and i have a love like none other. we are literally made for eachother, we were both just too stupid to realize it before. but now weve realized everything. me and dan need eachother, and nothing will ever change that.

♥ heres to the many happy years ill spend with you dan
i love you<3

5 ♥ make damn sure.

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