Tags: random nonsense

no clothes

As far as I'm aware, he doesn't even have a mole

At the school my children attend, the gym teacher is also a taekwondo instructor. (Sidenote: spellcheck thinks I should change taekwondo to wonderland. And, I mean, having a wonderland instructor would be awesome, don't get me wrong, but I'm thinking the two terms aren't quite so interchangeable as spellcheck would have me believe.) There's a program at the school on Thursdays, when some of the older kids are able to stay and take taekwondo lessons without charge. My oldest daughter is in her second year, and she's taken to it so enthusiastically the husband and I have been discussing the possibility of changing her dance lessons for more taekwondo classes. She likes dance, but she doesn't get excited about it the way she does with taekwondo. Ultimately it would be her decision, but in order to even present the option to her, we need a bit more information, such as the when, where, and how much. Since I'm the one who picks the kids up after school, the husband has suggested I should speak with the gym teacher the next time I see him.

Which of course led to this conversation via text yesterday:

The Husband 3:06 pm
If you see [gym teacher]...

Me 3:06 pm
Stab him?
Ply him with food?
Give him a puppy?
Invite him for a playdate?
Try not to stare at his mole?
Tell him you love him?

The Husband 3:17 pm
...you're weird.

Me 3:17 pm
Hey, I'm not the one leaving love messages to the gym teacher unfinished.

It should be noted that I did not, in fact, see the gym teacher and was therefore unable to relay any of the above messages. The husband seemed more eye-rolly than devastated over this.

And now: a poem!

I'm feeling indulgent today, so I have decided to share a poem. I discovered this one when it was featured on karenhealey's blog. I'm not religious, being rather agnostic, but with this particular poem I don't think it matters. It's sweet and simple and makes more sense than most full religions.

God Says Yes To Me
Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes
spaghetti cat

Ten Things for a Monday Morning

Because if seanan_mcguire can list off ten random things in her blog today, so can I.

1- The vast majority of the books I read are written by women. I don't consciously veer that way, but probably 80% of my books were written by a woman. Every so often I think I should branch out and make more of an effort to even things out, but the book I'm in the middle of reading right now has reminded me of all the reasons I don't gravitate to male authors. Look, there are some very good male authors out there, but what is interesting and relevant to them is not always what's interesting and relevant to me.

2- Less than two weeks until Christmas now! Our closet is full of Christmas presents. The husband and I both come from large families, though, so that means we're about half done. Fortunately, he gets extra work in December to pay for the rest of the family presents. Friend gifts are going to be late, though. Sorry.

3- My little one is not so little anymore. She can sit at a table and eat a bowl of cereal and milk without getting it all over the place, she shows an active interest in things like Sesame Street and music, and understands simple directions and conversations. Safe to say she's not a baby anymore. Sadface.

4- I still miss my cat.

5- There is nothing in this world that is not improved by adding cheese.

6- Nathan Fillion. Photobombing. How does that man get more awesome every time I see him doing something?

7- I not only participated in NaNoWriMo this year, but I actually won it! Nobody is more surprised than me. I didn't write anything serious, but 60 000 words of drivel is still sort of an accomplishment. Or at least it's more productive than I've ever been before, and it was fun.

8- If bad things happen in threes, that means horrible things must have stopped happening to my friends by now. You are all on notice.

9- I do not understand how people like Rick Perry can function. I just... it's unfathomable to me that someone can think that way, that he believes the things he says. I mean, ok, he's a politician and it's pretty much a given that at least some of the views he expresses are more due to his campaign team and speechwriters thinking it'll be good for him, but his statements have to resonate with someone, or there'd be no point in making them. So initial point still stands: I do not understand people who think this way. At all.

10- My socks have sharks on them. More precisely, my right sock has the shark tail and my left sock has the shark head. When I put my feet together, it's a full shark! I am far too amused by this. In my defense, though, these socks are awesome.
3x this size would be ok

GPS of Awesome

A little while ago, a friend and I were cruising around town and playing with the car's GPS system. We knew where we were going, we were just having fun with the mechanical voice. At one point, though, instead of taking us through the most obvious and efficient route, the GPS wanted to take us pretty far out of our way. So, of course, we ignored the instructions. Instead of "turn left here" we continued straight, which screwed with the system. The GPS was pretty insistent we should make a left turn, though, so every time we crossed a new street we had to ignore its instructions. And every time we did, the GPS would announce it was recalculating. In our imaginations, the GPS got slightly more irritated every time this happened. "Recalculating... turn left-- recalculating... turn l-- RECALCULATING..."

As a result, when we got far enough along the route the GPS stopped trying to get us to turn and started steering us in the direction we had intended to go in the first place, we started to giggle. We kind of wanted it to start saying things like "If you were just going to ignore my advice, why did you bother asking me in the first place? Go ahead and get lost. See if I care. Shutting down..."

Seriously, I think someone should market an irritable GPS like this. I'm pretty sure people would buy it! I would. It could be a gag gift, if nothing else. And it would amuse me.


I had an interesting conversation with my brother today. His stance was that a couple of hundred years ago, people used a higher class of language than we do today. They were better educated on the use of the language, judging from the books and other writings that have come from the time period. "Of course," he added, "people cared more about the English language back then."

I've actually seen this opinion around in a few places, and I'm not sure where people get this from. The thing is, when we see literature from a couple of hundred years ago, we're looking at the classics. We're hearing voices from the uppermost echelons of society. We are not hearing what the common people had to say, because most of them were illiterate and couldn't write if they wanted to. I'm sure they could screw with grammar in interesting and distressful ways, too. People moan and whine about the lack of literacy these days, and how nobody reeeeeads anymoooore, doom and gloom, but the thing is, we've got a much better literacy rate than any other time period. Even the peasants can read!

And let's face it: language is a living thing. It changes, it grows... English is not the same as it was hundreds of years ago, so it's hard to compare the two.

See, I love the English language. It's absurd and too big and downright cantankerous, but I like me a quirky mate. And given that I surround myself with both readers and writers, you can't convince me others don't feel the same. No language is perfect, but well, neither am I, so I'm gonna love my imperfect language with all I've got. So there.

Late Night Social Call

I had the most interesting conversation last night. Late at night, the phone rang, and the caller ID showed a name and number I don't know. Normally I don't pick up if I don't recognize the caller, but I'd seen this number show up on my caller ID before and curiosity got the better of me. Not to mention it was quite late and I figured a phone call at this hour had to be something important. So I picked up the phone.

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Later, I asked my husband if he recognized the number. Apparently this is an older gentleman and a regular customer for his delivery route. A number of his regulars seem to feel it's their right to call him on his cell phone if he's running late from his usual time, and gank the number from their caller ID when he calls to be permitted access to their apartment for the delivery. (It should be noted the company he works for doesn't guarantee times.) This is the first time we've had someone harrass us at home, though. I've asked the husband to speak to him, since I don't particularly enjoy having creepy conversations with male strangers late at night.

I'm astounded that someone thinks any part of this is an acceptable way to behave. While on the phone, I was confused and creeped out. Now, much later, I'm annoyed and creeped out, and seriously wishing I could delete my number off someone else's caller ID.
so into you

Conversations With The Husband

The Media: Dudes, Bristol Palin's breasts totally look different! Here are the before and after pictures. WE ARE SURE SHE HAS HAD A BOOB JOB.
Me: I really don't care.
The Husband: That doesn't look like a boob job. That looks like she stopped breastfeeding.

long pause

The Husband: So, uh, you can tell I'm married with three kids, can't you?
yay nez

Baby Geep

It seems science has given us the capability of creating a geep, a combination of a goat and a sheep. The animals weren't bred together, but the bits and bobs were merged in a dish, and then stuck in a womb. I guess the geep's success has scientists hoping this kind of technology will be able to help replenish the populations of endangered species. While a sheep's body will reject an unborn baby goat, it won't reject a baby geep. And while the geeps have both goat and sheep DNA, they aren't sterile, as some hybrids are. They're only able to pass on one set of DNA, though, so they can create baby sheep or baby goats, but not baby geeps. So by breeding a geep with a goat, you get more goats. If this is applied to endangered animals, well, there are all kinds of possibilities. I'm totally geeking out about this.

Also, the geep is really cute.

Of course, I'm sure there will be controversy if scientists do decide to try helping endangered species by creating geep-like chimeras. Really, though, it's just artificial insemination version 1.5, though, isn't it? We're already using artificial insemination on endangered animals, trying to breed enough specimens to ensure the survival of the species, and if creating a hybrid critter will help, why not use that? I'm just sayin'.
R2 is better than you

Really, he had me at "baby wookiee"

Because we are sad, sad people, the husband and I occasionally come up with random geeky costumes it would be fun to wear together at a convention or just for Halloween. Occasionally the kids get involved with the theme, although when that happens it tends to be something they're into. The year our oldest decided she wanted to be Batgirl for Halloween, for example, we obviously had to turn that all into a theme.

Not long ago, the husband turned to me and said "You know what would be kind of awesome? If (older girl) was Leia, (boy) was Luke, and (baby girl) was a wookiee."

I kind of stared at him for a minute. "Does that make us Padme and Darth Vader?"

"Well, technically, I think I'd be Anakin--"


"Uh, ok then. Hey, we could even get your brother involved!" (My brother is also a huge nerd.)

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure he could come up with something for that."

"Heh, wouldn't that make him Uncle Owen?"

"Nice costume. He's a burnt dead guy."

We looked at each other for a long time.

"We're going to do this, aren't we?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll even burn something for my brother to wear."