Pain

Well 2013 Fucking Blows so Far.

Leahs rheumatoid arthritis is all kinds of fucked up at the moment so she is pretty much in constant pain, its excruciatingly painful watching her cry all the time knowing there nothing i can do to rid her of it. Because of this she struggles to get things done and deal with Jiah so i feel as if there is a never ending lost of things to do, which isn't helped by the fact that Jiah wont have anything to do with me and refuses to let me pretty much go near him and has been like that for the last few weeks. So pretty much i feel like a failing partner and farther that no matter how much i try and do it isnt enough.

Plus i fucking hate my job, the overtime i was getting stoped about 1 month before christmas, i was wokring 10 hours overtime a week so thats around a extra $220 we weren't getting so money has been uber tight the last few months especially with Leah not being able to do her topless waitressing because of her health, i only take home $660 (yes i earn a epicly shit wage) a week without overtime and our rent is $330pw...... I have been able to work some over time this week and will be working 6 hours Saturday which is good, but the shit thing is because i hate my job so fucking much its also incredibly depressing as spending even 8 hours at my work is brain numbingly boring and shit. If it wasnt for my boss and the people i work with i would of left a long time ago, at the moment im waiting and hoping Costco contact me about a baking or forklift driver position . Costco are building a store in Ringwood and will be hiring people for there docklands store to train up and then transferring them over to Ringwood once its finished, my aunty's friend is a baker at the Docklands store and my farther in law has a friend who works in management there too so i have given my resume to both of them to try and get my foot in the door, im confident i will get a position there not only because of the people i know but because im confident in my ability's, its just a matter of when. Im really struggling to find things that put me in a happy place, another thing thats strange is that i feel like im on the brink of tears a lot of the time but cant actually bring myself to cry even though i know it would probably do me a world of good o.O

Also thank you so much Amanda for helping us out, you have no idea how much we appreciate it!!

BRING ON RAINBOW SERPENT!!
Pain

Samsara Highlights.

1. Standing off to the side of the stage with Leahannah around Midnight Saturday holding her tight with her snuggled into me. While standing there with Leahannah, my eyes closed, i had this thought and feeling of Leahannah being an Aes Sedai and me her Warder. I came to the conclusion that she would be best suited for either the Blue or Yellow Ajah. The reason why this was so amazing is because of the bond a Warder has to his Aes Sedai, that feeling of being connected on a higher level, being so in tuned with her im able to feel what she is thinking and share her joy and pain, willing to and wanting to protect her with all my power until death. (yes i know im a loser :P) This feeling has continued through out the week too :)

2. Hugging a random who had been hugging person after person, we had a good long hug and afterwards he said to me "you sir know how to hug, iv hugged about 30 people so far and you are certainly the best", this put a hug smile on my face and i walked away feeling enriched after being able to connect to someone who i had never met before on such a deep level.

3. Obviously my DJ set was incredible, what was even more amazing was that i wasn't nervous at any stage leading up to it, i feel into such a comfortable groove throughout the whole party, everything just seemed to work perfectly for me, i felt great from start to finish. It was so good to see so many people dancing to Dark Psy, the energy was so primal, animalistic and raw, i loved every moment of it! Especially when the dude with the nitros oxide canister burst out into the front row in the middle of my set thrusting a balloon at me screaming at me to take it as it was the only way he could think to thank me enough for the music :P What really topped off the set was after i had finished, as i was walking back out into the crowd a random dude gave me the most epic hug, it felt like we hugged for ages while thanking me profusely, i felt the most compelling sense of accomplishment and completeness.

Overall there was lots of hugging, both of randoms and people close to me, it was much needed. To be honest i wouldn't of changed anything about the party, it was the most fun and most comfortable iv felt at a doof ever, as i said earlier everything just seemed to fall into place perfectly.

Getting to spend so much quality time with my beautiful goddess out in the middle of the bush was another massive highlight, unfortunately Leahannah struggled to find her comfort zone but that still didnt stop her from being the radiating ball of light that she is :)

  • Current Music
    Kashiwa Daisuke - April.#02
Pain

Da (not so) Phat Nerd

The results are in, i weighed in at 74.7 KG this morning, down from 77.3 KG 3 months ago, im not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing..... although iv kinda been doing it a bit wrong by trying to cut and bulk at the same time, so i guess its kinda working :P Overall im pretty happy with the changes in only 8 weeks, especially my legs and back, i still don't like my little bump on my belly, squishy chest and small arms but im working on it ;) Iv still got a looooooong way to go but confident after these results ill definitely get to where i want to be :D

My 8 week work out regimen and its weight progression, exercises are in the order I do them in.


Photos of me in my underwear :P Collapse )
So after seeing my results overall iv very happy with how well i have done over the last 8 weeks, my diet was good, i worked out hard and kept on pushing myself. I was a bit disappointed with the last 2 weeks, my diet went a bit crappy for the 2nd last week and then i got sick the last week, so during the last week i didn't really do any ab work but i dont think that would of made that much of a difference.

So where do i go from here? I guess ill just keep doing what im doing except push harder, it seems to be working so why change it. In a way I actually dont really know what my goals are at the moment in regards to weight, im surprised i dropped so many kgs to be honest but i didnt really know what to expect, as i said i want to bulk up while remaining lean so i dont know if i should be aiming to drop weight or put it on....

But there are 4 areas i want to work on over the next 8 weeks:

1. Reduce the softness on my lower belly, it sucks because iv done so much ab work and can feel pretty solid abs under there but just cant see them :P
2. Reduce the softness on my chest, iv always had man boobs for as long as i can remember so would be good to get rid of them.
3. Bigger arms, especially my tri ceps, but which guy doesn't want bigger arms :P
4. Even my left side up with my right, my right hand side is noticeably bigger.

So ill be taking a week off to fully recover, especially after reading these, then getting right back into it, harder, more determined and stronger then before :D

After this next 8 week regimen im going to be doing a 6 week GVT (German Volume Training) regimen which im a little scared and excited about, its meant to be uber effective but uber brutal :P

Iv also joined a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class at Ultimate MMA which I will do doing every Friday night and Saturday afternoon which im really excited about, my 1st class is this Friday night and I will be getting awarded with my white belt ;) I have always wanted to do a martial art and I feel as if BJJ is perfect for me, iv never thrown a punch or kick in hostility in my life and don’t ever really want to so the idea of learning how to just doesn’t feel right to me. Plus I love chess and feel as if I am decent at it so the fact that BJJ gets referred to as Human Chess is rather appealing ;)

This will compliment my gym work outs really nicely, there is a certain level of mental discipline involved in lifting weights but it doesn’t come close to that of a martial art, so while im getting all bulky and strong physically my mind will be getting more focused and centred. This will also help with my core strength and flexibility making the strength gained from the gym more usable and I think its good that BJJ is a martial art that essentially requires no physical strength in order to be effective, so even though I will be getting physically stronger it will teach me how to use my body effectively and efficiently without relying on my muscles.

Pain

Battle of the Minds.

For a few months now iv been trying to find an alternative table top game from Warhammer 40k, i love Warhammer 40k but it just takes up so much time and money plus it seems pretty sloppy atm as far as balance and such goes. So iv been on a hunt for something on a smaller scale. Iv looked at Warmachine, Hordes, Mailfaux and Infinity and while they all seem like pretty awesome games none of them seemed to of overly grasped me or would be that cheap or any less time consuming. But last week i had a brain storm, im going old school, super old school and getting into playing Chess, Backgammon and Go. Especially Chess and Go where there is no randomness and both players are 100% equal, so it all comes down to strategic wit from the individual, a pure battle of the minds! It may not be as fancy as all the modern table tops games out these days but the simpleness and pureness of the games is what excites me, that victory or defeat will be achieved free from lack of balance of rule exploitation, no excuses ;) oh and its dirt cheap! What do you guys think?
Pain

Whats Going On, Who is This Guy?

Is there anything happening this Saturday during the day/late afternoon that would be suitable for Jiah and I? I have the day off and Leah really wants to get some study done and with the weather looking like its going to be uber fail i thought it best the boys get out of the house :P If theres nothing happening is anyone up for a visit from the Jiah and I, i feel like i haven't seen most of you in like a billion years so it would be great to catch up :D
Pain

1st Weigh in Results.

Results from my 1st weigh in are in, i started at 90.3kg. When i first jumped on the scales this morning they said 88.2kg (they are digital scales), then i jumped on a 2nd time just to make sure then they said 87.1kg so then i jumped on them again and then another 5-6 times and they said 87.1, so 3kg in the 1st week :D Thats way more then i expected, especially considering i didnt really do any exercise for the week due to having the plague o.O Even if it was all just water and fluid its good to know im heading in the right direction :D I weighed myself after my shower (i drink a shit load of shower water every morning :P) and i was 87.7kg :P So im gonna have to make sure to keep weighing myself 1st thing every Sunday to get accurate results as my water drinking will always vary. Plus i know theirs no way im going to keep losing that much weight each week, well at least i hope i dont, i dont imagine it would be overly healthy o.O
Pain

Weight Loss is Serious Buisness.

As of Sunday i have started a new diet and such in order to loose wight and get a bit healthier, obviously. Im taking it rather seriously as iv become very up happy with my appearance of late , im weighing in at 90.3KG and my goal is 75KG which id ideally love to reach in 3 months, but id be happy to get to it at the end of 4 months. I took photos of myself, front, side and back and have written up a little table to help me document everything as i go. Im not sure if ill upload the photos on here, i doubt anyone would want to see them anyway :P

There are 3 major changes im doing to try and achieve this; 1 is removing most carbs from my diet, instead of having 3 pieces of rye toast in the morning im now having a fruit smoothy. 2 is daily exercise, i just got myself an exercise bike and i plan on riding my bike in general more, either that or abdominal work outs. Step 2 is all on hold as im sick with a fail head cold and dont want to push it. 3 is taking a dietary supplement, Oxyelite Pro Powder. I did my homework and researched the product a great deal and understand the precautions i need to take while using it.

Iv already been advised that i was having to much fruit for my smoothie, resulting in an overload of fructose/sugar for optimum weight loss and it was also raping my liver :P So it looks like ill have to switch it up with muesli with low fat yogurt and a piece of fruit or weetbix with low fat milk and a piece of fruit.

What do you guys do to loose weight or keep it off?

Ill be sure to update at least weekly with my results :D
Pain

Video Blog.

Attention video makers/editors I looking at starting a simple video blog and was wondering what equipment i would need? Im kinda hoping i can get away with just using a simple webcam or even this Panasonic DMC-F3 which i already own? Any recommendations (the cheaper the better) as to what i would need hardware and software wise would be greatly appreciated :D <3
Pain

BeatEngines Presents Transition

Heres the line up for this Friday for those of you who asked for it :D

Transition schedule for Friday the 24th
Workshops and Demonstration Free:

9 – 9:30 Making Psy Trance music production workshop presented by Syzmix

9:30 – 10 Xbox Kinectar Demonstration Presented by Chris Vic

Main Event: $25

10 – 11 Bornvibe

11 – 12 Johny Rocka

12 – 1 Da Phat Nerd

1 – 2 Jonny vector

2 – 3 Boy From Borneo

3 – 4 Mr Peculiar

4 – 5 Projectarmind

5 – 6 Syzmix

6 - Close All in DJ verses set
Pain

Beat Magazine.

Be sure to pick yourselves up the latest copy of Beat magazine and check out page 13 ;)



Leah and i hope to see a few of you there next Friday, its gearing up to be a pretty epic night :D