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[15 Aug 2004|11:59am]
a guy was base jumping in south africa
he jumped off the cliff and his para got sucked under the waterfall
his body hit the cliffs behind the water
he broke his backbone and all of his ribs
he fell into the water underneath the fall
and tiny crabs tore away at his flesh

how pimp is that
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[15 Aug 2004|12:54am]
i went to amber's going away thinger at maddie's house, and maddie is completely awesome.

so school starts on tuesday, i've decided i am going to join guard, and i figure if i don't like it i can always quit. if i stay with it next year i'll be captain. i dont want to have to deal wiht pmsing girls all the time. but hopefully this year brian will give us a little more freedom with the outfits and the routine and things. we might even be going to new york this year for the band trip. the only bad things are all my close friends aren't on it anymore, the guard mom drives me nuts, brian is an ass, and the people on it all are annoying drama queens that pms at the same time.

other than that, i still have 340 pages in the most atrocious ( i cant spell) book ever and it took me a fair amount of time to read just as far as i am. its HORRID!

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Andy Mistler [11 Aug 2004|12:11am]
[ mood | crappy ]

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Teen dies in Carroll County crash
By Courtney Kinney
Post staff reporter

A Villa Hills teenager, just weeks from starting his senior year at Dixie Heights High School, was killed in a single-car accident in Carroll County over the weekend.
Andy Mistler, 17, died at Carroll County Memorial Hospital in Carrollton early Saturday, about 90 minutes after his car struck a tree on Ky. 389, Kentucky State Police at Dry Ridge said.
Mistler was southbound just south of English when his car left the right side of the roadway, police said. He apparently overcorrected, crossed both lanes of the road and struck a tree, police said. The car overturned, police said.
No other vehicles were involved in the wreck. Mistler was wearing a seatbelt, police said.
The teen's parents, Greg and Michele Mistler, and other friends and family talked to The Post through a relative Sunday night. Family gathered at the Mistler home in Villa Hills Sunday and described Andy as a smart and caring kid with a penchant for people, computers and art.
"He was sensitive, caring and compassionate," said an uncle, Guy Linnemann, who spoke on behalf of the family.
"He was so full of life this past year," Linnemann said. "He made so many friends."
Mistler was gifted in art and poetry, Linnemann said, and he was a "computer whiz -- a computer genius."
Mistler did computer work for everyone from his grandfather to his former grade school -- St. Joseph's in Crescent Springs.
He always looked out for the underdogs and "was very intense about his love for other people," Linnemann said. He was excited about starting his senior year at Dixie Heights and was considering studying psychology at Northern Kentucky University when he graduated, Linnemann said.
Mistler worked at LaRosa's in Crescent Springs.

i found out about this saturday night with beth and kathryn, his ex girlfriend of a year and a half. bridgette was coming up to stay with him on thursday. i hadn't really seen andy in a few years, but it still tore me up when i read that. i had a huge crush on him in seventh grade, he was the only goth kid i knew then, and he lived a few streets away from me for 13 years. i wish i was still in town to go to the funeral tomorrow but i couldn't stay, and i doubt it would've done anyone any good, as i'm not much for consoling people. it was really errie that we found out about his death when we did because colleen and beth and i had been wondering how he was doing and who he was with that same day. i just hope kat is ok, the two didn't exactly have a good breakup, and she takes things hard.

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[30 Jul 2004|12:10pm]
ok, so since the last update...

i did end up going to the lostprophets/eighteen visions/midtown show, so that was good. it pretty much just confirmed my dislike of midtown and my love of eighteen visions. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v430/space_cadette/18visions/ (pics)

tuesday i went to an awesome show, most definitely tubular dude. and it was a hardcore show 0.0 it was himsa (good music, great guitars, but no stage presence), remembering never (awesome as usual), as i lay dying (holyfuckingshitillovethem), and shadows fall (didn't see them). it was an awesome show, i knew people there and met new people, and sasha and i got invites to another show in west palm tonight that i don't think would be possible. she needs her car working, lol. the guys were so cute.

and now it looks like im going to warped tour tomorrow, which is good i guess. SPF 45! i will not burn!!! bad religion and international noise conspiracy are playing, and a few other good bands that im excited about. ive got water bottles, sunscreen, my shoes still caked with mud from last year, and no merch money. but thats ok, who needs stuff? all id get would be tshirts anyways, and i have plenty of those.

im also wanting to start a cd trading ring, where you burn a cd and send it to someone in exchange for a burnt copy of their cd. im doing it now with my capitalist casualties for a bunch of offspring, which is ok because the main cd i want has session on it, and that is the best offspring song ever. so if anyone wants to trade cds, put a comment.

and now i must go clean the house before 5!
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[20 Jul 2004|03:00pm]
hopefully tonight i'll be seeing the lostprophets, eighteen visions, and midtown. i didn't even know lostprophets were still writing songs! ticketmaster says the show is sold out, but they always have tickets at culture room, so hopefully i can get in. i'm excited about seeing eighteen visions again, and this time i'll have my camera working and there (hopefully) won't be any fog. the factory sucks for taking pictures. the background's too busy, they always have fog machines on, and there's no raised stage, it's only about three feet off the ground, where culture room is five feet off so everyone can see them. if i do get in and get pictures i'll post them on here and most likely a long discourse on ow the guys from eighteen visions are sooo hot, they just need to stop working out so much. hope everyone has as good a night as i'm planning!
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[15 Jul 2004|12:24am]
it really sucks that i just lost a friend. im sad, but im not sorry. i told her to back off because i wasnt going to be nice if she kept going. we couldve saved it if she had waited another day. i hate making people cry, but i had to get the point through her head. i think i left it ok though, because i told her that eventually i do want to be friends again, i just need some time without all the drama and i thanked her for the good times and for stopping things before we killed each other. she kept throwing stabs though the whole time trying to get in my head. but im not gonna lose sleep over this because i knew it was coming, and im not upset about it too much. like i said, im sad it had to happen, im sad i lost a friend who at one point was completely great and helped to get me out of a really rough time, but im not sorry i did it.

screw best friends forever, nothing lasts forever.

if i feel mean or something later i might post the convo, but i only have the one from tonight. last nights was better though, that one was rough.

a little advice for everyone, if somethings bugging you, tell the person, dont let it all build up.
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[13 Jul 2004|11:46pm]
today i went to lydia's house and ruben was there, i haven't seen him since athena and the library. anyways, he's got so many gashes on his arms, they raise up an inch or so off his arms, and now he's gotta get skin grafts from his legs to cover them, and he's still depressed and all that. i just wish his parents would get him help, he's been like this for over two years, and that's way too long. not to mention he's so desperate to get a girlfriend that he was hitting on me. lydia has laid claim to me though, saying that we'd be fucking if she had a dick. interesting thought. but yeah, he's really really leechy.

and today someone casually brought up when i was so messed up like ruben, and they kinda made a joke out of it. it wasn't funny having to move to a whole different climate and not knowing anyone and not relating. i know she doesn't know all of this, and i know i shouldn't blame her because i never told her, but even without knowing all that, why would you bring up a weak time in somebody's life and laugh at it.

i mean, it wasn't completely directed at me, it was just like a general thing using me as an example, but i felt really really exposed. there were people there that didn't know about any of that, and i just didn't like it.

this is why i have difficulties trusting people. they use your weaknesses against you without even knowing it sometimes.

anyways, other than that messed up junk, i now have like a billion and nine beads, and i'm making bracelets and necklaces for fun. they're the little beads too. i'm surprised my attention's holding.

i need to talk to todd, i haven't talked to him in a while.

and what do you do if someone's using you to get to concerts and such? one person can't go anywhere unless i'm there, and i really don't want to go to the interpol/cure concert. i'm not too into them, and said person is trying to get me to pay a shitload of money that i'm saving for ozzfest to go see bads i don't like. and oh the guilt trip.

but dimmu is so much better than the cure. i don't care what anyone says, you tell me seeing a dude with whacked out hair and a bunch of guys in suits is more important than seeing otep and BLACK SABBATH! i win, they lose.

(and a little musical recommendation for everyone that doesn't read this anyways, the capitalist casualties lick your bum hole in the good way)
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[08 Jul 2004|08:11pm]
"scene" kids are bothering me. since when does every genre have an elitist group to push away people that might be interested in it?

punks did it, and still kind of do it. indie kids did it. i dont think surfers do it, though im not too sure on that one. what's the point of making something so secluded that no one knows about it? these people that want to keep their music underground are lying, they want everyone to know that they did it first, because if no one knew, what good would it be liking that band?

all this elitism is driving me nuts. it's not that important who liked it first, it's who likes it that matters.

just grr.

(for irony's sake, i said this first)
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[07 Jul 2004|09:32pm]
today was painful. it's not that i don't like her, it's just that the whole time she's been gone i've been remembering the old her, not this new one obsessed with image and everything. the old her was nice to everyone and if she didn't like you she wouldn't go around telling people. i dunno, i just miss that. the old her is the one i became friends with, not this. the only reason i've been sticking with her is because i was hoping she'd change back on her own. well, to say the least, i'm never gonna see the old her again.
it makes me mad, today we were at the mall and she was talking to this girl that was completely gothed out, and being all like "i love your skirt, aww thats so cute" when to me she would've been like 'you look retarded im not going to be seen with you.' and not only was she bitching the whole time, but she was bitching that we didn't want to see her on her first day back. well maybe if you would've stopped complaining for a few seconds we'd be able to say hi.
then she pulls all this stuff dissing on the people who are right there in front of her saying things that were really rude, and then getting mad at them for calling her mean. it's really bothering me.
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[06 Jul 2004|10:18pm]
im a community whore. ive come tot he realization. hmm.
well, its back, and umm, no news yet, tomorrow's the test run. all day today i did nothing, and i loved it. it was great. i was like.......woosh
my computer hates me officially
its like dying all the time right in the middle of good songs
im making sasha a scenester cd
because i can
i need sarcastic scene songs.

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[05 Jul 2004|10:35am]
last night was interesting. frankie and lydia and nick and i enjoyed our last night of freedom. i finally met alex too. and matt and (?) who had a g-hetto chain. the guys (frankie not included) were driving around the neighborhood looking for a chlorine tablet to make some kind of explosive. so in exchange, we got matt to do whatever we wanted with and they got the tablet.

before this we had gelled nick's hair and put it in little tiny ponytails along the hawk line, and lydia had straightened alex's hair and put lipstick on frankie. it was an interesting night. we also had a very very good night of bitching about people and things.

it was good, and i'm gonna miss nights like that, even if we didn't really do anything of importance.

then i started getting all sad about kentucky and how much i miss it and the seasons. i've got to get out of florida, this place is driving me nuts.

not to mention, my whole self image thing is coming back and bleh.
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intro [04 Jul 2004|11:59pm]
ok,im done with all the shit. i need the ritual cleansing that a new summer brings. ive got this thing where i cant committ to something for more than a year, and apparently an online journal is one of them. im sorry if you feel like this is taking up your precious internet space, but i need this. i cant talk to people about some things, at least not people i know. i love the idea of online friends because the people are the kind that i can talk to when i want and ignore when i want. i dont have to be anything to them besides someone that can read what they write and try to relate. i dunno why im making this, mainly because all the drama im trying to get away from is owned by a person on my friends list, but also because i just dont feel like having to deal with school when i get home.

im sick of all the drama of highschool, im sick of people changing completely and expecting everything in the relationship to stay the same, im sick of the expectations put on me by my "friends" who are about as understanding as my parents, and im sick of myself.
this isnt the journal of a suicidal teenager, ive been through that already, dont worry. this isnt the journal of a person who'll do nothing buut dis on other people. this isnt the journal of someone pretending to be who theyre not.

its just a healthy dose of teenage angst.
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