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28 November 2011 @ 10:51 pm
[The Vampire Diaries] letting go (and holding on) - Damon/Elena  
Title: letting go (and holding on)
Author: Kagome
Series: The Vampire Diaries (television series verse)
Word Count: 663
Rating: PG
Characters, Pairings: Damon/Elena, past Stefan/Elena
Summary: Sometimes, love means letting go (and sometimes it doesn’t).
Warnings: Spoilers if you haven’t seen up to 3x09, some angst, sap, a bit of domesticity.
Notes: This was a prompt requested by angelus2hot at the TVD comment ficathon here. Prompt was: Damon/Elena, I will not cry for the love I lost but rejoice in the love I found in you.

Sometimes, love means letting go. Sometimes, it means holding on with all you’ve got.

It takes her weeks to come to terms with what ‘letting go’ really means. It takes her longer still to figure out that letting go of a person doesn’t mean that you stop loving them. What it really means is that you love yourself enough to not dwell on what could have been, and you instead cherish the memories of what once was.

It’s harder for Damon, who’s spent decades upon decades following his brother—he’s spent years that she doesn’t have, and no matter how much anger she sees in those ice-blue eyes of his, she knows that he hasn’t stopped loving Stefan, either.

She finds strength where he would declare there is weakness, and they walk this broken, bloody path side-by-side, shoulders touching. She’s learned that it isn’t always about the place that you ultimately arrive; sometimes it’s about all the places you visit in the middle.

She’s learned that just because they agreed to let him go doesn’t mean that they agreed to stop missing him. There are times when the Boarding House seems far too large for the two of them, and so she invites him over to her house instead, which is no less empty (for there are missing faces there too) but isn’t nearly as large, which means that there are less empty spaces to have to worry about filling.

She thinks of the empty place in her heart (and in Damon’s) where Stefan used to be, and doesn’t think that it will ever go away—doesn’t think that either of them truly wants it to.

She’s learned to be eternally grateful for what she has, because there are mornings when she doesn’t know what she would do if Damon wasn’t there with his trademark smirk and his horrible flirtations (which are in actuality much less horrible than she used to be willing to admit). She’s learned that his presence now puts her at ease to the same degree that it used to make her uncomfortable, and that’s saying a lot.

She has learned that, even though she doesn’t particularly care for her on any level, her vampire counterpart is sometimes correct: it is okay to love them both. For her heart is human, and human hearts change.

Or perhaps she’s finally simply willing to admit to herself what she’s known all along, and it’s taken letting Stefan go to get to where she is now.

Her declaration is not something grand or carefully calculated. It is not flowery or ridiculously beautiful or incredibly sweet. It is just this:

A sunny Sunday morning spent on the couch in front of the television while he browses through articles in the newspaper (without really reading any of them) and she finishes off a bowl of cereal. She’s noticed that, for some reason, Sundays are the hardest for him, because on Sundays, he thinks about his brother the most. She can tell in the way he speaks volumes without saying anything; she can tell in the way his shoulders hunch and his eyes get that faraway look in them. She doesn’t have or need to ask.

So instead, she remembers with him (separately), and she sets her bowl on the coffee table, reaching for one of his hands and twining her fingers with his.

“I love you too,” she says simply, effortlessly, because he’s told her more than once and she’s never let herself properly respond until now (she’s learned that she can be quite stupid sometimes, holding onto her childish ideas of a prince charming that never really was).

Damon looks at her, his eyes wide and searching. Her gaze is unwavering.

He smiles then, really smiles, and it is beautiful and broken (but both of them are) and something that Elena knows she will treasure for as long as she lives.

Damon gently squeezes her hand, and she holds on with all she’s got.

Remember when I said I am an unrepentant sap at heart? I really meant it. ^^;
angelus2hot: Vampire Diaries Damon walk byangelus2hot on November 29th, 2011 04:38 am (UTC)
Oh. My. God. This was so sad, yet so hopeful and beautifully written. Just so incredibly PERFECT!!!! Thank you!!
Kagome: TVD - kisskagome_angel on November 30th, 2011 02:35 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it!
KNOXEDgreyorchids on November 29th, 2011 05:50 am (UTC)
so sweet..Ah- I need more!
Kagome: TVD - While you're sleepingkagome_angel on November 30th, 2011 02:36 am (UTC)
Thanks very much. ^_^
(Deleted comment)
Kagome: TVD - Vampire's Heartkagome_angel on November 30th, 2011 02:41 am (UTC)
Ahhh, your review has just made me so very happy, you have no idea. I love every review I get but it's ones like these (detailed) that make me the happiest. Thank you for this review.

I wanted them both to be in-character, and I don't think either of them would just be fine and dandy after Stefan left like that. Of course, Damon's got it in his head that Stefan's betrayed him, and Elena's got it in her head that he's not going to come back--that he's never going to be the Stefan that she loves again. Granted, I'm certain he will come back, but how are they going to pick up the pieces after such a thing?

She and Damon have each other right now, and while I am sure both of them ache over Stefan's actions and his absence, this doesn't mean that they can't enjoy what they have. She's "grown up" a little more here; she knows how she feels and there's nothing "grand" or "overdone" about it: she loves Damon, and she feels the need to tell him as much, without all the fancy lines and such.

Hmm. I kind of like this as it is, but if I run across a prompt that would fit for a sequel, I might write one. ^_______^

Again, thank you soooo much for reading and commenting. I'm sorry I rambled so much.
liebestorysliebestorys on November 29th, 2011 11:39 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful. I need to read again. So well done.
Kagome: TVD - too farkagome_angel on November 30th, 2011 02:42 am (UTC)
^_____^ Thank you very much. So glad you liked.
hopelessalwayshopelessalways on November 30th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)
i love this because i think in real life, this is how it would happen. no fanfare, no frills. just elena realizing she needs to say it.


“I love you too,” she says simply, effortlessly, because he’s told her more than once and she’s never let herself properly respond until now (she’s learned that she can be quite stupid sometimes, holding onto her childish ideas of a prince charming that never really was).

Kagome: TVD - dancekagome_angel on November 30th, 2011 02:44 am (UTC)
I'm glad you feel that way about it too--it's why I wrote it this way, because I think it's very fitting, a quiet and simple admission of love without fancy words and without anything glamorous. Just love, and that in itself is beautiful enough.

I'm so glad you liked that line; it was fun to write.

Glad that you read and commented, and especially that you enjoyed the fic. Thanks so much!