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10 July 2005 @ 12:53 am
Blue Eyes - Yukido (one-sided), Gakuhai  
Title: Blue Eyes
Author: Kagome
Pairing: Yuki/Hyde (One-sided), Hyde/Gackt
Fandom: JRock, L'Arc~en~Ciel
Rating: PG
Theme: #15 - Perfect Blue
Disclaimer: No, they aren't mine. And if you sue me, you will get nothing. Unless, that is, if you want college textbooks that the bookstore will not buy back. :P
Summary: Yuki can see straight past Gackt's fake blue eyes. Hyde, unfortunately, cannot. Fifth 30_kisses challenge.



Blue Eyes



You’ve always liked the color blue, haven’t you? I recall you telling me on several occasions that it is your favorite color. I’ve seen you gazing at the sky sometimes, a wondrous look in your eyes as you take in its simple beauty – a beauty that most people take for granted every single day.

The blue glass objects – vases, paperweights, and the like – scattered around your house are only further testimony to your love of the color blue. I know you buy one new object at least once a week and place it amongst the others; then you settle back to admire your collection.

You know what? I hate the color blue. It reminds me too much of what I’ll never have, and what he has wrapped around his little finger.

I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear that you have a thing for him. There are so many good qualities about him that other people see. I know that you must see them too – his talent, his dedication… but things like that aren’t what’s most important, right? I know exactly what drew you to him from the very beginning.

His eyes are blue.

I don’t think you even pay attention to the fact that those eyes aren’t real. They’re nothing more than colored plastic, masking who he really is. Contacts, Haido-chan. That’s all they are. And yet, you look into his eyes, almost as if you are in a trance, and his fingers run gently over the palm of your hand. You smile in response, and I know all you’re seeing is blue.

It’s funny how, ever since the two of you met, I’ve never seen him with any differently colored contacts. Just blue. I suppose he wears them for you.

My eyes are brown, just like yours. Perhaps my eyes seem unclean to you. Not pure. Not like his, even though his ‘purity’ is just an illusion. You fall for things far too easily, you know? You should learn to be more careful with your judgment.

Oh, what a hypocrite I am. Here I sit, watching you. The look on your face as you gaze meaningfully up at him is almost too much for me to bear, but I cannot tear my eyes away. I know that you do not love me. I know that you will never look at me the way you look at him. Is it all because my eyes are not the perfect blue you love so much?

He gives you a bouquet of roses, and every single rose is blue. Why am I not surprised? The smile that spreads across your face and the excited “Gacchan!” that you murmur are even less surprising.

Sometimes, I wish you loved a different color, but then I realize that all Gackt would have to do is change his contacts. I bet he has an entire collection of different colors. Assorted shades of blue, grey, and green… all of them are masks. I bet he switches them to his current obsession’s liking.

Currently, he is stuck on blue, as you very well know.

I don’t think you realize, as he bends down to claim a kiss, that if Gackt were to remove those damn contacts, his eyes would be just as muddy and dull as my eyes are. He won’t remove them, though, until he’s bored with you. That will happen soon, you know.

But of course, that is the fact that is most distant from your thoughts. You won’t know anything about his intentions until it’s too late, because you’re too busy right now noticing the blueblueblue that is perfect, but at the same time, not real. I wish you would open your eyes and see that, but there’s no sense in trying to talk to you about it, because your eyes are on him and him alone. You never look at me.

He leans over and whispers something in your ear, and I can see you blushing. You think I don’t notice, but I notice a lot about you, Haido. Gackt probably thinks I cannot see his hand sliding up your leg… or maybe he knows I can and he’s making a show out of it.

I know exactly what you’re thinking as you slide off the chair you’re sitting in, grabbing his hand with your free one and dragging him out the door, barely giving me a polite glance.

It’s kind of pitiful, really, that I managed to get myself in this situation. Knowing that you’re blindly following him around and hanging onto every word he says isn’t as hard for me to deal with as the fact that I know he’ll hurt you, one of these days. Probably sooner than later, because Gackt does not seem like the type of person to hang around once he gets bored.

And as soon as he finds himself another victim, those blue pieces of plastic will be gone and replaced with another color, because that’s just how he is.

It’s funny how your favorite color is screwing you over right now. It’s got you trapped in his eyes, unable to break free. But he’ll let go soon enough, all too soon for you. And it will hurt.

He’s hiding from you – hiding behind that blue. He’ll never show his true self to you. I wish you could break out of that prison that is his eyes, but I know that by the time you realize what’s going on and actually want to get away, it’ll be far too late.

Don’t count on me to be here, Haido-chan, when he breaks your heart, because you’ve broken mine a thousand times over.

He has you trapped, and he’ll keep you exactly where you are until he’s sick of you, and then he’ll let you go, possibly without even an explanation.

He’ll leave you soon, and you’ll grow to hate the color blue almost as much as I hate it. The perfect blue of his fake eyes will break you. It’s only a matter of time.

I will wait and watch you fall. I think there will be some sort of twisted satisfaction in watching you throw away every single blue object that you own, all because of him and his perfect blue eyes.

He doesn’t love you, you know. By the time you realize that, however, he will have already pierced your heart through. You won’t know how to pick up the broken pieces when he’s finished with you. I imagine your heart will look somewhat similar to the broken pieces of blue glass that will be scattered in your studio as soon as he leaves you.

Blue will become painful to look at, because it will be the color that breaks you.

I don’t even know why you like blue…

It’s such an ugly color, after all.


~End
 
 
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