Kagome (_newworld) wrote,

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[Loveless] Four Times Ritsuka Didn't Lose His Ears (and the One Time He Did) - Soubi/Ritsuka

Title: Four Times Ritsuka Didn’t Lose His Ears (and the One Time He Did)
Author: Kagome
Series: Loveless
Word Count: 3,214
Rating: R
Characters, Pairings: Soubi/Ritsuka
Summary: Soubi wants Ritsuka’s first time to be special, and he wants Ritsuka to be absolutely certain that he is ready. Ritsuka, meanwhile, believes that he just might explode due to all the sexual frustration.
Warnings: sexual content, sap.
Notes: Requested by hmittens. Prompt was “Losing your ears means everything to me.” This was supposed to be only a drabble, but you see what happened. *LOL*


It all boiled down to a misunderstanding, Ritsuka supposed, and he knew it was his own fault. However, given his stubborn pride, he was not at all willing to claim any responsibility here—he was frustrated and upset and hurt, and Soubi had given him all of those little signs, only to have all of those ‘signs’ amount to nothing more than what they were really meant to be: Soubi had gone out of the way to show affection and appreciation as he always did, and Ritsuka (due to his confusing-as-hell hormones) had missed Soubi’s reasoning by quite a wide margin.

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel thankful over Soubi’s efforts (he always did, whether that fact went unsaid or not), but his gratitude did not keep him from pulling away from Soubi’s embrace and all but stomping over to the couch and flopping onto it, pitching a voiceless temper-tantrum that reminded him of his younger self—he thought he’d grown out of such childish things.

“Ritsuka.” Soubi’s voice was naught but kind, reverent. His touch was gentle. “Please tell me what is wrong. I can only fix an issue if I know what it is.”

Of course, it was stupid of him to assume that Soubi would just automatically know, wasn’t it? But there was a lengthy pause in which Ritsuka contemplated just how to answer, and his tail lashed back and forth as further proof of his annoyance (more at himself and the whole situation than at Soubi).

“…You did the whole candlelight dinner and all, and it was sweet, and you’ve been holding onto me like you never want to let go, and then with the kissing, and…” Here he trailed off, blushing.

“…And?” Soubi softly prompted.

Ritsuka’s face was still buried against one of the two pillows on the couch when he finally finished his explanation, and so his words were still muffled, and he said them quickly, so that they nearly ran together: “I just thought that this would be the night for me to… for us to… you know?”

Judging by the lack of response, Ritsuka could only come to the conclusion that no, Soubi did not know.

Ritsuka heaved a sigh. “My ears, Soubi. I was kind of under the assumption that you would take them from me tonight.”

Ritsuka did not want to see Soubi’s facial expression (he was probably either dumbfounded or amused) and so he kept his face buried in the pillow while he waited for his words to sink in.

“You… oh, Ritsuka.” Soubi did sound somewhat amused, but that vanished as he knelt down, brushing a kiss against the back of Ritsuka’s neck, making Ritsuka shiver. “I am sorry I misled you. I had every intention for this to be a romantic evening, and I did not intend on you assuming that sex was what I was after.”

“What if sex is what I’m after?” Once the words were out of his mouth, Ritsuka couldn’t believe he’d said them, and he blushed fiercely, wanting to do nothing more than backpedal now and make those words vanish.

Soubi chuckled, though not unkindly, and he combed his fingers through Ritsuka’s hair, pausing to scratch at his cat ears. “I know that your hormones are running rampant right now, and believe me, it’s very difficult for me to remain… innocent… with you, but I don’t think that is a step you are ready to take yet.”

“How the hell would you know if it’s a step I’m not ready to take yet?” Ritsuka bit out, bristling, because yes, those words struck a nerve.

“I know that you know it’s a step you aren’t ready to take yet,” Soubi clarified, and when Ritsuka thought about it (really thought about it), his stomach twisted into knots of nervousness, and he wanted to hate Soubi for always being damned right.

But he had discovered that when it came to Soubi, all he was capable of doing was loving him.

“I wish I could hate you for being right,” Ritsuka told his Fighter as he rolled over, finally finding the courage to look at him again. “But I don’t.”

“I am glad for that,” Soubi replied with what sounded like the utmost sincerity. He touched Ritsuka’s cheek, and Ritsuka leaned into the contact. “You’ll know when it’s right, Ritsuka. Both of us will.”

“Sap,” Ritsuka said with a soft ‘huff’, and it was true—Soubi was a sap, but that was one of the many things that Ritsuka loved about him.


He’d never had wine before, but he came to realize rather quickly that it did strange things to him. For instance, it made him hot and flushed, and it seemed to make him want the man that had pledged undying love and loyalty to him even more than he already wanted him.

He could hear Soubi and Kio quietly arguing in the kitchen, something about how Ritsuka was still too young to indulge in such things, and then Kio snorted.

“It’s my birthday, you know, Sou-chan. I don’t mind letting him have a little fun, and you shouldn’t mind it either. Maybe you’ll get to have a little fun yourself, if you catch my drift.”

Soubi’s sigh was long-suffering. “Now who’s the pervert?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Kio teased, and to Ritsuka’s alcohol-addled mind, Soubi’s friend was making quite a lot of sense (which should have been a neon, flashing warning sign in and of itself, because Kio very rarely made much sense—he was very fond of teasing, though).

He heard the scrape of a chair next, and he desperately hoped that it was Soubi coming to search for him instead of Kio.

Lady Luck proved to be on his side, as it were, for Soubi rounded the corner in the next moment, and smiled softly at Ritsuka. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ritsuka assured him, stepping closer, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of Soubi’s mouth.

And when Soubi turned his head, changing the angle just the tiniest bit so that their lips touched, Ritsuka could have sworn that something exploded, because within milliseconds, he was returning Soubi’s kiss with a hunger that he didn’t know that he possessed. His fingers were tangled in Soubi’s long hair, and when Soubi moaned against his lips, a burst of pleasure shot through him like electricity and nearly made his knees buckle.

But then Soubi seemed to come to his senses, and he started to pull away.

Ritsuka would not let him. Not yet.

“No,” he growled against Soubi’s lips, “don’t stop yet.”

“Get a room,” Kio said from behind them, and it was Ritsuka who broke away, breathing heavily and scowling at Soubi’s best friend.

Soubi’s lips found Ritsuka’s forehead, and his words were a soft murmur. “Not like this, Ritsuka. You’re more than a little tipsy, and I want you sober.”

It’s not the right time yet, a little voice inside Ritsuka’s head whispered, and Ritsuka wanted to be angry at both the voice and at Soubi for pointing out the obvious.

However, Ritsuka relented, taking a step away from Soubi. His eyes were downcast as he mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“As am I,” Soubi replied.

Though whether it was over a missed opportunity or over the fear that he might’ve hurt Ritsuka’s feelings (and Ritsuka was a little hurt, but that was beside the point), Soubi did not elaborate, and Ritsuka did not ask him to.

They continued on with their evening like nothing had happened (Ritsuka didn’t touch the wine again, either), and when Ritsuka grew sleepy, Soubi took him home and tucked him into bed like he had done since Ritsuka was twelve.

He pressed a lingering kiss to Ritsuka’s lips and softly said, “I love you,” and Ritsuka repeated the words, content for the time being to let sleeping dogs lie.

Sooner or later, the pieces would fall into place, and Ritsuka only had to wait ‘til then.


The idea occurred to him later rather than sooner, although it made no difference really, because as soon as he voiced the thought, it was rejected.

It was an evening pretty much like any other, really—they were at Soubi’s place, watching some (predictably, fittingly) sappy movie that Soubi had picked out, and Ritsuka was curled as close to Soubi’s side as he could possibly get.

It started off innocently enough with a small kiss to the side of Soubi’s neck, but when Soubi hummed lightly and encouraged more without saying a word at all, it turned a little less innocent.

Kisses turned into soft bites, and when Ritsuka added suction, Soubi groaned and pulled him into his lap. Ritsuka hissed at the contact and tilted his head back, baring his own throat, which Soubi took full advantage of.

By the time their lips touched, the need had coiled so tightly in Ritsuka’s belly that he was almost afraid that something would snap. His hands were trembling as he boldly slid them beneath Soubi’s button-up shirt in order to run his fingers along soft skin, and Soubi arched under him, a quiet hiss falling from those beautiful lips.

Ritsuka swallowed it greedily and pressed downwards, wanting more, because Soubi was hard (he could feel him, and there were too many clothes, too many) and so was he, and this whole problem could easily be taken care of if Soubi would only let him.

But then Soubi was still, and there was a hint of warning in his tone when he said Ritsuka’s name.

Of course, Ritsuka should have known better. He’d already learned that the element of surprise got him all of nowhere.

Ritsuka sighed and drew back, settling on the couch again instead of remaining on Soubi’s lap. He was going to explode from sexual frustration before he turned seventeen—he just knew it.

Forget that. He was going to explode from sexual frustration within the next five minutes.

Soubi reached for his hand and twined their fingers together. Ritsuka didn’t pull away.

Instead, he voiced the thought that had been nagging at him: “I could order you to take me.”

His Fighter tensed for a moment and then relaxed, smiling. “I am afraid that is one order I would have to disobey, Ritsuka.” He paused then, as if deep in thought himself. “The first time, at least. However, if you were to order me after that, I would all too willingly oblige.” His smile and tone were now quite devilish, and only made Ritsuka all the more frustrated.

He tried to hide his frustration for Soubi’s sake, though. After all, Soubi meant well. He always did; always wanted what was best for Ritsuka.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Ritsuka told him, and he meant it, damnit.


Even though Ritsuka was content to bury the past, it sometimes came looking for him. It clawed its way out of its grave and came after him with cold, dead hands, sharp nails, and sharper teeth.

He could manage fine during the daytime, because he was awake.

Nighttime was an entirely different story, because he could not defend himself when he was sleeping. Visions of the past tainted his dreams of the present and the future, making an oily, black mess of everything, and making his heart beat double-time.

Soubi happened to be with him on this night, and so he didn’t have to face the after-effects of his nightmare on his own. He clung to his Fighter and he let the tears run down his cheeks as his body was wracked with silent sobs. Soubi held onto him tightly—held him until his trembling subsided and his breathing and pulse slowed to a normal rate.

“I’m sorry,” Ritsuka murmured, embarrassed because of his breakdown.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Soubi replied, kissing Ritsuka’s forehead again and again. “I’m always here, Ritsuka. Even when I’m not—just remember, I’m only a call away. Whenever you need me. Whatever you need.”

With renewed desperation, Ritsuka’s lips found Soubi’s in the darkness, and he kissed him long and hard. Soubi let him. When Ritsuka straddled his partner, Soubi allowed that as well.

When Ritsuka began tugging at Soubi’s shirt with aching fingers, Soubi stopped him, and Ritsuka flopped back onto the mattress. Tears of rejection and aggravation now stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

“Ritsuka,” Soubi began, but Ritsuka interrupted him.

“You don’t have to say it,” Ritsuka said, angrily scrubbing at his eyes.

“You need to hear it,” Soubi insisted, tugging Ritsuka close and hugging him as he had just moments ago. “Listen, Ritsuka… you’re upset right now, and taking your ears from you when you are in such a state would not be fair at all to you. I wasn’t given a choice when mine were taken from me. It wasn’t sweet or special or nice, and I want it to be all of those things for you. I want it to be perfect. That means everything to me.”

Instead of commenting on Soubi’s kindness, Ritsuka said, “Why won’t you just let me stay mad at you for a while? You had to go and ruin it with all your sweet talk.”

“I’m sorry,” Soubi replied, though he sounded utterly unapologetic. “It would be against my best interests if you were to remain angry with me, though.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ritsuka replied in a dismissive tone. “Go back to sleep. I’m all right now.”

“I’ll still be here when you wake up,” Soubi promised.

“I know.”

Ritsuka eventually drifted to sleep again, feeling warm and safe and most of all, loved.


When it did happen, it was wholly unexpected and utterly spontaneous. They’d been to the movies and were going back to Soubi’s place. They were planning on turning in early since Ritsuka had school in the morning and Soubi intended on cleaning his apartment top-to-bottom.

Ritsuka brushed and flossed his teeth just like he would have on any other night, and he ventured into the living room to shoo Soubi into the bathroom so he could do the same. Tempting him with a little kiss surely wouldn’t hurt, either.

The kiss lingered longer than was necessary, though, and then Soubi’s arms were tight around him and Soubi’s scent was filling his nose and Soubi’s tongue was brushing against his own, and everything else was forgotten.

This time, it was Soubi’s hands who dipped beneath Ritsuka’s shirt. This time, it was Soubi’s lips that trailed down Ritsuka’s neck. Ritsuka gasped at the sensations, grabbing a fistful of Soubi’s hair and holding him in place.

Soubi’s nimble fingers found his nipples and rolled them, and then he was pushing Ritsuka’s shirt up and replacing his fingers with his mouth, and it was so delicious that Ritsuka couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips. Nor could he help the soft “Please” that followed.

This time, Soubi’s answer was yes instead of no.

They didn’t make it to the bedroom. Hell, they didn’t even make it out of the living room (well, Ritsuka didn’t—Soubi did, if only for a brief moment in order to fetch something that he informed Ritsuka was necessary, because said necessary item was in a drawer in his nightstand and he hadn’t planned on this happening). They sank to the floor, tongues battling while hands frantically removed clothing.

Their lips met and parted and met again, and then the both of them were gloriously naked and Ritsuka was shivering (with anticipation, not with fear) and Soubi was murmuring sweet nothings in his ear as he fit himself between Ritsuka’s thighs. On instinct, Ritsuka’s legs fell open a little wider, and when Soubi fit their hips together and ground against him, Ritsuka could have sworn that he saw brilliant stars shining behind his closed eyes. He could have sworn that his need (desire, want, longing for SoubiSoubiSoubi) was going to consume him entirely (burn him alive), but in truth, he wouldn’t have minded in the slightest if that were his fate.

Soubi set him ablaze with hands and lips and tongue, and Ritsuka watched through heavy lids, noting the possessive gleam in Soubi’s eyes, and noting the love in that gaze as well, and it was a mixture of the two that made Ritsuka’s breath hitch and made his erection twitch against his lower belly.

There was some minor discomfort (which Ritsuka was somewhat prepared for, he knew that it was a necessary evil) even after Soubi used his fingers to carefully stretch him, but all of that rapidly faded, and Ritsuka found himself moving his hips in time with Soubi’s, and digging his heels into the small of Soubi’s back, and demanding more, which Soubi readily gave.

They didn’t last long, but Ritsuka didn’t mind in the slightest.

Afterwards, Ritsuka kissed along Soubi’s back (where blunt nails had dug in and had scratched) and Soubi did the same for Ritsuka (for the carpet hadn’t been exactly kind to his skin). They held onto each other and waited for the rest of the world to catch up with them.

They would need a shower now, Ritsuka realized, but he didn’t mind that, either.

“…I’m sorry,” Soubi eventually murmured after several long moments of silence (silence, save for their heavy breathing and their racing heartbeats).

“For what?” Ritsuka queried, tilting his head so that he could press a kiss to Soubi’s chin.

“This was… unexpected and not at all how I’d envisioned it to be. It was supposed to be--”

“Perfect?” Ritsuka interjected, and Soubi nodded.

Ritsuka smiled, wrapping his tail (that was already beginning to lose sensation) around one of Soubi’s thighs. “Ever the romantic,” he said, and then: “It was perfect, Soubi. We could have been out on a boat, lost at sea in the middle of nowhere, and it still would have been perfect. I wanted that. I needed that, from you. With you. And there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that both of us were ready for this.”

It was so strange, to be the one sounding like the ‘adult’ in this situation, when Soubi was several years his senior.

Soubi grinned. “If either of us would have had doubts, I wouldn’t have let it continue.”

“No regrets, then?” Ritsuka asked. He sure as hell didn’t have any, and he was relieved when Soubi shook his head.

There was no room for regrets here—this space was already occupied with much warmer things, like love and devotion and desire and contentment.

This is perfection, Ritsuka thought as he traced the curve of Soubi’s jaw with his fingertips. This messy, unplanned, frantic, wonderful coupling had been perfect—had been what the two of them had sought all along, without even knowing it.

“Perfect,” Ritsuka mused aloud, and was quite pleased when Soubi agreed instead of arguing.

The light of early morning eventually found them in a naked tangle on the bed, eyes closed, breathing even and unlabored. Soubi had decided to forgo cleaning for the day, and Ritsuka had decided that he would be just fine if he missed one day of class.

Right now, there was nothing more important than this: Quiet togetherness, simple, sweet, right, perfect.

Please do not send me the bill from your dentist when it turns out that you have several cavities after reading this. XD
Tags: loveless, ritsukaxsoubi, soubixritsuka
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