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23 March 2009 @ 11:20 am
[Drabble] The King of Sarcasm (Has Been Dethroned) - Non-JRock, Kingdom Hearts, Axel/Roxas  
Title: The King of Sarcasm (has been Dethroned)
Author: Kagome
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language, sarcasm, innuendo.
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Axel/Roxas
Word Count: 525
Notes: This is just a cute little scene that popped in my head and wouldn’t leave me alone. XD My Roxas muse tends to flail internally a lot when it comes to Axel. FILLED WITH SARCASM-Y GOODNESS~! Pre-KHII and Pre-CoM.


Thirty minutes after being introduced to him, and Roxas was beginning to believe that this Axel person (not-person-Nobody) was the most annoying individual he had thus far encountered in his as-of-yet rather short existence.

For one, Axel liked to talk. A lot. Roxas valued silence. Secondly, Axel did not seem to be capable of appreciating well-thought-out sarcasm. Roxas had no clue if he’d been sarcastic back when he was a Somebody, because he remembered nothing of his life prior to this false existence of his, but he was sarcastic now. He’d raised sarcasm to an art form; he was king here, and Axel was far less—wasn’t even a lowly servant, or a peasant in Roxas’ kingdom. He didn’t deserve to be here with him, breathing his air, because he didn’t understand, whether Roxas’ returned (quipped) comments were laced with sarcasm or dripping with it.

Axel didn’t understand him, obviously, and because of that, Roxas didn’t really want to have anything to do with him. They would be allies, yes. Brothers-in-arms, maybe (brothers who liked to glare at each other across the table and mutter death threats, perhaps), but they would not be friends. Were Nobodies even capable of having friends, anyway? Roxas didn’t know because he’d never tried.

“Hey kid,” Axel suddenly said, his annoying voice filtering through Roxas’ thoughts, “I’m making an effort here; you should, too.”

Since Axel obviously didn’t understand Roxas’ brand of sarcasm, the blonde went for the more direct approach—one which could not be misinterpreted. “Fuck you.” Which, in less (and decidedly cruder) words, meant: I don’t like you and I don’t want to get to know you, so go away.

“Oh,” Axel gasped melodramatically, one gloved hand moving to momentarily cover his mouth in the pretense of shock, “but we barely know each other. You have to take me out to dinner first.” His lips quirked then into a small smirk. “And I hate to tell you kid, but I don’t do bottom—I’d be the one doing the fucking, thank you very much.”

Roxas was pretty sure then that he felt both his jaw and his imaginary crown hit the floor. Perhaps he’d been wrong about this strange… stranger that liked to talk too much. Perhaps Axel actually appreciated sarcasm, too.

Well, this changed things, didn’t it?

“You wish,” Roxas finally managed to retort, grimacing when he realized just how very pathetic his comeback was.

“Give me a little time, and I might warm up to the idea~,” Axel replied, his words full of feigned sweetness. “Maybe you will, too.”

Without another word, Roxas turned from his companion (or, rather, his acquaintance—his not-friend who just happened to be breathing the same air he was breathing) and walked away, not wanting the redhead to see his face, because he was pretty damn sure he was blushing.

And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was smiling, and he certainly couldn’t let Axel see that--not right now, anyway.

Because he was beginning to think that maybe getting to know this Axel person (not-person-Nobody) a little better wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.
-------------------------------------------

Flustered, smiling Roxas FTW. XD He should not underestimate Axel, should he?
 
 
Current Mood: sillysilly
 
 
 
月子bubblegumtotchi on March 23rd, 2009 03:32 pm (UTC)
*gigglefits* Oh Roxas, you silly, silly boy. XD

“Oh,” Axel gasped melodramatically, one gloved hand moving to momentarily cover his mouth in the pretense of shock, “but we barely know each other. You have to take me out to dinner first.”

I snorted. Literally. XDDD



[oh, and just as an aside, the boys are requested (ordered xP) to be at Totchi's place tomorrow night for JJ's surprise birthday party. Not something that's actually gonna be RP'd, just something you should know. ^^ Sorta like whatever the Dork Brigade is planning for Totchi's bday, which is NEXT Tuesday (though I've been told he should probably be considered incommunicado that day, as Kai seems to have his own plans... which seem to involve my poor innocent (:P) muse being tied to the bed ;D)]
Kagome_newworld on March 23rd, 2009 03:37 pm (UTC)
I could not help myself. I tried, and I failed. Miserably. XD My god they're insane.

Now, if I could just get some inspriation for Death Note fic(lets). I have been wanting badly to write them but have had no inspiration! D: I just finished another Tom/Bill last night (which I suppose should take priority since I'm doing that 100 prompts thing. x_x).



[Okays. Thanks for letting me know~. I'll be working tomorrow night, but. XDXDXD And hey, being tied to the bed on your birthday is always fun. ^_~ <3333333]
月子bubblegumtotchi on March 23rd, 2009 04:01 pm (UTC)
They are... and we love them for it. XD

HERE! *hands you inspiration* (sounded good anyway, considering mine and Miha's muses are being greedy lately... shower!sex for the two in the icon - who weren't even SUPPOSED to hook up, mind you lol, mile-high-club!sex for Koki & Ueda, office!sex for Yoshiki and Sugizo... greedy bastards :P) Yes, the Tom/Bill comes first. *nods*




[I had no doubt they'd be there...or murder me in my sleep if I left them out. :P And I think JJ is planning Totchi's for next Monday night, since that seems to be the best night for most everybody. Which should be interesting, cuz it will be the first big thing that's gone on since Jin and Junichi hooked up (which no one but Vicky actually knows about yet.... she caught them in bed together. XD;; I'll keep you posted. XD

ETA - And yes, Totchi certainly seems to think so anyway, judging by the all-too-innocent look he keeps giving me. :P]

Edited at 2009-03-23 04:02 pm (UTC)
mishy, or eli, or Liz, just pick one♥: [♥  all we need is us♥ ]mishiru_shi on March 23rd, 2009 04:05 pm (UTC)
I'm not really into axel/roxas thing but I have to admit this drabble is making me think/feel so different ;;
I love it!

It's really the kind of relationship I want to believe between them
You are always making my days with your things ;^;
Kagome_newworld on March 23rd, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
I loved them from the beginning because of the cuteness and the snark and Axel's insane determination to get Roxas back and make him remember. <3333 Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed this even if Axel/Roxas isn't your favorite pairing. ^_^
♠ pretty boy says: Axel Roxas no homo. =Dobstinate_fate on March 23rd, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC)
I totally agree with mishiru_shi. This is just... so undeniably them that it's hard to believe it could be any other way. xD

Usually people jump straight to the mm-mm-bang-bang--which I don't have a problem with, if it's done really nicely--and it's quaint, sweet stuff like this that reminds me why I really do like the pairing. Because there is substance, there is something there, and it's the tension between them that, oh, say, makes either one of them into a flustered, blushing, smiling little boy again that is really what makes it real.

Cute idea, too, by the way. >P
Kagome: Death Note - Ninja Hotlinekagome_angel on March 23rd, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC)
I tend to go all over the place, writing these two. I write angst, I write fluff, I write complete snark (and the snark more often than not finds its way into the fluff, because that's just how I see them acting with one another). :D

I can never seem to write just porn with these two, though. ^^; There's always some underlying something going on, you know? Mostly Axel trying to figure out just WTF is going on. *LOL*

Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. <3
(Deleted comment)
Kagome: KH2 - Naughty AkuRokukagome_angel on March 23rd, 2009 05:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you~! I could picture Roxas flailing in my mind when I wrote this, so it seemed perfect. XD

*snuggles and kisses your arm* Yes, that game can definitely make your arm sore. :/
roterhimmel on March 23rd, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC)
*FLAIL* - *KEYBOARD SMASH*

fsgjkdfsgj;ehf wuio twuio34jhr!!1!one!!

I LOVE IT A LOT, LIKE, I WANT TO BEAR YOUR CHILDREN AND DO INDECENT THINGS WITH THIS ROXAS AND AXEL RIGHT NOW.

:DDD

Since Axel obviously didn’t understand Roxas’ brand of sarcasm, the blonde went for the more direct approach—one which could not be misinterpreted. “Fuck you.” Which, in less (and decidedly cruder) words, meant: I don’t like you and I don’t want to get to know you, so go away.

“Oh,” Axel gasped melodramatically, one gloved hand moving to momentarily cover his mouth in the pretense of shock, “but we barely know each other. You have to take me out to dinner first.” His lips quirked then into a small smirk. “And I hate to tell you kid, but I don’t do bottom—I’d be the one doing the fucking, thank you very much.”


SO MUCH WIN HERE!!!!! *brainded from teh CAPSLOCK*

Sorry for this spazzing, I just... kind of read this thing in the right moment of time, in the right situation and it killed my brain cells :D
Kagome_newworld on March 23rd, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
Your comments always make me so happy. XDXDXD *CUDDLES* STILL WANT TO BEAR MY CHILDREN??? :DDDDDDDD *SHOT* <33333333

I could not resist, because I seem to always manage to sneak some form of snarky Roxas and Axel into fics, when I write about them. Making this one full of sarcasm was just... too much fun. XD I'm glad you like it, and I certainly don't mind the spazzing. <3333

(Deleted comment)
Kagome_newworld on March 23rd, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting! XD And oh my god. Naked pillow fight? *dies laughing* Priceless.
(Deleted comment)
Kagome_newworld on March 25th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
XD Good. I'm glad~! <3
Railenthe Y. Zeal: Chibi Sorarailenthe on March 26th, 2009 05:14 am (UTC)
Oh. O gods.
*Cracks up laughing and draws the confused stares of friends around the room.*
Oh geez, but this is hilarious. That is exactly something that Axel would pull, too... I just adore his snarkiness. <3
Kagome_newworld on March 26th, 2009 03:13 pm (UTC)
*giggles* I'm glad you liked it~. I can picture Axel doing something like this too, which was why it had to be written. XD Thank you for reading and commenting!