Prompt: Way too many songs. See notes at the end of the fic. :)
Warnings: some angst, sexual content (threesome alert~), language, confused!Jacob. Spoilers for Twilight through part of Breaking Dawn, and then it spirals into AU, I suppose. XD No Nessie, no imprinting.
Rating: NC-17 to be safe
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella/Jacob, Seth, Leah, appearance of Rosalie.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Summary: It’s not as though he doesn’t have options: He can run or he can stay; he can give them what they want or make them leave; he can try to reconcile with them or he can stay angry; he can lie to himself and to them, or he can tell the truth. Which road should he take?
Comments: I have read all of the books like a crazy addict (though I have yet to actually watch Twilight), and of course, I fell in love with the Edward/Bella/Jacob idea. This is a ‘what-if’ kind of fic. No Nessie, though I must tell you all that I do adore her. Not an anti-Jacob/Nessie person. I’m just… more intrigued by the threesome idea. XD Anyway, this fic is long. Thirty-three pages, to be precise. 14,012 words. I hope you enjoy it. ^_^ Posted in two parts, because it's too long to post in one.
Continued from here.
iv. It’s easier to lie
Jacob stayed put in La Push for a solid month, and during that time, he tried to patch things up with Sam. At first, he’d been angry, and then he’d finally admitted that he would have said the same thing, had Edward and Bella asked him instead. He’d grown… fond of the Cullens. He considered them allies, and he trusted their judgment.
“They didn’t want my permission, though,” he’d told Jacob. “They wanted yours.”
Even though they were still on friendly terms, things weren’t the same. A pack could not exist with two Alphas, and so Jacob had elected to go off on his own. He’d had no intention of recruiting anyone to join him, and so he hadn’t. He’d had no control over the fact that Seth and Leah had decided to follow him around, though. Seth had said that it was because he liked Jacob best (this had made Jacob snort) and Leah had said that it was for the sake of convenience—it meant that she didn’t have to stick around with Sam and hurt anymore. At least, not as badly as she had been turning. Plus, she’d promised not to give Jacob shit about his private thoughts (which never stayed private and revolved more and more around Edward and Bella as of late).
Once a week, Seth went to see them, and because Jacob refused to go, Leah tagged along with her brother. Jacob always stayed behind with his thoughts, not quite ready to face the two of them just yet, though he couldn’t say why. According to Seth, the danger involved was little to none, because Bella was surprisingly in-control of herself for a newborn. She had not tasted human blood, and she had not tried to attack anyone. Seth had said that she’d even seen Charlie and he’d gotten away unscathed. There was proof of that, because Charlie had just recently visited Billy and Jacob had not noticed any injuries at all.
“She just holds her breath,” Seth had explained excitedly, like it was just that simple. “She hugged him and everything, and there wasn’t even a moment when she wasn’t in control. She’s special, Jake. And still very much the girl we knew before. And Charlie knows she’s different, of course, but he doesn’t even want all of the details. All that matters to him now is that she’s happy and safe.”
Yet again, it seemed that Jacob had been proven wrong, and yet again, he was not eager to admit it.
Today was Friday—the day that Seth and Leah usually went ‘visiting’. Again, Jacob stayed behind, on their territory, and he dozed, knowing that Seth and Leah would give him a full report when they returned.
He could hear Seth’s thoughts long before he could see him: They want to see you. Something about… uh. Owing you answers. Figured it’s important.
Seth was pretending to be obtuse for the sake of being polite. Leah, on the other hand, did not grant Jacob the same courtesy. He could hear her annoyance when she thought, We know what you’ve been dreaming, Jacob. You make us feel a sort of longing that we don’t want or need, so why don’t you just go see them already and figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out?
After much prodding and prompting, Jacob finally stood, intent on going to see Edward and Bella, though not only for himself. If it would get Seth and Leah to shut the hell up….
As he was running, following the path Leah and Seth had taken, he heard Seth’s thoughts again: They have their own place now. A little cottage not far from the house. I knew you’d be able to find it yourself, but I just wanted to give you a heads-up.
Thanks, Jacob thought quickly, before focusing all of his attention on the task at hand. Today, for better of worse, he would get his answers. He would not leave until he did.
It wasn’t difficult to find the cottage. All he had to do was follow Seth’s and Leah’s scents, and before he’d approached it, he could smell Edward, too. And a new scent, which he knew had to be Bella. Steeling himself, he changed back into human form, tugged on the shorts he’d been carrying around (which he still considered to be a terrible nuisance), and knocked on the door—knocked, instead of just barging in, though he did consider doing the latter.
It was Bella who answered, and she was different. She was paler than she used to be, and her hair was perfectly in place in a way that it could not have been if she were human, still. The biggest difference, he supposed, was the fact that her eyes were red, and no longer the warm chocolate-brown he’d loved so much. This would take some getting used to, if they were truly going to stay.
“Hey Jake,” she said warmly, smiling. “We were hoping you would come back soon.” And when she moved to hug him, Jacob tensed a little, but as soon as her arms were around him, he sensed no danger. Somehow, he simply knew that she would not hurt him.
He slid his arms around her waist, hugging her to himself. She was colder, of course—another thing he supposed he would have to get used to.
Jacob tried to be angry with her for choosing the path that she had chosen. He tried to feel some animosity towards Edward (who was watching them from a short distance away and smiling faintly), but he couldn’t. Bella was here, and she was safe and happy and still alive in a sense, and so Jacob couldn’t help but be happy, too. She’d told him once that his pain was her pain and his happiness her happiness. It went both ways. It always had, and it still did, even now.
“Just don’t eat me,” he warned jokingly, and she laughed. Her voice was higher than it used to be, though not entirely unpleasantly so.
“I’ve already fed,” she told him. “Mountain Lion. Edward’s favorite, and mine too.” She pulled back slightly, grinning up at him. “Besides, I couldn’t drink your blood. You stink too much.”
Jacob rolled his eyes, his smile widening. “Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly a bed of roses, Bells.”
It was surprising how easy this was. They were Jacob and Bella again—best friends. They clicked, and almost everything seemed to be in its proper place. Perhaps it shouldn’t have been so easy.
Perhaps this was just the calm before the storm.
“… Answers,” he eventually reminded her, his tone now serious. She nodded and stepped away from him, looking at her husband, who also nodded.
“Come in, Jacob,” he invited. “Have a seat. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”
Calm before the storm, after all. But Jacob stepped inside nonetheless, closing the door and crossing the room, sitting down on the small couch in the middle of the living room. He had to tread carefully—some of the beams were quite low, and it would have been very easy for him to smack his head on one of them.
“Tell me what’s been going on,” Jacob insisted, resting his hands on his legs. “I want to know why you came after me that day, Edward, and why you looked at me like that… And Bella, I want to know why you’re not making this any easier on me when you’ve made your choice already.”
Maybe none of the answers would consist of anything he truly wanted to hear, but he needed to, and that made all the difference.
Edward and Bella shared another look, hands reaching for one another, fingers intertwining.
“My part is simple enough,” Bella began. “Simple to explain, anyway, and even clearer now than it used to be. The thing is, Jacob… You know you were right, when you said that I loved you too, back then. I still love you, even now, and I still want you.”
That admittance alone was enough to nearly knock the breath out of him. But he noticed something even more surprising: Edward was still holding her hand. He did not look angry or upset in the least. The look in his eyes was nearly one of empathy.
“Explain,” Jacob demanded, his eyes now on Edward, because Jacob himself was still on the outside, looking in.
Edward cleared his throat. “You must be wondering why I’m not furious.”
Edward looked away, and then back at Jacob. “For one, I could never be angry at her. Secondly, she wasn’t the only one who wanted you at our wedding. I wanted you there, too. I’ve wanted you here this whole time, with us, because she and I had a very serious discussion and I think that maybe it… Maybe it wasn’t just her that I’d been waiting for, for so long. I think that I’ve been waiting for you, too.” His hold tightened on Bella’s hand, but Jacob did not notice. Nor did he notice Bella’s reassuring squeeze. He was too busy gaping at them, scarcely daring to believe what he’d just heard. And how could Edward explain it so fucking calmly, like he was simply talking about the weather?!
Edward smiled. “I’ve had a while to think about it, and I figured it would be easier to just cut to the chase, since you don’t seem to pick up on hints very well. Then again, you are a wolf. What else should I expect?”
Any other time, and Jacob would have bristled at what he would have perceived to be an insult. Now, he could only sit there and stare, mouth half-open. Deliberately, he thought of the dreams he’d been having more and more frequently lately, and he was sure to focus on the details. He’d never done this before in Edward’s presence—not when his dreams had been of Edward and human Bella; he’d always consciously kept the dreams shoved to the back of his mind because he hadn’t wanted to risk the embarrassment.
The question he didn’t ask was directed at Edward. This is something you’ve been thinking of?</i>
He didn’t miss Edward’s sharp gasp. “Yes.”
”Yes what?” Bella asked her husband, now looking confused.
“He… showed me a dream he’s been having. I just admitted that it was something we’ve been thinking of.”
She smiled, leaning closer to Edward. “A good dream, then?”
Her eyes were on Jacob now, making him fidget a little. “Do you want that too, Jake? What you’ve been dreaming? We want you to have that. We want you to stay.”
They were suddenly very, very close, and Jacob didn’t remember seeing them move. He didn’t remember how to breathe, either, it seemed.
“Do you want to stay?” Edward’s voice was very gentle, and Jacob could see the longing in those topaz eyes again. The only difference was that he now knew why it was there.
“Please?” Bella’s voice was gentle, too—gentle and sweet, and Jacob knew that they were not lying to him.
He just couldn’t quite bring himself to believe that something like this was actually happening.
He finally managed one word. “No,” he said, even though the rest of him was screaming yes. He bolted then, leaving them behind yet again. He had phased into wolf form before his feet had even hit the front steps.
“We’ll be waiting for you,” he heard Edward call, and he felt a sudden sense of déjà vu. He’d said that before, hadn’t he? The last time Jacob had visited them. He made it sound like waiting wasn’t an issue.
Maybe it wasn’t, when you had forever to wait.
Jacob had lied to them. In his state of near-panic and shock, he had lied. He’d always been taught that telling the truth was best.
But sometimes, it was just easier to lie.
v. And you say stay
A week-and-a-half later, Jacob still had not gone anywhere near the little cottage, and Seth and Leah were getting restless. Leah had even gone so far as to call him a coward, which Jacob had to admit wasn’t far from the truth. But still….
“Would you prefer if I ran off and slept with the vampires, then?” Jacob retorted, glaring at her.
She shook her head. “It isn’t like that, Jacob. You are our Alpha, and your misery is ours, whether we like it or not—and of course we don’t.”
“What my wonderful sister means is that we want you to be happy,” Seth told him. “Just go see them. Work something out. I know you’re kinda… hesitant, but figuring this out instead of hiding from it would be a lot better for all of us.”
Jacob didn’t want to admit that they were right, even though he knew they were.
Which was why he wound up going right back to the cottage, on two legs this time – as a human – rather than on four legs as a wolf. He didn’t knock—he just opened the door, and he found them curled up together on the couch, watching the fire.
They looked at him as though they couldn’t believe he was actually there. He wasn’t sure if he believed he was there, himself.
They sat there, staring at him, and Jacob stared back, not yet daring to move.
“I told you he’d come back,” Edward told Bella, and then they were moving, though slowly this time, presumably giving him the chance to run (again) if that was what he wanted.
Jacob held his ground and spoke: “I’m still trying to digest all of this. I still don’t know what I should do.”
”It’s a lot to try to take in,” Edward said agreeably.
“You could stay,” Bella offered, and there was hope in her voice, in her eyes. “That’s what we’ve wanted all along.”
Jacob stood there, shaking, eyes widened in disbelief (even hearing it now was almost too much), something very similar to panic once again sending adrenaline coursing through his veins. He was not angry, so there was no danger of him phasing right now—he was simply uncertain and afraid, and he wasn’t sure how to process all of this.
Edward heard the jumbled mess of his thoughts, of course, and softly said, “You don’t have to be. You don’t have to think so much, right now.”
Jacob shook his head, still trembling. He did have to think, because he believed that was the only way any of this would make sense. He had to think it through. This still made no sense at all, even now. Even after they’d told him the truth. They - both of them – wanted him here?
“We do,” Edward replied, answering his unspoken question. So calm and collected, as always, and Jacob felt like he was falling to pieces. Edward sounded like he was talking a crazy person out of committing suicide. Maybe he was onto something, though, since it seemed that every time Jacob turned his back on them, it felt like he lost pieces of himself.
“Please, Jake?” Bella asked, and Jacob’s eyes darted almost warily to her. His pulse was beating wildly—erratic, staccato. A trapped bird trying to escape. The ‘fight or flight’ response had fully kicked in, and he had a choice: he could stay, or he could go.
He looked back and forth between the two of them, finding sincerity and longing and reassurance in their eyes, and perhaps even something akin to pain. Hadn’t all of them suffered enough of that?
“You’re right,” Edward agreed, and he and Bella took another slow (for them, anyway) half-step forward. There was still a lot of space between them, but Jacob reacted immediately, upper body jerking back a little though his feet remained firmly in place.
Jacob was torn between turning and getting the hell out of there (which was his typical response lately) and falling to his knees and asking them if he could truly stay (which was not typical of him—it was new and different and frightening, and he lacked the gift of predicting the future, so he did not know where the second option would lead him).
Edward’s voice was slightly strained. “You don’t really want to leave.” It wasn’t a question.
Jacob couldn’t find the words to answer.
They took another half-step forward, and Jacob felt his strength leave him—felt his desire to leave crumble when faced with her – and his - fear over what might happen if he took off again. He felt ridiculous and weak as gravity took hold of him, harsh and unforgiving.
His knees never hit the floor. Between one blink and the next, they had made it to his side, and their hands were on him, helping to support him. He dimly registered Bella’s mouth, too, against his own, and after a moment of shock, he began to respond, arms winding around her waist and pulling her closer. The whole time, Edward’s hands were on him, helping to keep him upright.
Kissing this Bella and kissing human Bella was different and yet the same. She responded eagerly now, with more passion than Jacob could have ever been prepared for, but there was still a certain sweetness to it. This time, she let him be as greedy as he wanted.
He broke away from Bella’s mouth and blindly searched for Edward’s without thought or hesitation, and when their lips met, he heard Bella make a soft sound low in her throat (one that was obviously the opposite of displeasure); he felt Edward’s lips part for his questing tongue, and his pulse sped again, stomach suddenly feeling like it contained a million butterflies.
Kissing Edward was unlike anything he’d ever imagined—not that he’d imagined it. Well, not frequently, at least. Or not terribly frequently, except for only almost every day lately. He felt Edward smile at his thoughts and growled a little, deepening the kiss until Edward made that sound, too—or rather, one that was very similar to the sound Bella had just made.
Kissing Edward reminded him of cool drinks of water from the river; it reminded him of running freely, unchained, through the woods with the wind blowing through his fur; it reminded him of standing out in the rain in the middle of summer and welcoming it instead of getting annoyed by it and wishing it would go away, like children often did.
Mostly, it was simply indescribable, and somewhere between the fourth brush of Edward’s tongue against his own and the slow, gentle slide of Bella’s fingers underneath his shirt, Jacob stopped trying to come up with comparisons.
Eventually, Edward drew back, looking a little dazed, and Jacob felt some of his anxiety melt away. He felt a little smug right now, in fact. Just a tiny bit.
“We’ll be careful,” Edward promised, and Jacob looked between them, suddenly feeling uncertain again. Careful? Careful with wha--oh.
Jacob shook his head, only just now realizing that he had moved one of his arms from around Bella’s waist, and he had the front of Edward’s shirt in a white-knuckled grip. “You don’t have to be… I--”
And here, he interrupted himself with a low hiss and a shudder as Bella’s clever fingers found his nipples and brushed over them. He didn’t recall them being that sensitive before.
Edward smiled, combing his fingers through Bella’s hair. “That was rude of you, love. He was trying to tell us something.”
“Sorry,” Bella replied, not at all looking the slightest bit apologetic as she leaned up and pressed her lips to the corner of Jacob’s mouth. “Do continue.” When had she gotten so bold?
“I heal quickly,” Jacob finished, and there were the butterflies again, only it felt like there were more of them now, and they were fluttering their wings frantically. He wasn’t afraid of them hurting him—at least, not physically. They could break him in other ways, he knew. It had already happened, in a sense, and he had welcomed it then—welcomed it to keep her happy.
He saw the instant pang of regret in Edward’s eyes, heard Bella draw in a breath that wasn’t necessary. It sounded like it pained her.
“Stay,” they said together, with meaning. It might have been a plea.
And Jacob, not trusting his voice, wordlessly nodded his assent.
vi. Too long trying to resist it
Logically, Jacob knew that on some level, this just wasn’t right. Vampires and werewolves were enemies, not allies (though they’d already proven that wrong once, hadn’t they?) and certainly not lovers (and they were proving that wrong now, apparently). This went against nature itself.
He heard Edward chuckle at his thoughts. “We’ve always forged our own path, though, haven’t we? Always made our own rules.”
Bella’s fingers, then, on his cheek, redirecting his attention: “Does this feel wrong?”
Jacob didn’t even have to think about his answer. “No.” Maybe it should have felt wrong--should have, but didn’t. That was the key here. That was what made everything fall into place with an inaudible and yet tangible click. He was sure he felt it, somewhere between the span of one heartbeat and the next.
And so, between them (Bella below and Edward above), Jacob learned a new kind of balance—he learned that he somehow fit perfectly with them, and that he did not tip the scales too far to one side or the other. He learned that when their cool lips or fingers brushed against his over-heated skin, it didn’t make him shiver, at least, not from the cold. It seemed as if their body temperatures negated one another, making each touch and each kiss neutral, neither fire nor ice, but something in the middle—something that Jacob could not think of because all of his blood was far too busy rushing elsewhere.
Another small laugh from Edward. “His thoughts are still surprisingly coherent, love. Perhaps we should do something about that?”
Her smile was decidedly wicked, and not at all in a bad way, either. Jacob had never seen her look this way before, so this was a first for him (hell, what about all of this wasn’t a first for him?). It sent those butterflies fluttering like crazy again, and then the touch of Edward’s lips to the place where his neck met his shoulder sent heat sliding down to his lower belly in a crazy spiral.
Bella shifted beneath him, her thighs falling open a little more in what he knew was a teasing invitation, and her hips lifted the same moment she tugged his mouth down to hers so that she could kiss him again. This time, it was her tongue that explored his mouth, and he welcomed the intrusion, kissing her back with a fierceness that surprised her, and surprised him, too.
“Have you been holding that back?” she asked in that quiet, inquisitive tone of hers when he managed to tear himself away from her in order to drag in a few ragged, heavy breaths (he still needed air, though they did not).
“Maybe?” But his answer was just as much a question as hers.
“Yes,” Edward murmured, answering for both of them. His fingers were suddenly underneath Jacob’s chin, and Jacob turned his head without further prompting, though he wasn’t quite prepared for the onslaught that Edward’s lips against his own provided. It was a little different now, because it seemed with each kiss and with each touch, all of them grew a little bolder—a little less worried that this was all some dream that would fade by morning.
Edward growled into his mouth and Jacob swallowed the sound as Edward kissed him even harder, perhaps trying to force him to realize that he wasn’t dreaming and that things would be exactly as they were now, come morning.
Jacob still had his doubts – perhaps he should have been named Thomas instead – and as much as he wanted to be reassured by them, there still was no absolute certainty. He’d already lost, so he couldn’t suddenly win everything could he?
Suddenly, he wondered what the daylight would bring; he wondered if their request for him to stay would last beyond that point, or if….
“You’re still thinking entirely too much,” Edward informed, not quite parting his lips from Jacob’s. The words were roughly spoken—a mix of anger and lust. Only one of those emotions was directed at Jacob in its entirety, and he knew exactly which one it was. He still did not flinch away from it. He’d never really backed down from Edward Cullen before, even when he’d known his fate. No point in starting now, right?
“Jake,” Bella whispered, lifting her hips again and grinding, making Jacob release a small whimper against Edward’s lips, “will you stop? There’s nothing to worry about. Not here, with us.”
Jacob didn’t understand how she could speak with such certainty, but he decided it was perhaps best not to question it tonight. She was pleading with him to stop worrying, after all, and he could tell that Edward was trying his damndest to erase the negative thoughts – or maybe every thought – from his mind. Maybe it would be better to give his brain a rest. No use in trying to work this complicated mess out when the two of them were so set on him not thinking about it.
He had to tear himself away from Edward, too. More deep, uneven breaths, and he forced himself to slow it down lest he start hyperventilating, which would have been very unsexy.
“I could taste you on his tongue,” Edward suddenly said when Jacob felt that he’d regained control of his breathing. He was talking to Bella, obviously.
“I bet you could taste him on me, too,” Bella replied. An offer. A challenge. She wanted it as badly as Jacob knew Edward did, and as a rule, neither of them had ever been able to deny her anything she wanted.
Jacob started to slide over to make room, but Edward’s hands kept him in place, and he quickly realized the reason for it as soon as Edward leaned down to reach Bella: when Edward leaned into her, it brought his body even closer – impossibly closer – to Jacob’s, and Jacob didn’t shy away from the feel of Edward’s length pressing against the back of his thigh. Rather, he pressed back, his breath catching in his throat at the sensation and then at the low moan Edward made when his lips connected with Bella’s.
There had been a time – any time at all, give or take a few weeks or a month or two ago – when seeing Edward and Bella kiss would have sent the heat of anger and jealousy racing through him. Seeing them kiss now brought on heat of an entirely different kind. It was and was not surprising, in its own way—given the way his fantasies had been going lately, he supposed he shouldn’t have been the least bit surprised.
“Don’t tell me I’m getting used to this already,” he said to no-one in particular.
It was Bella who answered him, her lips still moving against Edward’s. “We hope that you are.”
Jacob was motionless for a moment, a statue, like he’d so often compared Edward to when he was still. Even breathing ceased as he watched them – watched the way her fingers tangled in his hair, watched the way he seemed to melt against her, watched the way her lips parted for him again and again, watched the way he accepted her invitation, tongue dipping slowly into her mouth, sweet and sensual – and the only thing that gave him away was the crazy rhythm of his heart. If not for that, he could have been statuary.
He could feel them, too—could feel the way her body responded, and the way Edward’s body responded. Giving up on the statue thing, he decided to move, and he experimentally shifted between them, pressing back against Edward and then forward against Bella. Jacob would have smirked at the sounds they made had he not been preoccupied making a pleasured sound of his own.
He repeated the motion, and suddenly they weren’t kissing anymore—or, rather, they weren’t kissing each other anymore. Instead, they were kissing him: his jaw, his throat, that hollow between his clavicles, his chest, his shoulder blades, the dip at the small of his back… anywhere and everywhere that they could reach.
It wasn’t difficult to not think, when they were focused on him like this.
“That’s the goal,” Edward replied, his mouth now on Jacob’s right hip, his hands on his thighs, and her hands on his belly. Neither sets of hands were moving, and that was what Jacob wanted them to do.
That, and he wanted Edward to stop replying verbally to all of his thoughts.
“I think too much and you talk too much,” Jacob growled to the man behind him, feeling the light puffs of air hit his skin – the small of his back, again – as Edward chuckled.
“I agree with that,” Bella said slowly; she was relaxed, fingers moving almost lazily along Jacob’s torso, now circling his bellybutton. It was torture, and Jacob knew that both of them understood—they were doing this on purpose, waiting for him to crack.
“God,” he hissed, and her eyes lit up, another small smile playing on her lips as she slid her fingers downward—close, but not close enough. And Edward… Jacob wasn’t entirely sure where he wanted Edward to be (though he had a pretty good idea of where this was going, and he didn’t flinch at that thought either), but he sure as hell would have preferred more than this near-stillness, this bare whisper of his lips against his skin.
“He wants us to move,” Bella whispered, and then her movements halted altogether, only frustrating Jacob all the more.
“Yes, I know,” Edward agreed, now perfectly still as well. Jacob growled low in his throat, not quite a threat, not quite a plea, but a little of both. It did little good, because both of them remained motionless.
Stupid vampires and their stupid ‘we have all of eternity’ thing. Yeah, they did, but Jacob was still human (mostly, sort of, maybe, if you didn’t count the teeth and the claws and the fur, that is) and he was a teenage boy, at that. A teenage boy with teenage hormones. Very, very impatient teenage hormones.
Again, Edward laughed. “He reminds me so much of you, that first night,” he told Bella, and then she was laughing too, agreeing with him.
“What did I say about the talking?” Jacob asked, the words not quite a snarl.
“What did we say about the thinking?” Edward retorted, his tone gentle.
Jacob had no clever comeback for that one. Perhaps he would later, when he wasn’t too busy wondering why in the hell these two were so intent on torturing him.
There was a moment in which Bella looked past him, at Edward, and Jacob knew that some sort of silent communication was taking place between them. Then she smiled and nodded, and after that, everything seemed to happen at once.
Bella’s fingers moved those last few centimeters, curled around his cock and squeezed, and even though that was thoroughly distracting, Jacob did not fail to miss the lack of Edward’s presence behind him. He was back before Jacob could even count to ‘one’, not that he would have been able to count very high anyway, considering how Bella’s fingers were currently moving along his aching length.
“Better?” she purred, squeezing him again and making his eyes roll back into his head. A sound tore from him that was nearly unrecognizable—a sort of keening moan that tried to be a whimper there at the end, and Jacob figured that was answer enough for her, because she smiled and continued, thumb brushing over the head every other stroke, smearing the glistening wetness there.
He might not have been a vampire; he might not have been able to focus on a hundred different things at once like they could, but he could focus on more than one thing at a time, and that’s what he was doing now. He was trying to categorize it all: the way she shivered when his hands moved to cup and squeeze her breasts; the way her back arched when he bent to replace hands with mouth; the sudden shock of pleasure as her fingers brushed against his sac and then continued further back, finding that one little sensitive spot and pressing, making him groan; the quiet sound of a cap being popped open, and though that particular sound was unfamiliar in this situation, he knew exactly what it was; the way Edward’s slick, chilly (more so than what Jacob was used to, now) fingers pressed against his entrance, hesitating.
Jacob tensed then, and that made both of them pause again, which was not what Jacob had intended, and it certainly wasn’t what he wanted, either. It was strange, how all this time, he’d been the uncertain one, and they’d been the ones trying to get him to calm down, get him to see, and now they seemed to be the ones in need of reassurance. Damnit, why couldn’t it be simpler than this?
Edward started to pull away, but Jacob glared at him over his shoulder. “If you stop, I’ll rip your throat out.” An empty threat, of course, but perhaps it would get the point across.
It did. Edward gave him a crooked grin. “I just thought you needed… a moment.”
“I’ve had enough fucking moments,” Jacob nearly spat. “I didn’t do that because I don’t want this. I did that because that stuff is cold, man!”
Bella giggled beneath them, and Edward’s grin became a smile of understanding. “Yes, I know.”
“So why in the hell did you—oh. Oh.” The push, press, and then slide of that first finger into him was surprisingly easy, and a sufficient means of making him shut up rather quickly. Admittedly, it felt a little strange, at first (as did all new things), but it didn’t hurt, and Edward was more gentle than he needed to be.
Somewhere between the second – very purposeful – roll of Bella’s hips against Jacob’s own and the addition of a third finger inside of him, Jacob grew impatient again. If he shifted just a little—maybe grabbed her hips and pushed forward, he could be inside of her, and if Edward would replace his damn fingers with something a little more substantial….
“Do it, then,” Edward whispered against his ear, wrist twisting, and Jacob gasped, teeth grazing Bella’s skin.
“You first,” Jacob replied, rocking his hips back and completely failing at containing his resulting moan. “And don’t you dare ask if I’m sure.”
“Not asking.” Edward’s voice was low, husky, but serious.
He didn’t ask. He just moved; all three of them did, together, and suddenly there was an entirely different type of bliss to experience, and Jacob felt like he was falling apart already, and they’d only just started.
Their movements were more graceful, practiced. Jacob’s were overly-eager and as impatient as any normal teenager’s movements would be, the first time. They helped him—helped him to be a little more patient, helped him to match their rhythm, helped him to hold onto his sanity when he thought it would shatter into a million pieces, helped him learn exactly what he’d been missing out on.
At times, Jacob believed that they forgot about their promise to be gentle, not that Jacob minded. Bella’s nails would rake sharply down his back (but the cuts would heal before the blood would even have the chance to well up inside of them), and Edward’s fingers would dig painfully into his hips (but the bruises would be gone before they could even properly form), but Jacob never flinched away from those less-than-gentle touches, either. He supposed that there were moments during this when he forgot about trying to be gentle, too.
And later, when he’d managed to get his ragged breathing and his rapid heartbeat under control, he said: “You know, you bloodsuckers might not stink so bad after all.”
They laughed and kissed him, Bella first, and then Edward. “You need to sleep,” they reminded him.
“What, so you can stare at me the rest of the night?” Jacob asked, trying to sound incredulous. “No way. Too creepy.”
He was asleep less than two minutes later.
vii. You have a choice
He woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly well-rested—more so than he had in a long time. He opened his eyes slowly and found them watching him, the look in their eyes one of uncertainty. What to do now? both pairs of eyes asked. What to do, indeed.
Marveling at the way the sunlight shone on their bodies seemed like a decent start. It was like thousands upon thousands of tiny diamonds had been embedded in their skin, and Jacob had never seen anything like it before. No wonder vampires stayed in the dark most of the time—not because they’d fry if they ventured out into the sunlight, but because they’d practically blind anyone who saw them in the sunlight.
It was Bella who spoke first, and her words were light and teasing: “Did we wear you out last night? You slept a long time, and you snored like a chain-saw.”
“Shut up,” Jacob grumbled, half-heartedly tossing one of the pillows at her, which she caught effortlessly. “Unlike the living dead, I still need to sleep.” He stretched a little, his eyes straying to the tattered mess of fabric scattered across the floor. Once upon a time – well, before last night, at least – that had been clothing. Now only rags remained. It looked like a pack of werewolves had phased in the middle of the bedroom.
“There was only one werewolf in the bedroom,” Edward said, and he sounded like he was trying to hold back laughter. “And two vampires. Although no phasing took place.”
“Did I….?” Jacob trailed off, swallowing, eyes still focused on their ruined clothes. “Did I do all of that? Was I that impatient?”
“Give us some credit, Jake,” Bella lightly scolded, brushing her fingers against his cheek. “We helped.”
“You were very impatient, though,” Edward supplied, one corner of his lips quirking upwards. And then he grew more serious, his half-smile disappearing. “But you’ve been waiting like we have, so… I suppose your impatience is justified.”
At those words, Jacob tensed. Now that they were not actively trying to distract him (the fact that they were naked and sparkling wasn’t their fault, really—passive distraction), his thoughts weren’t the jumbled mess that they were last night. Now, he could think much clearer, and it seemed that he had a decision to make, because now they were watching him quietly again, waiting.
Jacob wasn’t sure what to do or what to say, after last night. Every single time before that, he’d pushed them away—no, he’d forced himself away from them. Last night, he’d stayed, and he supposed that that meant things between them had changed, in ways that he had not yet fully grasped. He’d gone against his nature, against everything he’d ever believed, and they had let him. They had encouraged him. Both of them had invited him to stay. Not just one, but both. Bella and Edward, instead of just Bella alone.
Bella had been right—she was still herself, with the exception of her body’s core temperature and the fact that the heart within her chest no longer beat. Jacob missed that sound, but essentially, she was still the girl he’d fallen in love with. It was strange to think of it that way, but it was true.
“I miss it as well,” Edward said quietly, with gravity, and Bella gave him a curious glance, but did not comment. She had apparently gotten used to it, the strange way her husband and her best friend – or perhaps more than that? This was what Jacob was trying to figure out – chose to communicate most of the time.
And Edward… Well, Edward had never been ‘just Edward’ to Jacob. At one point, he’d been a member of the strange antisocial family that hadn’t been welcome to La Push, though Jacob had never really understood any of that, back then. Back then, Jacob hadn’t had a problem with Edward. Then, he’d met Bella, but Edward had snatched her away before Jacob had even had the opportunity to ask if she was interested. It had wounded his pride a little, but he’d been mostly okay with it.
Then, Edward had become the idiot who’d broken Bella’s heart, and after that, he’d become Jacob’s enemy. There had been a brief moment of alliance, and they’d become rivals once again immediately after that.
Bella had made her choice. She’d chosen Edward, and hadn’t that meant that Jacob was merely second-best and that he’d had every right to hate Edward?
He had hated him, at one point—when he’d left her, Jacob had hated him, then. After Edward’s return, Jacob had managed to develop a sort of grudging respect for him, though he’d still considered him an enemy. He’d been heartbroken when he’d received the wedding invitation, though he’d seen that one coming from miles away already. He’d known then that Edward had not done it out of spite, but he’d assumed that Edward had only sent it for her sake, despite his obvious gratitude.
If Jacob was honest with himself, he supposed that his thoughts (and feelings) regarding Edward had started changing - really changing – that night Edward had found him in Canada and his words had thrown him for a loop: ”Not just for her. For me, too.”
Jacob hadn’t understood, hadn’t wanted to understand, and so he’d tried to ignore it. He had failed, because all he’d thought about for months on end had been those words, and then her words, too: “You could stay…”
An invitation, which he’d declined, until last night.
Almost cautiously, he looked at both of them. They were still quiet, still unmoving. Edward hadn’t breathed a word in reply to any of his thoughts, which were still a bit scattered, but not quite as badly as they were.
“Do you still want me?” he asked, and the question was directed at Bella.
“Yes,” she replied in that high, musical voice.
His gaze slid to Edward. “And you?”
“Yes. And before you ask or even think it—no, it isn’t simply because she does. That’s something I’ve been trying to tell you all along. I meant what I said before, about believing I was waiting for you, too.” He was perfectly serious.
Everything came full-circle, but the thought of all of this still made Jacob feel dizzy. Both of them wanted him. Both.
Edward’s voice was soothing: “You don’t have to try to figure everything out right now, Jacob.”
Jacob looked at him again, and his expression must have resembled a deer caught in headlights, because Edward cringed slightly before he continued: “You have options. We aren’t going to force you one way or the other.”
“Of course,” Bella began, shifting so that she was just a little closer to Jacob, “we’d prefer it if you decided to stay… But the choice is yours to make.”
You chose him, Jacob wanted to remind her, but he didn’t. Things hand changed, and now he was the one that had a choice to make.
He looked at their faces, and he saw the worry and the fear of rejection in their eyes.
How strange it was now, to be at the other end of the spectrum. To be in a similar situation to the one she’d been in, before.
He could stay. Or he could….
He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and he reached for their hands—hers and his.
“I’ll stay,” Jacob whispered, mesmerized by the immediate relief and happiness that chased the worry and fear from their faces.
Their hands lightly squeezed his, and they smiled at him.
They wanted him. They were holding onto him, helping keep him grounded. They were willing to let him work all of his confusing thoughts out. They would be patient for his sake—they already had been.
He leaned in, kissing her and then kissing him, and he could taste their relief and their happiness, too.
Leaving wasn’t really an option. Not anymore. However, that was only because Jacob didn’t want it to be an option, even though it was one that they were offering him.
He would stay.
Raise your hopeful voice
You had a choice
You’ve made it now
*hides under the desk* I had absolutely no intention whatsoever of this being so damn long. At first, I just wanted to write porn (*is shameless*), but then I had the idea of Edward going to find Jacob while he was off in Canada, and then the idea just snowballed. At least there’s still sex? XD
Each section has a ‘title’, as I’m sure you all noticed. The ‘titles’ are lyrics from various songs I was listening to while writing this. I tried to make each lyric match the mood of each particular section.
i. It’s easier to run – from Aqualung’s ‘Easier to Lie’.
ii. I know we’re broken – from Placebo’s ‘Blind’.
iii. And if you ever come back, I will let you – from Neverending White Lights’ ‘Always’.
iv. It’s easier to lie – again, from Aqualung’s ‘Easier to Lie’.
v. And you say stay – from Lisa Loeb’s ‘Stay’.
vi. Too long trying to resist it – from Muse’s ‘Muscle Museum’.
vii. You have a choice – from The Frames’ ‘Falling Slowly’.
The closing lyrics (Raise your hopeful voice / You had a choice / You’ve made it now) are also from The Frames’ ‘Falling Slowly’.
And to repeat, no, I do not dislike the Jacob/Nessie pairing. I think it’s terribly adorable, and I support it! *waves flag* I’m just a bigger Edward/Bella/Jacob fan, I suppose. *snickers* If things could have worked out something like this, I would have possibly fallen out of my chair and cried with joy.
Okay, maybe I wouldn’t have been that dramatic, but still. :D
*is all for Team Edward AND Team Jacob*
So now that my ending notes are really really really insanely long, I hope you all enjoyed my first foray into writing Twilight fanfiction. ^____________________^ Feedback is very much appreciated—I love comments. <33333 Thank you all for reading!