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08 April 2008 @ 12:47 pm
And Now there is Silence - Uruha, Reita (friendship)  
Title: And Now there is Silence
Author: Kagome
Rating: PG
Pairing: Not exactly a pairing… focuses on the strong friendship between Uruha and Reita (the GazettE).
Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, AU (RP-based).
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Summary: He might have some control over his mutation, but he has no control over his dreams.
Comments: Written for yuuanashi. Or maybe I should say “written for Diaspora!Uruha-muse because he would not shut up otherwise”. This is based on RP, and this particular RP is a mix of X-Men and JRock. As such, the JRockers have mutations as well. My Uruha is an Empath, and Sel-chan’s Reita… his mutation is anti-psychic, so Uruha’s mutation does not work on him. Uruha cannot ‘feel’ or ‘see’ him like he can others. I’m not even going to bother posting this elsewhere, because it might be a bit confusing to those who aren’t part of the Diaspora RP. XD *fails* Oh, well.

And Now there is Silence

There have been occasions when Uruha has been thankful for his mutation, and there have been days when Uruha has loathed it with every fiber of his being. Some days, there is too much noise, and he can’t filter it out. Sometimes, it’s like coming unglued—falling apart, and Uruha’s done enough of that already himself; he’d much rather prefer not falling apart because of others. Or rather, because of what others are feeling: their pain can become his pain, their anger can become his anger, their guilt can become his guilt (and he shoulders enough of that by himself, too).

It’s those days that are the worst, and he faces those days more than he’d like to—more than he can count, up to this point.

However, there is a bright light: their joy can also be his joy, and on those days, his mutation is worth it. Laughter and joy are contagious things and can be passed on even without psychic assistance, but his mutation tends to… amplify things, thus making the good days at least twice as good, and also making the bad days at least twice as bad.

Today has been a bad day. Freak accident. A car crash—eight-car pile-up. Several killed, and children among them. Grieving families and friends… Uruha could feel their sorrow like it was a tangible thing. That was the problem with his mutation: It was very easy to touch, to grab onto, and so very difficult (near impossible) to let go. The words and emotions today were too loud, too big, too much, and they reminded him of things (past regrets, mistakes, and so on) he’d much rather forget.

He’s learned to control his mutation, somewhat. It isn’t like a light switch—he can’t turn it off and on, but he’s learned to tone it down, somewhat. He is getting better at it, though oftentimes he can only manage to do it just long enough to concentrate on the immediate task at hand (pay the vendor, cross the street, play the correct chords), which means that he has to go through this ‘toning down’ business countless times each day. It takes a great deal of energy, and by the time the day is finished, he is usually mentally exhausted.

Today, he could not tune anything out, despite his best efforts. Perhaps because the conditions he had to deal with today hit a little too close to home.

There is one thing he has not gained any control over whatsoever: the nightmares. That is what bothers him the most.

There is laughter, deep and cruel, and there is blood and screaming and crying and so many questions that Uruha doesn’t know where to start with answering them or even if he can answer any of them at all. There is guilt and family and then ashes and nothing, and it’s the nothing that is the absolute worst. It pulls him from sleep—makes him sit up in bed, makes his breathing heavy and his pulse erratic, and makes sweat pour from him, which in turn makes the sheets stick to his skin.

This is going to be another mostly-sleepless night. He’s already accepted it.

Sweaty and uncomfortable (and not to mention terrified), Uruha slides out of bed and exits his room, going down the hallway and heading for the bathroom, intent on washing his face and upper body with a cool, wet washcloth.

He carefully tiptoes past Reita’s room, holding his breath the whole time, not wanting to wake his friend up, and within a few more steps, he is home free and inside the bathroom, flipping the switch and momentarily shielding his eyes from the artificial light.

Uruha cleans up and then leaves the bathroom, deciding against going back to bed in favor of lying on the couch. So, he goes into the living room (still stepping carefully), and he settles at ‘his’ end of the couch, grabbing the remote and turning the television on, lowering the volume so he won’t disturb Reita.

But as he is channel-surfing, he hears footsteps. Reita is coming down the hall. He doesn’t bother to turn around. “Go back to bed, Rei. I’m all right.” He’s fairly certain that it’s useless, but it’s worth a shot, right?

“You’ve always been such a terrible liar,” Reita replies. “Ever since we were kids.” He continues to approach, only stopping when he is between Uruha and the television, thus forcing Uruha to look at him.

Reita’s mutation is like a shield against Uruha’s: he’s anti-psychic, and therefore, in a sense, Uruha cannot ‘feel’ or ‘see’ him like he can others. But in a sense, Uruha doesn’t need his mutation to know how Reita is feeling; he and Reita have been best friends for years, after all.

Right now, Reita is worried. It emanates from him like some dense fog, and it is evident in his posture, too. Worry, all for Uruha, and that makes Uruha feel guilty.

“You know me too well,” Uruha says, trying to somehow see around Reita’s body and failing. The words aren’t spoken with any bitterness. They are what they are: fact.

“I’m your best friend. It’s part of the job description.” Reita smiles then, and joins Uruha on the couch, sitting close, but not quite touching him. He snatches the remote from Uruha (who pouts) and turns the television off. Uh-oh. This clearly means that he wants to talk and he does not want anything distracting him from it. “Nightmares again?”

“Yeah,” Uruha answers, somewhat grudgingly. “Rei, why don’t you just go--”

“I won’t,” Reita interrupts firmly. “You’re hurting Uruha.”

“I’ll live. I’ve made it this far.” And the truth is, if not for Reita, he probably wouldn’t have made it this far.

“It’s not about that.” Reita touches his shoulder, and Uruha almost flinches away from it. “Don’t try to hide. Not from me, Uru. That accident today, and all those people crying… it affected you… I don’t know. It seemed like you couldn’t control your mutation at all, when it came to that.”

“I couldn’t.” Uruha sighs. “It took me a while to go to sleep, because I was still hearing their voices. And then there was the nightmare, and the accident today reminded me of things and made the nightmare even worse. There’s too many voices, Rei. Too much pain. And then I dreamed, and there was nothing, and that was worse.” He knows it’s not making sense - he’s not making sense – but it’s the best he can do.

“There’s never nothing,” Reita says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m still here. There won’t be nothing, with me here. And I am not going anywhere.” He slides his arm fully around Uruha. “I’m still here,” he repeats.

“I know.” Uruha’s more grateful for that than words can ever express.

There is a pause, and then Reita holds out his other arm. “Come here,” he invites.

Uruha gives him a sideways glance, and then smiles crookedly. “You sure you want to be cuddling a half-naked man?” he teases. Ah, old habits die hard.

He can tell Reita is blushing by the sound of his voice. “Just shut up and come here.”

Uruha does. They’re an odd, awkward tangle of limbs, but it’s comforting and its peaceful, and Reita is warm and here and not gone at all. And certainly not nothing.

And now there is silence—blessed silence. No screaming. No crying. No pain.

There is sleep, too.

This time, without nightmares.


Right. So, this is longer than I intended. x_x; No real surprise, though. Talk about attack of the fluff. XD;;; Diaspora!Uruha is satisfied now, though, thank goodness. Now maybe I can actually get to work on important things.

Sel-chan, my deepest apologies to your Reita for making him blush. And probably making him embarrassed while you were reading this. *headdesk* But it’s still cute, right?

And yes, D!Uruha is still hiding things from me. *sigh*
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: L'Arc~en~Ciel - Yuki no Ashiato
Nemadronicus on April 10th, 2008 12:17 am (UTC)

....oh snap..I had a cap-attack didn't I?

*slinks away*
Kagome_newworld on April 11th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
XD Thank you~!

*drags you back* Nu-uh. You can't go anywhere. :P
「セイラ」: street lifeyuuanashi on April 10th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)

Hisa notes that they do have psychic dampening machines. If it ever gets too out of hand, Uruha has only to say something to his mentor ... which, conveniently enough, is Hisashi, being an empath in the rock music industry XD
Kagome_newworld on April 11th, 2008 12:27 pm (UTC)
^__________^ Yay!

Ohhhhh~. See, mebbe Uruha knew this but I didn't. ^^ I dunno. In which case... he must just be being stubborn about it. *headdesk*
(●´┏_┓`●): GazE - Uruha [:D]missykitty0115 on April 15th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
:DDD Awwwww~~~ ^___^ While I really didn't know exactly what was going on I liked that a lot. I'm a huge X-men fangirl, so seeing JRockers mixed in with the psychic powers thing is just happiness overload for me. XDD ♥!
Kagome: Miyavi - Raspberry_newworld on April 18th, 2008 02:41 pm (UTC)
Hee~. Yay! Glad you enjoyed reading even though it might've been a tad bit confusing. XD
Close Enough for Jazzrudetuesday on April 17th, 2008 05:13 am (UTC)
Ooh, this is a nice change! ^^ I like this Reita a lot. His voice is distinctive and quiet.

Is there more of this story? I'm really enjoying this!
Kagome: Reita - Gloves_newworld on April 18th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^_^ And here I was thinking no-one else would read this fic except Sel and Sash. *LOL* I enjoyed writing Reita like this, quiet but insistent.

Well, it's based off RP, so there might be more in the future, depending on how the RP goes. XD