Kagome (_newworld) wrote,

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Off-Kilter - Haitsu

Title: Off-Kilter
Author: Kagome
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Hyde/Tetsu
Fandom: JRock/L'Arc~en~Ciel
Disclaimer: Nope, me no own.
Summary: On Tetsu's birthday, Hyde has quite a surprise for him. Fair warning: this fic includes violent sex. Pretty much rape. If you can't handle it, don't read it, please.


“Hyde, what are you still doing here?”

L’Arc~en~Ciel’s vocalist looked up at the question, startled out of his thoughts. “Hmm?”

“Why are you still here? The party’s over.” Tetsu stood in the middle of his living room floor, gazing questionably down at the man occupying his couch.

Hyde licked his lips, a habit which he would probably never rid himself of. “You think the party’s over, Tetsu?”

The bassist’s eyes narrowed slightly. “No, Doiha-chan, I know it’s over. Everyone’s gone.”

“On the contrary,” Hyde began as he stood, pausing to stub his cigarette out in the ashtray on the table. He walked slowly to where Tetsu was standing, stopping only inches from the bassist. “I’m still here.”

“This is the third time I’m asking you. Why are you still here? You have to be tired. You’re the one who arranged everything.” Tetsu seemed to want to argue, something that Hyde wasn’t about to deal with. Not tonight.

“I wanted you to have a great birthday,” Hyde replied, as if that explained everything. “And I’m still here because the--” He paused in mid-sentence, raising his hands and trailing them down Tetsu’s chest, his lips curving into a smile when he heard Tetsu’s breath catch in his throat. “–-party is just getting started.”


“No.” Hyde raised a hand, placing a finger on Tetsu’s lips. “I’ve seen you watch me, Tet-chan. I’ve seen the look in your eyes when I merely walk by you. I am sick of you trying to keep it hidden.” He leaned further into Tetsu’s body, raising on tiptoe so he could bestow a chaste kiss onto those trembling lips.

“You thought I didn’t know?” Hyde asked, pulling back and noting with satisfaction the utter shock in the bassist’s eyes. “I knew, Tetsu. So, I waited for the perfect moment to tell you.” One of his hands went lower, sliding down Tetsu’s stomach. “This seems to be the moment I have been looking for.” Hyde allowed his hand to go even lower, brushing against the rapidly-forming bulge hidden in Tetsu’s pants.

“You’re getting hard already,” Hyde observed, letting his fingers linger between the taller man’s legs for a few moments before removing his hand and wrapping both arms around Tetsu’s slender frame. He kissed the bassist again, but this time, it was anything but chaste. The tip of his tongue teased at Tetsu’s lips, seeking entry. He felt Tetsu relax in his arms, surrendering, opening his mouth and letting Hyde kiss him.

Perfect, Hyde thought. I have you just where I want you, Tet-chan, and you aren’t getting away.

They broke apart a second time, and Hyde was pleased to hear that Tetsu’s breathing was more than a little erratic. He watched as Tetsu brought fingers to his own lips, touching them as if in a state of disbelief. “What is this, Hyde?”

Smiling, Hyde stepped back and began heading for the stairs. He was going up to Tetsu’s bedroom, and he knew without even turning to look that Tetsu was following him. “This, Tetsu, is one hell of a birthday party you will never forget.”

Indeed, Hyde knew how Tetsu’s eyes followed him when he crossed the room; he knew that Tetsu had fantasies about having sex with him. Once, he had heard Tetsu getting off in one of the stalls in the studio, and he had moaned Hyde’s name.

He knew that Tetsu had desires he wanted satisfied. Hyde had desires of his own. He had the desire to kiss Tetsu breathless, he had the desire to watch Tetsu writhe beneath him while he fucked him.

He had the desire to hurt Tetsu: to make him bleed and scream in pain and beg for Hyde to stop.

Yes, Hyde had desires.

And they would finally be satiated tonight.


So, Hyde had known his feelings all along?

Tetsu followed Hyde into his own bedroom, cursing himself for not hiding his attraction well enough, and cursing Hyde for knowing of it. Of course, with things out in the open now, he felt a little better; he wouldn’t have to try to hide it anymore - not that he was doing a good job of that in the first place.

Hyde came to a stop in the doorway of Tetsu’s bedroom, and turned. “Come here, Tetsu.”

Tetsu took those last few steps that placed him directly in front of Hyde, swallowing audibly as he did so. Why was he so nervous? How many times had he fantasized about this very moment? Tonight, Hyde would finally rid him of this need to touch him, to kiss him, to do all those things to him that he had dreamed about.

“Do you want me, Tetsu?” Hyde asked bluntly, pressing butterfly kisses to Tetsu’s neck.

Knees suddenly weak, the bassist nodded slowly, not trusting his voice.

“Do you know how much I want you?” Hyde reversed the question, but Tetsu did not know the answer to this one. Wordlessly, he shook his head.

“Let me show you, then.” Hyde removed something from his pocket: a silk cloth. Tetsu had but a moment to ponder what the piece of cloth could be used for before Hyde was behind him, placing it over his eyes. Of course, a blindfold.

Hey, if Hyde wanted to get kinky with this, Tetsu had no objections whatsoever.

The bassist next felt the vocalist unbuttoning his pants. He wondered why Hyde was deciding to rid him of his pants first, instead of his shirt.

As though Hyde had the ability to read his mind, he said, “The pants will get in the way of what I have planned.” Hyde undid the zipper and pulled the pants down. “Step out of them carefully.”

Gentle hands steadied Tetsu, and he stepped out of his pants gingerly, now wearing only his shirt and boxers.

“The boxers and shirt I will leave for later.” Hyde’s voice was close to his ear, breath sending shivers down his spine. He felt Hyde’s hand as it ran over his boxer-clad erection, cupping him through the cloth. “You’re so hard, Tet-chan.”

Tetsu made a small noise in the back of his throat, and Hyde’s lips were on his again, gentle but insistent. When he felt as if he would slide to the floor from the sheer pleasure of the kiss, Hyde pulled back, grasping his hand. He started walking again, and Tetsu knew where they were headed.

“Sit down,” was Hyde’s next instruction, and Tetsu did so, feeling the softness of the bedsheets beneath the palms of his hands. Hyde pushed him gently so that he was laying down, then straddled him. Tetsu moaned both in surprise and pleasure as Hyde ground his hips against him, and he could hear Hyde breathing a bit heavier.

“Raise your arms above your head.” Hyde’s mouth was on his neck as he said those words, teeth grazing the soft skin ever-so-lightly.

Without hesitation, Tetsu complied, and the next thing he felt was the cool caress of steel against his wrists: handcuffs. He felt Hyde shift, apparently threading the cuffs through one of the gaps between the bars of the headboard. He heard them click shut, and knew that he was completely at Hyde’s mercy.

It only made him want Hyde more.

“Are you ready for this, Tetsu?” Hyde caressed a fingertip across his cheek, and Tetsu nodded. He was so very ready for this.

Hyde ground against him again and Tetsu cried out, straining against his bonds. “Not fair,” he managed to say, “I’m completely helpless.”

“You’re exactly the way I want you to be.”

“I can’t touch you.”

He could hear the smile in Hyde’s voice as he replied, “I’m doing all the touching here tonight.”

“And the blindfold?”

“The anticipation would be so much less if you could see.” He felt Hyde’s hand slip between their bodies and into his boxers, grasping his erection firmly.

Tetsu might have protested, but Hyde’s hand was moving in such a way that prevented him from producing speech. “Hyde,” he moaned, his head tossing wildly back and forth on the pillow, “don’t tease.”

Hyde’s hand instantly stopped moving, and Tetsu strained against the cuffs again, wanting the vocalist to continue, even if his touch was a sort of torture. “I didn’t mean for you to stop!”

“Ah, but there are better things to come,” Hyde replied, and Tetsu’s toes curled at the sultry way in which the words had been spoken.

Tetsu felt Hyde reposition himself once again, to lay beside him on the bed. Tetsu missed the warmth of Hyde’s body pressed against his own, and heard the shorter man chuckle when he turned his head, silently wishing Hyde would straddle him again.

“I have a surprise for you,” Hyde told him. “Do you know what it is?”

Tetsu felt the cool caress of steel once again, on his cheek this time, a razor-fine edge tracing the line of the cloth binding his eyes.

“It’s a razor, Tet-chan,” Hyde said, as if Tetsu couldn’t have figured it out on his own. For the first time that night, Tetsu felt fear gripping his insides, and he didn’t know why. Hyde wouldn’t hurt him, would he?

“Hyde, what are you going to do with that?” Tetsu asked, trying to mask the apprehension in his voice.

His laugh again, so close to Tetsu’s lips. “Relax, Tet-chan. I’m just going to have a little fun.”

The blade of the razor trailed down the length of Tetsu’s throat, pausing at the neckline of his shirt. How much he had paid for that shirt, he couldn’t remember, but the fabric parted with a sigh, and his chest was exposed to the warmth of his own bedroom. Hyde made two more slits in the shirt at the shoulders, and Tetsu felt him rip the article of clothing the rest of the way off, tossing it aside. The blade continued its journey down to Tetsu’s boxers.

Tetsu’s breath caught in his throat as the blade sliced through those too, just as effortlessly. His boxers were withdrawn and tossed to one side. He heard them rustle as they hit the floor, and he turned his head to follow the sound.

“Much better,” Hyde said, sounding satisfied with himself. The razor then traced the veins in Tetsu’s bound wrists, not breaking the skin. The razor moved down the length of one of his arms, then the other, and Tetsu could not stop himself from trembling.

“Don’t, Doiha-chan,” he pleaded, now truly afraid.

“Don’t what, Tetsu? Don’t cut you?”

“No. This isn’t fun anymore Doiha-chan, you’re scaring me.” Tetsu’s skin shivered all over involuntarily and he fought to remain still, fearful of the point of the razor. It was hard to do, bound like that. The blade moved softly over his skin and the point of it pricked on his chest.

“You’re afraid?” There was deep amusement in Hyde’s voice. “Good. You should be.” He drew the razor down the length of Tetsu’s chest and stomach. Tetsu didn’t say anything in reply. He was shuddering violently, and couldn’t stop the tears that were suddenly soaking the blindfold binding his eyes. Fear made his mind a blank, and breathing was a struggle.

“You’re afraid, but you’re still hard,” Hyde murmured, and the tip of the razor danced over Tetsu’s skin, pricking his nipples. Tetsu gasped, bound hands clenching involuntarily. Hyde laughed.

And then, Hyde began to cut him.

Any person who had been wounded in any battle or war had taken far worse from a blade or bullet than Tetsu had from Hyde’s razor. However, Hyde’s razor was not meant for injury. It was meant for pain. The blade was unimaginably sharp, and parted flesh as easily as it did clothing. Tetsu barely felt it, when it first pierced his skin.

Which was why the subsequent cutting was done very, very slowly.

Blind and bound, gripped by terror, Tetsu’s entire consciousness narrowed to the scope of the razor as it harrowed his flesh with agonizing slowness, moving across his chest and making wounds that he could not see. He could feel them, however. He could feel the blood running in a steady trickle down his body and onto the sheets, making them wet and sticky.

Hyde moved the blade down Tetsu’s stomach, and Tetsu cried out as he felt blood welling into the cuts, spilling over and soaking the sheets. Tetsu’s skin parted before the razor, and flesh was carved by it. It was a pain Tetsu had never felt before, and he wanted it to stop.

“Doiha-chan,” he cried again, his voice strained, “stop. Please stop.”

“No, Tet-chan. I will not stop.” The next thing Tetsu felt was Hyde’s hand connecting with his cheek, backhanding him. Tetsu’s head whipped to one side, and suddenly, he tasted blood. More tears soaked the blindfold as he lay there, helpless.

How long it continued, Tetsu could not say; forever, it seemed, until Hyde stopped cutting and traced the point of the razor slowly down one of the wounds he had made.

“Tetsu.” Hyde’s voice whispered softly at Tetsu’s ear. He could feel the warmth of Hyde’s body. The tip of the razor trailed downward from his stomach, a cool and deadly caress, until Tetsu felt it hovering at his inner thighs, and trembled like a leaf.

“Doiha-chan, no.” In a paroxysm of terror, Tetsu gasped another plea.

He could almost hear Hyde’s smile. “You are in no position to tell me no, Tetsu.” The razor sliced into that soft skin, and Tetsu whimpered. The razor then danced along his now-limp member, and Tetsu’s body went completely rigid.

“I will not injure this piece of flesh,” Hyde said, as if the words meant to soothe him somehow. “I think I’ve gotten bored with this, anyway.”

Hyde’s mouth was on the bassist’s chest then, lapping at the blood still there. He continued sliding down Tetsu’s body until he came to his inner thighs; he licked the blood that was there, too.

Tetsu dug his nails into the palms of his hands, trying to fight the feelings low in his body. He knew without a doubt that Hyde’s mouth so close to his cock had made him hard once again, and he knew that would please the shorter man.

“Hard again, Tet-chan?” Hyde’s voice was both mocking and pleased at the same time. He ran his tongue along Tetsu’s aching erection, and Tetsu moaned loudly, his body writhing on the bloody sheets.

“Doiha-chan,” Tetsu was pleading again, only this time, he was pleading for something completely different. Right now, he didn’t want Hyde to stop.

But Hyde did stop. He climbed back up Tetsu’s body, moving his mouth to the bassist’s. “Too bad,” he said against Tetsu’s moist, parted lips. “I am doing whatever the hell I want to tonight, and you have no fucking say in it.” His mouth claimed Tetsu’s in a deep, hungry kiss, his tongue pushing past his lips to find Tetsu’s, his teeth biting down on his lower lip, drawing blood.

For the second time that night, Tetsu tasted blood. He returned the kiss for a moment before breaking away, turning his face so sharply to the side that Hyde’s teeth raked his cheek, leaving a thin trail of blood from his lower lip.

Hyde turned Tetsu’s face back to its original position and kissed him again, lapping at the blood on his bottom lip. Tetsu lay motionless beneath his body, feeling both hurt and ashamed. Hurt because Hyde - whom he had known for over twelve years, whom he had considered to be his best friend - was doing this to him, and ashamed because he was still aroused.

Hyde pulled away, and Tetsu could hear him removing clothing. He could hear the rustling Hyde’s shirt as it landed on the floor, could hear Hyde’s pants being unzipped. He felt Hyde beside him again, hands running over his chest, the shorter man’s erection pressed against his thigh.

Tetsu’s breath grew even shallower; fear still gripped him, made him completely immobile. He bit his lip and waited for Hyde to make his next move.

One of Hyde’s hands went to a nipple, his fingers skittering over it lightly. “Naughty, naughty,” he said, as the nipple hardened. He twisted it roughly then, making Tetsu cry out. Hyde pulled the nipple taut and Tetsu felt the vocalist’s other hand giving the same treatment to his other nipple. Tetsu uttered a short scream of protest, his hips rising from the bed.

“What the hell are you doing now, Hyde?” Tetsu asked, struggling to clear his mind as Hyde’s mouth replaced one of his hands. “You have no right...”

His words trailed off as Hyde’s hand trailed down to his cock once again, caressing it. His voice was a whisper against Tetsu’s skin. “You want to know what I’m doing, Tet-chan?”

Tetsu nodded, and Hyde kissed his neck, biting into the flesh. Tetsu knew he was bleeding yet again.

“I’m taking what I want.”

Hyde moved again, his body no longer pressed against Tetsu’s. Tetsu lay there, wondering where he had gone when he felt the tip of Hyde’s erection pressed against his lips. He inhaled sharply, and Hyde chuckled.

Hyde’s cock ran lightly over Tetsu’s lips, the salty taste of the pre-cum beginning to drip from the tiny slit in the head, entering Tetsu’s mouth as it grazed him. Tetsu struggled to breathe. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want Hyde like this. His fantasies were coming true in the wrong way.

“So, this is how you’ve imagined it?” Tetsu asked, unable to keep his voice steady. “You’ve wanted me like this?”

“Yes,” Hyde replied, his cock still poised against Tetsu’s lips. “Just like this.” He pressed his erection further into the bassist. “Suck me.” His voice was guttural, impatient.

This was out of control.


Tetsu lifted his face, opening his mouth, beginning to suck the flesh. Hyde groaned softly, threading his fingers in Tetsu’s hair, raising the bassist’s head higher off the bed. Tetsu took more of him into his mouth, sucking harder.

Hyde cried out, a choked grunt, and locked his hands in Tetsu’s hair, stabilizing the bassist’s head and pushing himself completely into his mouth. He began a quick, wild, thrusting motion as Tetsu continued to suck him.

Tetsu struggled to keep from gagging as Hyde thrust into his mouth. It was a difficult thing to do.

Suddenly, Hyde pulled out of his mouth with a cry, and Tetsu felt him grab onto his arms to steady himself. “I can’t take this anymore, Tetsu.”

Hyde began fiddling with his blindfold. It was removed, and Tetsu could see again. He blinked as Hyde’s face swam into view, and then he noticed all the blood; it was covering both the sheets and himself. He looked back at Hyde again, and there was blood drying at the corners of the vocalist’s lips. He squirmed, terrified by the look in Hyde’s eyes.

“You’re going to watch me while I fuck you,” Hyde said. Tetsu watched in utter horror as Hyde spit on his fingers, sliding his hand under the bassist’s ass and coating the tight ring of muscle with his saliva. “This will have to work, Tet-chan. It’ll hurt.”

After having said this, he slid his other hand underneath Tetsu, gripping his buttocks painfully and lifting his hips from the bed.

“Doiha-chan, don’t!”

Hyde entered him in one fierce movement, without warning. Tetsu screamed, the sound reverberating off the walls. He was crying again, and Hyde seemed pleased.

“Does this hurt, Tetsu?” the shorter man asked, dragging halfway out of him and then shoving himself roughly in again.

“Yes,” Tetsu replied, squeezing his eyes shut. This was even worse than the cutting had been. He could feel his muscles stretching, tearing as Hyde slammed into him, and he couldn’t help the cries that were practically ripped from his throat.

“Good,” Hyde said, shoving against Tetsu’s tightness. “I want you to hurt. I want you to scream.”

And scream Tetsu did.

Hyde did nothing to try to lessen the pain for him. When he had worked himself fully inside, he began moving in a rhythm that had been practiced for two-thousand years, but at this moment, it just seemed so wrong.

Tears ran down from Tetsu’s eyes in a steady stream, eventually being soaked up by the pillow. He knew without a doubt that Hyde was being rough enough to cause him to bleed. He could feel the fluid on his skin, on Hyde’s skin, slick and unpleasant.

There was pain. Only pain. There was not one other thing that Tetsu could concentrate on besides Hyde’s body slamming into his in a steady rhythm, Hyde groaning above him, that look in Hyde’s eyes.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he refused to believe that Hyde was doing this to him. Hyde had always been kind towards him. When had things changed? Why did things have to be this way?

Why did it have to hurt so much?

Hyde grunted and his body took on a different rhythm. He was pounding into Tetsu just as hard as before, but now he was moving faster, apparently nearing orgasm.

Tetsu simply closed his eyes and waited for it to be over. He was exhausted; he wanted to sleep for about a year.

Hyde’s cry, when it came, was nearly as loud as Tetsu’s screams of pain had been. Tetsu felt him shudder as he released his seed deep inside of the bassist, hips slowing their movements, then stopping altogether.

Tetsu nearly sighed with relief, wincing as Hyde pulled out of him, releasing his grip on the bassist. Trembling, Hyde collapsed onto the bed beside him, and Tetsu saw the blood between the shorter man’s legs.

So, he was right. Hyde had made him bleed.

Tetsu knew he would be in a lot of pain in the morning, maybe even more so than he was now. Everything hurt. There was not one part of his body that Hyde hadn’t violated in some way, and Tetsu hated him for it.

Even more than hating Hyde, Tetsu hated himself. He hated himself for letting Hyde trick him, for believing that Hyde actually loved him.

Why had he allowed everything tonight to go so very, very wrong? Why hadn’t he just told Hyde to leave in the beginning?

He barely noticed when Hyde uncuffed him, proof of how utterly exhausted he was. He felt like he needed to throw up, but couldn’t. He rolled over, and even that hurt. He buried his face in the pillow, wanting to do nothing more than sleep.

Hyde was still beside him, breathing heavily, and Tetsu would tell him to leave any moment now.

That moment never came; before he could open his mouth, he had slipped gratefully into unconsciousness.


When Hyde came to the next morning, he found both himself and the sheets that he was laying on bloody. After a moment of terror at wondering how everything had gotten so bloody, he looked at Tetsu, who was lying beside him and still asleep, and remembered.

He had made Tetsu bleed. He had made Tetsu cry out in pain. Tetsu had begged him to stop, but he hadn’t. He had fucked him roughly, and Hyde wished that he could stick around to watch him wake up, watch his eyes as they widened in pain at any slight movement.

Unfortunately, his wife would be pissed at him as it was for staying out all night, what with it being his turn to wake up during the night and take care of their baby when it cried.

Tetsu had been a good fuck - better than Hyde had even imagined, and he had endured Hyde’s violence quite well. Even if only to himself, Hyde to admit that he was proud of the bassist.

They would have to do this again.

Hyde knew, however, that Tetsu would not be fooled again as he had been the night before. Hyde could not trick him into believing that he would be kind and gentle with him anymore.

Hyde sat up and stretched. If Tetsu wouldn’t willingly give him what he wanted in the future, he would just take it, like he had done last night.

He began to climb out of the bed, but paused to ruffle Tetsu’s hair, relieved when the taller man didn’t stir. He put on his clothes and hunted for a pen and paper.

When he finished scribbling his note, he headed for the door, knowing without a doubt that he would have to take a bath as soon as he got home. He smelled just like sex and blood.

... He smelled just like Tetsu.


When Tetsu opened his eyes, he saw blood, and a lot of it. Blood on the sheets, blood on his body, blood everywhere. He tried to sit up and found it to be a difficult task. He hurt. He hurt everywhere. If he thought he had been in pain last night, it was a thousandfold worse this morning.

The cuts carved into his body stung, his arms ached from being held above his head for such a long amount of time, and his wrists hurt from the handcuffs digging into them. However, the part of his body that was feeling the most pain was the one that Hyde had shoved himself into the night before.

Hyde had fucked him, and had not been gentle with it in the least.

No, not just fucked. He had raped him. Raped him, because Tetsu had told him no, had told him that he was afraid, and it had availed nothing.

Hyde had left sometime before he woke up, which wasn’t surprising. Megumi would probably yell at him when he got home, but Tetsu knew that Hyde deserved so much more than being yelled at.

Tetsu finally climbed out of bed, noticing his ruined shirt and boxers that were still laying on the floor. He sighed, and turned to look at the bed. There was so much blood; he would never be able to get those sheets clean.

He wasn’t even sure that they would be clean if it were possible to get all the blood out. Those sheets would still be spoiled, because they would still hold the memory of what had taken place the previous night.

There was no point in even trying to save them.

He started to walk out of his bedroom to the bathroom so he could clean up a little and wash the blood off, but a sheet of paper lying on his dresser caught his eye. He paused to read the words scribbled on it. It was Hyde’s handwriting.

The first two lines were in English: I play, you obey. Tetsu remembered those words. They were from one of Hyde’s solo songs. His hands shook as he lifted the piece of paper, reading the rest. Happy Birthday, Tet-chan. May you never forget what took place between us last night. I know I won’t.

Forget? How could he forget? If he could, he would, but he knew he would not be able to. Rape is something that is etched into the body, even more so into the heart. The wounds on his body would heal, eventually, but the wounds on his heart would never heal.

He crumpled the letter and let it fall to the floor. He walked back to his bed in a haze, and the ground felt as if it was shifting beneath him. He sat down on his bed, on his ruined sheets. His throat hurt, and his eyes burned. He knew he was going to cry, despite how hard he tried to blink back the tears.

The tears fell.

Happy Birthday, Tet-chan.

Some birthday.


Tags: hydextetsu, l'arc~en~ciel, tetsuxhyde
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