Theme: This chapter is based on theme #23 – Happy.
Rating: PG overall
Pairing(s): Miyavi (solo, S.K.I.N.)/Reita (the GazettE) is the main pairing. Ruki/Kai (the GazettE) is hinted at, as is Aoi/Uruha (the GazettE).
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Summary: Reita’s bandmates aren’t blind: they can see perfectly well what’s going on between Reita and Miyavi… perhaps even better than Reita himself.
Comments: Here’s the final chapter. Unlike the others, it doesn’t actually take place during any particular chapter, but it kind of… sums up all of the chapters. This is in Uruha’s POV, and it fits in somewhere between chapters ten and eleven of Transition. I hope you all enjoy reading the final chapter! Written for 50stories.
Chapter One: Lovesickness
Chapter Two: The Effects of Denial
Chapter Three: Ship of Fools
Love and happiness don’t always go hand in hand. There isn’t always a happy ending.
I think that’s what terrified me from the very beginning, when it came to you and Miyavi. I believed that there was really no way that things could end happily for the two of you. I never believed that you could be good for one another. Maybe I was being a bit too presumptuous, but truth be told, I was just looking out for you. I was looking out for Miyavi, too. I thought that anything aside from friendship between the two of you would be absolutely disastrous. I thought that one – or both – of you would wind up getting hurt.
From the moment I first discovered that you had slept with him, I was concerned. I voiced my concern, though not in the most appropriate of ways (yes, I realize that now, Reita, believe it or not), and you told me that you wouldn’t repeat the action – that it was just a one-time thing and a mistake at that. It was enough to reassure me, until one night about two months later. That was the night that we invited Miyavi out to a club with us, because we had grown incredibly bored at Kai’s place. I’m sure you remember that night quite vividly. You acted very strange that night, starting with the moment that Miyavi clambered into Ruki’s car with us.
The strangeness continued once we made it to the club; in fact, things became even stranger. You wound up dancing with him, which surprised the hell out of all of us. I think Aoi, Ruki, and Kai had their mouths hanging open, whereas I was glaring at the two of you for all I was worth. Not a good idea! was what I was inwardly screaming at that time. Those same words became a mantra the instant the two of you left the club together, and while Ruki and Kai were laughing and making catcalls and Aoi was blinking after the two of you in something that seemed akin to amazement, I was grabbing my cellphone and furiously pressing the proper buttons to call you. I called you quite a few times – both your cellphone and your home phone, but I received no answer (I don’t think I was really expecting one, to be honest). In my defense, I wasn’t the only person that called you that night. Kai and Ruki did, too, although they were doing it just for fun and just to tease you, whereas I was calling you to tell you not to get in over your head.
Aoi eventually told me in a gentle, quiet voice to stop calling you. I remember him resting his head on my shoulder in the back of Ruki’s car while we were on the way back to Kai’s place more vividly than I remember what he said. Something along the lines of, “Uru-kun, he’s not gonna answer, you know. I understand that you’re worried about him and you’re just trying to look out for him, but he’s a big boy and I’m sure that he really does know how to take care of himself. I’m sure both of them do.”
In any case, I knew that he was right, and I flipped my cellphone closed with a soft sigh, leaning further back against the seat and allowing myself to rest my head on top of his. I decided that the best course of action at that point would be to wait for you to contact me, as I was obviously getting nowhere with my efforts of contacting you.
You called me the next afternoon, much to my surprise. My greeting wasn’t exactly friendly, considering that the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “What the hell did you do to your home phone?”
I know you replied, but I honestly can’t remember what you told me. I wasn’t even properly listening to you at that moment. The only thing I could focus on was the fact that you had lied to us – to me - and that hurt. I felt like you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. “You lied, Reita,” I said simply, and I sounded just as hurt as I felt. “It may not mean a damn thing to you, but you lied to us - your friends! Your family!”
You apologized, and you sounded genuinely apologetic. I remember that I fussed at you some more, and you continued to talk to me in a calm voice. Now that I look back on it, I wonder how you could have been so calm with me practically chewing your head off. I have the distinct impression that you thought I was making a big deal out of it when I shouldn’t have been. Maybe I was. But again… I was just worried about you – about what I knew was capable of happening, even though you tried your damndest that day on the phone to tell me that there would never be anything between the two of you except for sex.
I couldn’t help but wonder, though, if the person you were trying so hard to convince wasn’t me, but you yourself. As for me, I wasn’t convinced, but I didn’t have the heart to continue lecturing and questioning you, so I let it slide for the time being and I tried to believe that you would be fine – that both of you would be fine – and that you wouldn’t get in over your head. I made you a promise that I wouldn’t butt in anymore, and I really intended to keep it.
Somewhere along the line, things changed. Somehow, you became his friend; you started respecting him not only as a musician but as a person. I grew even more uneasy, and the changes continued. You started talking about him more and more. When he walked into the room, you’d smile at him, and that smile was bright enough to rival the sun. You were in love – we all knew you were – but you continued to deny it. Over and over again, you denied it. And even though I had promised you that I wouldn’t butt in anymore, I broke that promise soon after I realized that you had fallen in love with Miyavi. I didn’t say much, though. I remember telling you to be careful and telling you that you could lie to us, but not to yourself.
You want to know the strange thing? I think… I think if you had stopped burying yourself in denial, things would have been easier. I’m not sure I would have been any less worried about you, though. And even though I had a really bad feeling about the whole thing, I couldn’t help but be happy for you, in some weird way. It was good to see you so happy and in love, even though you constantly insisted that you were no happier than you had been and love didn’t fit into the picture at all.
Shortly after that, things fell apart. Your relationship with Miyavi ended, and though I had feared that something like it would happen all along, I felt guilty for ever even thinking that it would happen. It was like… in some way, I thought that it was my fault, even though the rational part of me knew that it wasn’t – not really. Though I’m certain that all of my nagging along the way didn’t help one bit.
You weren’t happy anymore. You were miserable, and I wanted more than anything just to cheer you up somehow – to offer you some solace – especially that afternoon when you came to practice and kept messing up, and yet you kept on trying anyway. Practice was ended early that day, for obvious reasons. I lagged behind the others, wanting to say something, wanting to tell you that I was sorry for the way things had gone between you and Miyavi and that I had never hoped things would go wrong. I never had any intention of telling you, ‘I told you so’, but you thought that that was what I wanted to say to you.
Your words cut through me like a knife, and sharp pain – pain laced with guilt - seeped into my heart. But at the same time, I was angry. I thought you would know better than to think that I’d kick you when you were down, and that’s what I told you (only using different words) before storming out of the studio, trembling with anger and with hurt - not of the physical kind, but of the emotional kind.
I didn’t speak to you for quite some time afterwards, though I did find out that Aoi had a little talk with you. He came sauntering into his kitchen one evening in early June (he had invited me over for dinner), grinning like a madman and informing me that he had done his good deed for the day. He said, “Today, I was a good ship for a fool,” and then he paused, tilting his head to one side, seeming to be in thought. “… Or maybe I was a compass. I’m not sure which.”
When I asked him what in the hell he was talking about, he just grinned wider at me and leaned over the table, gently combing his fingers through my hair. “I think our Reita-kun might finally be heading in the right direction,” was the only answer he gave me.
The next day, you called and apologized to me. I apologized as well, and you informed me that you were going to try to fix things with Miyavi. I wished you the best of luck and told you that I hoped the two of you were able to work things out – and I meant it, too.
You weren’t able to work things out.
At least, not right away. He made you wait for him – forced you to be patient even though patience isn’t exactly your strong point. And you did wait. And Miyavi came back.
The two of you have been together for six months now, and it’s fairly obvious that Miyavi has you wrapped around his little finger. It’s also fairly obvious that you’re happy again – happier than you’ve been in a long time. You look at him like he’s your entire world, and he looks at you in exactly the same way.
Back in December of 2003 when all of this started, I thought that the two of you together would be an utter disaster.
I’m so glad that I was wrong.
Love and happiness don’t always go hand in hand, but sometimes, they do.
There isn’t always a happy ending.
… But sometimes, there is.
Here’s to happy endings, Reita.