Theme: This chapter is based on theme #40 – Sickness.
Rating: PG overall
Pairing(s): Miyavi (solo, S.K.I.N.)/Reita (the GazettE) is the main pairing. Ruki/Kai (the GazettE) is hinted at, as is Aoi/Uruha (the GazettE).
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Summary: Reita’s bandmates aren’t blind: they can see perfectly well what’s going on between Reita and Miyavi… perhaps even better than Reita himself.
Comments: I have had this written for a while. I just haven’t bothered posting until now because I fail. :/ I had wanted to write something like this… I had wanted readers to have a look into Ruki’s, Aoi’s Uruha’s, and Kai’s minds concerning the events of Transition. Here you have it. ^______^ The chapters are all quite brief, but they were very fun to write. Most of the chapters contain dialogue from various chapters of Transition. The first chapter of this fic takes place during the seventh chapter of Transition. This chapter is in Ruki’s POV. Written for 50stories.
When the word ‘sickness’ comes to mind, people usually think about kids staying home from school cos their stomach hurts, or adults missing work because they’ve got the flu. The words ‘I’m sick’ makes people think of sneezing, coughing, runny noses, fevers, and all that lovely stuff.
As I watch you enter the studio, I’m quite aware that you lack the symptoms of what one would usually consider a sickness. You don’t look like you feel bad, you’re not sneezing or coughing, your eyes aren’t watery, you don’t appear to have a fever, and I’m guessing that your nose isn’t running, either (though I can’t really tell because you’re wearing that cloth of yours to cover your nose, as usual). You seem well enough – you’re smiling, you’ve shown up at the studio today with your bass in tow, ready to get to work. You don’t seem tired at all – seems to me like you’re just a ball of energy. You seem perfectly healthy.
But you, my friend, are sick. Sick, sick, sick.
You talk about Miyavi constantly now. I’m not sure if you realize it; you probably don’t, because I think if any of us were to bring it to your attention, you’d try to stop talking about him so much. Kai told me the other day that you’re still insisting that you and Miyavi are nothing but friends, but I think there’s more to it than you’re letting on – more to it than even you yourself are willing to admit. I made a bet with him… I’m sure he said something about it to you the other day when you were in the pet shop. I lost the bet. I told him that there’s no way that you’re falling for Miyavi, when I knew that you were and are falling for him. I lost the bet on purpose, but he doesn’t know that, and he never will. I’ll let him gloat all he wants to – he’s rather cute when he does that.
Anyway, as I was saying: you’re happier than you used to be, Reita. You’re smiling more often, and whenever Miyavi’s around you, there’s this light in your eyes that I’ve never seen before – not in your eyes, at least, not until just recently. You’re trying to hide it… we all know you are, but you’re not very good at hiding things from us, Reita. You never have been.
I think you’re expecting Kai and me to pick on you for buying Miyavi a kitten. It’s what we do, after all – we tease you about Miyavi constantly. But to be honest, I think the gesture was nice… very considerate of you. Kai said that you told him you bought the kitten for Miyavi simply out of the goodness of your heart. Of course, I expected the denial. Kai did too. We all expected it, I think.
I don’t think you expected Kai and me to be so quiet today. You’ve been here for ten minutes and so far, neither of us has even tried to make a joke about your relationship with Miyavi. You finally wind up asking us if we’re sick, and we tell you that we aren’t, and we go through practice without even so much as a snicker. You’re still looking at us like you’re expecting something.
As we are getting ready to leave, I hear you sigh loudly. “Just what the hell is wrong with all of you today?” you ask, and though I am already on my way out the door, I turn to look at you.
I don’t make a joke, which is what I think you’re expecting. I don’t even crack a smile as I answer you. “I think we’re just noticing how things have changed between you and Miyavi-kun, Rei-kun… and how the change in your relationship has changed you in turn. Now, I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, because it’s nice to see you like this.”
I am perfectly serious, and I’m telling the truth. It is nice to see you like this.
You don’t seem to understand what I mean, because the next thing you say is, “Like what?”
I start to reply, but Kai beats me to it. “Like… happy,” Kai says, echoing my thoughts. “You’re happier than you used to be, Reita.”
I can practically see the cogs turning in your head. You know Kai’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. So, instead of saying, “Yes. You’re right, I am”, you say, “I am not--”
Before you can finish your sentence, I interrupt you. “Denying something doesn’t mean it isn’t true, Rei-kun. “Denying what you’re denying… well, that’s not good. It makes you seem cowardly, and I’m sorry to be telling you this, but it’s true.”
You stare at me, mouth agape as though you can’t believe what I’ve just said. Maybe you can’t. I can’t say I really blame you. I’m hardly ever this serious – especially when it comes to your relationship with Miyavi. But I think you’ve really got something here, and I think you should open your eyes, stop denying it, and hold onto it. Just accept the fact that you’re sick. I don’t mean that you’re hacking up your lung or that you’re mentally ill – I mean you’ve got what they call ‘lovesickness’, Reita.
I start to say just that, but I think better of it and I turn back around, exiting the room without looking behind me. I really don’t have the right to say much else to you; I’m not even sure I have the right to say what I did say. After all, I’m hiding, too. I’m not exactly denying what I feel – I just haven’t breathed a word about it to anyone. So, I guess I’m a bit of a hypocrite.
Aoi and Kai catch up with me before I make it outside, and I sling one arm around Kai’s shoulders – no particular reason, really. Today, I don’t try to tease him like I typically do (and I tease him a hell of a lot more than I tease you about Miyavi, believe me. You ought to know that already, anyway), and I think it throws him for a bit of a loop.
“What’s gotten into you today, Ru?” he asks me, and I just smile at him and shake my head.
“Absolutely nothing,” I reply, and I wonder why it is that I can say just about anything to him – anything except for what I really want to say… anything except for how I really feel. I can tease him, but I can’t tell him what I feel for him. I haven’t been able to, for quite some time now.
Yeah, I guess I’m a coward too, Rei. And the fact that you’re going through something similar with Miyavi, it just makes me notice my own cowardice even more than usual. I’ve been head over heels for Kai for longer than you’ve been for Miyavi. That’s how I recognize the symptoms of this ‘lovesickness’ so well – cos I’ve got it, too. I’m almost giddy when I’m around Kai – I feel all those stupid cliché little things that they talk about in romance novels or in romance movies. Maybe I’m better at hiding it than you are, I don’t know.
But in any case, we’re both sick. Perhaps even miserably so.
Guess this lovesickness stuff is contagious, huh?
~TO BE CONTINUED~