Kagome (_newworld) wrote,

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Never, Always - Ruki/Kai

Title: Never, Always
Author: Kagome
Rating: Light R
Pairings: Ruki/Kai (the GazettE), mention of Reita (the GazettE)/Miyavi (solo, SKIN)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Summary: There are some things that we say that we never mean. But there are also things we say that we will always mean.
Comments: Would you guys believe that I wrote this even before I wrote Perfect Morning, but I didn’t post it cos it takes place after Perfect Morning? XDXDXD;;;; Meh. Finally getting around to it. Also, this is a sequel to Chicken. Have you missed goofy Ruki? Cos he’s baaaack~! XD Enjoy, guys!

Never, Always

They’re backstage – the tour is finally over, and they should probably be exhausted at this point, but they aren’t. They’re too alive, all of them. Too happy, too full of energy, too high on the screaming and the applause to go back to the hotel and do nothing. Aoi suggests that they go out for a few celebratory drinks, and Ruki agrees with a rather loud yell as he nudges Kai, giving him puppy eyes – which he knows quite well by this point that Kai cannot resist.

“Pleaaaaaase, Leader-sama~?”

Kai wrinkles his nose. “One would figure that you’d stop calling me that after we got together.”

The puppy look changes then, but this particular look is one that Kai has seen many times – mostly when they’re alone – and he cannot resist that look, either. “Okay, then. Pleeeeaaaaaaase, baby?”

Kai’s jaw drops and he stumbles over his words. His face is hot; he is blushing. The rest of his bandmates are gazing at him and Ruki, amused expressions on their faces. Finally, he manages to practically squeak a yes, and his companions cheer. Well, save for Reita, anyway, who excuses himself for a moment to phone Miyavi.

“Thank you for making me turn however many shades of red that I just turned back there,” Kai comments sarcastically to Ruki as they exit the building. It’s a little chilly tonight, and Kai wishes that he would have thought to grab a jacket before heading out.

“Those twelve shades of red suit you quite well,” Ruki replies, as though this is his defense. “Very sexy.” He then removes his own jacket and drapes it over Kai’s shoulders.

Snuggling into the warmth of Ruki’s jacket, Kai remarks, “I don’t know why I put up with you.”

But he doesn’t mean it. He never does.


Later at the nightclub that they’ve picked out for their ‘celebratory drinks’, Ruki asks Kai to dance with him, and Kai refuses.

“Why not?” Ruki asks with a pout, one long finger moving idly along the rim of his glass. Kai watches that finger with something akin to fascination, which is probably ridiculous – it’s just Ruki’s finger, after all, and there’s nothing sexual about the gesture.

Oh, who the hell is Kai kidding? It’s Ruki, after all, and everything Ruki does is sexual. Everything.

Kai snaps out of it just long enough to tell Ruki that dancing isn’t his thing, but Ruki – being as stubborn as he is – will not take no for an answer. And despite Ruki’s stubbornness, Kai is never able to deny him – well, not for long, anyway.

“You know you wanna dance with me~,” Ruki teases, sliding his fingers along Kai’s leg, stopping at his thigh. It’s a completely unfair gesture, and Kai is pretty certain that Ruki is aware of that fact. “C’mon, Kai-chan. Reita-kun dances with Miyavi-kun when they go to clubs together.”

Comparison to another couple. Also unfair. Kai sighs softly. “Reita-kun and Miyavi-kun are actually capable of dancing. It’s not my thing.”

“It wasn’t my thing either,” Reita suddenly says, adding what would be considered his ‘two cents’ to the conversation.

Kai turns to glare at the bassist, wondering just whose side Reita is on. “Look, Noseless Boy--”

Ruki chooses that moment to stand up (interrupting Kai in the process), grab Kai, and all but drag him away from the table that they are currently occupying. Kai actually tries to struggle, but it doesn’t do him any good, and looking to his other bandmates for help does no good either, because they are merely looking at him with that very same amused expression that had been plastered on their faces earlier.

Kai finally gives up, and soon after, discovers that dancing really isn’t that difficult at all. He also learns that it is rather enjoyable with the right person – what with Ruki pressing and moving against him like that, how can he not enjoy himself?

Kai honestly has no clue how they wind up in some far corner of the club, but he doesn’t have any objections. How can he object when Ruki’s mouth is covering his own, when Ruki’s tongue is invading his mouth, when Ruki’s hands are running over his body, his fingers slipping beneath Kai’s shirt so Kai can feel Ruki’s fingertips dancing over his skin?

“You are absolutely impossible,” Kai says as Ruki leaves his mouth, trailing kisses along his jaw instead.

But he doesn’t mean it. He never does.


The exhaustion finally sinks in the next day. It’s time to leave – time to get back on the tour bus (and though it’s a bus just for them, it’s still not very comfortable) and head home. Kai is very much looking forward to being able to sleep in his bed once more. He’s pretty sure that his bandmates feel the same. Sleeping in a hotel bed just isn’t the same.

They take their seats and within ten minutes after the bus has started moving, Reita is on the phone with Miyavi yet again (and Kai knows it’s Miyavi, because Reita wouldn’t be smiling like that otherwise), Uruha and Aoi are sitting close together and chatting about something (Kai can’t hear what they’re saying), and Ruki is sitting right beside Kai, humming a tune that Kai can’t place.

Kai tolerates Ruki’s humming for a good several minutes – though Kai feels like it’s much longer – before he pokes Ruki in the side and asks, “Must you do that?”

Ruki grins and shakes his head. “There are lots of other things I could be doing with my time, but if I told you what they were, you’d probably blush. And if I actually tried to do any of those things, you’d probably throw something at me~.”

Kai blinks. “You’re probably right, on both counts. I do ask you that you behave yourself while we’re on the tour bus. You think you can do that without injuring yourself?” he teases.

Ruki shrugs. “I’m not sure. I’ll try to behave, though. Is that good enough~?”

Kai rolls his eyes slightly. “I suppose it’ll have to be good enough.”

Ruki shifts, lowering his head. Kai’s eyes grow wide, and he wonders if this is Ruki’s version of ‘behaving himself’. “Ru-chan, what exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m being a good boy,” Ruki replies, though Kai isn’t at all sure that he believes him. Ruki then rests his head on Kai’s lap, nuzzling at his thigh. “In all honesty, Kai-chan, I just want to be close to you. That’s not too much to ask for, is it?”

Kai smiles then, his fingers beginning to gently comb through Ruki’s hair. Ruki always knows how to make him smile – always knows how to make him feel on top of the world, no matter how exhausted he is.

“You’re such a goofball,” he says to Ruki.

But he doesn’t mean it. He never does.


It seems like forever before Kai is finally standing at the doorsteps of his own home, and he seriously contemplates kissing his floor as soon as he’s inside, but he decides against it. Ruki is with him, after all, and it just won’t do for Kai to act even more insane than Ruki. So, no floor kissing.

Instead, he opens the door and crosses the room (leaving the door open for Ruki), and all but collapses onto his couch, overjoyed to be at home. “Home sweet home,” he murmurs, burying his face in one of the cushions.

He hears Ruki close the door and then hears Ruki ask: “Are you sure you don’t mind if I stay?”

Kai lifts his head, blinking at Ruki as though his question is utterly ridiculous (which, it is). “If I didn’t want you to be here, you dummy, I would say so,” he replies, smiling and shaking his head.

“Just making sure,” Ruki says, gingerly lifting Kai’s feet before plopping down on the couch as well. Now, Kai’s lower legs are resting across Ruki’s lap, and it feels nice. However, Kai decides that he should probably roll over onto his back before he somehow manages to accidentally suffocate himself, and that’s exactly what he does.

When Kai is settled and comfortable, he blinks at Ruki questioningly, who is looking at him and grinning. “What is it?”

Ruki shakes his head, still grinning. “It’s just… you.”

Further perplexed, Kai replies with: “What about me?”

“Everything. You’re just… you.”

Kai is about to roll his eyes and answer, ‘Of course I’m me. Who else would I be?’, but Ruki doesn’t give him the opportunity to speak. Instead, the vocalist shifts so that he can lean over Kai and kiss him, and Kai decides to drop the subject for the time being.

“So… you wanna order some takeout?” Ruki murmurs, nuzzling Kai’s cheek. “I’ll pay for it~.”

Kai has to admit that food sounds pretty good right about now. Typically, he would cook when Ruki stayed with him, but he really doesn’t feel like cooking tonight. It won’t hurt to order out. “Chinese?” he asks hopefully.

Ruki smiles and nods. “Whatever my Kai-chan wants~.”

Kai snorts. “Considering your tone, I’m assuming that you want something in return?”

Ruki sits back up, gasping dramatically and clutching at his heart. “Why would you even say such a thing, Leader-sama~? I require nothing.”

Kai doesn’t believe him, and he feels that he has good reason to not believe him, considering the almost devilish look in Ruki’s eyes. “… Nothing?”

“Well…” Ruki places a finger beneath his chin, frowning thoughtfully. Of course, Kai already knows what’s going through his mind. “Some ‘dessert’ after dinner, perhaps?”


“There’s ice cream in the top of the refrigerator,” Kai offers with a smirk. It’s something that he says quite often when Ruki refers to sex as ‘dessert’

Ruki pouts. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“But ice cream is all I have in mind,” Kai replies, trying to look perfectly serious. “Ice cream tastes better than you do, anyway.”

But he doesn’t mean it. He never does.


When their takeout arrives, they don’t even bother to go to the kitchen. Instead, they retreat to the couch once more. Kai threatens to strangle Ruki if he manages to drop so much as a single grain of chicken fried rice or lo mein on his couch.

Ruki simply rolls his eyes and takes that moment to remind Kai that they’ve gotten worse than Chinese food on his couch before, and that came out, so of course, it shouldn’t be that difficult to get rice or noodles off the couch.

Kai blushes, and threatens to dump the entire contents of his own takeout plate onto Ruki’s head, informing Ruki that the only reason why he doesn’t do just that is because his couch would really be in a mess then.

They eat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, and then, Ruki decides to speak again. “The tour went really well, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. It was awesome,” Kai replies with a smile before he shoves another forkful of chicken fried rice into his mouth. “Nothinig better than being on stage,” he continues after having chewed and swallowed the mouthful of food. “Nothing better than knowing that you’re doing a good job. Nothing better than knowing that the fans are having a good time and enjoying the concert.”

“It is wonderful,” Ruki agrees, “but, for me, there is one thing that’s better.”

Kai looks at his lover curiously. “What’s that?”

“Being with you, like this. I mean, it’s great being on stage with you too, but it’s different when we’re like this, you know? It just… it feels so incredibly right, Kai-chan.” And Kai knows Ruki means it, because the look in his eyes is one of utter seriousness.

Kai feels his heart melt. It’s another thing that only Ruki is capable of doing, and he usually does it on a daily basis in some way or another. Trying to keep his composure, Kai leans over and kisses Ruki on his cheek. “You can be such a sap when you want to be. I wonder what the others would say about it~,” he teases.

“They’d just be jealous~,” Ruki replies. He then shifts, lifting his feet and resting them on the coffee table.

Kai blinks at the display in something akin to horror. “Ruki! What did I tell you about putting your feet on my coffee table?!”

Ruki waves at Kai unconcernedly, not bothering to move his feet. “If I recall correctly, I’ve had you naked on this coffee table before, Leader-sama~.”

And oh, what a wonderful evening that had been. Kai feels himself blushing yet again as his mind decides to so graciously provide him with a summary of that night (with images included to enhance the material and to further refresh his memory, of course), and for several moments, he cannot speak at all.

Finally, he manages to half-sputter: “I really don’t know why I put up with you.”

But he doesn’t mean it. He never does.


Later (much later), Kai and Ruki can be found in Kai’s bed; both of them are still trembling, their hearts are still pounding frantically, and their breathing is still irregular. Kai swears that he can still see stars dancing behind his eyelids. Their shared orgasm had been one of the most intense he’d ever experienced, and from the looks of it, Ruki feels very much the same.

Ruki is still buried inside of Kai, and Kai knows that they will have to move to a more comfortable position soon – they might actually get muscle cramps like this. But he doesn’t want to move yet, not when Ruki still feels perfect inside of him, even when the sex is over (for now, at least).

“Told you the hat would stay on,” Ruki says, lightly patting the cowboy hat that is resting atop Kai’s head, and still sounding like he’s completely out of breath.

Kai is far too content to try to argue at the moment. It’s too perfect of a moment to spoil with silly arguments – arguments that are never serious, mind you, but still. “Yes, you did,” he agrees, kissing the skin at the juncture of Ruki’s neck and shoulder.

It had been Ruki’s idea, of course. He had rummaged through his luggage for a bit and produced the cowboy hat – the same one that he had used in a photoshoot quite some time ago – proclaiming that he liked the hat far too much to get rid of it.

And then, he had practically swaggered over to Kai, wearing that seductive smirk of his – the one that always lets Kai know exactly what he wants, and the one that makes Kai feel more than a little weak-kneed (every single time). He had extended the hat to Kai, and had asked what had to be one of the corniest questions ever (“Wanna be a cowboy and ride me~?”), but he had practically purred that question, and Kai had been completely unable to resist the temptation.

After several more moments, Kai finally does manage to move, groaning softly as he lifts his hips and Ruki slides out of him. It is Ruki who reaches for the tissues that are resting on the bedside table (Kai had realized rather quickly that keeping tissues by the bed is a smart idea) and snatches a few, cleaning both of them up.

Kai removes the hat, tossing it aside (and ignoring Ruki’s look of protest in the process) and curling up against the warmth of Ruki’s body, still wanting and needing to be close. It’s okay, because he knows that Ruki wants and needs the closeness too.

Ruki wraps an arm around him, pulling him that much closer. Kai’s head is resting on Ruki’s chest, and Kai can hear Ruki’s heart beating. This feels perfect, too.

“I love you, Kai,” Ruki tells him. He’s said it before – much more than once – but it still overwhelms Kai each and every time that he hears Ruki say those words.

“I love you too, Ruki.”

And he does mean it. He always does.

He always has.

And he always will.

Tags: aoixuruha, kaixruki, miyavixreita, reitaxmiyavi, rukixkai, the gazette, transition, transition sidestory, uruhaxaoi

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