Pairing: Ruki/Kai (The GazettE)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Summary: Kai has a simple morning routine. Wake up, get out of bed without waking Ruki up, take a shower and take care of other bathroom-y necessities, and then fix breakfast. On this particular morning, however, the routine is interrupted. But you won’t hear Kai complaining…
Comments: If Ruki and Kai keep this up, they’re gonna be sharing the OTP spot with Reiyavi. >.>; This fic is a sequel (it would stand just fine on its own, though) to Chicken, and it takes place a month after the events in Chicken. Ruki and Kai aren’t as silly as they usually are (Kai tried to be playful, but Ruki wanted to stay mostly serious, which is unusual for him) in the fics I’ve been writing them into lately. However, I suppose even they can’t be silly all the time. Hope you guys like this fic~!
Kai rolled over and turned his alarm clock off in order to silence its incessant beeping, muttering dire threats to no one in particular – except maybe his alarm clock and mornings in general – under his breath. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a morning person; he happened to adore the morning hours, most of the time. The problem was that it took him a little while to wake up – a little while to gather his bearings and a good half-hour to an hour of resisting the urge to climb back into bed and snuggle under the covers against the warmth of Ruki’s body.
Ruki wouldn’t have had any exceptions to that, Kai was sure. Ruki wasn’t really a morning person at all; he usually preferred sleeping in as late as possible, and he didn’t enjoy being woken up before he wanted to wake up. The strange thing was that Ruki was perhaps one of the heaviest sleepers that Kai knew: one could probably bring a marching band in the bedroom (provided said marching band could fit in the bedroom) and instruct the members of the marching band to play as loudly as they pleased, and Ruki would still be sound asleep.
If that was an exaggeration, it was a very slight one.
A smile tugged at Kai’s lips as he gazed down at Ruki. The alarm clock hadn’t woken him, but Kai knew that even as Ruki slept, he was aware that Kai was no longer curled up beside him. Kai knew, because Ruki was shifting slightly in his sleep, moving closer to Kai’s side of the bed, apparently seeking the warmth of Kai’s body.
Kai was very tempted to wrap his arms around Ruki and snuggle against him once more. It would be so easy to do just that – to curl against Ruki and go back to sleep. But no. He only slept in on weekends, and it wasn’t the weekend. The sooner he got out of bed, the sooner he could take a shower; the sooner he could take a shower, the sooner he could go make breakfast. Had Ruki been awake, he would have argued that Kai didn’t have to get up early and make breakfast. Ruki would have told him that they could go out and eat breakfast, if they so desired.
However, Kai liked to make breakfast. He liked cooking in general. Ruki had once joked that Kai would make some guy a perfect wife one day. At that time, Kai had blushed and thrown a sneaker at him (and had missed). At that time, Kai hadn’t believed that he would ever be in a relationship with Ruki, and hadn’t given a second thought to the idea that making breakfast for Ruki and himself would become an almost everyday routine.
And Kai was sure now that it would become an everyday routine, and he was looking forward to it. He and Ruki hadn’t been together for very long – only a month – but already, they were falling into a comfortable routine. They hadn’t spent a night apart since they’d gotten together; Ruki would come to his place, or he would go to Ruki’s. Kai liked it that way – he liked waking up with Ruki beside him.
He realized only when Ruki nuzzled against him – realized too late – that he had become lost in his own thoughts. Ruki was pressed against him now, and Kai was even more tempted to stay in bed. There was no harm in staying in bed with Ruki, right?
An inner voice immediately piped up with: No. It’s not the weekend. Get up, take a shower, and make breakfast.
Kai wanted to argue with that inner voice – wanted to remind it that Ruki was just fine with Kai staying in bed – but he didn’t. Instead, he sighed and shifted, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Ruki’s forehead. He moved back then, still reluctant to leave the bed. If he remained there, looking at his sleeping lover, he would probably never manage to drag himself out of the bed, no matter how much that inner voice nagged at him.
He climbed out of bed slowly, that same inner voice telling him that he didn’t have to be so careful – telling him that Ruki wouldn’t be disturbed in the least by his leaving the bed – but Kai didn’t really pay it any mind this time. He padded across the room on bare feet, pausing and turning to look at Ruki once more (he was still sound asleep) before heading to the bathroom. He didn’t bother with shutting the door – the water running wouldn’t have woken Ruki, anyway.
Kai opened the shower door and turned on the water, slipping out of his t-shirt and boxers while he waited for the water to warm up. He tested it with his hand after a moment, and after finding it to be warm enough, he stepped into the shower, closing the plexiglass door behind him as he did so.
A cold shower would be better for waking up, certainly, but Kai wasn’t fond at all of taking cold showers. So, he stood underneath the spray of the almost-too-warm water, closing his eyes as it ran in rivulets down his body. It felt good, and it helped to relax him further. Had he been stretched out in a bathtub instead of standing in a shower, he probably would have been tempted to lean his head against the side of the tub and take a little catnap. However, there was a reason why he took showers in the morning: they were a lot quicker. Baths were meant to be taken in the evening – or in late afternoon – when there wasn’t really any other matters to attend to.
Smiling inwardly, he made a mental note to ask Ruki to take a bath with him that night. They hadn’t taken a bath together before, but they had showered together. There was precious little room for both of them in Kai’s shower, but neither of them had minded at the time, for they had been far too engrossed with each other to focus on the lack of space.
If you keep thinking along those lines, you’re going to need a cold shower, he scolded himself, and he attempted to direct his thoughts elsewhere – tried not to think of the Saturday morning that he had surprised Ruki by inviting him to shower with him. He thought of anything and everything but that morning; he thought of anything and everything but Ruki. It worked to a certain degree – Ruki was, after all, constantly on his mind, and it just wasn’t possible to completely take his mind off of his lover.
But he could certainly try, damnit.
He was just about to reach for a washcloth when a knock on the shower door alerted him to the fact that he was no longer the only one awake. Ruki was now awake as well, and he was gazing at Kai through the plexiglass. He was smiling softly, and the look in his eyes plainly asked: “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
Well, so much for taking his mind off of Ruki; there he was again, front and center. Well, he’s always liked the attention, Kai thought to himself, smiling inwardly. Instead of grabbing the nearby washcloth, he opened the shower door (even though Ruki could have done that on his own). He stepped away from the spray of water and while blinking water out of his eyes, asked Ruki what he was doing awake so early. The alarm clock hadn’t woken him, after all, and there was no chance that the water running would have woken him.
“I woke up when I couldn’t feel you in the bed anymore,” Ruki said, his voice still rough with sleep. Kai always liked to hear Ruki talk when he first woke up – it sent shivers down his spine, and this morning was no different from any other.
Ruki typically remained asleep on most mornings that Kai woke up before he did, but this was one of those rare atypical mornings, Kai supposed. He didn’t question it, though. Instead, he wordlessly stepped back underneath the showerhead and closed his eyes, leaving the shower door open: a silent invitation.
Ruki took the invitation just as silently as Kai offered it; Kai only opened his eyes again when he heard the shower door being closed and felt Ruki standing in front of him. They were standing only inches apart; they didn’t have room to stand much further apart than that, but Kai could honestly say that he didn’t mind at all, and he was certain that Ruki didn’t mind either.
Kai moved closer – close enough so that they were touching – and simultaneously moved slightly away from the shower head so that the water didn’t run into his eyes and down his face when he looked at Ruki. He started to open his mouth; he was going to tell Ruki ‘good morning’, but Ruki beat him to it.
One of Ruki’s arms encircled Kai’s waist and pulled him tightly against him, and Kai nearly made a noise of surprise at the gesture, though the feel of Ruki’s body against his own caused him to emit another sound altogether – one that had absolutely nothing to do with surprise. Ruki heard that sound; Kai knew because he heard Ruki chuckle almost satisfactorily.
Ruki tilted his head up, pressing his lips against Kai’s ear. “Good morning,” he purred, his fingers running lightly over Kai’s hip.
“Good morning,” Kai replied, his voice slightly breathy. And then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “You sound a bit more awake now.” He wriggled deliberately against Ruki, grinning at the sound that Ruki made against his ear as he did so – though admittedly, Kai had to bite back an almost-whimper of his own. “You feel like you’re fairly awake, too.”
Ruki nipped lightly at Kai’s earlobe before drawing it between his lips and sucking on it. “It’s difficult to stay sleepy when you’re naked, Kai. Naked and pressed against me… Sleeping is the last thing on my mind right now, I assure you.” There was still that edge of sleep in his voice, but sleep was no longer the reason for the roughness of Ruki’s voice. There were other things making his voice sound low and rough – things that Kai understood all too well.
Some part of Kai’s mind – the part that was still half asleep; the part that was attempting to tell him that it was way too early to be standing naked in the shower with his boyfriend; the part that was attempting to tell him that he was supposed to make breakfast this morning – was protesting, but the rest of Kai was absolutely refusing to listen to that particular part of his mind. “I’m feeling a little more awake now myself~.”
Ruki pulled back, a small smile playing on his lips. “Only a little, hm? Well, I’ll see what I can do about that.” Perhaps he wanted to say more, but then he stepped back a little. His eyes began traveling down Kai’s body and he fell silent, licking his lips in what Kai believed was an unconscious gesture. Ruki was looking at him as if he were something to eat, and that look alone made the muscles in Kai’s abdomen tighten. Some part of his brain might have still been fuzzy with sleep, but the rest of him was waking up, and waking up rather rapidly, too.
They had been together a month, and yet, Kai still wasn’t quite used to Ruki looking at him like that. Perhaps it was because Ruki was the only one who had ever looked at him like that before. Ruki had told him the night that they had admitted their feelings to each other that he was sexy, but Kai had never truly considered himself particularly attractive before that night. Well, attractive, perhaps. But sexy? No. And despite the fact that Ruki had told him several times since that night just how sexy, gorgeous, and wonderful he was, Kai still couldn’t quite understand why Ruki looked at him like that – like he was the most beautiful person in the entire world.
“You look at me like I’m the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, and like I’m something meant to be eaten.” Kai’s thoughts were voiced so softly that he believed there was no way Ruki would be able to hear him over the pounding of the water against the tiles. But, he was wrong.
Ruki’s reply was neither flippant nor sarcastic. “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He sounded perfectly serious; he looked perfectly serious. And then, that looked changed only slightly when one corner of his mouth turned up into a half-smirk. “As for the ‘something meant to be eaten’…” He trailed off, pressing a very soft, very chaste kiss to Kai’s lips before speaking again, his next words breathed against Kai’s lips. “You do make me feel hunger in ways that food does not satiate.”
Kai wanted Ruki to kiss him – a kiss that involved lips and tongue and roaming hands and perhaps a bit of teeth – but Ruki was holding back on purpose; he was waiting for Kai to give in and initiate the kiss instead. Either that, or he was waiting for Kai to tell him to kiss him. Either way, Kai wasn’t going to give his lover the satisfaction of giving in just yet, even though that was really what he wanted to do.
Instead of asking – or telling – Ruki to kiss him, Kai said, “You’re the only one who’s ever looked at me like that.” He was only delaying the inevitable; there was no way that he could be in such a position with his lover without kissing him… at least, not for very long. Ruki was, as far as Kai was concerned, honestly irresistible.
One of Ruki’s hands slid from Kai’s hip to the small of his back, and the other hand moved up, brushing wet hair away from Kai’s forehead. “The ones before me were blind,” he told Kai, leaning up again and brushing his lips against Kai’s forehead before drawing back, a half-smile still playing on his lips. “And I’ve got twenty-twenty vision.”
Ruki wasn’t giving in yet, either, obviously. Then again, he rarely did; Kai knew that Ruki enjoyed it when he took the initiative, and enjoyed it even moreso when Kai told him what he wanted him to do. Kai, knowing that he was defeated the moment Ruki stepped into the shower and pulled him close, slid his arms around Ruki’s neck and said, “Kiss me.”
“I was waiting for that,” Ruki said, now sounding quite satisfied. Satisfied with himself, or satisfied with Kai – Kai wasn’t quite sure. Perhaps it was a bit of both. “Beginning to wonder, though, if you were just gonna stand there and do nothing~.”
Kai would have pointed out that he could never be near Ruki and do nothing; he would have told him, but he knew that Ruki already knew the effect that he had on him – he knew it quite well, and used it to his advantage frequently. So instead of reiterating something that they both knew, Kai said: “Kiss me before I decide to maneuver us so that I can drown you.”
This was apparently not the morning for their usual banter, because Ruki once again refrained from replying with a smart-ass comment. Instead, he said, “I feel like I’m already drowning every single time I look at you, Kai.” There was the tiniest hint of a catch in his voice as he said those words, and that catch told Kai just how much Ruki meant what he had said.
If anyone else had used such a phrase as that, Kai probably would have laughed and considered it one of the cheesiest things he had ever heard. But the person standing before him wasn’t ‘anyone else’, it was Ruki - his Ruki – and when Ruki said things like that, Kai’s heart melted. “Ruki,” he began, “I--”
Ruki didn’t let him continue. He chose that moment to kiss Kai, and as soon as his lips pressed against Kai’s, Kai lost the words that he had been meaning to say. When Ruki kissed him, nothing else seemed to matter. When Ruki kissed him, words weren’t important. Kai didn’t try to resist, either – there was no point at all, considering he had already told Ruki to kiss him. He simply surrendered, closing his eyes and slightly tightening his hold on Ruki.
The kiss was nothing but gentle at first. Ruki’s lips moved slowly against Kai’s – almost lazily – as if they had all the time in the world to kiss just like that. But as soon as Ruki’s tongue flicked against Kai’s lips and as soon as Kai’s lips parted for him, and as soon as their tongues rubbed together, the kiss changed. It became something almost fierce – something needy and wanting.
Ruki kissed Kai like his life depended on it; he kissed him hard, tongue thrusting into Kai’s mouth in a way that mimicked intercourse. Kai opened his mouth wider for Ruki, letting him kiss him just as forcefully as he pleased, but he didn’t let Ruki completely dominate the kiss. He kissed Ruki back with just as much force and with just as much fervor, sucking on Ruki’s tongue even as he stroked his own tongue against it.
Ruki did something then – pressed himself forward in such a way that their lower bodies brushed together as their tongues did, and it tore a soft gasp from both of them. It was Kai who broke the kiss; it was Kai who gazed somewhat unfocusedly down at Ruki’s face – at his eyes – and breathed, “Ah, fuck,” at the raw need that he saw there. Both of them were fully awake now, and Kai wasn’t about to let an opportunity like this pass him by. “Ruki--”
Ruki stole his words away yet again, but in a different manner. This time, Ruki ground his hips against Kai’s, and Kai wound up cursing again instead of saying what it was that he really wanted to say. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Ruki murmured, grazing his teeth against the skin of Kai’s neck. “It could be like the last time we were in here together… We both came, just from doing this…” Again, he bucked his hips forward, and Kai groaned at the feel of their cocks – slick with water and precum – brushing against each other.
It was true that they could have continued grinding their hips together just like that, and they would’ve both achieved orgasm from it. But that wasn’t what Kai wanted – no, not this morning. He wanted more; he wanted much more, and he wanted to tell Ruki that, but he would never be able to concentrate enough to do so if Ruki kept moving against him like that.
Kai moved his arms from Ruki’s neck to his hips, holding them firmly, forcing his lover to cease his movements. Ruki gazed up at him, confusion and something akin to disappointment written all over his features. He struggled against Kai’s grip, but Kai held firm. Ruki quite obviously didn’t understand why Kai was making him stop, but he would understand soon enough – Kai would see to that.
Keeping his hands on Ruki’s hips, Kai leaned down, whispering into Ruki’s ear. “Do you know what I want, Ru-chan?”
“I assume you’re going to tell me.” Ruki’s own voice was barely above a whisper. “Or show me.” He wasn’t struggling against Kai’s grip anymore, but Kai could tell that he wanted to. Kai himself was very tempted to simply let Ruki go – tempted to let him continue where he had left off before he’d interrupted him. There would be no harm in it; both of them would receive pleasure from it. But no. Kai wanted a greater pleasure, and as soon as he told Ruki exactly what he wanted, he was certain that his lover would be perfectly willing to comply with his wishes.
“No,” Kai said, kissing along Ruki’s jaw. “Try to guess what I want, first.” He moved one hand from Ruki’s hip, stepping back from Ruki just enough to run that hand up Ruki’s abdomen and to his chest. Kai traced lazy circles around one of Ruki’s nipples until it came to attention, and then he rolled it between his thumb and forefinger, grinning as Ruki’s breath came a little faster.
Kai slid his other hand down, rubbing his palm over the head of Ruki’s cock before curling his fingers around Ruki’s length and squeezing just enough to make Ruki moan and push forward into Kai’s hand. Kai had released his hips, so he had the freedom to do that now.
“You’re making it difficult for me to guess doing that, you know,” Ruki informed him unnecessarily. Kai knew quite well what he was doing.
“Yes, I know,” Kai replied, nuzzling Ruki’s wet hair. He entertained the idea of going down on his lover and of pleasuring him that way for a little while – not enough to make him come, but enough to bring him almost to the edge of release. He thought better of it, though, and continued working his hand along Ruki’s cock, his thumb rubbing over the head every now and again. “But you’re going to have to guess, anyway.” It was a bit cruel, Kai knew, to torture Ruki like he was – to befuddle his mind and then expect him to guess what he wanted anyway. However, Ruki did things like that quite often.
Revenge was, indeed, quite sweet.
“Kai…” Ruki gazed up at him, his eyes pleading. Whether Ruki wanted him to stop or to keep going, Kai wasn’t sure. “Kai, please…” The words were a shuddering sigh.
Kai bit down on his bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood. He was supposed to be in perfect control of the situation, damnit! But he wasn’t; he never was, not really. Even though Ruki was pleading with him and looking at him like that - like he was already too far gone to care about anything else – Kai still wasn’t in control. He simply wasn’t, because one word, one look from Ruki, and Kai was completely undone.
Nevertheless, Kai was still going to try to keep himself together. He was going to try to not get too carried away and jerk Ruki off right where they stood. No, he had other plans. “Guess, Ruki,” he said, voice low. The water was beginning to feel less warm now – it would probably be cold soon, but that wasn’t important, not right now. He continued lazily stroking Ruki, and the fingers that had been lavishing attention to Ruki’s left nipple now moved to the right nipple, giving it the same treatment.
For several seconds, Ruki did not answer. There was simply the sound of the running water and the sounds of Ruki’s soft gasps and moans. Ruki’s arms tightened their hold around Kai, and Ruki finally said: “You want a repeat performance of the last time we were in here together?”
Kai smiled and shook his head, squeezing Ruki’s cock harder than before, almost as a reprimand for Ruki’s incorrect guess. “Not a repeat performance, no. I want more than that, but I wouldn’t mind if it happened here…” He trailed off, still smiling, watching as understanding began to dawn on his lover. “Do you understand? Do you know what I want?”
Almost as abruptly as Kai had gained the upper hand (sort of), the tables turned, and Ruki wrapped his fingers around Kai’s wrist, applying enough pressure to make a point, but not enough to actually hurt. Kai assumed that point was: ‘Stop stroking my dick now’, and, without a word, Kai reluctantly did so. Ruki let Kai move his hand from his cock, but he kept his fingers wrapped around Kai’s wrist. “I understand, all right, but I want to hear you say it. Tell me directly. Don’t beat around the bush.”
Of course, Ruki wanted Kai to be specific. That was something Kai had also learned the night they had gotten together. Ruki had told him that it was a turn-on, to hear Kai tell him exactly what he wanted. Kai was used to doing so by now, and he even liked being specific with Ruki, because he knew just how much it turned Ruki on.
Even so, Kai could still feel a blush creeping to his cheeks – inwardly, he cursed himself for being so fair-skinned – when he met Ruki’s gaze. The heated look in those eyes made Kai forget his words again, and for a moment or two, he didn’t speak at all.
“Tell me, baby.” Ruki let go of Kai’s wrist then and moved both hands to Kai’s hips, lightly resting them there. “Tell me what you want.” His voice was a fraction less rough than it had been, but it was still rough enough to send a wave of heat straight to Kai’s groin.
Keeping his eyes firmly locked on Ruki’s, Kai told Ruki exactly what he wanted. “I want to feel you inside of me, Ruki.”
Ruki remained silent and unmoving for a moment, his eyes seeming to study Kai’s face. It was as if he expected to find some trace of doubt on Kai’s face, or in Kai’s eyes. And then, he asked, “Are you sure?”
During the weeks that they had been together, they hadn’t gone that far yet. They had done other things, such as handjobs, blowjobs, and rimming, but they hadn’t actually gone all the way yet. From the beginning, Ruki had promised Kai that he wouldn’t try to push him into anything that he wasn’t sure of; he had promised that he could wait until Kai felt that it was the right time, and Kai had promised him the same.
Ruki could have taken Kai right then and there without asking him, but he was being considerate. Kai knew that Ruki just wanted to make certain that he was ready, and that he wasn’t just saying that he wanted Ruki now just because he felt like he had to, for whatever reason.
But Kai did not feel like he had to; he wanted to, and that was what he told Ruki. “I want you, Ruki. I am absolutely certain of that.”
That seemed to be answer enough for Ruki, because in the next instant, Ruki was kissing Kai with an almost bruising force. His tongue demanded entry into Kai’s mouth, and just like earlier, Kai’s lips parted immediately. This kiss, however, did not start off being gentle. It was instantly rough, insomuch that even as Ruki’s tongue plundered his mouth, Kai had to open even wider for him, lest he cut his lips on Ruki’s – or his own – teeth.
As the kiss continued, Kai wondered if Ruki would somehow become worried that he was frightening Kai in some way with his actions. Ruki had never kissed him like this before, at least, not to begin with. If their kisses became this fierce, it was because they grew that way, not because they started that way. It confused Kai a little and made him wonder why Ruki was suddenly kissing him so forcefully (even with more force than he had earlier), but it didn’t make him feel frightened in the least. If anything, it made him feel even more excited than he already was, and he was determined to show Ruki that he could not scare him with his need, because Kai’s own need matched Ruki’s.
Like earlier, Kai kissed Ruki back – kissed Ruki just as forcefully as Ruki was kissing him. At one point, Ruki pulled back, his teeth lightly grazing over Kai’s bottom lip before he bit down. It hurt a little, but blood was not drawn, just as it had not been drawn when Kai had bit his lip himself. Kai made a noise low in his throat, and, as if apologizing for what he’d just done, Ruki ran his tongue over where he’d bitten Kai, and then sucked on Kai’s bottom lip lightly. The actions drew another small sound from Kai, and he pressed even closer to his lover, if that were at all possible.
Ruki drew back then, licking his own kiss-swollen lips. He reached behind Kai, turning off the water – which had become even less warm by now – before pressing a soft kiss to Kai’s cheek. “If we were doing anything else, I’d say I’m perfectly fine with staying in here, whether the water became freezing cold or not. But… this is going to be our first time going all the way together, and I’d rather it happen in the bed than in the cramped shower. Is that okay?”
Kai smiled brightly. “It’s perfectly okay. There will be other times that we can christen the shower, so to speak.”
“Indeed,” Ruki purred, taking Kai’s hand and leading him out of the shower.
Once they had stepped out of the shower and Kai had shut the shower door behind them, Ruki began heading back to the bedroom, attempting to tug Kai along with him. Kai, however, refused to budge and he remained where he was, glaring at Ruki for all that he was worth.
Ruki did not glare back; he merely looked at Kai, confusion and something very close to impatience written all over his face. “… What’s wrong?”
Kai reached for a nearby towel and began drying himself off. “I’m just as eager as you are, Ru-chan, but I don’t want either of us to drip water all through the house.”
Ruki wrinkled his nose. “We’re just going to the bedroom, Almighty Leader-sama,” he said matter-of-factly. “If we drip water on the floor and on the bed, it doesn’t really matter, because both the floor and the bed are perfectly capably of drying. “And,” he added, almost as an afterthought, “on top of that, it’s not like we haven’t gotten messier things on the bedsheets before. They’re definitely going to need washing anyway, after we’re finished with them.”
Kai couldn’t argue with Ruki’s reasoning, but part of him still wanted to try to do just that. He could feel himself blushing yet again, and when he opened his mouth to argue, the words simply would not come. He tried three times to speak, and each time, he failed miserably. It was probably for the best, to be honest, because he hadn’t managed to think of a proper retort, anyway. Abandoning the tirade that refused to come into being in the first place, Kai simply scowled at his lover, though the scowl was less than it should have been due to the fact that he was still blushing.
Ruki snickered at what Kai supposed was his lack of an argument, and then he stepped closer to Kai, gesturing toward the towel that Kai was currently using to dry off with. With a smile still playing on his lips, he said, “That towel’s big enough for the both of us.”
Kai remained silent, but he did open the towel wide enough for Ruki to join him in the circle of its warmth and its dryness. Another silent invitation.
“You’re still blushing~,” Ruki informed Kai as Kai began drying Ruki off as well. Like in the shower, they were forced to stand incredibly close together – that is, if they both wanted to dry off. “You’re sexy when you blush.”
Of course, that only caused Kai to blush even more, and he hurriedly finished drying both of them off, anticipation riding his body, making him move a bit faster than he would have otherwise. But the anticipation was laced with nervousness, and it was the nervousness that made him fumble as he moved to place the towel back on the towel rack.
If Ruki noticed Kai’s fumbling, he did not say anything about it. Instead, he took Kai’s hand again, and they headed back to the bedroom – this time, without interruptions. Ruki was nervous, too. Perhaps not as visibly nervous as Kai himself was, but as they made their way back to Kai’s bedroom, Kai noticed that Ruki kept rubbing his thumb over the back of Kai’s hand, over and over again. Kai had learned – even before they had gotten together – that that particular gesture was something that Ruki did when his nerves were getting the better of him. And though Kai himself was nervous as well, he squeezed Ruki’s hand lightly in an attempt to reassure him.
Only when they re-entered the bedroom, only when Ruki gently lowered Kai to the bed, and only when Kai tugged Ruki down as well so that Ruki was on top of him, did Kai realize that he was shaking, and shaking badly at that. Shaking with eagerness and need, and shaking with something not entirely unlike fear – fear that this would not be all that Ruki wanted it to be. Fear that, somehow, he would not be the lover that Ruki wanted and needed. Fear that this would not be perfect, and Kai wanted it to be perfect, for both of them.
His trembling did not go unnoticed; it couldn’t have, even if Kai had wanted it to. “You’re shaking,” Ruki murmured against Kai’s lips, and then he pulled back and gazed down at him. “Why are you shaking so much, baby?” The worry was evident in Ruki’s voice as well as in his piercing gaze.
It took Kai a few tries before he could find his voice. “Because I want this,” he answered, his voice catching in his throat when he said it. “And because I want it to be perfect for both of us.”
Ruki gave Kai a look that seemed to say: And here I thought I was the sap, and then he smiled and leaned back down again, kissing Kai deeply. The kiss was thorough and passionate and somehow reassuring in its own way, and when Ruki pulled back for breath, Kai blinked up at him unfocusedly. “I’m with you, Kai. To me, because of that, this cannot be anything but perfect.”
Kai, both surprised and overjoyed by Ruki’s words, wrapped his arms tightly around Ruki’s neck and dragged him down, crushing their lips together. This time, it was Kai who sought entrance into Ruki’s mouth, his tongue flicking out to tease at Ruki’s bottom lip – a small, wet touch.
Ruki’s lips parted for him, and Kai thrust his tongue into Ruki’s mouth, kissing him with a hunger and an almost desperation that he hadn’t known he possessed. He was still shaking, though now his legs were shaking worse than his arms. Lucky that he was lying down; otherwise, his legs wouldn’t have been able to hold him. But the fact that he was shaking didn’t matter anymore. The only thing that mattered at that moment was that Ruki was kissing him back, and Ruki was kissing him just as hungrily as he was kissing Ruki.
Ruki shifted, sliding between Kai’s legs, and Kai opened his legs wider in order to give Ruki more room. Ruki pressed closer, and it was then that Kai felt Ruki’s hardness against his inner thigh. Just the feel of Ruki pressed against him like that was enough to tear a moan from Kai’s throat and was enough to make Kai’s back arch – enough to make him demand more with his body language.
Without breaking the kiss, Kai bent one knee only slightly, and the action caused the skin of his inner thigh to brush against the velvet-soft skin of Ruki’s cock, providing a small amount of friction. It was Ruki’s turn to moan, and it was Ruki who broke the kiss and looked down at Kai once more, though this time, he seemed more than a little dazed. “I can tease back, you know.” It wasn’t an empty threat, and Kai knew it.
“You’re welcome to do so,” Kai replied, his voice a purr. He bent his leg a little more, absolutely loving the look that came over Ruki’s face as he did so. “I can tell that you like this~.”
“I know what you like, too.” Even as he said the words, Ruki slid a hand between them, fingers briefly playing along Kai’s abdomen before traveling lower, ever so lightly tracing along the length of Kai’s cock. He stopped at the head, and Kai gave a keening whimper, hips jerking upward of their own accord. The jerking of his hips caused the precum that had been gathering at the tip of his cock to smear against Ruki’s finger, and Ruki smiled, bringing that finger to his lips and sucking the precum off of it. “Magic fingers~,” he told Kai, waving said ‘magic fingers’ in front of Kai’s face. But then he grew serious again, and his voice became a husky whisper. “Would you like to feel what else my fingers can do?”
“Yes,” Kai breathed without hesitation, his entire body thrumming with his need.
Ruki moved off of Kai then, and Kai made a sound of protest. “Shh,” Ruki told him as he slid to the edge of the bed, smiling at Kai over his shoulder. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” He leaned over then, rummaging under the bed, giving Kai a very nice view of his ass.
With his gaze firmly fixed on the tempting sight of his lover’s backside, Kai opened his mouth to ask what Ruki was doing, but Ruki answered him before he even managed to get the question out. Ruki’s answer was not a verbal one, though. Instead, he sat back up and turned back to Kai, clutching a bottle of lube – lube that Kai himself had purchased (and he hadn’t told Ruki that he’d bought it, either) and had placed under the bed shortly after he and Ruki had gotten together, for future purposes – and wearing a pleased smirk.
Kai raised an eyebrow. “You knew that was there? I never even told you about it.”
Ruki’s smirk turned into a grin that was almost sheepish. “I discovered it a few nights ago by accident, to be honest.” He opened the bottle, moving back between Kai’s legs before he squeezed some of the lube onto his fingers and rubbed his fingers together, spreading the liquid. “Nice to know that you were looking ahead when you got it.”
Kai started to reply, but at that moment, Ruki slid his hand between them again and pressed his lube-slicked fingers against Kai’s opening – a gentle pressure – and both Kai’s words and breath were stolen away. All that Kai managed was another whimper – a wordless plea for those fingers to push into him instead of press against him.
Ruki gave Kai what he wanted, pushing one finger into him and pausing, apparently giving Kai time to adjust to the sensation. “Does this hurt, or does it feel good?”
There was no pain, and so Kai answered, “It feels good. Keep going. Please.”
Ruki began thrusting that finger in and out of him then, and that was when the stretching and vaguely burning sensations began. Not entirely unpleasant, but not completely pleasant either. And as if he had read Kai’s mind, Ruki said, “Not even this will feel nothing but good at first, but I’m going slow. I’m letting you get used to this. It should start feeling good soon.”
After a few more thrusts of that finger, Ruki added a second finger and the discomfort grew. Ruki continued thrusting those fingers inside of him, stretching him, preparing him for what was to come. Eventually, the discomfort lessened, and Kai began thrusting down onto those fingers, groaning softly as he did so.
“You’re tight,” Ruki told him, his voice only just above a whisper. He scissored his fingers inside of Kai and then twisted his wrist in some way that made Kai feel absolutely nothing but pleasure. “But you like this, hmm?” Another twist of Ruki’s wrist, and Kai cried out, hips jerking of their own accord.
“It gets even better than this.” Ruki added a third finger then, opening Kai up even more. There was a change in the movements of his fingers then, as though he were searching for something. He apparently found it, because the next thrust of those fingers was very deliberate, and his fingers brushed against Kai’s sweet spot. Kai cried out again, his eyes rolling back into his head. It seemed to satisfy Ruki, because Kai could feel him smile against his cheek. “If my fingers are starting to feel this good inside of you, what do you it’ll feel like when I’m inside of you?” He brushed his fingers against that spot again and again until Kai was moaning and writhing beneath him, unable to draw breath enough to answer Ruki’s question, but what he wanted to say was: Fucking fantastic.
Ruki withdrew his fingers quicker than Kai wanted him to, and Kai made soft pleading noises, wanting more than anything for that sweet torture to continue. Ruki chuckled softly at his eagerness and kissed Kai lightly on the lips. “Patience,” he said, and Kai made another noise – a noise that was almost a growl – and he lifted his hips, grinding them against Ruki’s in an attempt to show him that he could be patient no longer.
Ruki groaned and thrust down against Kai, letting their cocks rub together once, twice, before he grasped Kai’s hips and gently but firmly pinned Kai’s lower body to the bed. “Behave,” he told Kai, and then he let Kai’s hips go and reached for the lube once more. Kai did as he was told, his breath catching in his throat as he watched Ruki slick himself up with the lube.
“I could do that for you,” Kai offered, his eyes still transfixed on Ruki’s hand and what that hand was doing.
Ruki stopped, and only then did Kai’s gaze land on Ruki’s face once again, and on the small smile that played on his lips. “And I would let you, but I’m not so sure that you would behave yourself and stop in time.”
Kai answered Ruki’s smile with one of his own. “True,” he conceded. “I can’t say that I would behave myself with your cock in my hand.”
“And that is why I did this myself,” Ruki said, setting the lube aside once more and repositioning himself between Kai’s legs. “I don’t want to come until I’m inside of you and you’ve already orgasmed.”
“That can be arranged.” Kai grinned, looping his arms around Ruki’s neck once more. He was ready – no, more than ready – to feel Ruki inside of him, and he was sure that it showed in his eyes and in the way his body trembled when Ruki lowered himself so that the tip of him nudged at Kai’s opening. Kai practically mewled and lifted his hips, telling Ruki with his body language that he wanted this.
Kai thought that Ruki would take the hint and thrust inside of him, but he didn’t, not yet. Instead, Ruki pressed his lips against Kai’s and very softly whispered, “I’m so sorry for this.”
Kai, whose mind was hazed with pleasure, could not think of what it was that Ruki could have been apologizing for. He started to ask, but then Ruki drove his hips down and forward, and it was in that moment that Kai understood why Ruki had apologized. He cried out – though not in pleasure – and clutched at Ruki, his blunt nails digging into the skin of Ruki’s back. Ruki had apologized because he had known that it would hurt Kai their first time. Kai had known it as well, but he hadn’t known it would hurt like this. The pain was sharp and immediate, and Kai’s body was already beginning to fight against the intrusion even though Kai knew that he still wanted this.
“I’m sorry,” Ruki breathed over and over again, nuzzling at Kai’s neck. “I know it has to hurt, and I’m sorry. But you’re going to have to relax, baby. Relax and stop fighting it, or we won’t be able to continue.” He met Kai’s eyes then, his own eyes searching Kai’s face once more. “If you want me to stop…”
“No!” Kai’s outburst wasn’t quite a yell, but it was very close. “No,” he repeated, softer this time. “I want this. I don’t want you to stop.” He forced himself to relax as much as he possibly could – no easy task, but he managed it – and then he nodded at Ruki. “Keep going.”
Even though Ruki had stretched him beforehand, and even though Kai was currently forcing himself to remain relaxed, Ruki still had to work himself the rest of the way inside. He moved slowly, giving Kai time to adjust, and Kai tried his best to keep himself from bloodying Ruki’s back. It was an almost burning sort of pain, feeling Ruki push inside of him. He had to tell himself over and over again that it would get better – that it wouldn’t hurt like this for much longer, if only he would let Ruki keep going.
When Ruki was fully buried inside of Kai, he paused, gazing at him with half-lidded eyes. “That’s all of me,” he told Kai, his voice laced with something very much like wonder. “All of me in you, Kai. And you’re tight—fuck, you’re tight…” His arms were shaking almost as badly as the rest of Kai was shaking, and Kai knew that they were shaking with the force of restraint. Ruki could have kept going – he had Kai where he wanted, after all. He could have kept going, but he didn’t. Instead, he remained still, waiting for Kai to tell him to keep going.
Kai stayed still as well, waiting for some of the discomfort to fade before he whispered, “Okay. You can keep going now.”
Ruki pulled back a little and then pushed back inside of Kai, his arms trembling even more as he did so. He repeated the action, again and again, beginning a slow, shallow rhythm. The pain gradually lessened with each movement of Ruki’s hips, and eventually, Kai began moving himself, lifting his hips to meet Ruki’s thrusts, no longer able to keep still.
“Feeling better?” Ruki gasped out, and his next thrust was a little harder than before, though still shallow.
“Yes,” Kai replied, closing his eyes as the pleasure continued to chase the pain away. “You don’t have to keep holding back so much. I’m okay now. I want you to move faster and harder – as fast and as hard as you want.”
Ruki shuddered above him, but was perfectly still within him. He seemed to be torn between keeping that same slow rhythm and beginning a new one. Finally, he said, “I don’t know if it’ll feel good to you if I let my body do what it wants right now. I can keep going slow for now… work my way up to it… I don’t want to cause you more pain than what I have to, Kai.”
Kai spread his legs wider and bent his knees more, lifting his hips again and forcing Ruki to slide even deeper inside of him. It felt good, and he moaned at the sensation, his eyes falling shut as he said Ruki’s name. When he blinked them back open and gazed up at his lover, he found Ruki gazing right back, his eyes glazed over with pleasure. “This feels good, Ruki. And even if it does start hurting again, I know that it won’t be like it was a little while ago. I can handle it. I promise.”
Ruki made a sound low in his throat – a sound that was a mix of relief, gratitude, desire, and perhaps a thousand other things that Kai’s besotted mind did not want to attempt to distinguish at the moment. At that moment, all he wanted to do was feel.
Ruki pulled back then, almost all the way out of Kai so that only the tip of him remained inside, and then he shoved himself back in, and Kai moaned and clutched at him as he met the movement of Ruki’s hips with his own. There was a little pain now, because Ruki wasn’t being as gentle as he had been, but there was more pleasure than pain, and Kai somehow knew that if they kept going just as they were, pain would no longer be an issue.
Even though Kai had given Ruki permission to do as he desired and not to worry about him, Ruki still seemed to be holding himself back. “Kai,” he said softly, stilling for a moment, fully buried within Kai’s body, “… This is okay?”
“Keep going!” Kai’s answer was a fierce, demanding growl. “If I want you to stop, I will tell you.”
Ruki made that sound again – the sound that he had made just moments ago when Kai had told him that he would be fine – and he leaned down, pressing his lips to Kai’s as his lower body began moving again. Again, Kai opened to him, lips parting and taking what Ruki gave. Ruki’s tongue thrust into Kai’s mouth in much the same manner as his length thrust into Kai’s body, and Kai yielded to him. Though, as he took, he also gave. As Ruki moved within him, he rocked his hips up to meet him, and as Ruki’s tongue brushed against his own, he caught it and sucked on it, almost smiling as Ruki moaned into his mouth. He swallowed that moan, and when Ruki pulled back and drove into him again, it was his turn to gasp against Ruki’s lips.
It was Kai who broke the kiss, needing air though wishing that he didn’t. He licked his kiss-swollen lips, his eyes traveling from Ruki’s face down the line of his body, settling on their lower bodies – on the way that they moved together. The sight alone made his cock throb almost painfully. “Ruki, look at us…”
Ruki seemed a little puzzled, but then he followed Kai’s gaze and he shuddered, losing his rhythm for several seconds as he watched their bodies come together in a dance that was as old as time itself. “Fuck, Kai…” Kai felt Ruki twitch within him, and then Ruki was looking away from their lower bodies, focusing again on Kai’s face instead. “You’re beautiful,” he said, and his voice was barely above a whisper. “The look on your face, the way your body moves against mine…” He trailed off, leaning down to lap at the sheen of sweat on Kai’s throat. “And being inside of you feels fucking amazing.”
“You are beautiful,” Kai replied, hands moving almost soothingly over Ruki’s back. “And having you inside of me feels fucking amazing.” And though Kai’s voice was heavy with need, all of the emotion with which those words were spoken was clearly visible.
Ruki smiled then, a smile that was so full of adoration and brilliance, and Kai could have wept because of it. Tears of so many emotions made his eyes burn and threatened to spill over, but Kai blinked them back; now was not the time for tears. But even as he held his own tears at bay, he could have sworn that he saw the shine of unshed tears in Ruki’s eyes as well. Perhaps they were hopeless saps – the both of them.
Ruki’s thrusts were slower now, still deep, but not as fast as either of them wanted, Kai knew. “Ruki, please… Faster…” It was torture to go at such a slow pace when Kai’s body wanted to move faster; his body craved release, and at a pace this slow, release would not be achieved. Even still, another part of him wanted to make this last as long as it could, and perhaps that’s what Ruki wanted, too.
He moved to wrap his legs around Ruki’s waist, but Ruki stopped him, shifting his weight from his arms to his legs as he grasped Kai’s thighs in a gentle grip. “No,” he said. “Keep your legs as they are, knees bent. I’m going to change my angle, and I’m going to make you feel so good, Kai.” The words were a promise, and they made Kai’s toes curl.
Ruki released Kai’s legs and placed his hands back on the mattress again, on either side of Kai, simultaneously shifting between Kai’s legs as he did so. His next thrust was slow as well – almost experimental – but from this angle, he had access to that spot that he had found earlier with his fingers. When Kai felt the length of Ruki’s cock drag along his prostate, he made a sound that was almost a scream of pleasure, his hips bucking upwards of their own accord, his muscles clenching around Ruki, his cock throbbing hard. “Oh, oh, fuck, do that again!”
And Ruki did. Now, it did not hurt. Nothing hurt, and nothing would – not now. Not with Ruki brushing against Kai’s prostate with each movement of his hips. Ruki seemed to give himself permission to let himself go – to go as fast and as hard as he wanted to go. He began an entirely different rhythm, harder and faster and even deeper than before, and Kai had difficulty matching that rhythm at first, but he managed, and Ruki seemed very pleased that Kai was still moving with him.
At this rate, Kai would not last long, and he knew it. It felt wonderful, and each time Ruki drove into him, it pushed him closer and closer to the edge. His ears filled with the sounds of their harsh panting and their moans and whimpers and cries, and even that in itself was a sort of pleasure. Knowing that Ruki was making those noises and looking at him like that – like he was the only person in the world who had ever made him feel like he felt in that moment – only helped to build the pleasure even more. “I’m going to come soon,” he managed to gasp out, his nails digging into Ruki’s back again.
“I know,” Ruki replied, pausing to whimper as Kai clenched around him again. “I know. Me too.”
Kai slid his hand between them then, wrapping his fingers around his length and stroking himself in time with their thrusts. In his heightened state, the action felt even better than it had before when he’d touched himself, and he didn’t even bother to try to hold back a guttural moan as he flicked his thumb over the sensitive head of his cock, swiping at the fluid that had gathered there. Some of his precum had spilled down his cock, onto his inner thighs and his belly, making his skin slick so that his hand glided easily over his length, from the head to the base and back again.
He didn’t realize that he had closed his eyes until he felt one of Ruki’s hands on his own. He forced his eyes open then and watched as Ruki entwined his fingers with his, watched as Ruki helped jerk him off. Their fingers and the palms of their hands found all the right, sensitive places, and Ruki continued to plunge inside of him, slamming into his prostate each time. The pleasure continued to build until Kai was certain that he would die from it – die, or go perfectly insane. Perhaps both, and not in that order.
“Come for me,” Ruki urged Kai, his breath hot against Kai’s ear. “Let me watch you lose control while I’m still inside of you.” His fingers squeezed Kai then, his cock slammed into him again, and it was too much, too much. It was as though a cup that was already full to the brim was suddenly running over, and before Kai could even manage a response, he was coming and he was coming hard, his back arching and his muscles clamping down around Ruki over and over again. He could feel his release as it spurt onto their hands, the warmth and slight stickiness of it as it slid down his cock and onto his abdomen and inner thighs, mixing with the precum and the sweat. Distantly, he realized that he was crying out Ruki’s name again and again, his nails raking down Ruki’s back.
Kai’s body was trembling, jerking, and Ruki kept moving inside of him, moving even as Kai continued to clench around him and all but scream his name. This orgasm was more intense than any of his previous ones, and he knew that it was because Ruki was inside of him, and he wanted to continue rocking his hips up to meet Ruki, but his body no longer wanted to cooperate at all. He was shaking too much – for an entirely different reason – and the muscles in his legs refused to work anymore. So he lay still beneath Ruki, finally quieting down and murmuring soft words of encouragement into Ruki’s ear.
Ruki’s rhythm changed again, his thrusts just as ragged as his breathing. He buried his face against Kai’s neck, kissing and nipping at the skin and even though his words were muffled, Kai heard them. “Just a little more… ahhh, fuck this is good…” He gave Kai’s fingers and Kai’s cock one last, gentle squeeze before he pressed his hand to the mattress again so that he could support his upper body with both of his arms, and his thrusts became something almost fierce – most definitely something desperate. And Kai, even though he’d already had his pleasure, still clenched around Ruki as Ruki moved inside of him, and that seemed to help Ruki along, but otherwise, Kai remained totally passive beneath him. He was worn out in the way that only really good sex could wear one out.
One more thrust, and suddenly Ruki was shuddering all over, his hands clenching rhythmically around the sheets, and he was crying out over and over again, the sound still muffled against the skin of Kai’s neck. Kai could feel the warmth of Ruki’s release within him, and it felt so incredibly right. It was real. This was real.
Kai held Ruki while he rode out his orgasm, wishing that he could see Ruki’s face, but not wanting to say, ‘Hey, you think you can lift your head so I can watch your face while you orgasm?’ There would be other times, after all, and it wasn’t like Kai hadn’t watched Ruki as he became lost in pleasure before, he just never got tired of seeing that particular sight, and he was sure that he never would.
The seemingly uncontrollable spasms subsided, and Ruki collapsed on top of Kai. He was still trembling just a little, but that was okay, because Kai was, too. Kai ran a shaky hand through Ruki’s hair, smiling softly as Ruki murmured his name over and over again. Kai could feel Ruki’s pulse, and knew that Ruki’s heart was beating just as erratically as his own. Their bodies were still joined, and Kai knew that they would have to move eventually, but not now. Not now.
When Kai believed he had his breathing under control and when he felt like he could trust his voice, he said, “That was amazing.”
Ruki finally lifted his head and looked at Kai. He was smiling. “Yes, it was.” He kissed Kai softly, and then pulled back, gazing at him in what appeared to be a thoughtful manner. “… Next time, can we do this the other way around? I mean, I want the opportunity to feel you inside of me, too…”
They had sort of discussed this the night they had gotten together, though said ‘discussion’ had been more teasing than serious, and they hadn’t really spoken about it since then. And now, Ruki was—wait a minute! Was Ruki actually blushing?! Ruki practically never blushed – no, no, that particular action was left up to Kai, and blushing was something that he did often, especially when Ruki started talking dirty to him. Ruki was not the type to blush, and yet there he was with just a tinge of pink coloring his cheeks.
Ruki blushing was a sight so rarely seen, and Kai had the sudden urge to tease him for blushing, but no. Now was not the time. Instead of teasing his lover, Kai smiled and said, “Of course we can.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and eventually, Ruki drew back, slipping out of Kai. Kai made a soft noise of protest at the loss of contact, but then Ruki was beside him, wrapping his arms around him and drawing him close. Kai snuggled against him, feeling warm and content and loved, and somewhat sleepy. Perhaps he would begin to feel some soreness later, but he felt nothing of the sort right now.
“You know,” Kai began, breaking the silence once more, “I was going to make breakfast this morning. I was supposed to be taking a shower, but you interrupted me.”
“Are you complaining?” There was definitely a hint of amusement in Ruki’s voice.
“No,” Kai replied.
“Good.” Ruki’s voice took on a more satisfied tone. “And you know, I’ve told you a billion times that you don’t have to worry about making such a huge deal over breakfast. We can order breakfast this morning, or we can go out.”
Ruki’s logic was winning again. Kai lifted his head and pouted at Ruki. “That may be true, but I really need a shower now, and the sheets need to be washed, too. They’re a mess, and so are we.”
Ruki nodded, grinning. “Yeah, we could use a shower. A real one. Tell you what. Let’s just stay here a little longer, and then when we feel like moving again, we can throw these sheets in the washing machine. Then we can go take a shower. I’ll even wash your hair for you, if you want me to. And theeeennn~ we can go out or order in or whatever you want to do~.”
It sounded like a good plan to Kai. He pillowed his head against Ruki’s shoulder again, sighing happily. His morning routine had been interrupted, sure, but it was quite fine with him. If his mornings could always be like this, he’d throw the routine out the window, and he would be happy to see it go. And though both of them were a mess, all Kai wanted to do at that moment was stay right there, in Ruki’s arms. “I don’t think I’ll feel like moving for a while, Ruki.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
The morning couldn’t have been more perfect.