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16 August 2006 @ 06:37 pm
Transition (Chapter Five: Loathing?) - Miyavi/Reita  
Title: Transition
Author: Kagome
Chapters: 5/11
Theme: This chapter is based on theme #24 - Hate
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing: Miyavi (solo)/Reita (Gazette)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. You ought to know it by now. XD
Summary: When Reita thinks his life is just fine the way it is, Miyavi steps in and turns his entire world completely upside down.
Comments: Chapter five takes place pretty much directly after chapter four. Uruha and Reita have a rather serious telephone conversation, and you will find out Uruha’s true reason for nagging at Reita like he does. Reita also has a telephone conversation with Ruki, though that particular conversation isn’t quite as serious. Kai and Ruki continue to bicker and poke fun at each other like they have been wanting to do all throughout this fic (perhaps there’s some sexual tension between them, heh.). The main thing I’m trying to focus on in this chapter is the change in Reita’s feelings. Interested? Then by all means, click and read. ^_^ Written, of course, for 50stories.

Chapter One: The Beginning
Chapter Two: Heat
Chapter Three: Transgression
Chapter Four: Avarice


Chapter Five: Loathing?



It was well into the early hours of the morning (around eight or nine, maybe) when Miyavi finally left. To put it plainly and honestly, I was exhausted. I was kicking myself over and over again for keeping Miyavi at my place for so long, although a large part of me was quite satisfied with what had taken place between the two of us since we had arrived at my ‘humble abode’. I had the feeling that Miyavi left that morning just as exhausted as I was. I felt oddly accomplished because of that.

I was about to leave the living room and stumble into the bathroom for a shower when I noticed that my cellphone was on the floor. Apparently, I had been a little too focused on Miyavi to have decent aim when I’d thrown the phone at the chair earlier. I started to pick it up; I was even going to turn it on, but then I changed my mind and left it right where it was. I was in absolutely no hurry to turn my cell back on, because I knew that I would more than likely be bombarded with voice messages from my bandmates. I wasn’t in the mood to hear Uruha’s lectures or Ruki’s jokes – or even Kai’s jokes, for that matter. Aoi would probably be the only one out of my four bandmates who wouldn’t lecture me for sleeping with Miyavi or crack jokes about it.

I took a quick shower and then headed to the bedroom, blinking at the answering machine, which rested on the small table next to my bed. I had three new messages, and I didn’t want to hear a single one of them, because I believed that if I were to press ‘play’, I would only hear Uruha nagging at me or Ruki and Kai teasing me. I knew that I would have to deal with that soon enough, but ‘soon enough’ wasn’t going to be just then. I unplugged the phone altogether and then practically leapt into my bed, quite happy to be there. The sheets were soft against my skin – not as soft as Miyavi’s skin, though, or his hair.

Damn. I was thinking about him when I shouldn’t have been. Then again, that had become fairly normal too. I thought about him plenty of times when he should have been the last thing on my mind. It annoyed me; I didn’t like it, and yet it was like I couldn’t help myself. I hated doing that. I hated thinking about him so much, and I hated wanting him so much. I hated myself for being so pathetic – for being so weak. I almost hated him, too. Almost. I wanted to hate him, because hating him would have been easier than craving his touch all the fucking time. Or maybe part of me really did hate him, and I still wanted him nonetheless.

I eventually fell asleep, though not without one more thought crossing my mind before sleep claimed me: If those messages had been left during the time Miyavi and I had been in the living room, how in the hell had I not heard the phone ring – not even once - during that time?

I didn’t even attempt to answer that question, because I was asleep before I could even bother with it.

~*~

I finally managed to drag my lazy ass out of bed at around three or so in the afternoon, though I would have been quite happy to stay in bed for the rest of the day, if only to avoid having to speak to the majority of my bandmates (the majority being Uruha, Ruki, and Kai).

Of course, I didn’t necessarily have to speak to them that day, but if I didn’t speak to them before band practice on Monday (which was the following afternoon), I would have a whole lot of shit to deal with at practice that I particularly didn’t want to deal with. Of course, Kai might have actually been a responsible enough Leader-sama to avoid pelting me with questions until after practice was over, but I didn’t really want to try my chances. So, it was either deal with my friends’ snickering and grumbling and scolding that afternoon over the phone, or deal with it in person at band practice the following day.

There was also no guarantee that they wouldn’t continue to bug me half to death at band practice, either, but I was willing to bet that if I talked to them over the phone beforehand, they would get most of it out of their system. Well, except for maybe Ruki. I figured that he would make jokes regardless, but at least he wouldn’t nag at me like I believed Uruha would. Ruki might have made jokes (which did annoy me, at times), but at least he never tried to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. He stuck to that whole ‘it’s not my business’ code of his, for the most part, unless he believed that there was a real reason to be worried or alarmed, or something like that. Apparently, he believed that I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

I would still have to brace myself for his jokes, though. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to escape them.

I climbed out of bed and headed to the living room – after a quick trip to the bathroom – with dragging feet and slumped shoulders. I think I must have looked quite similar to a man going to his execution, or perhaps my countenance resembled that of a man about to get a vasectomy. In any case, I did not look happy in the least, nor did I feel happy in the least.

I found my phone exactly where I’d left it (not that I expected it to grow legs and walk away or anything like that, though I wouldn’t have protested if it would have done just that), and reached for it ever so slowly, like it was a poisonous snake instead of a device meant to make communication easier. I flipped it open, and after pondering just who I should call first, I finally decided on Uruha. I came to that decision by telling myself that my conversation with Uruha concerning Miyavi would probably be the most unpleasant conversation to be had, and I believed that it would be best to get that one out of the way first.

I most definitely didn’t want to talk to him, though. I would have given anything to be able to just press a little button and erase his memory of what had happened at the club the night before. Then again, when it came right down to it, I suppose that I had only myself – and Miyavi – to blame for the whole thing.

After taking a deep breath and attempting to brace myself for an onslaught of nagging, I found Uruha’s number in my contacts list and pressed the ‘send’ button. His cell rang and rang and rang some more, and for an instant, I actually believed that he wasn’t going to answer his phone and that his voicemail would come on. However, after what felt like the thousandth ring, he answered. My stomach tied itself into uncomfortable knots as soon as I heard his voice.

“What the hell did you do to your home phone?” he asked, his voice seething with accusation.

“I unplugged it,” I answered honestly. “Didn’t want to deal with what I’m about to have to deal with now. I figured I could avoid the nagging and the joking for a little while longer.” I didn’t mean to sound as defensive as I knew I sounded, but I couldn’t seem to help it.

“You lied, Reita.” Uruha sounded upset and hurt. I had never meant to make him feel that way, either. He had a point, too. I had lied to him. “It may not mean a damn thing to you, but you lied to us - your friends! Your family!”

What could I say? “I’m sorry, Uru,” I told him. I meant it, too. I wasn’t sorry for sleeping with Miyavi, by any means, but I was sorry for upsetting Uruha like I had. “At that time, I didn’t believe I was lying to you. When I told you I wouldn’t sleep with Miyavi anymore, I didn’t think that I would. But… it just… it happened, okay? And it just kept on happening over and over again and--”

“And you didn’t think to disclose that information to your friends until last night when you performed that little show of yours in front of us and then took Miyavi-kun back to your place or wherever you took him?” Uruha interrupted.

I was certain that Uruha was making a bigger deal out of this whole thing that was necessary. After all, I couldn’t picture Ruki, Kai, or Aoi feeling the least bit betrayed about what I had done. Ruki and Kai, I imagined, were still laughing their asses off, and the fact that I was sleeping with Miyavi was probably the last thought on Aoi’s mind.

“Uru… why are you making this so difficult? I really am sorry for upsetting you. I’m sorry for that, but that’s all I’m sorry for. I’m sure that the others aren’t making as big of a deal out of this as you are, though.” I not only sounded defensive then, but I sounded somewhat cold as well.

“We all worry about you, you idiot! We’re your bandmates and your friends! It’s what we do!” Uruha was beginning to sound a bit miffed… angry, even. “It’s not just about the fact that you were sneaking around with Miyavi! It’s like I told you before. I don’t want to see one – or both – of you get hurt.”

I sighed softly and somehow managed to refrain from smacking my forehead with the palm of my hand. “Yes, you’ve said that already, Uru. And I told you that neither of us would get hurt. We’re having sex and that’s it. We’re not in a relationship. I didn’t tell you because I thought that Ruki and Kai would laugh their asses off – they’ve probably been laughing since last night – and I figured you would nag me until hell freezes over. The only one I would have told – and I didn’t tell – would have been Aoi, because he would respect that my business is my business, even moreso than Ruki because Aoi wouldn’t have made jokes about it.”

“We all have different ways of handling information, Reita. Just because Aoi-kun doesn’t say anything doesn’t mean he’s not worried about you. Just because Ruki-kun and Kai-kun make silly jokes doesn’t mean that they don’t worry, either. I don’t mean to nag you, but sometimes, I think you need someone to do that for you.” There was a pause then, and I heard Uruha click his tongue a few times, which was something he often did when he couldn’t think of what to say. “… I know that the two of you might just be fooling around and there might not be anything between you except for sex. Do you think that it’s always going to be that way, though, if you keep on going the way you are? There’s always the possibility that he could develop feelings beyond friendship for you, or that you could--”

“That’s not going to happen,” I interrupted. “I hardly even like him as a friend, Uru, much less as anything more than that.” A small, inner voice then informed me that what Uruha had said might not be as impossible as I believed it to be, but I immediately forced that little voice to shut up. “He’s good for a laugh sometimes, he’s really easy on the eyes, and he’s a good fuck. But that’s it. It’s like… when I’m around him, I can’t keep myself from touching him. Physical attraction, Uru. That’s all it is. And the weird thing is that I almost hate myself for what I do with him.”

“Don’t hate yourself,” Uruha said, sounding considerably less upset. “Just… Look. It’s your business, and I know it is. I don’t mean to annoy you about it, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to sneak around behind our backs about it or lie to us about it, either. I won’t nag you until hell freezes over or ask you personal questions about what you do with Miyavi-kun from this point on. Just… no more lies, okay? And promise me that you’ll be careful.”

Careful? “I’m always careful, Uruha.” Maybe I was lying then, too. Then again, I didn’t really know what in the hell I was supposed to be careful of.

Uruha seemed satisfied, at least. “Well, good. And hey… band practice tomorrow. You know that our next album is set to be released at the end of next month, and we’ve still got work to do. So… just make sure you don’t forget about practice, in case you’ve got… company~.” He was teasing now, which was a good thing.

I rolled my eyes even though I knew he couldn’t see me doing so. “I won’t forget.”

Needless to say, our conversation ended on a much lighter note than on which it had began. For that, I was glad.

Next on my list was Ruki. He answered his cell on the third ring, and he had to have checked the caller ID before answering, because the first thing he said was: “I TRIED TO GET LEADER-SAMA TO SAVE YOU BUT HE WOULDN’T THROW HIMSELF AT YOU AND SHIELD YOU FROM MIYAVI-KUN LIKE A GOOD SELF-SACRIFICING LEADER SHOULD I’M SO SORRY THAT I FAILED YOU!!!” He then proceeded to dissolve into fits of laughter.

“That’s right, Ruki-kun,” I said rather dryly, “get it all out of your system now because I don’t want to hear any of that tomorrow at the studio.”

“Like I would ever act so unprofessionally in the workplace.” Ruki managed to say that quite seriously, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he snorted. “Seriously, Rei-kun, I thought Uru was gonna blow a gasket last night. You just up and left with Miyavi-kun like that and… yeah. It surprised the rest of us. Aoi-kun didn’t really say much. Our wimpy Leader-sama and I had a good time making jokes about it, though. At least, when he wasn’t trying to physically harm my person.”

“I already talked to Uruha, and things are okay. He’s promised not to nag at me anymore. He’s just upset that I was sneaking around like I was. Are you upset about that?” I didn’t think Ruki would be the type to get upset about what I had done, but I figured I should ask anyway.

“I wouldn’t say I’m upset, no. Just… Don’t feel like you have to sneak around because of us, okay? I know that I make a lot of jokes, but when it comes down to it, what you do outside of work is your business. I’m not going to tell you that I think you shouldn’t do something. I’m not going to ask a thousand questions about your love life, either. But if you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be here. I am capable of seriously talking to someone, believe it or not.” Ruki laughed softly then, and I smiled a little myself.

“I know you are,” I replied. “Thanks. And thanks for not thinking any less of me.”

“I’m just worried that you might wind up pregnant!” Ruki sighed dramatically. “I can’t possibly imagine what we would do if our pushy bottom bassist went into labor on stage!!!!”

He wasn’t serious by any means of course – Ruki wasn’t stupid after all, he just liked a good laugh – but I still felt that I had to correct him. “First off, Ruki-kun, it is physically impossible for me to become pregnant, as you know. Secondly, if men could get pregnant, it would be Miyavi going into labor on stage instead of me.”

There was a moment of complete silence, and in that moment, I felt pretty damn smug. So, Ruki had truly believed that I was the one on bottom? Well, I had definitely corrected him, hadn’t I?

Then, that moment of silence ended, because Ruki said: “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL MIYAVI-KUN TO GET BIRTH CONTROL PILLS AND A HOME PREGNANCY TEST!!!!”

I’m not quite sure what sort of look I had on my face when Ruki said that, but I am fairly certain that it was one of those looks that my mother would have told me not to make when I was little, because my face would ‘get stuck like that’. “… Uhm. Are you quite finished, Ruki-kun?”

He snickered. “Yeah, I’m done, I think. See you at the studio tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.” There wasn’t really anything else to say, so I decided that then would be a good time to end the call.

Ruki apparently wasn’t finished, because just before ending the call, I heard him say, “MAKE SURE YOU DON’T BRING MIYAVI-KUN AND DEFILE VARIOUS ROOMS IN THE STUDIO, OKAY?”

I called Kai next, and to my surprise, he didn’t answer the phone. So, I left him a voicemail which went a little something like this: “I’ve already talked to Uruha and Ruki. I would talk to you too, except you’re not answering your phone. I apologize for hiding things from you. Now, I’m going to give you one warning and one warning only: If you overdo it with your jokes tomorrow, I will hurt you. Insomuch that we’d have to find a new drummer and a new Leader-sama~~. See you tomorrow.”

In the end, I decided to call Aoi, too. I wasn’t quite sure why, but I figured I owed him a ‘thank you’ for not blowing a gasket or making jokes at my expense. He wasn’t answering his phone, either, so I left him a voicemail as well. “Hey, Aoi-kun… Listen. If I upset you in any way, I’m sorry. Uru was a bit upset with me today, but now that’s all been worked out. Uhm. Anyway. Thanks. I don’t know how to say it any better than that. And if I’ve worried you… I’m sorry for that too. I’ll see you at the studio tomorrow~.”

I felt much better after making those phone calls than I had before I’d made them. Definite improvement, of course, but I still felt bad, in a way. I didn’t regret having sex with Miyavi on a regular basis, nor did I dislike having sex with him on a regular basis. The fact remained, however, that I sometimes hated myself for doing what I did with him. Or rather, for being unable to stop myself from doing what I did with him. Having sex with him was my addiction, and it was just as bad – if not worse than drugs or any other addictive substance.

Perhaps Uruha had reason to worry.

I slammed a mental door on those thoughts, and then looked back towards the kitchen. I was hungry; I had skipped breakfast and lunch in order to sleep, after all. Not only that, but I had skipped dinner the night before as well, because I had refused to eat Kai’s curry. I wasn’t in the mood to cook (let us overlook the fact that I am not exactly a chef), and I decided that a bowl of instant noodles would do just fine. I was almost certain that I could have eaten a cardboard box at that moment and it would have tasted pretty good, if not a bit dry.

I started to place my cellphone on the coffee table, but then I received a call. I blinked at the ID, noticing that it was Miyavi, and had a brief war with myself over whether I should answer the phone or not. In the end, I did answer it – and just before it went to my voicemail, no doubt. My stomach rumbled in protest (and to remind me that I was hungry), and I tried to ignore it, telling myself to make the conversation as short as possible. “Hey.”

“Goodmorning~,” Miyavi said cheerfully, and I knew he was grinning stupidly without even having to see his face. I could hear that stupid grin in his voice.

“It’s… it’s not morning, Miyavi,” I replied, though that was fairly obvious and I was certain that he knew that.

“It’s morning for me, Reita-kun~. I just woke up a little while ago. Didn’t get any sleep last night, as you know. Crashed as soon as I got home. I’m assuming that you slept, too? You had to be tired after last night and this morning… Fuckin’ Energizer Bunny.” Miyavi sounded amused and also quite pleased.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, well… you must be one too. And yes, I did sleep. I just woke up a while ago myself, and called Uru and the others…”

There was a brief pause. “… Uhm. Is that a good thing? They know now, right? Are they mad…?”

“Uru-kun was a bit upset, but we talked that out. Ruki-kun is making jokes, as usual. He seems to think that you need a pregnancy test. I’m sure Kai-kun would have had something along those lines to say as well had he answered the phone. Aoi-kun… he wasn’t answering the phone either, but I know he’s cool.” My stomach rumbled again. “And I’m really hungry.”

Miyavi laughed softly. “Well, that’s good, I suppose. And I won’t keep you. I just… Well, I was wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow.”

“I’ll be at the studio ‘til seven,” I replied, one of my eyebrows raising in question. “Why?”

After you get back from the studio… You up for some company? I’ll come to your place, or you can come to mine. We can even meet somewhere else if you like. Figured you might be missing the great sex already.” Smug bastard.

I snorted. “Sounds like you’re the one missing the great sex.” As for his offer, I knew I probably should have declined, but it was like I was utterly incapable of doing so. “… Yeah, I’m up for the sex. My place. I’ll call you when I get home after practice. Now I’m gonna eat before I pass out in the middle of my living room floor.” I didn’t give him a chance to reply, because as soon as I finished saying that, I ended the call. Perhaps it wasn’t the most polite thing to do, but then again, whatever the hell I had going on with Miyavi wasn’t exactly based on whether we were polite to each other or not.

I half-expected him to call me back as soon as I pretty much hung up on him, but he didn’t. Not that it mattered, anyway. Getting something into my stomach was the main objective at that moment. Food was always good, and perhaps even more addictive than Miyavi.

Perhaps.

Didn’t need Miyavi to survive, anyway.

I just needed him for really, really great sex.

I would say that I didn’t even need him for that… But then, I might be lying.

Do you understand why I often hated myself now? A lot of times, I felt like I needed him just as much as I wanted him. That fact almost scared me sometimes; it confused me, and I hated feeling that way.

And the worst part? No matter how hard I tried to hate him, I just couldn’t do it. Pathetic, no?

~*~

Band practice on Monday was… interesting, to say the least. Uruha kept his word and didn’t nag me in the least, Aoi smiled at me and didn’t give me any grief or anything of the sort (not that I expected him to), and Ruki wasn’t making a crude joke during every break that we had (it surprised the hell out of me, I assure you).

Kai, on the other hand, was joking enough for both himself and Ruki. I blamed it mostly on the fact that we hadn’t spoken the day before, and he hadn’t gotten it out of his system. I took it all in good stride for the most part, but after a while, it got on my nerves and I told him in rather impolite terms to be quiet already. It went a little something like this:

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to take those drumsticks of yours and shove them up your ass!” I snarled at Kai, glowering at him.

That particular threat seemed to spark something within Ruki, and he said, “Rei-chan, I’m not so sure our Leader-sama would take as kindly to you shoving anything in him as Miyavi-kun would~.”

Uruha and Aoi snickered, Kai burst out laughing, and I turned my glare to Ruki. “What was that, Ruki-kun~?” I asked, my voice dripping with fake sweetness.

Ruki seemed to shrink a little, and then as if to redeem himself, he immediately turned his attention to Kai (wise decision, if you ask me). “Then again, Kai-kun might actually secretly desire to have something shoved up his ass~~~!”

Kai immediately stopped laughing, and instead glared daggers at Ruki. He waved his drumsticks in an almost menacing gesture, and said, “Keep saying things like that, and I might seriously shove these up your ass!”

Ruki didn’t seem the least bit worried about that. “Ooooh, Kai-kun,” he all but purred, “I love it when you talk dirty to me like that~. What else are you gonna do to me~?”

Uruha, Aoi, and I looked at each other amusedly (if not in a somewhat disturbed manner), and about fifteen or so death threats later (guess who made those!), we decided that it was about time we got back to work before Kai decided to actually hurl his drumset at Ruki or do something equally as dangerous.

We weren’t as productive at the studio that day as we probably could have been, but hey, at least we didn’t have a single dull moment.

~*~

I called Miyavi as soon as I arrived home just as I had told him I would. He was outside my door by eight, and by eight-fifteen, we were in the shower. I’m not quite sure how we wound up in the shower, either. I think it was Miyavi’s idea, and I guess I decided somewhere along the line that it was a good idea.

I will mention that as we were undressing, Miyavi decided to crack a joke about my nose. He gasped theatrically and said something along the lines of, ‘You really do have a nose!’, and I promptly told him that he should stop hanging around Kai so damn much before none-too-gently pushing him into the shower.

In any case, when we were in the shower, our purpose had very little to do with getting clean, which is usually the reason why one showers in the first place. Oh, no. Being in the shower together was just another excuse to be naked and writhing against each other. I took the liberty of teasing him quite mercilessly, and when he begged for me to fuck him right then and there, I refused. Instead, I kneeled in front of him and took him into my mouth – just the head at first, flicking my tongue over the slit and tasting his precum. I just barely heard him gasp over the sound of the water pounding on the tiles, but I took that gasp as encouragement and slid my mouth further down his cock, earning a moan that was nowhere near as quiet as the gasp had been.

I alternated between sucking and swirling my tongue around his flesh before I finally started bobbing my head a little – up and down, so slowly. I felt Miyavi thread his fingers into my wet hair, massaging my scalp. I thought for a brief moment that he might try to push me into taking more of him just then, but he didn’t. The last thing I wanted was to be pushed, and I was quite pleased to know that he understood that. I had never given head before I had started sleeping with Miyavi, and up to that point, I had only done it with Miyavi just a few times. I suppose I was still getting the ‘feel of it’, so to speak, but Miyavi most definitely let me know when I was doing something that he liked.

When I actually did relax my throat enough and took all of him, he moaned even louder than he had before and I could feel him tense a little. I knew that he was forcing himself to keep as still as possible, and while his hips stayed almost perfectly still, his fingers didn’t. His grip on my hair tightened so much that it was painful, but not so much as to truly distract me from what I was doing. As I began bobbing my head again, I slid my hand up the back of his leg and over the curve of his ass, two of my wet fingers finding his entrance and pushing inside.

As soon as I had I found what I believed to be the perfect rhythm between the movements of my head, my mouth, and my fingers, he was roughly tugging at my hair and forcing me to stop. I looked up at him confusedly, licking my lips. “Why did you stop me?”

He didn’t answer my question. Instead, he reached over and turned off the water, and then gazed down at me. The look in his eyes made my cock twitch, and the words that he said almost made my breath catch in my throat: “Bedroom, Reita. Now.”

We stumbled out of the shower and into my bedroom, dripping water everywhere in the process because we hadn’t bothered to dry off; not that it mattered, of course. Within mere seconds of practically tumbling onto the bed, he pushed me back against the mattress and straddled me, quickly lubing my cock before lowering himself onto me. I groaned and thrust my hips up a little as he did so, sliding further into his warm body.

He didn’t go slow. Instead, he rode me hard and fast, and it was all I could do to keep up with him. I placed one hand on his hip, helping to steady him. With the other hand, I stroked him, keeping pace with the movements of our hips. It didn’t take either of us long to reach orgasm; he came first, and I followed shortly after, honestly seeing stars as I did so.

I groaned when he slid off my body and moved to lie beside me. Only then did I realize that I was sweaty and somewhat sticky with Miyavi’s cum, and that I really did need a shower. I didn’t have the energy to even bother leaving the bed, though, which was why I had started keeping a box of tissues on the table beside my bed (hey, tissues were good enough for us the first night that we’d fucked, after all).

We cleaned ourselves up a little, and then Miyavi did something completely and totally unexpected: “I hate you,” he whispered as he curled against my side, resting his head on my shoulder. We had never done anything like that before – we had never cuddled; we had only fucked.

I tensed for the briefest of seconds, wondering what in the hell I should be doing, and then I wrapped an arm around him, holding him. It was most definitely different for us, but it didn’t feel bad. In fact, it felt rather nice, although I wasn’t about to admit that. Some part of me was very much uncomfortable with the whole thing, though.

I don’t know why I said it, but before I could even attempt to stop myself, the words had already left my mouth: “No you don’t.”

There was a momentary silence, and then Miyavi grinned at me. “You’re right,” he replied. “Sometimes, I wish that I could hate you. But really… I actually kinda like you.”

And the truth of the matter? I kinda liked him, too.


~TO BE CONTINUED~
 
 
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Miyavi - Dear my Friend
 
 
 
BG: Rukilrigelbbub on August 17th, 2006 12:14 am (UTC)
I remember reading the first chapter of this story but I somehow managed to miss all the updates inbetween o.O Not quite sure how I did that but...anyways...

This is so well written^^ I love how you've written the other band members as well as Miyavi and Reita. Ruki and Kai crack me up^^ I like the way you explore Reita's thoughts and his intial denial and his subsequent troubles and his slow realisation that he does in fact care for Miyavi...

I enjoyed reading this and am looking forward to the next part^^
be safe
-BG
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 02:15 am (UTC)
I always put links to the previous chapters in with the newer chapters. ^____^ So, you can always catch up, no matter what you miss. *Hug*

Thank you so much. I'm very glad that you like my characterizations; I was particularly nervous about Ruki and Kai, and also about Uruha because I think that some people might get the wrong idea about the characterization of Uruha. *LOL* And Aoi hasn't had much development yet, but don't worry, that is coming. :)

Reita is gradually having some sense pounded into his head. *LOL*

I hope to have the next part posted soon~! Thank you again!!!
kittensrambling on August 17th, 2006 12:50 am (UTC)
“I’m just worried that you might wind up pregnant!”

*content sigh* I kinda, no, most definitely like you.
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
*Blushes* I LIKE YOU TOO. ^_____^

You should like me, damnit. You're having my children. ^______~ *Cuddles*
elevator12 on August 17th, 2006 01:00 am (UTC)
“I hate you,” he whispered as he curled against my side

Now, I knew the fic was good before I read at last part, but that convinced me that it's REALLY good. I really like how suddenly we see that Miyavi's struggling too, whereas in the beginning, he seems to have all his shit worked out. <3 This is really amazing, and I look forward to more.
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
You're going to see more of Miyavi's struggling as the story progresses. ^__^ Of course, I'm more focused on Reita since this is his story, so to speak, but Miyavi's feelings and his own struggle definitely plays a huge part. Sometimes, I don't even consciously realize how I'm writing something. I just sit down, and the words happen without me having to think about it much sometimes (other times, I struggle). I think the end of this chapter was one of those times. And I am probably so not making any sense and I apologize if I'm not. *LOL*

I'm very glad that you like this, and six more chapters are on the way. ^_^ Thank you.
nangilima ♠shatterlights on August 17th, 2006 01:32 am (UTC)
"Ooooh, Kai-kun,” he all but purred, “I love it when you talk dirty to me like that~. What else are you gonna do to me~?"
bwahahaha, Ruki is hilarious XDD

i love this ^^
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC)
That is exactly how Ruki wants to be in this particular fic, for some reason. XD At first, I was like, "Well, I'll make him the calm and cool and collected type". He didn't want to be written that way. XDXDXD;;;

I'm glad you love this. ^_^ *Hugs* I'll try to keep you loving it. XD Thank you~.
★☆★ r e i  苺: reita_singingrei_schneider on August 17th, 2006 01:36 am (UTC)
Today I started reading this and damn how did I missed this awesome fic?!?!
I love the characterizations. I also like Reita's thoughts and struggle.
Can't wait to read more ^^
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 02:39 am (UTC)
*laughs and hugs you* Well, you're all caught up now, ne? ^_^

I'm very glad that you like this. Thank you very much~!!!
マァヤ-ちゃんkyten_zstutsuru on August 17th, 2006 02:20 am (UTC)
*giggles insanely* omg Ruki and Kai XDXD that part made me laugh my ass off, i probably would have fell out of the chair if i wasnt holding onto my leg and laughing into it XDXDXD omg

i love this, it's so sweet and emotional!! very pleasing!! *giggles insanely again* <<;;;
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC)
*puts pallet down in case you fall off the chair* XD

I'm so glad you like this, dear. ^_^ *Huggle* Thank you for reading~.
(no subject) - kyten_zstutsuru on August 17th, 2006 03:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
-U-╬-S-╬-A-╬-G-╬-I-faia_kuroi on August 17th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
This. Story. Is. Hot.
I would never have thought of the pairing of Miyavi and Reita O__O but...
Z.O.M.G.
-shiver-
Orgasmic =D
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
Heh~! I'm glad you like this! ^______^ Thank you!

I never would have thought of Miyavi and Reita before either, had a friend not suggested it. XD Now I'm very much addicted~!
Faye: myvfaye_faye234 on August 17th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
YAY I'm loving this fic
very hot and also very plotty
AWESOME writing
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 09:54 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you are! ^_^ Thank you so much~!
(Deleted comment)
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC)
*LOL* Ruki is awful sometimes, I know. XD It's not my fault, I swear~. ^_^

*bows humbly* I'm happy you like this. Thank you. ^_^
(Deleted comment)
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC)
XD It seems that you guys are really liking my Ruki, which makes me very happy!

Yeah... Reita seems to be finally giving in, ne? ^_^

Thank you! I'll try to update asap~!
drunkelnatt: aoi: blackdrunkelnatt on August 17th, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC)
I'm freaking out a little coz I had a conversation just like Ruki and Kai's (towards the end of the fic) before I left college this evening. o.O

Heh, Uruha's like a mother. But damn, ReitaxMiyavi's H.O.T.
Kagome_newworld on August 17th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
O______o Really? Wow! XD

Heh~. Yeah, that's kinda... Uruha's nature (at least, in this fic), I think. I'm glad you like this pairing, though. ^_^ Thank you for reading~!
Emzisweetcurry on August 17th, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC)
OMG! I totally like this fic!! I do I do!

Reita is so cute in some way! His bandmates are so funny!

I love!
Kagome_newworld on August 18th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
I'm very glad that you like this fic. ^_^

*LOL* Reita is cute~?

Thank you!!!
miyavigrl2000miyavigrl2000 on August 17th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
Fabulous writing like usual...

I'll be anxiously waiting for the next chapter ^.^
Kagome_newworld on August 18th, 2006 03:27 am (UTC)
*Blushes* Thank you very much!

I hope to have it uploaded soon~.
scarlet_lilium on August 17th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC)
“I hate you,” he whispered as he curled against my side, resting his head on my shoulder.

awww soooo cute! I like this fic so much! I'll be waiting for the next chapter! :)
Kagome_newworld on August 18th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
^________^ I'm glad that you like it, ne. I hope to have the next chapter uploaded soon! Thank you for reading and commenting~!
椿 - Evergreen of life: Honey so sweetclosetchild_ on August 18th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
“I’m just worried that you might wind up pregnant!” omg! XDXD <3

And the ending! Awwww~ I love this! And you! *pokes* MORE! 8D
Kagome_newworld on August 19th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
*laughs* Ruki is really insane in this fic. XD;;;

*blushes* I'm glad, ne~! *Snuggles you* <3<3<3 And yes, I hope to update soon~.
(no subject) - closetchild_ on August 19th, 2006 09:38 am (UTC) (Expand)