Log in

No account? Create an account
22 July 2006 @ 10:48 pm
Transition (Chapter Three: Transgression) - Miyavi/Reita  
Title: Transition
Author: Kagome
Chapters: 3/11
Theme: This chapter is based on theme #32 - Morning
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing: Miyavi (solo)/Reita (Gazette)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. You ought to know it by now. XD
Summary: When Reita thinks his life is just fine the way it is, Miyavi steps in and turns his entire world completely upside down.
Comments: Reita thinks that the insanity ends in the morning, when Miyavi walks out the door of Reita’s hotel room. Little does Reita know, the insanity has only just begun. XD I’m not sure why Ruki insisted on tormenting Kai so much, nor am I sure why Ruki and Kai are the ‘clowns’ – so to speak – in this fic (it continues in later chapters, I promise). I can say that I am quite happy with how I characterized them. Readers might not like them as much as I do, but… I tried. *LOL* Written, of course, for 50stories.

Chapter One: The Beginning
Chapter Two: Heat

Chapter Three: Transgression

For some of us, morning not only brings light. It brings reality as well, and that reality crashes down upon us as soon as we open our eyes, if not before then. What was considered to be a good idea the night before turns into a very bad idea when we wake up. Morning brings regret; morning makes us realize that we are quite capable of making mistakes, even though we believed ourselves to be infallible the night before.

I felt very much the same that morning I woke up with Miyavi beside me. Since I was on the side of the bed that faced the window, I was the poor unfortunate soul who first felt the warmth of the sun’s rays, hitting me directly in the face. Mind you, I enjoy warmth. In fact, spring is my favorite season. However, I am not particularly fond of waking up to the sun shining right on my face. I am not a morning person, and I enjoy staying in bed as late as I possibly can. That morning, I probably could have slept longer, but the sun ruined my efforts to do so.

I ignored it as long as I could, but as the minutes past (at least, I assumed minutes had to be passing, though it really felt more like hours), it grew worse. Finally, I rolled over, turning away from the nuisance and nuzzling against the pillow. I probably wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, but I wasn’t about to get out of bed yet. I wasn’t ready to be fully awake, and I wasn’t ready to deal with the headache that I was feeling after the amount of alcohol I’d ingested last night.

“You’re awake, aren’t you?” The question was soft – I knew that Miyavi had spoken softly – but it sounded loud, and had about the same effect as a marching band would have had. I immediately opened my eyes – the sun was not kind, let me tell you – and stared in horror at Miyavi, the memory of what had taken place the night before slamming into me with all the force of a train.

“M-Miyavi,” I managed to whisper as I sat up a little, probably sounding just as horrified as I felt. I was even more horrified to notice just how gorgeous Miyavi looked that morning. His hair didn’t appear to have a single tangle, his smile was absolutely delicious-looking (so delicious-looking, in fact, that I had to fight the urge to not kiss him), and the sunlight was hitting him at exactly the perfect angle so that his skin was decorated with splotches of light here and there and bits of shadow elsewhere. It shouldn’t have been legal to be able to look that good in the early hours of the morning. Then again, I don’t suppose I really should have been surprised.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Miyavi said, his grin widening. He rolled over onto his side then, propping his elbow on the mattress and resting his cheek on the palm of his hand as he seemed to consider me. “What’s wrong?”

Last night was wrong, I thought. I wanted to tell him as much, but in that moment, he reached out to brush his fingers against the skin just below my cheek (where the cloth wasn’t covering), and I completely forgot what it was that I should have been telling him.

“You were an animal last night.” His fingers moved to that spot just beneath my ear, and then further back to tangle in my hair. “I kinda figured that that side of you was lurking around in there somewhere.” He licked his lips, tongue lingering to toy with the piercing, and then he moved a little closer to me. “I’m glad I brought it out of you last night, Reita. You were good. I bet there’s more of that in you, too.”

I should have pulled away right then and there. I should have told him that last night was a complete and utter mistake, and that I would never do it again. I should have, but I didn’t. The way his fingers were lightly massaging my scalp and the way he was looking at me... He was making me forget everything else for the time being, including my goddamn headache. All that mattered was how close he was and how good he looked and how fucking impossible he was to resist.

So, when he pressed his lips against mine, I didn’t bother to push him away or resist the action in the least. That was probably a mistake as well, but as things were, I really wasn’t thinking clearly. In fact, I was probably completely incapable of thinking clearly if Miyavi was within fifty feet of my person; that’s how strong the attraction was.

Our lips met in brief touches – once, twice – and then I grew impatient and traced my tongue over his lips, seeking entrance. His lips parted without much coaxing, and I immediately delved into the heat of his mouth, already kissing him just as hungrily as I had the night before. Miyavi didn’t seem to have any objections to my actions, for he was returning the kiss with just as much fervor, his fingers moving from my hair to the back of my neck and resting there. I wanted to feel his skin as well, so I wormed one of my hands beneath the blanket, finding his side and running my fingers down it, stopping at his hip and gripping it lightly. He made a soft, almost startled-sounding noise into my mouth and I greedily swallowed that sound, daring to slide my fingers lower, over his thigh.

His response to this was to press even closer to me, and it was then that I could feel that he was half-hard already. It not only sent a shiver down my spine, but sent waves of heat down to my groin as well. It would be so easy to just forget about everything else for a little while – to forget about the fact that last night had been a mistake (and to overlook the fact that what we were doing at that particular moment was also a mistake), to forget that my head was throbbing like a bitch, and to forget that we were in a hotel room and my bandmates would probably be knocking on my door soon enough to ask me why in the hell I wasn’t up and about yet.

Then again, considering they themselves had drunk a fair amount of alcohol the night before, perhaps they all had horrible hangovers and wouldn’t be awake for a while. I myself was grateful that I had nothing more than a headache, because it would have been very unsexy of me to have to stop kissing Miyavi in order to run to the bathroom and puke.

I broke away from the kiss only when the need for air forced me to do so, and took several almost ragged-sounding breaths before leaning in further to kiss along his jawline.

“I think you’re insatiable, Reita-kun.” Miyavi sounded half amused and half something else that I couldn’t quite identify. Needy, perhaps. Maybe he was the insatiable one… Or maybe we both were.

“Me?” I asked, the word murmured against his skin. I pulled back to look at him, a small smile playing on my lips. “What about you?”

One of his hands disappeared under the blanket, and then I felt his fingers run lightly over the inside of my left thigh, moving dangerously close to my cock, and then stopping and making no effort to touch where I was aching to be touched. “I’d say that I’m a little insatiable myself,” he replied with a smile of his own.

I would say,” I began, pushing him back against the mattress somewhat roughly and pinning his arms above his head, grinding my hips against his until he whimpered, “that you’re an awful tease.”

“You weren’t complaining,” he purred, leaning up to brush his lips against my own. I caught his lipring between my teeth before he could pull away, and tugged at it before deepening the kiss. He responded eagerly, rocking up against me and increasing that delicious friction between our bodies.

When I broke away from his mouth, I was breathing somewhat heavily, surprised at how badly I wanted him and how much just having him beneath me was affecting me. “Of course I wasn’t complaining,” I replied, voice low. “But I had to take matters into my own hands, because you were moving a little too slow. I don’t want slow.”

“You want it like it was last night?” Miyavi asked, spreading his legs slightly. “You want it hard and fast and rough?” He leaned up again, pressing his lips to my neck this time. I felt his teeth then, and I gasped, my fingers tightening their hold on his wrists. He bit down hard, tearing a moan from my throat, and I jerked my hips, feeling his erection rub against mine once more as I did so. He sucked and licked at the wound until I was certain that my skin had to be an angry red color, which would quickly turn a purplish color. That might be something I would have to explain to my bandmates later, but I could always lie and tell them that I had brought some cute chick to my room the night before and she had turned out to like it a bit rough.

“Miyavi,” I groaned as he pulled away from the skin of my neck with a soft, wet sound, my nails digging into his skin as I gazed at him heatedly. “Miyavi…”

“Fuck me,” he said, licking his lips. “Fuck me, Reita…”

Like last night, I was perfectly willing to forget about everything else except for the feel of his body pressing against mine. I was willing to forget that my bandmates existed, that my career existed… all for a fuck. At that moment, nothing else mattered. I felt like… well, I can’t even possibly begin to describe how I felt, but I didn’t feel like myself - and yet, at the same time, I did, which makes absolutely no sense. It was almost like I was some other me.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” I whispered heatedly, one hand searching the immediate area around our bodies, seeking the lube that we had used last night. Where the hell was the damn tube?

My fingers had just closed around what they’d been searching for when a knock on the door tore my attention away from the task at hand, startling both Miyavi and me. And then: “Reita-kun!” Uruha’s voice. “We’re all ready for breakfast… and then we’re heading back home shortly after, so you need to get everything packed. We’ll wait for you~.”

I froze. As far as I knew, Uruha did not have x-ray vision and could not see through the door, but in that moment, I felt like that was exactly what he was doing, and I had the incredible urge to make a mad dash for the bathroom and pretend that I didn’t know who was in the bed with me. For several seconds – which seemed to stretch into hours - I didn’t move. I didn’t say anything. I don’t think I even breathed.

“Hey… Reita-kun, aren’t you awake? Did you drink too much? Are you sick? You probably need a nice, cold cup of juice for breakfast.” That was Uruha for you, always the considerate one. Never mind that he might have been suffering from drinking too much the night before, himself. He didn’t sound like he was suffering, though. Then again, one probably wouldn’t have figured that I was suffering from a headache considering that just mere moments ago, I had been more than ready to fuck the living daylights out of Miyavi.

I knew that Uruha was talking to me, but for some strange reason, I couldn’t manage words. I could only glare at the door in a sort of panic and hope that he would think that I was still sleeping or something like that. I tried to answer him – I really did - but my vocal chords seemed to be momentarily paralyzed.

“Answer him,” Miyavi hissed, “or he’ll never go away.”

“I-I’m fine,” I finally managed to stutter, my voice about an octave higher than it should have been. “Just got a bit of a headache. I’m not sick.” Great. Now Uruha would probably think something had to be up. Or perhaps I was just paranoid. One can never really tell at moments like the one I was currently experiencing.

“That’s good~. Hurry up and shower and get dressed or whatever you need to do, okay? I think Ruki-kun’s getting impatient. Kai-kun’s already whacked him over the head twice and told him that we can’t leave our bassist behind.” Uruha laughed before continuing. “We all know that you’re not really a morning person… So I apologize for having to be the one to come harass you.”

“It’s fine,” I replied, my voice still sounding too high. “I’ll be out in a bit!” Perhaps that last part was a little more rushed and harsh than I had intended it to be.

If it was, Uruha didn’t act like it. “Okay~. See you soon!”

Miyavi wriggled beneath me and I jerked a little, startled. When I believed that Uruha was no longer within hearing distance, I whispered, “You should go. I have to get ready. I shouldn’t be doing this…” It was like Uruha’s intrusion had forced some sense back into me. I wasn’t supposed to be making the same mistake I had made last night. It would only make things worse.

Miyavi blinked up at me, and I could see the confusion written clearly on his face. “You weren’t saying that before Uruha-kun interrupted.” He pressed himself more firmly against me, and I could feel that he was still hard – still ready and still wanting - to be fucked, just like I was ready – and yes, wanting – to fuck him moments ago.

At that moment, I felt that I couldn’t afford to let myself get trapped yet again. I couldn’t allow myself to get caught up in… in him like I had done the night before. I couldn’t do it again. Uruha and the others were waiting for me, and what if they found out? It wouldn’t be the end of the world, surely, but what would they think? Sure, Ruki had pretty much said the night before that what went on in our private lives was our own business, but… still. I didn’t particularly want to deal with any of my bandmates’ weird questions or their teasing all because of a stupid mistake that I had made when I wasn’t thinking clearly.

And no, I hadn’t been thinking clearly the night before. I had been drinking, and the alcohol impaired my ability to think. Yeah, the alcohol. That was it.

… Had it really been the alcohol, or was I just making excuses for myself? I had felt an attraction to Miyavi from the beginning, right? Perhaps I was just using the alcohol as my excuse. After all, once he’d touched me, nothing else had seemed to matter. I think I became far drunker on Miyavi that I had on the alcohol. Some part of me – maybe most of me – really, really didn’t like that.

I realized then that I had become completely lost in my thoughts, and Miyavi was still gazing up at me, that same question in his eyes. “I shouldn’t,” I began, shaking my head and moving off his body so fast that I was surprised I didn’t get myself tangled up in the blanket or stumble as soon as my feet touched the floor. I needed to put distance between us – I needed to get away from those intoxicating eyes and that perfect skin. I needed to think clearly (or as clearly as I could manage, considering the fact that I did have a headache – which seemed to come back in full force once Uruha had interrupted us – and Miyavi was still right there in the bed). “I can’t, Miyavi. We can’t. We shouldn’t have done what we did last night…”

Miyavi sat up slowly, frowning at me, the blanket slipping from his upper body and coming to rest around his hips instead. “You certainly didn’t seem to be in that mindset last night, Reita-kun. You tried to resist for a little while, but then you gave in. Where did that Reita disappear to, all of a sudden?”

“I… I was drunk last night, Miyavi,” I replied, now not looking at him but at somewhere past him. Probably the wall, but I really wasn’t focusing on it enough to truly realize that I happened to be staring at said wall.

He snorted softly. “Right. So that was your excuse last night. What’s your excuse this morning, now that you’re no longer drunk? You were quite willing to fuck me before Uruha-kun knocked on the door, and you haven’t been drinking this morning, unless you somehow managed to get out of bed and get a drink without waking me up… and I don’t think that’s the case.”

Excuse. Excuse. What was my excuse? I didn’t have one for my behavior that morning. Why had I gotten myself into that same situation, when I had been practically horrified when I first woke up to the sight of him in bed with me? I couldn’t answer him, because I didn’t have an excuse. Still not looking at him, I shrugged.

He slid out of bed and came to stand in front of me, and I did look at him then – his body, though, not his face. “Look at me, and tell me what the fuck your problem is.”

I didn’t want to, but I forced my eyes to meet his, anyway. There was no sense in being a coward. “It was wrong. I was only supposed to look at you, not touch you. I was never supposed to let it go this far. From here on… it could get complicated, and I don’t want it to be complicated. I want it simple, and I want it to be like it was before this happened. I want to keep on thinking you’re too immature for your own good most of the time. I want to pretend that this didn’t happen and that it’s fine for me to look at you and not touch you.” I sighed softly, shaking my head. “That’s the rule I had for myself – I can look at you, but I can’t touch you. I shouldn’t have broken it last night.”

“It was just sex, Reita,” Miyavi said, a little coldly. “I told you last night that I wasn’t asking for anything beyond that, and you’re making this more complicated than it is. Just sex. That was all there was to it. You can still think I’m immature, even though you don’t truly know me well enough to fucking judge that, but go ahead and see if I give a shit. Hate me, even, if you want to. But you and I both know that you’re attracted to me; that’s something that doesn’t just go away in the blink of an eye.”

He was right. I knew he was right, and yet, I didn’t want to agree with him. “Listen. Just go, okay? Go, and pretend that this never happened. I think that’s the best thing. And… you won’t catch me looking at you anymore. I’m going to take a shower.” With that, I spun on my heel and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it. I was shaking, and I didn’t understand why. Perhaps because some part of me knew that the bullshit I had just spouted was indeed bullshit. Miyavi wasn’t stupid (though I was inclined to believe that he truly was sometimes), and what he had said had been true: the attraction that I felt for him wasn’t just going to disappear. I had the dreadful feeling that it might actually worsen, because I had tasted him, and it only made me want more. I felt pathetic.

“Fine, Reita,” I heard Miyavi call. “Be ridiculous if you want to be. It’s your problem.”

I waited until I heard him leave before I pushed myself away from the door and turned on the shower. I removed the cloth covering my nose before stepping into the shower, directly beneath the spray of water. I hoped that the shower would help… I hoped that the water would somehow wash away my transgression, as well as the feel of him pressed against me.

I had no such luck. Wishing for the water to wash away such things was only succeeding in making me think about him more. Some part of me wished that Uruha hadn’t knocked on the door and interrupted us, and that we could have finished what we had started that morning. Thinking along those lines… Well, you can imagine that didn’t help at all. Instead of actually focusing on showering, I closed my eyes and thought about how good it had felt to be inside of him the night before – how tight he had been and how he had clenched around me each time I hit his prostate.

I got myself off in the shower, imagining that the hand around my cock wasn’t my own hand, but his. I whimpered his name when I came, slumping against the wall and just resting there for several moments afterward, regaining breath and balance.

I emerged from the bathroom and pulled on some clean clothes (along with a clean noseband), and then went back into the bathroom to comb my hair. It wasn’t cooperating that particular morning, so I just muttered, “To hell with it,” and started packing.

Just when I had finished packing, there was another knock on my door. “Reita! Hurry your slow ass up, would you?” Ruki this time. “Even Kai’s getting a bit impatient!”

“I’m done,” I called, taking one last look around the room to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. It was then that I just happened to notice a note on the nightstand. Curiously, I picked it up, blinking at the scribbled words: “Call me when you’re ready to stop being an ass. There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.” Below that was what I assumed to be Miyavi’s cell number. I shook my head and started to crumple the note up and toss it into the trash can, but in the last moment, I changed my mind and stuffed it into my pocket instead. I then grabbed my bags and rushed to join Ruki before he could have the opportunity to break down the door and forcibly drag me out of the hotel.


Breakfast was anything but quiet, even though I would have actually preferred at least semi-quiet that morning, because my headache persisted all the way through breakfast, despite the Tylenol that I had taken just before having breakfast. I wasn’t the only one apparently still being affected by the alcohol, because Aoi seemed to be a bit sick – he didn’t eat much at all, whereas the rest of us ate like pigs. Ruki and Kai didn’t seem to be suffering from anything, because they were talking and laughing just like usual.

It only became worse when Ruki asked me what the hell had happened to my neck (I was certain that he had noticed it when we were walking down the hallway of the hotel earlier, but he had just been waiting to blurt the question out in front of everyone else – including many people that I didn’t know). I mumbled something about meeting a girl after I’d gone outside for some fresh air the night before. I told them that she had turned out to be a bit of a biter. Ruki whistled and then proceeded to howl with laughter, Kai hid a laugh behind his hand (I don’t know why he was bothering to try to hide the fact he was laughing), Aoi just grinned.

Uruha, whom had been fairly quiet up to that point, spoke up. “Really?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. “You brought a girl back to your room last night?”

“Yes,” I answered, burying my face in my hands and hoping that this wouldn’t turn into a game of twenty questions, because I wasn’t sure that I was prepared to answer all the questions that they were capable of asking. I was lying, after all, and if the questions continued, at least one – if not all – of them would realize that something was up.

“Did you get her number?” Ruki asked, nudging me in the side. He was still laughing, though his laughter had quieted down somewhat. “I think Kai here would appreciate it. He needs a little rough love in his life.” Ruki dissolved into laughter again and Kai glared murderously at him – or, at least, as murderously as he possibly could glare, considering that he was rapidly turning the color of a very ripe tomato.

Breakfast continued on in that manner (Ruki laughing and teasing, Kai turning every color red imaginable, Aoi doing nothing more than watching and shaking his head every now and again, and Uruha being uncharacteristically quiet) until I figured that we should probably leave before Ruki managed to get us kicked out.

As for the trip back home, we had an entire tour bus reserved just for us, and as soon as we entered the bus, madness continued to ensue. Five minutes into the bus ride home, I was almost certain that our Leader-sama was going to choke our vocalist if both our guitarists didn’t get to them first. I stayed well out of the line of fire, so to speak, and curled up by myself in a corner, watching the rest of my bandmates and yet not really seeing them. My mind was still on Miyavi, and I couldn’t help but wonder why in the hell he would leave me his number after what I had said to him that morning. I thought I had made it clear that I wouldn’t be sleeping with him again.

Then again, why in the hell did I take his note, instead of leaving it behind? If I wasn’t going to call him, then why did I have his number in my pocket? Perhaps the person that needed convincing most of all in this mess was me, and not Miyavi.

My headache gradually faded, and within half an hour, I was perfectly fine. Poor Aoi didn’t seem to be faring much better, however, because he was mumbling something about never drinking that much again. His head was resting on one of Uruha’s legs, and Uruha would lightly run his fingers through Aoi’s hair every now and again. The strange thing was, though, that I would catch Uruha looking at me rather strangely from time to time. As soon as I met his gaze, though, he would look away. That in itself was particularly unsettling, and I made a note to myself to ask him about it later.

Eventually, Ruki stopped teasing Kai altogether, and we fell silent, for the most part. I wanted to say something encouraging and positive, like how great we were at the tour. However, I would have been saying something that we’d all said at least fifty times the night before, so I wouldn’t have been saying anything that they already didn’t know.

Even so, just the thought of how well we did still filled me with pride. For once, it seemed like I was in a band in which all of us had the same goal and the same wishes. To be a part of something like that… it’s indescribable.

At some point, I fell asleep. It wasn’t really something that I intended on doing, but considering there really wasn’t anything going on to keep me awake (in other words, my bandmates weren’t trying to kill each other any longer), I drifted off. I dreamed about – you guessed it – Miyavi, and the dream was so mercilessly vivid that when I jerked awake, I thought I might actually have to run to the bathroom. Each time I closed my eyes after that, I could see him, writhing beneath me, clutching at me and moaning my name. My mind most definitely was not being nice to me that day, and I didn’t like it. I couldn’t stop thinking about him; it was ridiculous.

I heaved a sigh and shifted a bit in my seat, now knowing that there was no way I would be able to go back to sleep, not after the dream I’d just had. I gave up on that and cleared my throat, attempting to get someone’s attention. Maybe blathering to someone about something completely unrelated to Miyavi would help me get my mind off of him.

“So, you invited a girl to your room last night, huh?”

I nearly jumped at the unexpected question, and turned to raise an eyebrow at Uruha. “Yeah…”

“We’ve been over that bit already Uruha, remember?” Ruki chuckled, offering me a grin. “I still think he should’ve gotten her number. He probably does have it; he just doesn’t want to share. Greedy bastard~.”

Uruha ignored Ruki. “What did she look like?”

I was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable. Why was Uruha interrogating me? Did he sense something wasn’t quite right with my story? I kept my eyes trained on his as I answered, and tried my best not to fidget. “She was kinda tall for a chick… Had a tattoo on her left shoulder and a nosering, and she was wearing tight leather and high heels. She was attractive, to say the least.”

“Sounds like your kind of woman~,” Kai said with a snicker. “Or maybe Ruki’s kind of woman.”

“I told you, Kai, you need to get with someone like that.” After having said that, Ruki ducked, for in the next instant, a blushing Kai was throwing an empty box of cookies at him.

“She might be able to teach you how to cook, at least.” I joined in on the teasing just for the hell of it and Kai turned to me, glaring.

“Did she find your nose for you?” Kai sneered, leaning further back in his seat. He seemed to be out of ammunition, so I wasn’t worried about getting pelted with boxes or anything of the sort.

“No, but she did find a completely different part of my anatomy. One much lower on my body,” I replied, and Kai fell silent, glaring back and forth between Ruki and me.

“She must have still been with you this morning. I’m sorry for interrupting.” It was as if Uruha hadn’t heard – or hadn’t been paying attention to – anything that had just happened. He seemed to have his own agenda, and it was making me feel more and more uneasy. Uruha had never acted this way towards me before; I didn’t like it, and I wanted to know just what the hell was going on.

“It’s fine, really,” I began, shaking my head slightly. “She--”

“You don’t have to keep lying to us, Reita,” Uruha interrupted, and then everyone fell silent, and turned to look at Uruha. Even Aoi sat up and looked confusedly at Uruha.

“What are you talking about, Uru?” Kai asked. “It’s fairly apparent that the noseless man had a visitor last night… I mean, it’s not like he’d be able to do that to himself.” Kai was, of course, referring to the mark on my neck, which I assumed was still quite noticeable.

Uruha didn’t seem to hear a single word that Kai was saying. The way he was looking at me made my stomach knot up and also made me slightly sick at the same time. It was like he knew who I’d really been with the night before. “… I was coming back to tell you that you didn’t have to get out of bed and meet us for breakfast if you didn’t feel up to it, and I saw Miyavi leaving your room. He didn’t see me… but I definitely saw him.”

Oh. So Uruha did know. What the fuck was I meant to be saying? I obviously couldn’t lie anymore… Couldn’t tell him that he’d made a mistake. I was trapped now, and there was nothing I could do to talk my way out of the mess I’d gotten myself in. Or, at least, there didn’t seem to be. The bus was completely silent now, and shocked eyes were turned to me, apparently demanding an explanation. I sighed and closed my eyes, giving the only answer I could think of: “It was a mistake and it won’t happen again.” To be honest, I felt like throttling Uruha in that moment, and telling him that next time he wanted to bring up something potentially embarrassing, to do it face-to-face instead of in front of the rest of our band.

Uruha merely raised an eyebrow at me, but the others were still staring at me in what appeared to be shock. Even Ruki was silent and staring at me open-mouthed, which I didn’t think was a good thing. Ruki usually said something about anything that anyone else said.

“I was drunk, okay?!” I continued. “I was drunk, and I made a mistake, and I told him that. I made it perfectly clear that we wouldn’t do that again.”

That deafening silence still remained. While I was trying to figure out what the hell to say next, Uruha finally spoke up (in fact, Uruha seemed to be the only one besides myself capable of speech at the moment). “What you do is your own business, Reita-kun. We all deserve some privacy.”

At that point, I very much wanted to say what I was thinking, which was: Then why in the hell did you just blurt out my business in front of our bandmates?! However, I remained silent.

“But, Reita-kun,” Uruha continued, “we’re not just a band. We’re friends. And none of us want to see either you or Miyavi get hurt, because he’s our friend too.”

All heads turned to Uruha then. I was rather lost at that point, because I couldn’t figure how Uruha’s mind was working. How had he figured that either of us would get hurt? Getting hurt only happens when there’s love – or at least like – on one or both sides. Miyavi and I didn’t have that. We had what I wasn’t even sure could be qualified as a friendship… and yeah, friendships usually require that two people care about each other – but not the kind of care Uruha seemed to be talking about.

Also, I almost felt like saying something along the lines of: ‘Well, you and Aoi don’t seem to be too worried that either of you might get hurt, what with you climbing all over him like you did last night,’ but I wisely didn’t say that (even though I actually really wanted to. Perhaps I just wanted to get back at him for blurting that I had slept with Miyavi). On top of that, I didn’t really have any definite comeback… I mean, I couldn’t have said, “WELL I SAW AOI LEAVE YOUR ROOM THIS MORNING!”

How mature, huh?

Instead of blurting anything along those lines out, I said, “You don’t have any reason to worry, Uruha-kun. It was a stupid mistake. There are no feelings beyond tentative friendship on either side, I can assure you. And like I’ve already said, it won’t happen again.”

There was a long silence, and then Uruha’s eyes softened and he spoke again. “I’m sorry I did that, Rei-kun. I just… I worry, you know? I mean, it’s one thing if it’s some chick that we don’t know and it was just a mutual fuck and nothing more… but this is a bit different.”

“Just because he’s a guy?” I asked.

Uruha shook his head. “No, that’s not it, and you know it. It’s too complicated for me to try to explain, and I’d probably lose you on my train of thought completely, but… Just be careful, okay?”

I didn’t know what he meant by he ‘might’ lose me, because he most definitely had lost me already. Why was he telling me to be careful? “Uru-kun, it’s going to be like nothing ever happened, okay? I don’t even mind if he still comes out with us for drinks and such. It’s not like we’re going to be all over each other because what we did was a mistake. It was all wrong.”

Finally, Uruha seemed satisfied. He smiled at me and nodded, and that was when I believed the interrogation and the scolding had ended.

At least, until Aoi said, “Our ladies’ man has become a man’s man now as well, it seems.” Of course, he said this teasingly and in good humor, but that didn’t keep me from shooting him a steely glare. He made a noise that sounded suspiciously like ‘eep!’ and then tried to hide behind Uruha, but Uruha wasn’t doing a very good job of helping him hide.

“Were you the pitcher or the catcher?” Ruki suddenly asked, laughing as soon as he managed to get the question out. “I bet you were top! Although, I can imagine you as a pushy bottom, too!”

If just looks could kill people, the look that I offered Ruki most definitely would have torn him in two. “Could we not talk about this?!”

“Sure… pushy… uke…!” Ruki had to talk between fits of laughter, and though I felt very much like stuffing him underneath his seat, I merely gave him the finger instead.

Kai still hadn’t said a word, though he was a bit red. Perhaps he was embarrassed enough for the both of us.

“Hey, Kai, now that you know it was Miyavi who paid Reita a visit… maybe you should give him a call, since you know his number, and ask him to do to you what he did to Reita~~~!” Of course, this was spoken by Ruki.

The bus erupted into chaos once more, and I was quite glad that my personal life was a topic that was no longer being discussed.

Was it really their business, anyway?


When I finally arrived back at my own home later that afternoon, I could have kissed my floor. I unpacked my shit and then plopped down on the couch, turning the television on. I flipped through channels, not finding anything of any interest, and finally settled for a doroma that I’d never seen before. It was boring, as was everything else on the television. What a pity, to get back home, and have absolutely nothing to do (or, at least, nothing interesting to do).

I nearly dozed off for the second time that day, but then I remembered that I still had Miyavi’s note in my pocket. Once I had removed it from my pocket, I looked at it for a few moments, wondering if I should throw it away, or if I should actually call him to tell him once again that we couldn’t have a repeat of the night before. But, if I called him, would he read too much into it?

I wound up grabbing my cell and dialing his number anyway, telling myself that I would just repeat what I had said to him that morning, and that was it. However, when he answered the phone, the first thing I blurted was, “Can we meet up, or something?” I could have shot myself after asking that question – mainly because I knew it was a bad idea, and also partly because I couldn’t figure out why in the hell I had just asked him that. So much for my firm resolve.

I didn’t need to see him to know that he was smirking. “You decided to quit being an ass, huh? You cracked sooner than I thought you would.” He sounded awfully pleased with himself.

“Something like that,” I replied, and I could have smacked myself for saying that, too. “So, you up for it?”

“I’m up for anything you’re up for, if you don’t mind coming to my apartment.” He seemed to be getting ahead of himself, but then again, it wasn’t like I was really complaining about it.

I told him that I didn’t mind, he gave me directions (even though I already knew the way to his apartment quite well, since we’d picked him up to go drinking with us several times before), and we hung up. I endured an annoying drive to his apartment (traffic was awful), telling myself all the way there that I was just going to make sure he understood that we couldn’t repeat the mistake of the previous night. However, while I told myself that over and over again, some part of me was informing the rest of me that I could have told him that over the phone.

Of course, that small part of me was perfectly right, but I didn’t particularly want to listen to it at that moment.

When Miyavi greeted me at the door, the first thing I noticed was that he was wearing nothing but a bathrobe, and it looked damn good on him, too. It had a nice little split up the side so that when he moved a certain way, he flashed a bit of thigh. Of course, I wasn’t supposed to be noticing things like that.

“We need to talk,” I managed to tell him after tearing my eyes away from that bit of skin that was currently showing thanks to the slit in his robe.

“Come in and sit down,” he said, opening the door further and stepping away from the doorway just enough so that I could enter his apartment – but only just enough, because I brushed against him on my way inside.

I made my way over to his couch and plopped down, trying to pay attention to something else in the room aside from Miyavi himself, but for all my efforts to do so, I failed. I was openly staring at him, and I was more than certain that he knew it. Then again, considering Miyavi was only wearing a bathrobe, he might have anticipated the staring. In fact, I was willing to bet that my staring had been his goal when he decided to wear said bathrobe.

“You want something to drink?” he asked, motioning towards the kitchen.

I shook my head quickly. “No, Miyavi. Drinking was the start of the problem.”

He tilted his head to the side, a small smile playing on his lips. I was trying to figure out just why in the hell he was smiling when he all but swaggered to the couch and sat down beside me – not close enough for us to be touching, but almost. “I thought the attraction was the start of the problem,” he practically purred as he leaned closer so that his lips were merely inches from my own.

I’m not sure who closed the distance between our lips – perhaps it was him, or perhaps it was me – but in the next instant, we were kissing. I knew it was wrong; I knew I had told my bandmates – not just my bandmates, but my friends - that I wouldn’t be doing anything like that with Miyavi ever again. And yet, there I was with my lips pressed against his and my tongue almost greedily exploring his mouth.

My fingers worked at the knot in his robe (which just happened to be tied quite loosely), and then I slid the robe off his shoulders. He shrugged out the rest of the way and let it slide to the floor. He then smiled knowingly at me pulled me against him, his fingers making quick work of the button and zipper of my pants.

We didn’t exactly talk that day, but we did fuck. I wasn’t sure if we were taking a step forward or a step backward (although considering my earlier determination to not let myself wind up in that situation with him again, the answer should have been clear).

Forward or backward… To be honest, at that moment, I really didn’t care.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Gazette - Discharge
♥: 2envy_dream on July 23rd, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
Kai and Ruki are love - no worries there.

Especially Ruki ^-^v

I adore you (and your writing) more and more everytime I read (or reread) something of yours ♥
Kagome_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 03:27 am (UTC)
<3<3<3 I'm glad you like their characterizations, my dear. ^_____^

*Blushes* Thank you so much. *Loves on*
nangilima ♠shatterlights on July 23rd, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
*is on the way to bed and notices your update*
YAAY i've been waiting for part 3 for a long time ^^
*will read it when i wake up some time...tomorrow* XD

oh and sorry for this useless comment XDD
Kagome_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 03:30 am (UTC)
XDXDXD That's quite alright, ne~. I hope you enjoy it when you do read it~.

And you don't have to apologize. Comments of any kind are always appreciated. ^_^
opiumdreams on July 23rd, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
*big grin* Argh you write with such a great rythm. I told you that I love the dialogue, characterizations and Reita's thought processes right? ^^;

Fucking great ending line too. XD

This was so worth the wait, looking forward to the next one. >:)
Kagome_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
*Relieved* I am so glad that my characterizations are liked. XD I was kinda worried about Ruki and Kai, but I couldn't stop them. They had their own agenda (and still do *LOL*). And yes, you did tell me. ^______^ And I still appreciate it so much.

Haha, I was uncertain how to end it when I was trying to work it out. But then, I figured maybe that would be fitting, and I'm so glad that you think it is. *Squee*

I'll try to have it up as soon as possible. And as always, thank you so much for your encouraging comments. ^___^ *Hug*
gothprincess666molokomolotov on July 23rd, 2006 04:15 am (UTC)
Your characterizations are great I love the way you write Reita's thoughts and just everything. even Kai and Ruki XDD ahh i can feel the love already.its a great story and will be waiting for the next chapter.
Kagome_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
^________^ Thank you so much~! I'm glad the readers are enjoying Ruki and Kai's characterizations... I was worried about them. *LOL* I'm even more worried about how I'm going to develop Aoi later on - he might seem really quiet right now, but he's going to be important later on... and yeah. XD;;; *doesn't want to give it away*

I'll have the next chapter posted soon, I hope. ^___^
kittensrambling on July 23rd, 2006 04:27 am (UTC)
Can I tell you that I just love Reita's train of thought? Because I do, I really do. *happy sigh, licks*
Kagome_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 04:57 pm (UTC)
*Giggles* I'm glad that you do, dear. ^________^ Thank you~. *licks back* XD
Kalamah: ancafe - dorksgalhea on July 23rd, 2006 06:14 am (UTC)
I loved this. -Dies.- Poor Myvs, I could really feel all the emotion in this. ♥
Kagome: Bedroom eyes - Chantrea_Johari_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
XD *Revives you* I'm glad that you like it~~!! And the emotion... heh... it hasn't even begun yet~. ^.^
(Deleted comment)
Kagome: New World - Milkyway_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 05:07 pm (UTC)
*Snuggles* I'm glad that you do, hon. ^______^

Haha~. Poor Reita... I abuse him so much (and Ruki abuses Kai so much *snort*). Miyavi is indeed evil, and just you wait~~~. ^___~

I shall try~.
(Deleted comment)
Kagome: Slut - Julia_Weasley_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 05:08 pm (UTC)
*Giggles* Yeah... I started to wonder if readers would dislike the whole Ruki and Kai bantering bit... it continues in later chapters as well. I'm just having too much fun writing them like that. *LOL* I'm so glad that readers are liking them too~.

I shall continue soonest, I hope~. Thank you for the encouraging comment~.
マァヤ-ちゃんkyten_zstutsuru on July 23rd, 2006 09:52 am (UTC)
oh my dear lord *giggles maddly* damn that's horny XDXXDDXD that's hawt so badly,like boiling XD shit, i cant wait to read more!!
Kagome: Bite Me - Summerdrummer_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 05:09 pm (UTC)
*blush* It... is? XDXD And I hope to have the next chapter up soon~. Thank you muchly~~~!
(no subject) - kyten_zstutsuru on July 23rd, 2006 08:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Jali: hide fuck youjali_susundeiru on July 23rd, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
*random* Why's Miyavi such a slut in so many fics?

Dear god, I could kill Ruki AND Uruha for the stuff they said! Honestly, how rude and inconsiderate. I'm starting to think Uru has a thing for Meever and is secretly jealous of Reita. ...But dammit, I like him and Aoi together, so Aoi should tighten his leash a bit! :D
Kagome: Bite Me - Summerdrummer_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 05:05 pm (UTC)
Actually, I'm trying to steer away from the slut thing. Yes, he did seduce Reita in a sense (but Reita didn't protest for very long)... and well, there's a lot that's yet to be revealed about Miyavi. So, while it may seem like Miyavi might be being slutty now... there's deeper stuff going on. XD And I have really tried in previous fics that I've written with Miyavi in them... well, I've tried to make him seem un-slutty in them if that makes sense. ^.^

Hahaha~! Yeah, I know. Ruki's the little joker in this fic... And no, Uruha doesn't have feelings for Miyavi. XD I just believed it was fitting to have him be the one to fuss over Reita a lot because they've been friends the longest. Uruha is friends with both Reita and Miyavi, and he thinks that the two of them in any sort of relationship would be a disaster. Since he's friends with both of them, he doesn't want any sort of 'disaster' to take place - he doesn't want either of them to get hurt.

And yes, I am a huge Aoi/Uruha shipper myself. *LOL* I don't have much of a collection of fics for them yet, but I do hope to make it grow at some point. ^_^
nangilima ♠shatterlights on July 23rd, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC)
Your fic is so well written, it sends shivers down my spine. I like how you give Reita so much thought. Although i occasionally think he thinks way too much XD
i was like "come on, less thought, more action, Reita!!" but uhm, thats just me being weird, so dont mind that~~~ XDD

I really love this fic and will be waiting (un)patiently for the next chapter!! ~~ ^^
Kagome_newworld on July 23rd, 2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I'm glad you like it, dear. ^_____^ And yeah... Reita does think quite a bit, but he's got his own reasons for doing so, and for this fic, he doesn't really want to be written any other way. XD At least, not right now. He loosens up after a while... but then he starts thinking too much again. *LOL*

I shall update soon, I hope. ^_^
☆Maddisujamie_kay180 on July 23rd, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC)
OH god i love this fic. XD *glomps*

Miyavi makes a HOT slut XD haha poor Reita :3 wOOt for Aoi and Uruha XDD

*cant wait for rest of it*
Kagome_newworld on July 24th, 2006 01:16 am (UTC)
*Glomps you back* I LOVE YOUR ICON OMFG!!! *Stares at it* Did you make it??? CAN I STEAL IT??? XDXDXD

... Are there more? Perhaps any... Reiyavi? *Hopeful look*

^______^ Thankyou, ne~. I hope to have the next chapter posted soon~.
(no subject) - jamie_kay180 on July 24th, 2006 01:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
drunkelnattdrunkelnatt on July 24th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
This is excellent. Reita is in such a denial. Lol. I love Ruki and Kai... *pets Kai* He's nice to tease, eh? <3

I love this. Shall be waiting [along with the others] for the next update.
Kagome_newworld on July 25th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
*huggle* I'm glad that you like it. ^_______^ And I'm really glad that people are liking how I wrote Kai and Ruki. Heh... I was terribly worried about that when I started characterizing them.

Thank you~!
椿 - Evergreen of life: Honey so sweetclosetchild_ on July 25th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
*nosebleeds* I need a cold shower XD
finally i have time to read this, and I lovelovelove it ^__^ <3

and btw, Last night I dreamed that reita married miyavi XD wtf, and I don't even read reyavi that much.. well, I only read your reyavi 8D~

looking forward to the next one~
Kagome_newworld on July 25th, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
*Giggles* I'm glad you lovelovelove it. ^_______^

(no subject) - closetchild_ on July 25th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _newworld on July 25th, 2006 09:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on July 26th, 2006 06:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - closetchild_ on July 26th, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kagome_angel on July 27th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - closetchild_ on July 27th, 2006 01:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
obey_the_fluff on August 4th, 2006 02:49 am (UTC)
Forward or backward… To be honest, at that moment, I really didn’t care.

......Bwhahahahaha!!! I love this fic!!!!! *hums hapily* Gotta find the next chapter!
Kagome_newworld on August 4th, 2006 03:05 am (UTC)
*Giggles* Everyone seems to love that last line of this chapter~.