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08 January 2006 @ 12:41 pm
Imperfect - Yukido (one-sided), Gakuhai  
Title: Imperfect
Author: Kagome
Pairing: Yuki/Hyde (one-sided), Gackt/Hyde
Fandom: JRock, L'Arc~en~Ciel, GacktJOB
Rating: PG, I suppose. ^^;
Theme: #1 – Look Over Here
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me, and they are probably very glad for that fact. XD
Summary: Gackt believes he knows the reason why Hyde isn’t with Yuki, and is with him instead.
Notes: This is a companion piece to Blue Eyes, and I suggest that you read that first before reading this, though I suppose that this one can stand pretty well on its own. Someone suggested when I posted Blue Eyes over at gacktxhyde that I should write a piece from Gackt’s POV. I’ve finally done that, ages after writing the other. -_-; *Shakes fist at Gackt* Are you happy now? I’ve written you into three fics in a row (although I’m not sure he’s happy with a drabble, me making him into a fumbling klutz, and me making him into a bastard 8D;)! Stop clawing at my brain already! And in case it's not obvious, this is a 30_kisses challenge. ^_^



Imperfect



It’s pretty ironic to know that the man you’re willing to give everything up for doesn’t even know that you exist. Look over here, your eyes are begging him, but he isn’t looking, Yuki. Do you know why he isn’t looking? Because he has eyes for me and only me. I’m pretty sure you’ve realized that by now, but some part of you is still hanging on, still hoping, isn’t it?

It’s useless, you know.

You know he loves blue, right? I figured that out shortly after meeting him. At first, I thought he was just staring into my eyes like that because he was attracted to me. And then, I realized his obsession with blue objects – glass objects, mostly – and it was then that I knew he looked at me like that because my eyes are blue.

I had been getting a little tired of wearing blue contacts, and I was planning on changing to a different color shortly after I met him. But as soon as I realized that he loves blue so much, I changed my mind. My blue eyes are one reason why he stays with me. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re the only reason, but when I begin to ponder why he stays with me, he looks at me and leans up to kiss me, and when his lips are pressed against mine, I know that he loves me.

My blue eyes captured him, held him, and he fell for me. This is why he stays with me now… it’s because of that emotion called love, right? That emotion that you have for him?

If you didn’t look so damn pitiful sitting over there watching us, I’d probably laugh. I find it funny that you love him, you’d be willing to give up everything all for him, and he feels that very same way about me, not you. You love him. He loves me. I do not return his love.

If you believe that I am just toying with him – just allowing him to be here until I get bored, you are right.

Don’t think I don’t see those dirty looks you’re giving me. I most definitely do. In fact, I’ll flash you a smile, just so you know that I can see you, even though Hyde cannot.

Perhaps the roses are overdoing it, but it’s worth it just to see the smile on his face, and the frown on yours. Yes, I’m still watching you, Yuki. It gives me an odd satisfaction to be able to have this effect on you – to make your heart wrench so painfully in your chest that you feel as though you might die from it, all because I’ve stolen something precious from you.

Every time I look at Hyde, it is as if he is spellbound; perhaps he is, in a way. It’s amazing what two little pieces of plastic can do for you, isn’t it? They have caught and held the attention of this gorgeous man beside me, after all.

As I bend down to kiss him, his eyes slide closed and he opens his mouth for me, allowing my tongue a wonderful opportunity for exploration. It is an offer I do not refuse. But as I kiss him, my eyes are open, and watching you. The look on your face is a mixture of disgust and heartbreak. Something about that look satisfies me even more than the lips so eagerly pressed against my own.

I suppose I am a bit of a sadist.

I know that you understand exactly how my mind works; I know that you know I do not love him and I’m not going to stick around him forever; I know that you know when I get bored, I’ll be gone. I also know that you want to tell him – to warn him in some way that I am going to break his heart. Trying to tell him would be pointless, however. He wouldn’t believe you, because he thinks far too highly of me.

I would say, ‘I think he should be more like you’, but that wouldn’t be any fun at all. If I really felt that way, he wouldn’t be by my side right now, and my efforts to keep his attention would be in vain.

I’ll keep his attention just a little while longer. But, I really think that he should be more careful with where he places his heart. He should not fall for someone based on his obsession with something as silly as the color blue. That is a lesson he will hopefully learn when I leave him. It won’t be long now.

I’m hiding from him. You know I am, but he doesn’t. He believes that this little mask I project for him is the real me. I have many masks; so many that I sometimes cannot figure out where the real me is hiding buried beneath all of those masks.

When I see him near you, I wonder why he hasn’t fallen for you. Your eyes might be the answer. Your eyes are brown – they are unclean. Whose eyes would you pay more attention to: the ones that are the color of dirt, or the ones that are the color of sapphires? Hyde’s choice is pretty clear.

In his eyes, you are imperfect, Yuki.

Pity for you. Pity for him. Hyde is really quite naïve sometimes. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

When I lean over and whisper into his ear, suggesting that we go back to my place, I notice that you are glaring at me even harder. Your eyes then drop down to watch my hand, which is slowly and teasingly sliding up Hyde’s leg.

Hyde agrees all-too-readily, taking my hand and sliding off his chair, tugging me along with him. As we exit, he inclines his head toward you only slightly – in a gesture of politeness, I assume. He cannot see the look in your eyes, but I can. Stop looking so pitiful, Yuki.

He’s great in bed, you know. I might be just a little sad when I let him go, just because I’ll be missing the sex.

Will you stick around after I’ve broken his heart? Will you help him put himself back together again? Will you watch him throw away every single blue object that he owns? I bet it will make you feel good to see him doing that – to see him throwing away everything that reminds him of me and the perfect – although fake - blue of my eyes.

Perhaps we’re just a little bit similar, in that aspect.

I wonder what his new favorite color will be, once I’ve made him hate blue.

Honestly, I still find it quite funny that these colored pieces of plastic are truly what drew him to me in the first place. Maybe you can learn from my example, and buy yourself some contacts as well. That might help you in your efforts to win his heart, once I’ve broken it.

Just avoid getting blue ones.



~End
 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: D'espairs Ray - Tainted World
 
 
 
Talianajinjja on January 9th, 2006 03:30 pm (UTC)
Wow you are mean XD;;;;;
Kagome_newworld on January 9th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
It's not me~! It's Gackt! *Points at him*

Okay, so maybe it is me. I made him such a jerk in this fic. *LOL* But he was clawing at my head!!
awaji_kagome on March 20th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
I really love you ff, especially the Yukkie/Hyde ones^^ Even though I have quite some work to be done I just couldn't stop reading. ^^ Is the 30Kiss challange over now or are there some fanfics to follow?

Cheers, Kagome
Kagome_newworld on March 20th, 2006 06:38 pm (UTC)
You're a Kagome too!!! XD *Squeals*

Well, the 30_kisses challege is still going on... I just haven't written anything for it in a while, because I haven't had any inspiration. ;_; Although, if you like Gazette and Miyavi, I've got some Reita/Miyavi fics lying about. ^______^

I dunno when I'll get back to writing Yukido... eventually, I hope. XD Thank you for your nice comment! ^_^