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23 November 2005 @ 04:11 pm
Clandestine - Hakuei/Tetsu  
Title: Clandestine
Author: Kagome
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Hakuei/Tetsu
Fandom: JRock
Disclaimer: The boys aren’t mine~.
Summary: Everyone has secrets, right? But some secrets… are they really worth the price of keeping as secrets?
Notes: This fic was written for Tali-chan’s (jinjja's) birthday. Took me long enough to write it, too. I apologize to her for taking so damn long, and hope that the smut makes up for it. XD;;; I hope she likes it, at least, if no-one else. This is HER OTP after all. ^______^ Enjoy, Tali~. Love you lots, hun. *Snuggles*


Secrets. Everyone has secrets that they’re not willing – or perhaps not able – to share with the world. Tetsu figured he was in the latter category, since he had a secret that he was pretty sure he would not be able to breathe word of to his closest friends, much less the rest of the world.

Not that Tetsu’s secret was some dark, twisted thing that was unspeakable. Or, perhaps it was, if looked at from just the right angle. Humans are just humans, after all, and often find something wrong with everything. They find sin even when intentions are nothing but pure.

That is why Tetsu decided that he should probably keep his mouth shut about what went on in his private life; he didn’t even tell Hyde, his best friend, because he simply didn’t want to see the look in Hyde’s eyes. What was it he was afraid of, really? Disapproval? Disappointment? Shame? Was he afraid of the strange looks that people would give him, if they knew?

He wasn’t afraid of any of those things, and yet, he was afraid of all of them at once. So perhaps it was a good thing that Tetsu always kept quiet about his trysts with Hakuei; he never spoke of how Hakuei’s fingers would tangle in his hair, or how his legs would turn to jelly when Hakuei kissed him, or how his body would respond almost instantly to the smallest of touches from him.

Then again, it was rather exciting, having to keep their relationship a secret. It had been going on for months now, and all this time, no-one had ever suspected a thing about it. It was a thrill – a bloodrush – and Tetsu found himself feeling oddly smug every time they finished their lovemaking, because no-one had found out, and no-one would find out, as long as Tetsu remembered to be extremely careful.

Okay, so perhaps having sex in the studio lounge in broad daylight with his bandmates practicing just a few doors down the hallway was not the safest thing ever, but it definitely did add that little something that always made him weak and breathless. And that was exactly how he liked it.

Sometimes he wondered if the reason why he kept his relationship with Hakuei a secret was really because of the things people would say to him or the way they would look at him, or because he simply loved how sneaking around made him feel. The threat of possibly getting caught only intensified that thrill, and because of that possibility, their lovemaking had almost always been rushed and somewhat rough, but also with a little tenderness as well. Tetsu liked it that way, and he had no intentions of it ever stopping.

So, maybe he was being a coward by not saying anything to anyone. Or, maybe he was just prolonging the ‘high’ that he received from keeping his dirty little secret just that – a secret.

Sometimes he wondered, though, if Hakuei would prefer it otherwise. He wondered if Hakuei would rather have their relationship be less secretive. He wondered if Hakuei would rather visit him during daylight hours and not have to worry about whether people would see them, or hear them. Stolen kisses and discreet touches and quick fucks in bathroom stalls were fine with Tetsu, and they often seemed quite fine with Hakuei too, since he always appeared to be so caught up in the moment. Their time was precious, after all.

However, Tetsu would sometimes catch Hakuei looking at him almost sadly. Every time Tetsu would ask what was wrong, however, Hakuei would reply with “It’s nothing. I’m just being stupid.”

Tetsu didn’t find any of Hakuei’s thoughts to be stupid at all, and he wondered why Hakuei was so reluctant to tell him what was wrong or what he was feeling. Of course, Hakuei could have been reluctant to state his feelings on the matter for the exact same reasons that Tetsu was afraid to let others know of their relationship: fear, maybe a little guilt, and a whole score of other emotions as well. Maybe Tetsu was afraid to let that thrill go. Maybe Hakuei was afraid to suggest that they make this something official – something that could be discussed somewhere other than bathroom stalls and studio loungerooms and hotel beds, in the safe darkness that was the night.

Tetsu was afraid of so many things, but he wasn’t scared of them, not really. He was sure he could live with his bandmates and the entire universe knowing of his and Hakuei’s relationship. He was certain that he could deal with the strange looks and the general uproar of what most likely would be disapproval. He was certain he could handle that, even though it would be an entirely different experience for him, and he wasn’t quite sure how he would take it all in, at first, if more than just Hakuei and himself knew of their relationship.

There was one thing that really scared him, though, and that was that very look in Hakuei’s eyes – the look that he would get when Tetsu would pull away from him. The look that he would get when he’d start to say something and then he would shut up almost as quickly as he had opened his mouth. That distant, sad, somewhat regretful look. Sometimes, Tetsu wondered if Hakuei regretted their relationship as it was, but he was too afraid to venture to ask about it.

He was positive that Hakuei deserved more than just this. He was almost positive that Hakuei wanted more than just this. And it scared him more than anything else to think that Hakuei would one day walk away from him because of the way that he was handling their relationship. Secret, secret, secret. Tetsu also wondered if Hakuei believed that that was all he was to Tetsu: his dirty little secret.

Which wasn’t true. Of course their relationship was a secret, but it was so much more than just that to Tetsu. Some parts of him really liked the secrecy, because it made their sex even hotter, in Tetsu’s mind. But also, parts of him wanted more than that, too. More than the secrecy, more than the short time that they had together, when they were together. But thinking along those lines always made him remember everything else, such as his reluctance, and from then on his thoughts would just go in circles and the constant circles always gave him a headache.

His thoughts were going in circles now as he sat in one of the chairs that occupied the fairly empty lobby of a lavish hotel - of which he had managed to completely forget the name of. He never really paid attention to the names of the hotels that were booked for them when he and the rest of L’Arc went on tour. The only thing that truly mattered to him as of late concerning hotels was that it was an excuse to see Hakuei, provided that Hakuei was able to make the trip to said hotel. It was a perfect opportunity to meet with him and spend some time with him, because his bandmates pretty much left him well enough alone when they crashed in their own respective rooms after a tour. At least, they left him well enough alone if he was back in his own room before they woke up and decided to knock on his door and drag him down to breakfast with them.

He sighed and looked down at his watch for the thousandth time. Speaking of Hakuei, he was late. They had planned to meet each other at this very spot at least fifteen minutes ago, but Hakuei had not showed, and Tetsu was beginning to worry. Heaving a small sigh and mentally cursing himself for not bringing his cellphone downstairs with him in case Hakuei had called, he stood and stretched, having an argument with himself as to whether he should go back upstairs and get his cellphone, or continue to wait.

In the end, the cellphone won, and Tetsu headed back towards the elevator, only after peering warily around the corner and searching for any trace of any crazy fangirls that might have decided to stalk him, for all he knew. He nearly breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed that this particular hallway was completely empty. He did not desire to give anymore autographs tonight; his mind was on much more important things, after all.

He pressed the elevator button and waited in an anxious sort of silence for the elevator to come back down and for the doors to open. When the doors did open, however, he was met by quite a surprise: there was only one person occupying the elevator, and that person was none other than Hakuei himself. Tetsu felt his eyes grow wide, and he was certain that at any moment now his jaw would unhinge and fall right to the floor.

Hakuei seemed just as surprised as Tetsu himself for a moment, but then that surprise was carefully hidden away, replaced by a playful glint in those fathomless eyes of his. “Going up?” he nearly crooned, the mere sound of his voice enough to make Tetsu’s spine tingle.

Playing along with the game, Tetsu answered, “Yeah, I am, actually. You see, I was supposed to meet someone here tonight, but I think he bailed on me.”

“That’s a shame,” Hakuei replied, moving aside just a little and waving Tetsu into the elevator. “Maybe you can spend your time wisely with another instead?”

“Maybe.” Tetsu felt his lips curve into a smile as he stepped into the elevator, resting his back against one of the walls. Butterflies decided to start fluttering in his stomach as soon as the doors closed, and when Hakuei turned to look at him, Tetsu couldn’t quite uphold their little game, and he said: “I was getting worried about you. I was about to go get my phone to call you and see where you were.”

“I’m sorry,” Hakuei answered, stepping close to Tetsu and brushing his knuckles against the skin of Tetsu’s cheek. “I was getting an earful over my own phone from management. You know how that goes, though.”

“All too well.” Tetsu nodded understandingly, leaning into Hakuei’s touch. From the corner of his eye, he could see the numbers of the floors fairly rapidly increasing. “What floor are you on?”

“Sixteen,” Hakuei replied, looking somewhat puzzled. “Why do you ask?”

Smiling brightly, Tetsu wound his arms around Hakuei’s neck and rose on tiptoe, gazing expectantly into Hakuei’s eyes. “Kiss me then, before we reach your floor and the doors open. I’ve been waiting all day for this, you know. You have no idea.”

Hakuei smiled as well and slid his arms around Tetsu’s waist, leaning down. Sometimes, Tetsu cursed his height, or his definite lack thereof. Or maybe it was Hakuei’s height he was cursing. He wasn’t quite sure, but he often worried that Hakuei would injure his back one of these days, simply because he had to bend down so damn far to kiss him.

Their lips were nearly touching now, their breaths mingling. “Oh, but I do have an idea, Tet-chan.” And then Hakuei was kissing him, and Tetsu was kissing him back, and every single thing that did not concern Hakuei completely flew out of his mind. Hakuei’s lips were warm, just like they always were, and Tetsu felt strangely dizzy, which was always how he felt when they kissed. It never failed to amaze him how new it always felt to be kissing Hakuei, even though he had done so several times in the past; Hakuei’s kisses never failed to rob him of breath, of thought, of any inkling of time passage. Time seemed to stand still while with him, and nothing else mattered.

Tetsu felt Hakuei’s tongue, warm and wet, teasingly tracing his bottom lip, and Tetsu opened his mouth to that questing tongue all too willingly, nearly whimpering when Hakuei’s tongue brushed against his own. His arms tightened their hold somewhat, and he felt Hakuei’s arms tighten around him as well.

Hakuei’s tongue lapped at the roof of his mouth, and Tetsu felt his knees growing somewhat weak. It never failed – Hakuei always had this sort of effect on him. Always. Hakuei’s hands then slid up the back of his shirt, his fingers dancing lightly over his skin, and this time, Tetsu did whimper.

Lovely little images of having sex in the elevator were busily dancing through Tetsu’s mind, and he figured that maybe fucking in the elevator wouldn’t be a bad thing at all, especially when Hakuei pressed closer to him, and Tetsu could feel him, already half-hard. Perhaps Tetsu wasn’t the only one here having naughty ideas.

Just when Tetsu was about to pull back and voice his sexy ideas, there was a ‘ding’-ing sound, and the doors slid open. Damn the elevator for having such bad timing and stopping on the stupid floor that it was supposed to stop on! Why couldn’t it have just gotten stuck? Now, there was an idea. Maybe Tetsu could hire someone to sabotage the elevator (in a very safe way) the next time he and Hakuei were in there. Now there was a thought.

He pulled back, but kept his arms securely around Hakuei’s neck . “I don’t think I like this elevator anymore. It interrupted us.”

Hakuei chuckled, and Tetsu jumped a little when Hakuei’s hands dropped lower and fondled his ass. “Well, we can continue in my room, you know. That’s where we were supposed to be heading, anyway.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tetsu replied, thinking of some way that he could get Hakuei back for that nice little surprise as his lover stepped away from him and out of the elevator, heading down the hallway. He glanced down both ends of the hallway (force of habit), and finding no-one, he stepped out of the elevator as well, hurrying to catch up with his lover.

He fell into step beside Hakuei, reaching one hand out to brush his fingers against Hakuei’s hand – the one with the butterfly. Sometimes, when they were together, Tetsu would gaze at that butterfly for minutes at a time, and wonder if it would fly away. Of course, that was impossible and he knew it, because it was just a tattoo anyway, and tattoos didn’t just fly off peoples’ skin.

When Tetsu would contemplate things like that, he would always get somewhat down. Not about the tattoo, but about how his mind would wander when he looked at it. Hakuei also had two birds tattooed on his neck – birds that appeared to be in flight. These birds, coupled with the butterfly, would make Tetsu’s mind think up crazy things, such as his comparison between them and Hakuei.

Sometimes, he wondered if Hakuei would try to fly away, too.

Honestly, Tetsu couldn’t blame him, if he ever wanted to. After all, he could be giving Hakuei so much more, but he wasn’t doing that, all for the sake of keeping their relationship a secret. Was the thrill of having to hide it really worth hurting Hakuei?

Once again, Tetsu’s thoughts were chasing themselves in circles, when he should have been focused on the way Hakuei’s fingers slid against his palm, the way he entwined their fingers and squeezed gently, the way he smiled when he dug through his pocket with his free hand for the key to his room. The light blinked then, and Hakuei opened the door and stepped inside his room, tugging Tetsu inside with him. He shut the door and turned back to Tetsu, a gleam that Tetsu knew far too well shining in those eyes. It made Tetsu’s mouth go dry.

“So,” Hakuei began, stepping forward, and causing Tetsu to unconsciously take a step backwards to put a little space between them, although he wasn’t quite sure why he was doing so.

“What was it that you had in mind for us to do tonight?” Hakuei finished, continuing to advance on Tetsu, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips. Tetsu couldn’t help but watch the path that that pink tongue took, but then he realized that he was staring and looked away, knowing that he had to be turning pink. He felt rather warm, all of a sudden.

He heard Hakuei chuckle, and then those calloused fingers were underneath his chin, tilting his head up, and those already-heated eyes were staring into his. “Just a few minutes ago, you were having thoughts about me fucking you in the elevator, weren’t you?”

At this, Tetsu felt his skin grow even hotter, and he knew his blush deepened. Hakuei just grinned at him and shook his head. “But now you can’t even tell me what you want to do, when we’re all alone in my room like this.” He shook his head as if the matter was not one of importance, and said, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to tell you what I want to do for tonight, hm?”

Tetsu swallowed twice, and nodded mutely. Oh, did he ever want to hear what Hakuei had in mind for him.

“Then again, I think I should just show you. Wouldn’t want to waste time, you know.” Hakuei seemed to grow a little more serious then, and said softly, “Time’s too precious to waste.”

Before Tetsu could formulate a proper reply, he found Hakuei’s lips pressed against his own. Hakuei was kissing him quite hungrily already, his tongue flicking out to touch Tetsu’s lips, and Tetsu parted his lips willingly, allowing that questing tongue access to the warm, wet cavern that was his mouth.

Hakuei always tasted sweeter than anyone else Tetsu had ever kissed before, and Tetsu could never get enough of those lips, that tongue. His arms raised of their own accord, wrapping around Hakuei, his hands fisting the back of his shirt as Hakuei continued to ravage his mouth. Distantly, he realized that they were moving – Hakuei was slowly walking him backwards, but that was the last thing on his mind at the moment. Soft noises worked their way out of Tetsu’s throat, only to be swallowed by Hakuei.

When Hakuei broke the kiss and Tetsu opened his eyes, he was rather surprised to find that Hakuei had walked them all the way to the far wall. They were both breathing hard already, and Tetsu swore that he had to be melting. He had to be becoming a little puddle of goo, although he wasn’t quite sure that Hakuei would appreciate having goo in his hotel room.

“Tetsu.” Tetsu’s name rolled off of Hakuei’s tongue, and just the tone of his voice made Tetsu’s pulse quicken. “Turn around,” Hakuei ordered, his voice low and husky.

Tetsu blinked, not quite sure if he had heard Hakuei correctly. Had he just told him to turn around? No, no. That couldn’t have been it. He blinked again, blaming his sudden inability to hear words correctly on the fact that he was completely and utterly dazed by Hakuei’s kiss.

Hakuei growled then, and that sent a shiver down Tetsu’s spine. “I said,” Hakuei began as he grabbed Tetsu’s hips and spun him around before Tetsu could even move a muscle, “Turn around!” Tetsu suddenly found himself being shoved roughly against the wall, and he raised his hands, pressing them against the wall in order to push away from it just a little, but Hakuei wasn’t about to let him do that.

“No, Tet,” Hakuei warned, his breath hot against Tetsu’s neck. “You’re not moving unless I tell you to.”

So, Hakuei was playing this game and being forceful, was he? Well, that was just fine with Tetsu. Hakuei indeed knew his kinks quite well, and had learned that Tetsu was rather fond of a little bit of rough sex. What Hakuei was doing right now made him breathless, and made his jeans feel pretty damn tight as well.

“Now, Tet,” Hakuei murmured, his lips pressing gentle kisses to Tetsu’s neck until he reached the junction between neck and shoulder, and then he bit down, hard. Tetsu gasped, his hands balling into fists against the wall. When Hakuei’s teeth relinquished that bit of flesh, Tetsu felt his lover’s tongue, caressing over the wound. “Undo your pants for me,” Hakuei said, one of his hands sliding around Tetsu’s body and slipping under Tetsu’s shirt, his fingers dancing along the taught muscles of Tetsu’s stomach.

Whimpering, Tetsu lowered his hands to his pants and unbuttoned and unzipped them rather quickly. He started to push them down, but then Hakuei’s hands were gripping both of his forearms, impeding his progress. “Did I tell you to pull them off yet, Tet? I don’t think I did.” He ground himself firmly against Tetsu’s ass, as though he were reprimanding him, and a low moan tore itself from Tetsu’s throat. Hakuei was going to torture him to death!

“I’ll make up for it very soon,” Hakuei promised, slipping his hand into Tetsu’s pants and boxers, his fingers finding Tetsu’s cock and curling around it. “Mmm, you’re so hard, Tet-chan,” Hakuei cooed, rubbing his thumb over Tetsu’s head and smearing the precum. His thumb then pressed into the slit, causing even more precum to ooze out, and Tetsu bit down on his lip to hold back another moan, although he couldn’t repress the shudder that ran through his body.

“I’m hard too, as you already know.” Hakuei ground against him again, his hand stroking along Tetsu’s entire length. “So hard for you, Tet. And you’re going to feel every inch of me in just a moment.”

Tetsu wanted to beg him to hurry, but he knew this was all part of Hakuei’s game. Hakuei liked to tease, and Tetsu did appreciate the teasing, although oftentimes he found himself somewhat impatient and eager to get to the main course, so to speak.

Swallowing hard, Tetsu pressed back against Hakuei’s hardness, nearly smiling in satisfaction when Hakuei moaned against his clothed shoulder. Hakuei’s fingers squeezed him rather firmly then and he cried out, arching forward into that touch, his breath now coming in short little pants. “Nnnggg… Haku-chan…”

Hakuei’s lips pressed against his ear, and then his tongue traced along the rim before dipping inside the shell, making Tetsu squirm even more. Hakuei was stroking him faster now, and Tetsu was throbbing, knowing that if this continued for much longer, he’d ruin his boxers and his pants too.

As if reading his mind, Hakuei suddenly withdrew his hand. Tetsu didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Maybe he would just settle for being a bit of both. “H-Haku--”

Now you can pull them off. And your boxers, too,” Hakuei instructed, his hands now resting on the wall, on either side of Tetsu’s body as Tetsu did as he was told. Once again, he found himself staring at that damn butterfly. He kicked off his shoes first, and pushed his pants and boxers down as far as they would go, kicking them off the rest of the way. They pooled to the floor, and Tetsu didn’t pay them any attention after that.

“Good,” Hakuei said, his voice breathy. Hakuei’s hands were on his body again, the fingers of one of them sliding along the curve of Tetsu’s ass, whilst the thumb and forefinger of the other hand busied themselves with twisting and tweaking Tetsu’s nipples.

When Tetsu was reduced to moaning incomprehensibly and trembling all over, Hakuei withdrew his hands, much to Tetsu’s disappointment. But the next noise that Tetsu heard made him forget all about being disappointed, because what he heard was Hakuei unzipping his pants. His breath caught in his throat, and then there was a pause.

Hakuei’s soft moans reached his ears, and Tetsu knew all-too-well then what Hakuei was doing without even having to look. The sound of flesh against slick flesh only served to prove that he was correct in his supposition, and he turned his head slightly, watching almost hungrily as Hakuei’s hand, slick with lube, moved along his length.

“Turn your head back around,” Hakuei said between clenched teeth, and Tetsu did as he was told, anticipation welling within him. When he felt Hakuei’s head nudging at his entrance, he gasped, and that was the only thing he had time to do before Hakuei grabbed his hips and thrust forward, burying himself fully inside of Tetsu with just that one thrust.

“Ah, fuck, Haku!” Tetsu rarely swore, although profane language seemed to be rather prominent whenever he was with Hakuei.

“Do I feel good?” Hakuei asked, and Tetsu nodded rapidly, already pushing back against Hakuei, already wanting more, more, more. “You feel good too. You’re so hot and tight and ahhhnnn…” Hakuei’s sentence ended in a groan, and Tetsu was rather pleased to know that his lover was just as overwhelmed as he himself was.

“H-Haku,” Tetsu panted, slowly uncurling his fingers and pressing his palms against the wall, “give me more, please. I won’t last long, not like this.”

”Me either,” Hakuei replied, gripping Tetsu’s hips even tighter. “You feel too fucking good. You always do…” He was withdrawing then, pulling back until only the very tip of him was teasing at Tetsu’s entrance, and then he slammed back in again, making Tetsu cry out even louder.

“Ahh, fuck… just wait for it, Tet. I know what you like.” Hakuei began a rhythm then, completely bypassing slow in favor of something much faster, harder. Less gentle and more primal. And Tetsu loved every second of it, proving it by meeting each of Hakuei’s thrusts, and moaning loudly with each motion that Hakuei made. With each thrust, Hakuei buried himself fully inside of Tetsu and then withdrew, only to slam back in again. Each thrust was harder than the last, and each thrust drove Tetsu closer and closer to orgasm.

Just when Tetsu felt as if he was about to be pushed right over that edge, Hakuei stopped altogether, and Tetsu groaned in exasperation. “Don’t you dare stop,” he growled, and heard Hakuei laugh breathlessly in reply.

“Don’t worry, love, I’m nowhere near stopping,” Hakuei reassured him, one hand leaving Tetsu’s hip and sliding down between his thighs, finding his erection. His palm slid over the head and Tetsu swallowed a moan, bucking his hips forward and against that warmth. “Spread your legs wider,” he heard Hakuei tell him and he did so without question, letting his breath out in a long sigh when Hakuei’s fingers curled around him and began to pump him hard and fast, just as hard and fast as he had been thrusting into him earlier.

Hakuei’s other hand remained on Tetsu’s hip, the fingers digging firmly into the flesh. Tetsu knew that he would be bruised by morning, and just that knowledge made a shiver run through him. He rocked back against Hakuei’s hips wantonly, and Hakuei growled, his nails now digging into the skin of Tetsu’s hip, making Tetsu whimper. “Not yet,” Hakuei warned.

Tetsu felt Hakuei adjust himself just a little, changing the angle only slightly. When Hakuei thrust his hips forward again, his cock brushed against Tetsu’s prostate; Tetsu all-but screamed, hoping to whatever deity existed that the room next door was vacant, and if it wasn’t, that this hotel at least had thick walls.

Really thick walls.

“God… ahh… fuck,” Tetsu knew quite well that he wasn’t making any sense whatsoever, so he struggled to clear his mind somewhat and make at least a few words comprehensible. “Motto,” he begged, thrusting back against Hakuei’s hips, moaning and trembling all over when the action caused Hakuei to brush against his prostate once more. “… Just like that… mmm…”

It was then that Hakuei began pounding into him, and Tetsu did all he could to keep up with his lover, first pushing back against the firm heat that was driving into him, and then thrusting forward into the warmth of Hakuei’s hand. Both of these sensations were driving him absolutely insane, and he believed that if this was what insanity was like, he didn’t mind it one bit.

The only sounds that filled the room now were those of flesh smacking against flesh and moans, gasps, and whimpers, courtesy of both Tetsu and Hakuei.

When Hakuei raggedly whispered the words “Come for me” against Tetsu’s ear and rubbed his thumb over all the sensitive spots of Tetsu’s head, that was all it took. When Hakuei next slammed into him, adding that extra bit of stimulation, Hakuei’s name tore itself from Tetsu’s throat and he came hard, his muscles clamping down around Hakuei’s length. His cum spurted onto Hakuei’s hand and dribbled down his fingers, and some of it got on the walls as well, but they would worry about that later.

Tetsu felt Hakuei throb within him, and it made him whimper. His muscles clenched again, and Hakuei came then, buried deep inside of him. His own name was loud in his ears because Hakuei was screaming so close to them, but he wasn’t complaining in the least.

Tetsu weakly rested his forehead against the wall, and Hakuei moved his hand from his cock. Tetsu didn’t have to look to know what he was doing; he knew that Hakuei was licking the cum off his fingers, savoring every bitter drop that touched his tongue. He next felt Hakuei’s chin resting on his shoulder, and they stood there for several moments while the rest of the world caught up with them and while they both struggled to remember how to breathe properly.

It was then that Tetsu’s legs decided to turn to jelly, and Tetsu cursed his body, believing that he would just slide right to the floor. However, Hakuei wrapped both arms around his waist and wouldn’t let him slide that far. In fact, Hakuei was still sheathed within Tetsu’s tight warmth. Tetsu had the feeling that Hakuei didn’t want to abandon this moment just yet, and Tetsu wasn’t quite ready for it to be over with, either.
“You’re amazing,” Tetsu heard Hakuei breathe, and he shook his head, attempting to argue.

“You’re the amazing one,” he countered, gasping when Hakuei nipped at his neck.

“Don’t argue with me, Tet-chan.”

There was a long pause, and then Tetsu finally said: “Fine.”

“So, you think we can make it to the bed now?” Hakuei asked, and this time, Tetsu did turn his head to look at him.

“You mean this isn’t all, Haku-chan?”

Hakuei shook his head, stepping back a little and pulling out of Tetsu. Tetsu whimpered a little at the loss, but the promising tone of Hakuei’s voice made his spine tingle and it conjured wonderful little images that launched a full-out invasion on Tetsu’s mind. “The night is young,” Hakuei said simply, gently turning Tetsu to face him.

The look in Hakuei’s eyes was even more intoxicating, and Tetsu found himself staring into their fathomless depths without really meaning to. He only blinked when Hakuei laughed softly, and blushing, he averted his eyes. “Can’t help it sometimes,” he explained softly, resting his forehead against Hakuei’s chest.

He felt Hakuei’s fingers at the back of his neck and barely refrained from making noise as Hakuei began to gently knead at the flesh. “It’s okay,” he heard Hakuei whisper, “you have the same effect on me, you know.”

Hakuei continued to massage the back of his neck, and after several moments, Tetsu finally spoke. “I think you do things like that on purpose. You just… do things to make me go weak-kneed just for the hell of it. Keep doing that and I’ll slide right to the floor.”

Hakuei laughed again, the sound a low rumble in his chest, and Tetsu shivered slightly, leaning in closer to Hakuei’s body. “Well, I guess we should go to the bed now, huh?” he asked, and Tetsu nodded quite enthusiastically, looking up at his lover.

“But I think we should get rid of the rest of our clothes first,” Hakuei said. “After all, they’ll only be in the way.” He reached out for Tetsu’s shirt and Tetsu swallowed when Hakuei lifted it, and then raised his arms obediently so that Hakuei could pull it the rest of the way off.

Tetsu’s eyes caught sight of the buttons on Hakuei’s shirt and he wrinkled his nose slightly. “Why did you have to wear a button-up shirt tonight?” he asked, his voice bordering on a whine.

Hakuei grinned down at him amusedly. “Because it’s sexy to watch you get frustrated while you try to undo the buttons.”

“You think I’m sexy when I’m frustrated?” Tetsu asked, raising an eyebrow at his lover before glaring murderously at one of the buttons, believing that if he stared at it hard enough, the damn thing would just unbutton all by itself. “Cos if that’s the case, you should be at band practice when I’m having a not-so-great day.”

“If I recall correctly,” Hakuei began, his voice low, “I did visit you during one practice session, and I made you completely forget about your… frustration.”

At that, Tetsu blushed, but he did manage to get the offending shirt unbuttoned the rest of the way. Hakuei shrugged it off, and it pooled to the floor. Standing on tiptoe, Tetsu placed a gentle kiss to Hakuei’s lips, and then sashayed to the bed, pulling the covers back, but not sliding beneath them. Instead, he reclined on the bed, resting partially on top of the covers. “Hurry up and take the rest of your clothes off,” he teased, “or I just might start without you~.”

Having said that, Tetsu trailed a hand down his chest and abdomen, his breath catching when his fingers moved over his thigh. He caught Hakuei staring at him, that breath leaving him in a shaky sigh due to the look in his lover’s eyes. It was a look of hunger – one that Tetsu had gotten quite used to seeing from Hakuei, but that look always made him breathless, and he was certain that Hakuei knew as much.

When Tetsu’s hand found his already half-hard length, he slid his fingers along the sensitive underside, arching into his own touch and wanting more, growing even harder. Just as he was about to wrap his fingers around himself, he heard Hakuei growl and he glanced up again just in time to see Hakuei heading for the bed – and him – and he noticed that Hakuei was now completely naked. How the man managed to kick off his shoes and get rid of his pants and underwear in just the blink of an eye, Tetsu had no clue. But he wasn’t complaining.

Hakuei was atop him in an instant, batting Tetsu’s hand away and replacing it with his own, his fingers curling tightly around him and making him shudder and release a small moan. “You took away all my fun~,” Tetsu mock-whined when he could speak, wrapping his arms around Hakuei’s neck.

“No I didn’t,” Hakuei replied, smiling. “I took away your ability to torture me in such a cruel way. Now I will reward both of us.”

“Oh?” Tetsu pretended to be curious. “What’s the reward?” He lifted his legs, wrapping them around Hakuei’s waist and drawing him closer, none-too-subtly letting Hakuei know exactly what he was hoping the reward would be.

“Exactly what you want it to be.” Hakuei’s words were murmured against Tetsu’s lips, and Tetsu groaned softly as he felt Hakuei beginning to push inside of him, slowly this time, inch by inch. When Hakuei was buried fully inside of him, Tetsu kissed him, slow and deep, thrusting his tongue rather suggestively into his lover’s mouth, breaking away from Hakuei’s lips only when the need for air caused him to do so.

“Haku… please…”

Hakuei didn’t make him wait much longer. He pulled back slightly and then thrust forward again, repeating the motion and beginning a slow rhythm. His hand expertly worked Tetsu over, easily keeping in time with his thrusts, and Tetsu clung to him desperately, not moving – at least, not just yet. He was content to lie still for a few moments and watch Hakuei as he moved within him, carefully noting the look in those eyes, admiring the way his hair slid from behind his shoulders and tumbled forward to frame each side of his face. Hakuei was beautiful.

“Move with me, Tet,” Hakuei whispered raggedly, and when Tetsu did thrust his hips upward, Hakuei moaned and shuddered, his cock throbbing – Tetsu could feel it, and it made his muscles clench. That in turn made Hakuei throb even harder. “Nnng, Tet-chan…” It seemed as if Hakuei wanted to say more, but his words were overridden by another moan.

Tetsu thrust his hips up a little harder, biting back a moan when it caused his lover to slide even deeper into him, and then pulled back, letting Hakuei slide almost all the way out of him before he thrust upwards again, groaning out Hakuei’s name as he did so.

Hakuei was like his drug. Tetsu always craved more of him, both when they were together and when they weren’t together. When they weren’t together, the craving was especially strong, because Hakuei wasn’t there to give him his ‘Hakuei-fix’. At those times, his need was overpowering and almost painful. Even when they were together, sometimes hurt just too look at him, to feel him. Not a physical pain, but one that ran much, much deeper.

Echoing Tetsu’s thoughts, Hakuei murmured, “Can’t get enough of you,” before shifting so that his angle changed slightly, and brushed against Tetsu’s prostate with his next thrust. Tetsu cried out, his nails digging into the skin of Hakuei’s back, his hips moving of their own accord.

Tetsu shakily slid a hand between their bodies, his fingers finding Hakuei’s, which were still wrapped firmly around his length. He linked their fingers together and began moving his hand with Hakuei’s, trembling each time either his or Hakuei’s thumb rubbed over his head. It was all too much, and he knew he wouldn’t last long at all now.

“Not long now, Tet,” Hakuei said rather breathlessly, his thrusts beginning to take a different rhythm, one more desperate. Evidently, Hakuei needed release just as much as Tetsu himself did, and as much as Tetsu would’ve liked for their lovemaking to continue for a much greater amount of time, he found himself unable to still the movements of his hips. He thrust upwards just as hungrily, just as desperately as Hakuei thrust downwards, unwilling to pause for even half a second now. He was too close to slow down now – they were both too close.

The intensity within Tetsu’s body was rapidly building, the tension coiling in his stomach, ready to break. Hakuei leaned down then, his lips latching around one of Tetsu’s nipples and sucking hard. Tetsu arched his back, the head of his erection brushing against Hakuei’s abdomen. “Hnnn… fuck! I’m going to--”

Hakuei’s next thrust pushed Tetsu completely over the edge and he cried out, clutching desperately at Hakuei with one hand while his other hand tightened spasmodically around both his cock and Hakuei’s fingers. He could feel his cum – warm and somewhat sticky on his fingers, running down between his thighs and getting on the bedsheets.

Hakuei thrust into him again and again, and Tetsu’s muscles clamped down around his lover, so hard that Tetsu wondered if it was painful for Hakuei. That thought quickly vanished from his mind when Hakuei came, crying out as well, although his cries were muffled by the skin of Tetsu’s chest. Tetsu could feel Hakuei’s release – hot and deep inside of him – and it made him gasp breathlessly.

“Tet,” Hakuei said softly after a few moments, and Tetsu was pleased to note that Hakuei was just as breathless, “you won’t leave yet, will you?”

Tetsu smiled and brought his hand out from between them, gazing at the cum still clinging to his fingers. He didn’t answer Hakuei’s question. Hakuei - apparently somewhat disgruntled by Tetsu’s complete lack of an answer - lifted his head, gazing curiously at Tetsu’s hand and leaned forward, his tongue lapping at those slender fingers, cleaning them. Tetsu barely refrained from squirming – it tickled when Hakuei’s tongue slid between his fingers, and just the very sight was quite erotic.

Hakuei lifted his own hand then, licking at his fingers as well, almost greedily lapping up Tetsu’s cum. “You taste good,” he informed when he caught Tetsu staring, and Tetsu blushed, shaking his head a little.

Hakuei rested his head on Tetsu’s chest, and Tetsu threaded his fingers through Hakuei’s hair, sighing contentedly as they waited for the rest of the world to catch up with them. “Hey,” he whispered after several moments of silence. Hakuei lifted his head and gazed at him quizzically. “I don’t want to leave yet,” Tetsu continued, no longer whispering. “And besides,” he said with a grin, “like you said, the night is young. It’s nowhere near dawn yet.”

“But also like I said, Tet-chan, the time will pass far too quickly,” Hakuei reminded him before leaning down and kissing him deeply.


Time had indeed passed too quickly, Tetsu decided hours later as he glared at the early morning sun, almost believing that if he glared at it hard enough, it would decide to disappear below the horizon once more for a few more hours. He wasn’t at all ready to leave Hakuei’s room.

Then again, he never was. The bed was warm, Hakuei was warm, and Hakuei’s arms around him felt so very good. No, Tetsu did not want to leave. He voiced that thought, and heard Hakuei murmur something in reply, though his answer was completely incomprehensible. He sounded somewhat sleepy.

Well, Tetsu couldn’t have that, now, could he?

In an effort to jolt Hakuei back into full consciousness, Tetsu began placing soft, open-mouthed kisses down his lover’s jaw, and then his chest. His eyes caught sight of those damnable birds and he paused, staring at them without really meaning to. The nagging voice in the back of his mind was currently telling him again and again that he was doing this far too often – that he couldn’t compare Hakuei to his tattoos like this. He was being silly again and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. His breath left him in a soft sigh, and then Hakuei said his name, very softly: “Tetsu.”

Startled and feeling somewhat sheepish, Tetsu looked up. “Sorry,” he mumbled, trying to look away, but Hakuei wouldn’t let him.

“Tetsu,” Hakuei said again, his fingers running gently over Tetsu’s cheek. Tetsu found himself leaning unconsciously into that touch, smiling in spite of himself. “I won’t fly away,” Hakuei told him, still speaking in that soft voice. “I promise.”

“I feel like you might, sometimes,” Tetsu admitted, and now he did look away. “I’m so pathetic, I know.”

”You aren’t,” Hakuei reassured, kissing Tetsu’s forehead. Hakuei had always been so damn wonderful about this whole thing – about their whole secret affair, even though they both knew that he wanted more than just a secret affair. Tetsu knew that he could give Hakuei more than that, and he knew that Hakuei deserved more.

Before his thoughts could begin going around in those circles that he knew too well, before his stupidity and his selfishness could ruin both his and Hakuei’s morning, he made a decision: he was going to give Hakuei – and himself – more than just a dirty little secret.

“Haku,” he began, feeling brave enough to meet Hakuei’s eyes now, and even brave enough to lean closer and press their lips together, his next words whispered against Hakuei’s lips: “Some secrets aren’t meant to stay secrets forever.”

He watched as Hakuei’s eyes grew wide, and felt Hakuei’s arms tighten around him. For a few moments, there was nothing between them but silence, and then Hakuei finally said, “Tet, I don’t think you understand what you’re--”

“I understand perfectly what I’m saying, and what I’m doing,” Tetsu interrupted, kissing Hakuei sweetly before sliding back down a little to continue his ministrations from earlier. As his lips traveled down Hakuei’s chest, and over the firm muscles of Hakuei’s abdomen, he could hear his lover protesting, telling him to stop because Tetsu would have some explaining to do if his bandmates knocked on his door to find him gone.

Okay, so maybe explaining to them would not be the most pleasant of experiences. But, it was about time he grew a fucking backbone and tossed his fears aside, because Hakuei most definitely was worth it. And besides, he definitely didn’t want to stop what he was doing right now.

As Tetsu circled his tongue around Hakuei’s bellybutton, he came to the realization that the lower his lips traveled, the weaker Hakuei’s protests became. Grinning wickedly, he kissed lower, down to Hakuei’s thighs. He lightly kissed and sucked at Hakuei’s inner thighs, purposefully bypassing his cock, and teasing all around it instead.

“Tetsu…” Hakuei’s voice was a low, pleading moan, and his fingers threaded through Tetsu’s hair, rubbing lightly at his scalp.

Tetsu looked up at him, raising an eyebrow and smiling. “Let them ask me questions,” he told Hakuei. “I really don’t care anymore. I’ve been driving myself crazy over this. I hate to see you look so sad when I have to leave. I hate to make you feel like you’re excluded from part of my life. I don’t want you to be my secret anymore, Haku-chan.” He licked his lips, and then continued, “You’re my everything, you know. It’s about time other people realized what you are to me, too.”

They gazed at each other for a second or two, and then Tetsu shifted, opening his mouth and taking all of Hakuei’s arousal, deep-throating him in one go. He felt Hakuei’s fingers tighten in his hair, and heard Hakuei moan rather loudly. If he could have, he would have grinned like a fool. I win, he thought triumphantly.

And one other thing: Tetsu sure as hell didn’t hear Hakuei protesting anymore, though he did make plenty of noises which did not belong within the category of ‘protesting’. At all.

”Some secrets aren’t meant to stay secrets forever.”

Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Miyavi - Dear from XXX
Taliana: cutie in redjinjja on November 23rd, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC)
gls; nbgosjkgms;lg kshgas nktlastl sakgnsa



Kagomekagome_angel on November 23rd, 2005 10:11 pm (UTC)
*Giggles and throws confetti* I am so glad you liked this thing. And again, I'm sorry it took so long for me to write it. -_- *clings*
luminous being: kenchantaylormercury on November 23rd, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
YOU BE CRAZY. HOW COULD YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE NOT VERY GOOD??? *pokes you incessantly* I'm not even INTO hakutsu pairing and I thought it was hot and good and sweet and wonderful and just OMG great!!! *is now a little puddle of goo*

your smut is always the hottest, hottest thing ever!! I be jealous of your smut writing skills. This was great.
Kagome_newworld on November 23rd, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC)
Do NOT be jealous of my lack of smut-writing skills~. ^_^ I have none!

And you write more wonderfully, so there! NEENER! *pokes tongue out at you*

I'm glad you read and liked it though. ^____^ *tries to clean up goo*
luminous beingtaylormercury on November 23rd, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE STOOPID!! SUPA STOOPID!!! You write so much better, especially your smut, and always have! SILLY. I love reading what you write because it's always so good, and so detailed, and so HOT. So be quiet now or I'll get my chopstick out and POKE YOU!
Kagome_newworld on November 23rd, 2005 11:59 pm (UTC)
*Grabs Ken and pokes you* XD;;;
luminous beingtaylormercury on November 24th, 2005 12:05 am (UTC)
*takes Ken and runs away to have hot, wild sex with him*